Sex and Energy, Anal Sex, the Orgasm Gap

Here are links to some articles that explain vital aspects of Orgasmic Sex…

Tantric Sex & Taoism: The Energetic Implications of Sex & How You Can Make It Work For You – Collective Evolution

Your Guide to Making ​Anal Sex More Enjoyable | Women’s Health

The Orgasm Gap: Why Some People Orgasm More Than Others & Why Orgasms Are So Misunderstood – Collective Evolution

Sexual Muscles Are Important But You Can Overdo It

Question

I read your book about 3 years ago (Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery) and had gotten to a place with a few partners where I could last as long as I wanted.  About 18 months ago I started getting blood in the semen and it would backfill into my bladder.  I have had this on and off.  I have experimented with quick ejaculations not trying to delay with. I blood.  And it seems when I flex my PC muscle (pubococcygeal or the pelvic floor) 3 or more times during sex or masturbation, I get blood in my urine and ejaculate.  I went over this with my doctor and went and got scoped by a urologist.  They found nothing as it healed up.  Have you heard of this before?  What would you recommend I do to delay ejaculation?

Patrick Herbig (patherbig@gmail.com) reprinted with permission


Answer

Wow Patrick that doesn’t sound too good. But the same happens to me sometimes. I have an enlarged but otherwise healthy prostate. The last time I had it ultra sounded the experienced doctor said that was common with an oversized gland. So I don’t worry about it since it’s only occasional and temporary.

If yours is normal sized I really don’t know what to tell you. I haven’t heard of this from PC clenches alone.

There is a Tantric practice called vajroli that teaches men to evacuate into the bladder.  But it’s not something I’ve practiced or know much more about.
All I can say if it feels good and doctors see nothing abnormal in your gland, continue to enjoy yourself.
If you’re not comfortable with the way it is, I would ask the following…
  • Is the urologist you consulted experienced with similar conditions?
  • What is the size of your prostate?
  • Are you forcing Ejaculate into your bladder with intense contractions?
  • What does that feel like inside?
It could be that your success is physical. If you developed the advanced energy practices that depend more on relaxation than muscle contractions, you would be putting less pressure on your gland.
If you want some help with any of this, please let me know.
Love, Somraj

Hi Somraj,
Thanks so much for your response!
I think I have figured out that my PC muscle is so well developed and I am not using the relaxing techniques enough that I actually caused the damage by squeezing my pc muscle too much while very very erect.
It was very scary at first!
I finally told my doctor about your book and the methods I had learned and practiced and we figured it out.
I am in the process of going back through your book and practicing the relaxation techniques and spreading the energy away from my genitals.
I have had several very satisfied lovers as a result of your book and similar books!

Thanks again!

Patrick Herbig, PE

She Wants It Often, I Want It Longer

Our sexual patterns are different. Though we have so much in common and our sex life is great, after 21 years it’s a little surprising to discover new things.

Like she wants it more often and I want each time to last longer.

Maybe quicker sex is fine for her since we’ve been making so much progress on triggering her orgasms faster. She only needed about 20 minutes of thrusting last night to explode.

For most of my sexual life I couldn’t last anywhere near that long. But my Tantra training and extensive practice with a wife who loves sex has taught me to extend. Now I can surf from peak to peak until I’m ready to let go an hour or more.

I’m just saying that I f you’re quick on the draw there is hope.

So she wants it every other day which is more than I’ve ever had before. Of course I love to help her over the top. It feels great and it’s good for my fragile male ego. But when my motor gets revved up, I prefer to float in an orbit of ecstasy for a couple hours on a good night. Or on and off all weekend during one of our marathons.

Fortunately she really gets off on swapping roles and using my favorite vibrating dildo on me. After her big O she did me like for another 40 minutes. Still I wanted more so I went to my computer after she fell asleep. Though my “internet girlfriends” don’t really know who I am, their pictures help me imagine screwing them. Which keeps me dancing on the verge while playing with myself.

