Women’s Orgasms, Health Benefits of Sex, How Good Are You In Bed

If you’re interested in enjoying hours of Orgasmic Sex, check out the great articles at the following links…

Can a man tell if a woman orgasms? | Go Ask Alice!

The Health Benefits Of Sex – mindbodygreen

The following is a great article about knowing what you like and communicating your preferences  essential for Supernatural Sex

Good In Bed – Temperature’s Rising 

Reimagine Sexual Consent, Be More Sex-Positive, the Male Orgasm

Here are l9nks to some articles that will make your sex more orgasmic…

It’s time to reimagine consent in our romantic lives – Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

10 Ways to Be More Sex Positive | The Everygirl

Why the Male Orgasm Is Not as Simple as Everyone Tries to Tell You – Beducated Magazine

Tantra Newsletter: Merging Sex, Love and Spirit through Tantra – 2

Tantra Doesn’t Divide Sex and Spirit, Orgasms and the Divine

Last month I sent you part 1 of this article. Here is the second half which dives into pleasure, love, and the merger of chakras energies.

(If you missed the first installment, you can read it in our archives here…   http://www.tantraattahoe.com/news/10272016.htm )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #295 published 7/24/18

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2018 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register…

               http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Comments, questions, feedback: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.          Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PLEASURE

Don’t you agree that you want all of your lifeforce energies alive and percolating when you couple? If something is bugging you, or if you have a desire that hasn’t been fulfilled, or if you don’t feel you have enthusiastic consent to take your relationship to a higher place, then you’ll have energy that’s not connecting with your partner’s.

To deal with disconnects, it helps to understand the role of pleasure in a Tantric life.

When you look at the choices you make, you’ll see that at some level you believe what you decide will make you feel better. But too often it doesn’t turn out that way.

To many people navigate through life based on what they think they’re supposed to do, what others want them to do, or what’s expected of them. That’s not how the Tantric attitude operates.

Instead of being motivated to avoid discomfort, embarrassment, or pain in life, Tantra guides us to directly and actively seek what makes us feel good. Cut out the middle man and go right for the gusto.

Which is why one of Tantra’s basic principles is, ”Nothing is more important than that you feel good right now.”

To do this you need to learn to heighten your experience of the moment, get in touch with your feelings, and judge what brings you pleasure. Then, according to the Tantric sages, your life will expand and evolve just the way you want it to.

Since many of us are programmed with a strong injunction against selfishness, this Tantric guideline is hard for many to swallow. We’re raised believing that thinking only of ourselves is a big sin. So we don’t put enough attention on our own mental health and physical well-being. As a result, we feel guilty when we look after ourselves or we do things that don’t bring us joy. Which makes us stressed, moody, grumpy, and resentful.

Tantra doesn’t encourage you to exclude other’s feelings, needs, and happiness. It just teaches that in order to help others, give emotional support, and be there for them, you’ve got to look after our own self first.

Only when you’re feeling good and your spirit is soaring can you truly love.

Wouldn’t it be better to be happy so you’re more able to cheer up everyone around you? Would you rather have a depressed lover who clings to you or an independent one who bubbles over with their zest for life and drags you forward instead of backwards?

That’s the spirit of Tantra in a relationship. Do your own personal work and grow spiritually so you can fully connect at body, mind, and soul with your beloved.

RELATIONSHIP

If you embrace the Tantric attitude described above, you’ll be much more lovable and capable of loving.

It’s a Tantric truth that one who seeks love with a mate, family, community, or world, must first be in a joyous place. Then you’re more whole, more complete, more present. If you’re only 10% present, there’s only a little part of you to love. And it may well be the most tarnished part.

Compassion from a dejected soul brings down the recipient. Buddha was renown for the compassion he felt for all living things. That compassion sprang from his heart when he became enlightened and wholly himself.

