Tantra Heals, The Orgasm Gap, Female Ejaculation Links

Here are some interesting articles that can help you understand Orgasmic Sex…

5 Ways Tantra Can Heal Our Society – Collective Evolution

The Orgasm Gap: Why Some People Orgasm More Than Others & Why Orgasms Are So Misunderstood – Collective Evolution

What exactly is Female Ejaculation? | elephant journal

 

Love, Somraj

http://tantraattahoe.com/blog

The Top 10 Myths About Tantric Sex You Shouldn’t Believe

By Somraj Pokras of TantraAtTahoe.com

(This article was originally published in October 2015 in Consumer Health Digest.)

A young woman in a new relationship recently asked, “We’ve been together for a month and our sex life is good. But now my boyfriend wants us to try Tantric Sex. OMG, what kind of kinky stuff have I gotten myself into?”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the sea of myths about Tantric Sex. Of all the modern new age practices people are diving into these days, Tantra may be one of the most misunderstood. Sting’s 8-hour sex claim on The Oprah Winfrey Show didn’t help. Neither do all the closed-minded men in my public events who vehemently denounce the whole idea of giving up ejaculating.

The truth is that Tantra is a thousands-of-years old spiritual practice — mind you, not a sexual practice — from India. It’s about raising consciousness and connecting up the mind, body, and spirit. And that’s all done by becoming more intimate with your own lifeforce energy, much of which is sexual for most people. When you do, you certainly heighten your sensations along with your sense of who you really are.

Sure, when you meditate more, feel more, and communicate more, your sex life can improve drastically. But I wouldn’t suggest pressuring your partner to try it until you get clear on what it is and what it isn’t.

To help, here is my list of the top ten myths about Tantric Sex. Don’t blindly accept them without looking into the real stories which follow.

Myth #1: Tantric Sex Means Wild Orgies

If wild orgies are what you’re looking for, then, sorry, practicing Tantra won’t guarantee you’ll find yourself in a threesome, foursome, or moresome any time soon. From its inception, Tantra was more about the solo practice of individuals reaching for enlightenment.

A key element of that journey is finding yourself, calming your mind, and getting fully into your body. Most of us have been so deeply programmed with inhibitions about feeling good that this is often an arduous process. Which is why practicing pleasure is a spiritual practice in Tantra.

When two partners make progress on that path, their relationship grows and evolves. For those partners who were raised with sex-negative puritanical beliefs, often the most resounding impact is on their sex lives.

Enter Tantric Sex, a heartfelt ritualistic way of physically bonding. Couples who practice Tantric Sex find the amount of pleasure they create and share expands dramatically.

In other words, in spite of the fact that I’ve been to quite a few deemed sacred ceremonies, wild sex parties aren’t automatically included. Now it’s true that couples who’ve dedicated themselves to more pleasure are more likely to dabble in open relationships like swinging and polyamory than those with the average boring sex life. But it’s not an integral part of Tantric practice.

Well, except for one thing. There are some little-known ancient Tantric manuscripts that describe group sex rituals in vague terms. But what little we know of these underground gatherings is that they were only attended by highly-trained adepts and focused on merging with the divine.

Myth #2: Tantric Sex Is Just A Front For Sex-Workers’ Services

If you take the above sentiments seriously, then clearly Tantric Sex is much more than a hooker’s scam. But without a doubt you can find a bevy of Tantric Goddesses in every major city today. Often they offer sensual sessions of Tantric massage.

Are they just prostitutes in colorfully flowing sheep’s clothing?

I’m sure there are some around. But for the most part, in my experience, no.

I am friends (and more) with quite a few Tantric “dakinis” as they’re called.  That’s the Sanskrit word for celestial helping spirits. They sincerely believe they are helping men transform their lovemaking into something more sacred. Many do hands-on sessions that teach men to satisfy women and avoid premature ejaculation. And there are male “dakas” who help women embrace their sexuality, too.

Are you aware of the well-established research on the orgasm gap? Many studies have shown how much more frequently men come than their female partners. The same isn’t true, by the way, of same-sex couples.

Ask any woman how sensitive, knowledgeable, and respectful many of her past lovers were and you’ll be inundated with horror stories of exploitation, abuse, and even violence. That’s a pretty damning evaluation of how successful parents and schools are with sex education.