The best news is that we’re both accepting of each other’s preferences. So neither of us pressures the other to change. Being sex-positive means we don’t judge or resist the fantasies that our healthy libidos drive us towards.

Anyway, we’ve both been through lots of different phases in our 21 years together. What we each crave now will probably change soon. And my guess is that it will still be ecstatic.

 

Love, Somraj

Beating Premature Ejaculation Q & A

Somraj,

Hi there! I recently purchased your book about beating premature ejaculation and it’’s great and I really enjoy it! However I’’m still on the solo preparation chapter and my girlfriend is with me three nights a week and I feel I lose time on my workouts because she’’s there. Would it be a good or bad idea to incorporate her in the routines? I realize that would move me to the partner preparation chapter. But we could work on that when she’’s there and continue my way through solo prep and mastery when she’s not there.

Thank you!

Steve

(used with permission under a changed name)

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Steve,

Absolutely, Steve.  Involving her is a later stage that’s essential so the sooner the better as long as you can handle it.

Love, Somraj

__________________________

Somraj,

So it’s okay if I haven’t gotten through the solo prep to involve her but just go as slow as possible to work my way up on the 30 minutes for that first exercise of partner prep? Then on days she’s not there I’ll continue solo prep to solo mastery. Kind of like paralleling the two courses.

Steve

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Steve,

Sure. I wrote down the most reliable learning gradient for the program. But there’s no reason you can’t change it in any way that works for you. Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders so you can make it work.

Love, Somraj

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Somraj,

Thanks so much for your quick responses, Somraj! Really reinforces my decision to buy your book. Hopefully if I can kick this PE issue, the lady and I will definitely be interested in more of your material.

Steve

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Somraj,

So my girlfriend knows about the routine and she’s interested in doing it but I have some reserve asking her to start. I guess I’m just nervous that I’m ruining the spontaneity of lovemaking by getting on this routine/regime. I don’t want to make this seem like a chore to her, and I want it to be just as pleasurable as lovemaking. Not only pleasurable but just as emotionally connecting as with lovemaking.
Also my question is while we’re still in solo prep do we still have sex while on the routine? She’s only here three days a week because of work, so it’s a tight time frame. If we do still have sex I feel like I’d be losing progress by bringing back bad habits that I’m trying to get rid of by following your routine.
It all boils down to I’m just a natural over thinker and she’s willing to start but I’m too nervous to initiate because of the aforementioned.
I guess I’m just nervous because she’s the love of my life and I know I am the same to her. I don’t any to screw anything up by complicating something that should be easy.

Steve

__________________________

I’m glad you’re taking all this so seriously. And please don’t stop having sex IF you’re both enjoying it.

When I was a counselor we had a strict protocol for starting sessions by saying “this is the session” at the start and “that’s it” at the end. I suggest you do the same, making a clear distinction between practice and fun. If it was me I’d say something like “let’s practice now” and then “enough practice, can I fuck you now?” But you may want to tone down your request if she’s not into talking dirty like my wife.

Being anxious is one of the main reasons for coming too quick. So I have to turn most of your questions back to you and ask… Which way are you most comfortable and least anxious?
The fact that your girlfriend is aware of your program is great. So many guys are too chicken to tell them which makes the whole program more pressurized.

Basically do whatever works best for you. And if what you try isn’t working, try something else. I’m sure you can experiment successfully.

Love, Somraj

Healing Sexual Trauma, Orgasms Alter Consciousness, Extraordinary Lovemaking

Here are some links to articles that can help you understand and practice Orgasmic Sex…

What is tantric sex, and how can it help heal sexual trauma? | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

Neuroscientist Explains How Orgasms Can Be Used To Reach An ‘Altered State of Consciousness’ – Collective Evolution

Bored With Sex? 3 Tips For Extraordinary Lovemaking – mindbodygreen