We’re all conditioned with the expectation that loving someone means to think of them first, which is of course in stark contrast to the Tantra ideals we’ve explained. Are you the primary one who’s responsible for your beloved’s feelings, reactions, and happiness? Most relationships, after the initial honeymoon, settle in to a parade of resentments focused on the other person…

— “What you said hurt me.”

— “If you loved me you would have done it.”

— “I don’t know if I can forgive you for felling that way.”

All of these are based on unexpressed expectations. Tantra teaches us to approach each new moment without expectation. Certainly we have desires and intentions, especially of the ones we love. But walking into any situation with the requirement that it follows certain rules or ends with defined outcomes is a surefire prescription for frustration. Which too often results in us blaming our beloved.

As a result of surviving lots of struggles and eventually finding some happiness, I’ve settled on what to me is a primary Tantric rule of relationships, ”Look at yourself and things get better, look at the other and they get worse.”

Looking after yourself isn’t selfish. It’s the most giving thing you can do to maintain your aware, vibrant, loving spiritual center.

This is how Tantric personal responsibility becomes the springboard for honest communication, deeper intimacy, and the hottest sex of your life. Instead of being dependent on your mate’s struggles, successes, and swings of mood, you become more and more stable yourself. Then there’s more of you to love, be loving, and uplift the one you care the most about.

MERGER

That’s a little about the Tantric approach to merging love, sex, and spirit.

Tantric lovemaking is as much about harnessing your sexual energy consciously as it is about sexual techniques. You reach more intense levels of ecstasy by accessing the huge inner reservoirs of untapped power that lie dormant within. When you make love Tantrically, you maximize the flow of orgasmic energy within you and between you and your lover.

Learning Tantric lovemaking can help you become the blissful, playful, energetic lover you were born to be. A lover who has the desire and capacity for making love last for hours. A lover who gives and receives untold pleasure and stronger ecstasy regardless of your gender or sexual preference.

One thing that sets a Tantric relationship apart is how much sexual ecstasy you can create and how long you can make it last. Ecstasy is the overwhelming feeling of excitement, joy, and happiness that produces a trancelike state of euphoric rapture.

Whatever your gender identity and sexual preferences, you still need to blend masculine and feminine energies. All bodies have the potential for awakening your inner Shiva and your inner Shakti. It takes finding all parts of yourself to do this.

That’s the Tantric prescription for ecstatic love, sex, and spiritual connection.

Love,

Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to try what other lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here… 

    Welcome/Register        http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/welcome/

    Read/Comment              http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/

    Post/Log-In                     http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/wp-login.php

This is the adult educational journal of TantraAtTahoe.com where anyone can post what’s up in their sex life. And what’s down. Here we post our experiences and encourage you to do the same. Did you have a great time list night? A lousy time? A troubling time? Tell us in graphic detail. We want to know and help. This isn’t porno, it’s sex education. Freely post your questions and we’ll do our best to answer them. And at the same time we can all learn to be more open about this vital part of everyone’s life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUMMARY STUFF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Tantra Newsletter: Merging Sex, Love and Spirit through Tantra – 1

Tantra Doesn’t Divide Sex and Spirit, Orgasms and the Divine

Most organized religions and the modern technological world divide sex and spirit. Our culture conditions us to believe that you can have a sacred relationship with the Almighty (if you believe in one) but not while you’re having sex. And when you get down between the sheets with your main squeeze, it can’t be spiritual.

Even though physical pleasure is a divine gift, it’s hard to grow up in the modern world without some mistaken idea that sex is sinful, dirty, and bad.

In Tantra we don’t agree. We don’t separate sex and spirit. We believe you can enjoy a rich spiritual life and a harmonious relationship with an expanding sense of inner peace while you and your beloved pursue mind-blowing orgasms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #294 published 6/26/18

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2018 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register…

               http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Comments, questions, feedback: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.          Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you entertain this new attitude, together you can explore sacred and physical love, intimacy and kink, mental health and sexual ecstasy all at the same time as you discover altered states of awareness.

