“Follow the energy” is way common new-age advice that especially applies to Orgasmic Sex.
The first time I got this guidance was from a gorgeous nude woman at a naturist social gathering at my house. Back then I was so militant a nudist that I used to answer the door naked. Well, at least to my naturist friends. Later when I sat down to flirt with her, all she would reply was “It’s all about the energy, baby.” Since that was as close as I ever got to hooking up with her, I made a point of exploring her advice.
That was one of the reasons I started studying Tantra. Well, that and also because a new woman I was hot for was studying to be a Tantra teacher. I didn’t want to disappoint her even though I didn’t know at the time that we would be married not long after. We’ve been together and practicing Orgasmic Sex for 21 years now.
Tantra is an ancient eastern spiritual practice that utilizes lifeforce energy to raise consciousness. Since we’re so hung up about sex in the modern world, there’s lots of suppressed sexual energy waiting to be released. And enjoyed. As a result, most people new to the philosophy equate Tantra with Tantric Sex.
But it’s actually more about raising your awareness of yourself, your soul, your body, and your sensations. The way you experience all those things is through lifeforce energy.
I suppose it would help to define energy for those of you who find this sometimes vague term too vague to translate into the bedroom. Our latest book, Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex (to be published by Llewellyn Worldwide spring 2019), defines sexual energy this way…
The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations. Also known as Orgasmic Energy and Kundalini.
Now, there are a lot of forms of this bioenergy. When it’s pulsing in your heart, you feel it as love. When it’s buzzing in your third eye behind your forehead, your wisdom and intuition are sharpened. When you’re receiving a massage, it’s undoubtedly invigorating your whole nervous system. In fact, there are seven primary forms of lifeforce energy which is why Tantrics study the chakras, the seven energy centers arrayed along the spine from the pelvic floor to the crown of the head.
Horny lovers are often driven by lust which stems from the urge to propagate the species at the first chakra. When you rip each other’s clothes off and hump your way to a quick explosive release, no doubt you’re following that kind of energy. But when we talk about Orgasmic Sex, we’re referring to generating and exchanging energy at multiple chakras. All-chakra lovemaking undoubtedly creates the most ecstatic pleasure.
With all that in mind, let’s look at the six main ways to follow the energy, baby.
Search for Sweet Spots
I call erogenous zones sweet spots. Those are places on or inside your body that erupt with sensation when touched or stimulated. Rubbing or poking a sweet spot causes sexual energy to stream out and shower the body with pleasure. In Orgasmic Sex we target 43 distinct sweet spots, 18 in the male body and 25 in the female one. Hopefully you’re familiar with one of a woman’s most powerful ones, the clio (clitoris). Actually though a woman’s clio has seven different sweet spots: hood, pearl, shaft, two legs, and two bulbs. There’s also five distinct sweet spots on the head of a man’s vajra (penis) alone.
The first way to follow the energy is to wander around and play with different sweet spots to find out what feels good right now.
Keep Doing What Causes a Reaction
Sometimes we get so caught up in how good it feels that we forget our partner. You won’t know what your playmate is enjoying if you don’t pay attention. Body language provides clearcut communication if your honey lets their passion show. And if you monitor his or her skin color, breath, body motions, and sounds.
When you notice what’s causing turn-on, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that you should keep doing it. The energy is telling you where to concentrate.
Move Your Focus
Sexual stimulation is a moving target. Say you’re licking something for a while and the reaction subsides. You’re not doing anything wrong. That’s just how bodies are. Excitement comes and goes. So you need to move your focus.
Sure, sometimes your sucking or stroking is so right on that you can make your baby climb all the way to orgasm. But even then, if you want to make Orgasmic Sex last as long as you can like we do, you might want to switch to other sweet spots.
When the sensitivity decreases in one zone and increases in another, follow it.
Let It Spread
Energy pooled in one place can stream out and settle in another. We really love it when kundalini spreads, excites other sweet spots, and ultimately fills our whole body. Then you have two or more erogenous zones generating turn-on in your body. Letting it flow where it will is the path to blended full-body orgasms. So when your excitement grows, follow it.
Reach Out Psychically
I think great lovers listen to their intuition. When I first started practicing Tantra, brief visions of erotic moves would flash through my mind. Like changing positions. Or pulling out and going down for a taste of oral sex. But at first I didn’t notice these fleeting images.
When I got more experience and confidence, I realized that these inspirations were subtle kundalini talking to me. So I started to heed them. Which makes me a much more unpredictable lover now. Fortunately, my lovers seem to get off on me changing things up. At least until they’re ready for me to help them over the top.
I call this skill whimsy and it’s a key practice in our latest book. So to follow the energy, let your whims lead you. Now you might ask if it’s your energy or you sweetie’s that’s calling to you? Could be one, or the other, or both. But really who cares as long as you’re keep each other’s body guessing and having lots of fun.
Share the Energy
You can enjoy sexual energy in the above ways just by playing with yourself. In Tantra we definitely celebrate self-pleasuring.
But there is a final key when making love with another energy-aware person. When you’re both following the energy, it can arc between you. A sweet spot in each of your bodies can hook up and create a passion circuit. Any chakra that’s open, charged, and firing can link up with your playmate’s.
Which is why touching, kissing, and looking into each other’s eyes while your jewels (genitals) are coupling is so much sweeter. In fact, that allows you to open multiple passion circuits at once. Then the kundalini can cycle in and out between you in energy circles.
When the passion starts leaping back and forth, isn’t that something you love to follow?
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There you have it: six ways to just follow the energy, baby…
- Search for sweet spots
- Keep doing what causes a reaction
- Move your focus
- Let it spread
- Reach out psychically
- Share the energy.
After making love this way thousands of times in our over twenty years together, Orgasmic Sex never gets old, stale, or boring.
But maybe you’ve got some other tricks to follow the energy and keep things fresh. Please comment below or shoot me an email here. I’d love to learn what turns you on.