While I’m sure there are many district attorneys who would disagree with my opinions, just maybe these Tantric sex workers are actually performing a valuable service to the current and future partners of these men.

Myth #3: Tantric Sex Is All About Sex

Because it concentrates on maximizing sexual energy, Tantric Sex doesn’t require any physical contact. Those dakinis offering Tantric massage might only use their hands while fully clothed.

Tantra is about raising consciousness. Consequently, Tantric Sex is more about intimacy, communication, and divine connection. It’s performed in a “sacred space,” a room that’s intentionally beautified to arouse all the senses. We use terms of respect like Sweet Everythings instead of Sweet Nothings and “jewels” instead of medical names for the genitals. And its rituals often include meditation, clear negotiation of consent, and reverence for each other’s spirit.

Though that’s far from most people’s definition of rampant sex, may find the bonding highly sexy. Again, by surveying the average woman, you’ll find how powerful these practices can be to awaken her erotic side.

Once into the crucible that these preparations create, the jewel union (our name for sexual intercourse) can be amazingly erotic, hot, and intense.

Myth #4: Tantric Sex Is Slow Sex

I’d have to agree that Tantric Sex is often slower than what you see in a porn flic. It takes time to set up the sacred space, build intimacy, and develop a trusting atmosphere.

When our senses our focused on cultivating and exchanging sexual energy, slower often serves us better. Tantric lovers develop the ability to relax even when highly aroused. That’s especially true when we’re catapulted into one of the altered states that Tantric Sex is known for.

But not always.

My Tantra-teacher wife has taught me how vital variety is for her sexual pleasure. We almost always start slow, waiting for our energy channels to fully open and link. But then we race off to spurts of hard pumping. These are typically sandwiched between moments of stillness where we catch our breath, relish our sensations, and check-in verbally.

So sometimes slow, yes. But sometimes medium and sometimes fast, too. Not to mention the tantalizing breaks using fingers and mouths on each other.

Myth #5: You Can’t Orgasm During Tantric Sex

LOL! That’s a really good one. If you could only see us when we decide to go for it.

Now it’s true that Tantric Sex is a departure from the increasingly instant-gratification-demanding culture that we live in. We cultivate pleasure and want to make it last. So pushing for a quick explosion isn’t our number one priority.

Instead, we aim to amass sexual energy and revel in it, using each other’s highs to springboard each other to even more intense excitement. We call these peaks of pleasure. Gourmet Tantric Sex lovers major in the skill of peaking. Often that looks like edging, coming up to the brink of climax and backing off. More often it resembles dancing on the verge of the cliff right before the point of no return.

Without training and practice, few lovers can withstand the assault of the powerful sensations just before orgasm. So they let go and enjoy the ten-second ride.

Sure, it feels great at the moment. But all too often, especially with men like me who take a long while to recover, ejaculating ends the playtime. It even happens to some women like my wife who are too sensitive after coming to continue without a long break.

But what if you could hover there and prolong that intense excitement?

Tantric Sex is often called Orgasmic Sex because we learn to dance on the verge of that all-consuming black hole. We vibrate, shake, and jackknife from the huge currents of sexual energy coursing up and down our bodies. Just like the classical ten-second physical release, our skin flushes, our nerves fire, our breathing deepens, and our voices raise. But we can make it go on and on.

We call these peaks “Tantric Energy Orgasms.” After a series of them, we’re propelled into a continuous state of ecstasy. And, of course, we have a name for that, too. The O-Zone. O for orgasm, of course.

Myth #6: Quickies Have No Place In Tantric Sex

In the classic movie Love At First Bite, when asked to have a quickie, Count Dracula played by George Hamilton replied, “No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie.”

Now I’m not saying that Dracula was a Tantric master. Well, who really knows? But it must seem after my rousing exposition about longies that quickies have no place in Tantric Sex.

For the most part, you’d be right. But you see, Tantra isn’t a religion with a holy book and lots of dogma. So there are no rules about what you should and shouldn’t do. Which reminds me about our record-setting (short time) “laughgasm.”

Once, against our better judgement, we were separated for a week. That’s a very long time without doing it for us horny rabbits. When reunited, we set up a sacred space in front of the fireplace, began kissing and touching, and couldn’t wait to engage our jewels. Though it was a major challenge, I put it in ever so slowly so we could feel everything. (The slow part was the challenge, not the penetration part.)