Yes, you can enjoy a total merger of deep love, ecstatic sex, and spiritual connection. Why else would passionate lovers cry out “Oh my God!” when they come?

TANTRA

Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual path based on the metaphysics of sexual energy. It uses your psychosexual lifeforce to fuel the transformation of your consciousness.

Practicing Tantra teaches you how to harness the lifeforces that drive love and sex. That can help you improve your body, mind, and spirit and connect better with your partner. As a result, Tantra is often called spiritual sex or sacred sexuality.

Tantras roots are very old. Thousands of years old.

The first Tantra teachings emerged in India as a grassroots rebellion against the repressive hierarchical religions of the day. Tantra sprang up as a movement to make spiritual illumination and ascension available to all, not just to the privileged castes via an intermediary like a priest or holy man.

The earliest “tantras” were ancient writings dated some 7,000 years ago that described secret disciplines, meditations. and sexual rituals as a path to liberation and enlightenment. These esoteric texts were written down in the form of a dialogue between the god Shiva and his consort, Shakti.

According to myth, Shiva and Shakti, the archetypal male and female, created the universe by making love. The secretions from their lovemaking formed the basis of the physical world as we know it today. To create the whole, both masculine and feminine energies needed to be unified.

Quite a contrast to the biblical tale of Adam and Eve, right? No original sin, no punishment, nobody’s right and wrong, no expulsion from Eden. Simply create the world through divine sexual union.

Tantra is spiritual because it helps us realize that success isn’t determined by external measures or whether you win the races you enter. The true measure of our success in life is how we feel. And not when all is said and done. It’s how we feel enroute.

If you believe in God or any other supreme power, then you must accept that your life, your spirit, your body are divine gifts. As is the free will to choose how to lead your life. Tantra teaches us that life is about making choices to create joy for ourselves first and then others.

ACCEPTANCE

The Tantric path is all about learning to look inside for your own answers yourself. Tantra shows you how to accept and love all of who you are so that you can open fully to your sexual and spiritual nature.

Tantra believes you are basically good, and that your native state is perpetual bliss. You just need to learn how to navigate the world’s stresses to get your mind, body, emotions, and spirit in alignment at each step.

So drop those outside values that don’t work for you. Let go of society’s artificial standards. Release the false judgments and criticisms you’ve accepted of how you lead your life. Accept all aspects of yourself whether they match what others think or not.

Instead of imposing beliefs of right and wrong stored in your mind, Tantric practice is a way for you to discover what’s true for you, what makes you feel better, and what works for your life, love, relationships, and community. Tantra teaches you to welcome all the forces of life and celebrate them as divine gifts.

It’s this acceptance which makes Tantra so powerful in a love relationship. As you raise your consciousness, you see yourself more clearly and release old beliefs that aren’t serving your personal growth.

CHAKRAS

So how does Tantric practice merger love, sex, and spirit?

To understand that requires understanding the rainbow of human lifeforces in your chakras. The chakras, the Indian word for wheels, are the seven energy centers in your body that govern your different types of body electricity and human magnetism. They are aligned near your spine from the base of your pelvis to the top of your head.

These seven vortexes are mostly invisible whirlpools where different qualities of lifeforce energy are generated, collected, and stored. That includes love at the heart chakra, sexual energy at the lower chakras, and higher wisdom at the upper ones.

Though energy is energy, when it’s active in one chakra, it feels different from the others.

Whether you’re straight or gay, male or female, young or old, you have the potential for all these energies. Let’s say you’re horny (sex chakras) but your partner has carried a lot of stress home from work (mental chakras) that’s distracting them. You’d be wise to help your playmate relax first before attempting to get sexual.

Some popular Tantric techniques are talking, meditation, or sensual massage. Then you can release and spread the pent-up energy so you have a greater chance of involving all the chakras.

My personal slang expression for a total merger of mind and body, soul and sex is all-chakra lovemaking. That’s when you’re both fully empowered, openly communicating, and actively wanting to share pleasure.

