(This article appeared in our Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter on February 24, 2017.)
Many sex therapists recommend that lovers use a 10-point scale for monitoring their level of arousal during sexual play. I first learned about it from the now-departed and renown sex therapist Bernie Zilbergeld who wrote The New Male Sexuality in 1992.
For example, a man might use 0 to represent the rest state, 5 the beginning of pleasure surges, and 10 for ejaculation.
I made the scale an early foundation of my first ebook, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery, which appeared in print as Male Multiple Orgasm in 2007. In those volumes I recommend a man develop his own personal definition for each level.
“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #281 published 2/24/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
To learn to last longer, it’s really helpful for a guy to know when he’s having fun around 4, 5, and 6 and suddenly his turn-on shoots up to 8. Then he can slow down or otherwise adjust to avoid exploding before he wants. And for us old guys it’s important to realize when good feelings at 6 or 7 start to droop below 5. That’s when I speed up or switch to a tighter position so I can stay hard and in the game as long as I want.
Now that I’m an active yet still hypersensitive 70-year-old, I find that my lovemaking swings back and forth from too soft to too close to coming. Over the years I’ve learned lots of things I can do to respond. But I need to be mindful of my level of excitement to know what to do in each moment.
You may not need a 10-point scale to tell you how turned-on you are. But it helps me a lot.
I’d love to be able to brag about how much progress I’ve made towards enlightenment from my twenty-year spiritual journey that includes teaching and practicing Tantra. But the reality is that my mind just naturally measures things all the time.
A case in point. When my sweetie and I vibrate together as we soar to a high peak of pleasure and then relax into each other’s arms, my mind might automatically flash 753. If I care to, I can figure out that’s a pretty high mark on some imaginary scale of 1000.
But since I prefer to enjoy sex as a meditation as much as my monkey-mind will allow, I usually just watch the scientific process go by. Did I mention that, like my dad, I have a degree in organic chemistry? Maybe that’s where the involuntary measurement program came from.
I’m not complaining. I just wanted to give you a little perspective on my personal version of the 10-point arousal scale…
0 = rest state with no arousal
1 = twinge at the base of my penis
2 = occasional little tingles of pleasurable sensations
3 = starting to warm up and feel good
4 = steady hum low-level of arousal
5 = occasional scattered surges of pleasure that feel really good
6 = my skin gets hot and tingly with goose bumps and a heat flush rising
7 = steady surges of buzzing sexual electricity stream up and down my penis
8 = the streams coalesce into energy blossoms which detonate like fireworks inside
9 = deep involuntary contractions that spread up to and engulf my prostate gland
9.9 = the point of no return, otherwise known as ejaculatory inevitably
10 = ejaculation
To learn ejaculation mastery, guys need to become intimately familiar with 9.9, the point of no return. You know the feeling of time stopping? It’s like the movie clip that suddenly goes into slow motion as the car uncannily careens over the cliff. Once you arrive there, what happens next is inevitable.
I know there are lots of techniques to prevent slipping over the edge too soon, many of which are in my book. Like compressing the base of the penis with your fingers, thinking about baseball, and squeezing the pelvic muscles tight.
But, as the hottie said who rejected me years ago before I learned any of this, “it’s all about the energy baby.”
Which is why my 5 through 9 on my scale reflect new definitions based on the sexual energy flowing through me. The last few weeks my “auto arousal measuring app” kept flashing those single digits at me. Since Tantric lovemaking is supposed to be a conscious process, I paid attention.
That’s when I noticed the scattered surges of sexual energy at 5 and the goose bumps and skin flush at 6. I recognized that the buzzing electrical current at 7 felt even better but didn’t push me to the edge of 9.9.
But some kind of internal warning lights started to flash at 8 alerting me that I was getting close to those involuntary contractions at 9. If I’m relaxed and conscious, that’s where I like to stay while we’re going at it. But if 9 sneaks up on me too suddenly, anything can happen.
OK, maybe I am bragging bit. I’m really proud of myself for noticing the energy blossoms at 8 that detonate those internal fireworks. Now I’ve got a reliable system that prevents me from going over the top before I’m ready.
Even if you don’t measure your turn-on like I have no choice in doing, I hope this helps. Let’s leave it here: knowing how turned-on you are at each moment is a really, really good thing.
ORGASMIC SEX DISCUSSION BOARD
Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.
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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA
Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.
Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
– deepen love and intimacy,
– extend lovemaking, and
– create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.
By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
– heals your mind, body, and spirit,
– connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
– immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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