But, dammit, she was too turned-on to take it easy. Pulling me tight, she started jerking and bucking violently. Like any supportive partner would, I matched her speed and pumped her hard. When her contractions grabbed me, I ejaculated violently. Fortunately, that made her scream and come, come and scream, and so on.

Just like the old days before Tantra, we lasted only a few strokes.

But the explosion was enormous. The feelings were so intense as the fireworks launched through our bodies that we shrieked at the top of our lungs. The funny part was when our mellow Golden Retriever put his snout right between our faces and bellowed right along with us. It was so funny that our orgasmic moans morphed into howls of laughter. That’s why we call it a laughgasm.

Usually, we make love in rounds with a few moments of stillness between them. They typically last longer than our howling quickie, from ten to thirty minutes. But sometimes they’re so intense that we collapse after a handful of minutes that makes us take a short break.

So I guess you could call those quickies. Maybe we should call our longies a long series of quickies.

Myth #7: Tantric Sex Requires Secret Sexual Techniques

No, that’s not true. There are no secret sexual techniques to do what you’ve just read. Tantric lovers use their eyes, breath, hands, mouths, and jewels like everyone else. Because they’re dedicated to pinnacles of pleasure, they study, talk, and practice more. Which probably makes them more skilled at a whole range of skills like massage, oral, genital, and anal sex. But they’re using the same tools we’ve all been issued with.

Some think that Tantric Sex depends on body-straining sex positions that only practitioners of Yoga can get into. Not true. The only Tantric guidelines about where you put your bodies is that they need to be comfortable so the energy can flow freely.

Those folks are confusing the spiritual sex practices of Tantra with the Kama Sutra. The later was a compilation of sexual and romantic behaviors of upper-class Indians about 1500 years ago. It had little to do with ritual, energy, and spirit.

As a naked Goddess once told me in response to my insistent come-ons at a Tantric workshop, “It’s all about the energy, baby.” It’s fair to say that we employ some tools to heighten arousal and intensify orgasmic sensations. But they’re far from secret. Little-used abilities in the bedroom like relaxing, focusing, breathing, moving, and sounding.

If you choose to practice Tantric Sex, it’s a good bet that your sexual techniques will dramatically improve. But that’s something you will develop as you become more open and more aware of what’s going on inside and out.

Myth #8: Tantric Sex Isn’t Primal or Kinky

Well, it’s true that the aim of sacred sex is NOT to see how kinky you can get. Christian Grey with his domination playroom from Fifty Shades may have made Anastasia come quick and hard, but he wasn’t very Tantric.

I know what it looks like. The whole idea of approaching sex with reverence for the divine presence within each other may sound contrary to cavorting like animals. But that’s only because you’re thinking of sex and spirit as separate. In Tantra, primal instincts and lofty spirituality are different flavors of the same meal.

When torrents of sexual energy are coursing through your jewels during Tantric Sex, you may well growl, flail, and wail like a wild animal. That lifeforce is as sacred as any prayer to a Tantric adept. And soft words and sweet sentiments of joy and appreciation for the sacred forces in all of us may be a huge erotic turn-on.

In Tantra, sex and spirit are one.

So there’s no reason why blowjobs in the park or anal sex in the garage can’t be sacred.

Largely due to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, there is increased interest today in BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism). At first glance it might seem that playing with power and pain could never be Tantric. But think again.

Experienced kinksters are conscious of what they’re doing. They carefully negotiate who’s doing what to whom beforehand. They use failsafes like safewords. They establish “scenes” exactly suited to get the sexual energy of the players flowing big time. When one finally achieves that long-awaited total control over another and the other completely surrenders, barriers and inhibitions can be released in a way otherwise not possible.

Sometimes role-playing really gets our juices flowing. Many of my lovers use fantasies they’ve never told anyone to turn themselves on and push themselves over the edge of orgasm.

Who’s to say what any particular lover needs and wants to free their untapped reservoirs of erotic charge? If it’s dressing up as the Big Bad Wolf and taking Little Red Riding hood in the men’s room of your local dive, go for it.

Myth #9: Tantric Sex Is Only For Women

Over the years, we’ve primarily had two kinds of clients attend our Tantra trainings: women who brought their men to us so their guys could be better lovers, and men who dragged their women to us so they could be more orgasmic.

In other words, it’s all about women’s pleasure. In light of the orgasm gap, that’s certainly needed. So it is true that many of the benefits of Tantric Sex help women become more orgasmic.