  • * *

Keep your eye open for part 2 of this article where I’ll explain how you can use this merger of chakra energy for orgasmic sex and relationship bliss.

     Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to try what other lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here… 

    Welcome/Register        http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/welcome/

    Read/Comment              http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/

    Post/Log-In                     http://tantraattahoe.com/blog/wp-login.php

This is the adult educational journal of TantraAtTahoe.com where anyone can post what’s up in their sex life. And what’s down. Here we post our experiences and encourage you to do the same. Did you have a great time list night? A lousy time? A troubling time? Tell us in graphic detail. We want to know and help. This isn’t porno, it’s sex education. Freely post your questions and we’ll do our best to answer them. And at the same time we can all learn to be more open about this vital part of everyone’s life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUMMARY STUFF

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

GDPR Privacy Policy Reminder

As a subscriber to our Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter or Orgasmic Sex blog, we want to let you know that we have updated the terms and conditions of our Privacy Policy to comply with the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).  

You should know that we only send emails, newsletters, and blog posts with valuable content and information. Our goal is to be of service and add value to your personal life.

By continuing to use our service, you agree that you have read the terms and conditions of our Privacy Policy and that your use is subject to them.

Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter List

Our email list is hosted and protected by EzineDirector.com which only retains the email address you entered when subscribing. You can subscribe to or unsubscribe from our newsletter here at any time.

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Our blog is hosted on our website at Web.com and any personal information you entered is protected by your chosen password. If you’d like to unsubscribe from our blog, you can do so as follows…

  1. Log into your account here.
  2. When the Dashboard page comes up, select “Profile” on the left sidebar menu.
  3. Scroll to the bottom and click the “Delete my Account” button.

If you don’t unsubscribe, we will assume you’re happy with what we share with you every now and again. If you should change your mind in the future, you can always unsubscribe from our blog or from our newsletter by clicking the unsubscribe link at the bottom of each e-mail.

Thank you for being part of our online community!

If you have any questions, please let me know here.

Somraj Pokras

TantraAtTahoe.com

Prostitutes and Poetry – An Inside Look at the Sex Trade (warning 18+)

by Dave Dutton-Fraser

Writer, Occult Researcher/Student/Lecturer, Former Bad Guy

If you have looked through my work you will notice a lot of my material is based on or about my relationship to prostitution and the sex trade. That should come as no surprise if you also know I spent many years as a criminal. For people, mainly men, involved in “The Game”, one term criminals use for the business of crime, the dating pool is pretty shallow and sparse. It’s not like you can meet a girl who can share your life style at a church function.

I loved some of these women, saved and bettered a few of their lives and sadly attended too many funerals. This is one reason I do not approve of criminalizing or demeaning the sex trade or sex trade workers. By criminalizing areas of the sex trade we make criminals of many women who have been victimized. This of course is why they are demeaned and victimized further.

In fact, I have more respect for prostitutes and people in the sex trade than I do many Company Board members, CEO’s, politicians and other “respectable” careers which in fact cause far more damage to the environment and people’s lives. This also forces them to look for companionship and social entertainment with people like me. Basically scumbags who in many cases, feed off their “talents” and instill fear and destructive social values..

I used to think because I didn’t take their money for aid in their work, I never profited from sex work by others. “I will walk you to Hell but I won’t profit by it.” I would say. I now realize I had and still do. Even if it is by writing works like this:

THEY SAY

Did you hear about her and all the “Haters” who follow?

They say she is big trouble and her soul’s dark and hollow.

They say she is selfish, cares but only for herself.

That she rips out hearts to put up high on her shelf.

They say she is a slut who thinks she’s a high class whore.

I say They don’t know her because I see so much more.

They say, They say, on and on, until it gets very old.

Well I say They are jealous she won’t fit Their mold.

Look at yourself and the company that you keep?

Look at your home and how safely you sleep?

When her nightmares rise they are soul crushing things.

Your terrors are so pathetic and your fears untrue ring.

Oh They say a lot when she is not around to be seen.

They say things so I wonder where have They been?

So if you can’t understand how she survives each day,

Shut the FUCK UP!.. I don’t care what They say.

This low classification by society was not how prostitutes were viewed historically. In the Ancient Mediterranean World and Ancient classical times, some prostitutes rose to a level of celebrity though many were referred to by writers of the time as “Dancers”. Even in the Byzantine Empire, Dancers associated with sports leagues and their fan clubs were sought after by nobility as escorts, a term used even now by many sex trade workers.

In a way this type of classification continues but instead of raising the social status of sex trade workers, it demeans the status of other professionals with that designation. Most men now, when they meet a girl with a bubbly personality and a very flirtatious nature, will think “prostitute” when hearing her occupation is as a “dancer”, “nurse”,” actress”, “model” or “student” and what have you. I am not going to argue or discuss if this is because we live in (according to feminists of both sexes) a patriarchal society. The fact is many women do the same. Instead of raising the meaning of prostitute, we degrade other trades like nursing and acting.

One reason that prostitutes have a bad image is because of their criminal classification and the view society has of their work. Not many prostitutes are going to go call the police when things go “wrong”. Also, by criminalizing the work, the law unconsciously creates an unsafe work environment to a trade already more dangerous than most any job a man or female would have. The average “working girl” learns this very quickly and will seek out ways to protect herself.

This protection comes in the form of pimps or other criminals simply by the nature of the societal classification as a criminal. The tasks do not require any special skills for the most part and is mostly “Thug Work”. Checking the room for recording equipment, holding money and adding security by letting their clients know they were not alone. As a result many women turn to thuggish criminals and the like creating another element of crime and sadly danger. The line between relationship duties and rape is often blurred as well furthering any psychological problems these women have.

Not surprisingly these women really do not want a boyfriend for any sexual reason. Romance and protection meant many girls acquired ghastly men in their lives. Others sometimes get lucky and find another way and date “Hobo-sexuals” Men who they provide shelter and drugs for so they could have otherwise missing elements in their lives. Lately this term, “Hobo-sexual” is entering the main stream and applies to any man who lives off a women’s work. When your work means taking the risk of being hospitalized with severe injuries or murdered, you might make some less than savory acquaintances.

I was never a Hobo-sexual but I did work security for a few women, often falling for them. It was in this capacity that I wrote the following poem. On a side note, this poem did very well online in the great state of Texas.

IN AND OUT

I remember a time so long ago

Where I was waiting on Her

Drinking another man’s libations

As She gave sensual pleasure

I didn’t know whether to stay

And listen to her moans

The slapping of their flesh

And his incessant groans

I would make it to the door

And stand in the space between

Never quite exiting the door

Striving not to make a scene

Never neither in nor out

Much like his phallus inside Her

The exit promising relief

The room some unholy allure

A time that was so long ago

And trust me it’s different now

But the problem still remains

Of leaving when and how?

I care not about sounds of flesh

Nor pleasures moaned real or fake

The issue is where I truly belong

Is my presence some odd mistake?

Yet as long as you wish me near

This feeling will lie about

Whether to remain in the doorway

Never neither in nor truly out

Sometimes these “working” associations required other duties than simple protection. On more than one occasion I was asked to “work the phones”. For a lot of sex trade workers, it is hard enough being nice to a client for the time booked, let alone any sort of “sales period”. That was something that even the biggest most dangerous thug would have to learn to do. That is help reel in men on the phone who called the ads that advertised sex trade workers and prostitutes. Of course this is done by texting or messaging. Imitating female voices is not something even effeminate men can do well..

 

Most of these clients, tricks, etc. are not exactly careful about safe sex or cleanliness, even their own hygiene is questionable. Such conditions inspired this next little treat of wordsmithing.

TELEPHONE LINES

Maybe if she didn’t

Hate them

So much.