In Tantra we recognize that sexual energy is feminine in nature and requires a feminine touch to fully unleash. So does that mean that women should lead when it comes to Tantric Sex?

Well, I do love it when she gets on top and takes charge. Or spreads her legs and shouts, “Give it to me hard, now, daddy!”

But giving women all the power is too simplistic. The Tantric view of genders is that everyone has an inner male and an inner female. Society conditions the majority of people’s values and behaviors to conform to their body type. As a result, most men act strong and women tend toward being supportive.

But as our current gender stereotype revolution demonstrates, everyone has the opportunity to develop both ends of the spectrum. Women love a sweet man who caters to their needs. Men like me love a strong woman who asks for what she wants and directs the action.

And while we’re on the subject of orgasms, men who practice Tantric Sex can enjoy the much wider spectrum of sexual climaxes that most women are capable of. I’m talking of multiple orgasms, blended orgasms, and non-genital orgasms, for example.

Myth #10: Tantric Sex is Magic

Well, you know, there might just be some truth to the mouth that Tantric Sex is magic. But not in the way you’re thinking.

As I’ve said, there are no hidden tools or mystical secrets that you need to achieve all the delights of Orgasmic Sex. This approach is readily available to everyone regardless of gender, age, or lifestyle. Same-sex partners can enjoy it as well as straight, cis heteros whether or not they engage in penetration with or without sex toys.

It’s no secret that few of us learn to use lion’s share of our mental faculties. Or focus on what’s going on in our bodies without distraction. Or master the ability to relax fully and receive pleasure without limit.

It’s no secret that we breathe deeply, moan loudly, and shimmy and shake when we’re coming.

This isn’t magic. And if you practice these natural functions, you can trigger orgasmic fireworks whenever you choose. From the outside, those adept in summoning, circulating, and exchanging sexual energy do look like magicians. But it’s not an arcane spell or special DNA or a magic wand that makes ecstasy happen.

It’s not magic, it’s practice.

To continue my contrarian tendency, I must mention that there is a practice called sex magic that some Tantriks practice. It’s the intentional use of sexual energy to manifest desires in the physical world. But it’s no different than the affirmations and visualizations that many new age folks utilize.

On the other hand, maybe charging your vision with sexual energy is a form of magic. Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

There are the ten myths of Tantric Sex. As you can see, the common misunderstandings cloud some powerful truths. Truths you can use to find you own way in the maze of sex, love, and relationship in the complex modern world. Tantra may have sprung from a culture thousands of miles and thousands of years away, but much of its practices are still beneficial today.

If I’ve set your mind straight, I’m pleased. If I’ve piqued your interest in exploring Tantric Sex, I’m thrilled. If you realize that the journey has to be one of your own making, then we’ve arrived at the same conclusion.

I’d love to receive your questions and comments by email (somraj@tantraattahoe.com) or on my blog (tantraattahoe.com/blog).

May your sex life never be the same.

Love, Somraj

Somraj Pokras is a sexologist and Tantra teacher who’s written 10 Tantric Sex books. You can find hundreds of his free articles on his TantraAtTahoe.com website where you can also subscribe to his Orgasmic Sex Blog. Follow him on Twitter @TantraTahoe and at LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/somrajpokras/.

The Top 10 Myths About Tantric Sex You Shouldn’t Believe

By Somraj Pokras of TantraAtTahoe.com

(This article was originally published in October 2015 in Consumer Health Digest.)

A young woman in a new relationship recently asked, “We’ve been together for a month and our sex life is good. But now my boyfriend wants us to try Tantric Sex. OMG, what kind of kinky stuff have I gotten myself into?”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the sea of myths about Tantric Sex. Of all the modern new age practices people are diving into these days, Tantra may be one of the most misunderstood. Sting’s 8-hour sex claim on The Oprah Winfrey Show didn’t help. Neither do all the closed-minded men in my public events who vehemently denounce the whole idea of giving up ejaculating.

The truth is that Tantra is a thousands-of-years old spiritual practice — mind you, not a sexual practice — from India. It’s about raising consciousness and connecting up the mind, body, and spirit. And that’s all done by becoming more intimate with your own lifeforce energy, much of which is sexual for most people. When you do, you certainly heighten your sensations along with your sense of who you really are.