Maybe if she hadn’t been

Awake for three days.

Maybe if she was

Just good at it,

I would not have

To be her on the phone.

And I do it

For free.

“Hey beautiful, R U working?”

He must like her ad

And the erotic picture,

Face so carefully hidden

As if she wore a Muslim’s veil,

She carefully picked

From all the other

Photographs of deceit.

“Sure am sweetie, and open to anything but bareback”

“What are your rates beautiful?”

I like this guy.

Straight to business

No messing around.

None of that first timer

Fake romantic shit.

He wants a whore

And I have to seal the deal.

He won’t try and kiss her.

“$150/hhr and $250/hr”

Then I add

As she told me

“and open to Greek depends on size”

“Are you available now?”

She is with

Another client.

A skittish type,

Whose communications were

All confused and

Fearful.

A man who must be

married or some strange

living arrangement.

She had to host.

“In ’bout 20 min lover. need to eat”

“I am hungry 2. Can I eat U?”

Good Lord!

Misjudged this one.

Maybe he will

Try and kiss her.

I don’t care that

They all wore

Latex sheaths or showered

First.

She has been going

Hard.

It has to be

A mess down there,

Full of six different

Latex lubricants and

At least two types

Of spermicide,

And he wants to

Dine At The “Y”

“Maybe I should shower first handsome?”

Though I know she won’t.

“NP, it makes no diff to me”

She is wonderful,

Beautiful, gorgeous

And stunning

But

I could never bring

Myself to touch or enter

Let alone bring my face

Close enough to

Taste the aroma

Of her Floyd Mayweather

It’s his show

I think to myself.

“Sure Hun, whatever you like”

And my stomach heaves

Just a little

As I book him in

For an hour.

We are both whores

Her and I,

As we all can be,

Though she is

More honest about it.

Nor will I take the money,

Unlike the driver or

The weasel eyed man

In the lobby behind

The reception desk,

She will offer for

My time

And small effort.

I can not

Will not

Profit

From her sale of flesh

And the small pieces

Of soul

She loses each time.

Perhaps I am as big a fool

As “Mr. DATY”

On the other end

Of the telephone line

That drifts in the Cloud.

The other problem by criminalizing sex trade workers is that it causes them to be marginalized and easier to be ignored by the other classes of society and the law. No little girl grows up thinking, “One day I will sell my body to be used for sex”. I don’t recall meeting any women who willingly chose prostitution. Drug addiction is a factor and I think too heavily emphasized by most people. That “High Risk Lifestyle” comes along with a lot more baggage than drug addiction alone. I would even go as far to say that drug addiction is more a result of the trade than a driving force behind it.

Healthcare problems abound in the sex trade and its workers. Not just physical health problems which are numerous. Sexually Transmitted Diseases, injury from violent rapes, unwanted pregnancies are merely the tip of the iceberg for many prostitutes. Most of these girls have been sexually traumatized by someone or worse by somebodies.

I wonder how most clients would feel about their excursions of fleshly pleasure if they knew that some of these girls, consciously or not, relive their trauma during their work. Sometimes the act of sex for sale is even a coping mechanism. In such cases, though they may emotionally be reliving trauma but at least this time they feel control over the situation. This can lead to an addiction to prostitution as way of coping. Drugs of course, “numb” the emotional pain but then the “need” for drugs follows and the cycle becomes endless. Drugs numb the pain of prostitution; prostitution pays for the need for drugs.

The classification by the law and society as criminals means many prostitutes do not search out any form of psychiatric help.

Prostitution in these cases is just another escape, a way to run from the pain and trauma that affects their lives. Running that never stops, no matter how tired they become. Such were the thoughts that came to my mind when a young lady (who wrote me one of my earliest pieces of fan mail) gave me a suggestion for the final poem I will share with you on the subject. “Write a poem about a girl on the run from the law” she asked me.

I knew she had left the city, in fact the province for this reason. I never asked what her crime was and really didn’t care. It was the least I could do for a so called “fellow-criminal” who was “on the run”. A person who because of the world around her was following her own laws not society’s. I have lost touch with her since but I hope she has stopped running. I truly wish, with all my heart, she has found a life were she is safe, loved, respected and contributes to the world around her. Sadly, this is a bigger wish than most people realize

THE LAW of SURVIVAL

Her last home was nowhere, her next she’ll know on arrival.

She breaks all of the laws but her own – The Law of Survival.

Her name changes at will with all the people she meets,

She’ll fit in quite fine, we’re all the same on the streets

She out runs the Law and her exs, sometimes it got tough.

Boyfriends or the cops, they have all treated her rough.

And she’s left behind messes, some large, some small.

Its the only trail left behind her, if you see one at all.

Sometimes she imagines a different life when she awakes.

So she trades her soul to end pain, if that’s what it takes.

She thinks she’s ageing too quickly, more Mrs. than Ms.

But its too late for her to stop now, where ever this is.

She’s not waiting for death, she’s just out running life.

That’s how you move faster than chaos and strife.

Perhaps she’ll see different one day, follow a new Bible,

But ‘til then she follows one law – The Law of Survival.

 

(All material above copyright Dave Dutton-Fraser, Feb, 2018) Dave Dutton-Fraser

(This article was originally published in The Writer’s Newsletter, 2018)

Meditation Helps Sex, Appreciating the Nude Male Body,

Want to learn more about Orgasmic Sex? Here are a few links to articles that can help…

How To Use Meditation To Improve Your Sex Life – mindbodygreen

A Love Letter to Naked Men: No More Double Standards – Appreciating the Nude Male Body

12 Crazy Amazing Facts About The Clitoris | HuffPost

Six Key Ways to Just Follow the Energy, Baby

“Follow the energy” is way common new-age advice that especially applies to Orgasmic Sex.

The first time I got this guidance was from a gorgeous nude woman at a naturist social gathering at my house. Back then I was so militant a nudist that I used to answer the door naked. Well, at least to my naturist friends. Later when I sat down to flirt with her, all she would reply was “It’s all about the energy, baby.” Since that was as close as I ever got to hooking up with her, I made a point of exploring her advice.

That was one of the reasons I started studying Tantra. Well, that and also because a new woman I was hot for was studying to be a Tantra teacher. I didn’t want to disappoint her even though I didn’t know at the time that we would be married not long after. We’ve been together and practicing Orgasmic Sex for 21 years now.

Tantra is an ancient eastern spiritual practice that utilizes lifeforce energy to raise consciousness. Since we’re so hung up about sex in the modern world, there’s lots of suppressed sexual energy waiting to be released. And enjoyed. As a result, most people new to the philosophy equate Tantra with Tantric Sex.

But it’s actually more about raising your awareness of yourself, your soul, your body, and your sensations. The way you experience all those things is through lifeforce energy.

I suppose it would help to define energy for those of you who find this sometimes vague term too vague to translate into the bedroom. Our latest book, Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex (to be published by Llewellyn Worldwide spring 2019), defines sexual energy this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations. Also known as Orgasmic Energy and Kundalini. 

Now, there are a lot of forms of this bioenergy. When it’s pulsing in your heart, you feel it as love. When it’s buzzing in your third eye behind your forehead, your wisdom and intuition are sharpened. When you’re receiving a massage, it’s undoubtedly invigorating your whole nervous system. In fact, there are seven primary forms of lifeforce energy which is why Tantrics study the chakras, the seven energy centers arrayed along the spine from the pelvic floor to the crown of the head.

Horny lovers are often driven by lust which stems from the urge to propagate the species at the first chakra. When you rip each other’s clothes off and hump your way to a quick explosive release, no doubt you’re following that kind of energy. But when we talk about Orgasmic Sex, we’re referring to generating and exchanging energy at multiple chakras. All-chakra lovemaking undoubtedly creates the most ecstatic pleasure.

With all that in mind, let’s look at the six main ways to follow the energy, baby.

Search for Sweet Spots

I call erogenous zones sweet spots. Those are places on or inside your body that erupt with sensation when touched or stimulated. Rubbing or poking a sweet spot causes sexual energy to stream out and shower the body with pleasure. In Orgasmic Sex we target 43 distinct sweet spots, 18 in the male body and 25 in the female one. Hopefully you’re familiar with one of a woman’s most powerful ones, the clio (clitoris). Actually though a woman’s clio has seven different sweet spots: hood, pearl, shaft, two legs, and two bulbs. There’s also five distinct sweet spots on the head of a man’s vajra (penis) alone. 

The first way to follow the energy is to wander around and play with different sweet spots to find out what feels good right now.

Keep Doing What Causes a Reaction

Sometimes we get so caught up in how good it feels that we forget our partner. You won’t know what your playmate is enjoying if you don’t pay attention. Body language provides clearcut communication if your honey lets their passion show. And if you monitor his or her skin color, breath, body motions, and sounds.

When you notice what’s causing turn-on, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that you should keep doing it. The energy is telling you where to concentrate.

Move Your Focus

Sexual stimulation is a moving target. Say you’re licking something for a while and the reaction subsides. You’re not doing anything wrong. That’s just how bodies are. Excitement comes and goes. So you need to move your focus.

Sure, sometimes your sucking or stroking is so right on that you can make your baby climb all the way to orgasm. But even then, if you want to make Orgasmic Sex last as long as you can like we do, you might want to switch to other sweet spots.

When the sensitivity decreases in one zone and increases in another, follow it.

Let It Spread

Energy pooled in one place can stream out and settle in another. We really love it when kundalini spreads, excites other sweet spots, and ultimately fills our whole body. Then you have two or more erogenous zones generating turn-on in your body. Letting it flow where it will is the path to blended full-body orgasms. So when your excitement grows, follow it.

Reach Out Psychically

I think great lovers listen to their intuition. When I first started practicing Tantra, brief visions of erotic moves would flash through my mind. Like changing positions. Or pulling out and going down for a taste of oral sex. But at first I didn’t notice these fleeting images.

When I got more experience and confidence, I realized that these inspirations were subtle kundalini talking to me. So I started to heed them. Which makes me a much more unpredictable lover now. Fortunately, my lovers seem to get off on me changing things up. At least until they’re ready for me to help them over the top.

I call this skill whimsy and it’s a key practice in our latest book. So to follow the energy, let your whims lead you. Now you might ask if it’s your energy or you sweetie’s that’s calling to you? Could be one, or the other, or both. But really who cares as long as you’re keep each other’s body guessing and having lots of fun.

Share the Energy

You can enjoy sexual energy in the above ways just by playing with yourself. In Tantra we definitely celebrate self-pleasuring.

But there is a final key when making love with another energy-aware person. When you’re both following the energy, it can arc between you. A sweet spot in each of your bodies can hook up and create a passion circuit.  Any chakra that’s open, charged, and firing can link up with your playmate’s.

Which is why touching, kissing, and looking into each other’s eyes while your jewels (genitals) are coupling is so much sweeter. In fact, that allows you to open multiple passion circuits at once. Then the kundalini can cycle in and out between you in energy circles.

When the passion starts leaping back and forth, isn’t that something you love to follow?

# # #

There you have it: six ways to just follow the energy, baby…

  • Search for sweet spots
  • Keep doing what causes a reaction
  • Move your focus
  • Let it spread
  • Reach out psychically
  • Share the energy.

After making love this way thousands of times in our over twenty years together, Orgasmic Sex never gets old, stale, or boring.

But maybe you’ve got some other tricks to follow the energy and keep things fresh. Please comment below or shoot me an email here. I’d love to learn what turns you on.

 

Love, Somraj