Sure, when you meditate more, feel more, and communicate more, your sex life can improve drastically. But I wouldn’t suggest pressuring your partner to try it until you get clear on what it is and what it isn’t.

To help, here is my list of the top ten myths about Tantric Sex. Don’t blindly accept them without looking into the real stories which follow.

Myth #1: Tantric Sex Means Wild Orgies

If wild orgies are what you’re looking for, then, sorry, practicing Tantra won’t guarantee you’ll find yourself in a threesome, foursome, or moresome any time soon. From its inception, Tantra was more about the solo practice of individuals reaching for enlightenment.

A key element of that journey is finding yourself, calming your mind, and getting fully into your body. Most of us have been so deeply programmed with inhibitions about feeling good that this is often an arduous process. Which is why practicing pleasure is a spiritual practice in Tantra.

When two partners make progress on that path, their relationship grows and evolves. For those partners who were raised with sex-negative puritanical beliefs, often the most resounding impact is on their sex lives.

Enter Tantric Sex, a heartfelt ritualistic way of physically bonding. Couples who practice Tantric Sex find the amount of pleasure they create and share expands dramatically.

In other words, in spite of the fact that I’ve been to quite a few deemed sacred ceremonies, wild sex parties aren’t automatically included. Now it’s true that couples who’ve dedicated themselves to more pleasure are more likely to dabble in open relationships like swinging and polyamory than those with the average boring sex life. But it’s not an integral part of Tantric practice.

Well, except for one thing. There are some little-known ancient Tantric manuscripts that describe group sex rituals in vague terms. But what little we know of these underground gatherings is that they were only attended by highly-trained adepts and focused on merging with the divine.

Myth #2: Tantric Sex Is Just A Front For Sex-Workers’ Services

If you take the above sentiments seriously, then clearly Tantric Sex is much more than a hooker’s scam. But without a doubt you can find a bevy of Tantric Goddesses in every major city today. Often they offer sensual sessions of Tantric massage.

Are they just prostitutes in colorfully flowing sheep’s clothing?

I’m sure there are some around. But for the most part, in my experience, no.

I am friends (and more) with quite a few Tantric “dakinis” as they’re called.  That’s the Sanskrit word for celestial helping spirits. They sincerely believe they are helping men transform their lovemaking into something more sacred. Many do hands-on sessions that teach men to satisfy women and avoid premature ejaculation. And there are male “dakas” who help women embrace their sexuality, too.

Are you aware of the well-established research on the orgasm gap? Many studies have shown how much more frequently men come than their female partners. The same isn’t true, by the way, of same-sex couples.

Ask any woman how sensitive, knowledgeable, and respectful many of her past lovers were and you’ll be inundated with horror stories of exploitation, abuse, and even violence. That’s a pretty damning evaluation of how successful parents and schools are with sex education.

While I’m sure there are many district attorneys who would disagree with my opinions, just maybe these Tantric sex workers are actually performing a valuable service to the current and future partners of these men.

Myth #3: Tantric Sex Is All About Sex

Because it concentrates on maximizing sexual energy, Tantric Sex doesn’t require any physical contact. Those dakinis offering Tantric massage might only use their hands while fully clothed.

Tantra is about raising consciousness. Consequently, Tantric Sex is more about intimacy, communication, and divine connection. It’s performed in a “sacred space,” a room that’s intentionally beautified to arouse all the senses. We use terms of respect like Sweet Everythings instead of Sweet Nothings and “jewels” instead of medical names for the genitals. And its rituals often include meditation, clear negotiation of consent, and reverence for each other’s spirit.

Though that’s far from most people’s definition of rampant sex, may find the bonding highly sexy. Again, by surveying the average woman, you’ll find how powerful these practices can be to awaken her erotic side.

Once into the crucible that these preparations create, the jewel union (our name for sexual intercourse) can be amazingly erotic, hot, and intense.

Myth #4: Tantric Sex Is Slow Sex

I’d have to agree that Tantric Sex is often slower than what you see in a porn flic. It takes time to set up the sacred space, build intimacy, and develop a trusting atmosphere.

When our senses our focused on cultivating and exchanging sexual energy, slower often serves us better. Tantric lovers develop the ability to relax even when highly aroused. That’s especially true when we’re catapulted into one of the altered states that Tantric Sex is known for.

But not always.

My Tantra-teacher wife has taught me how vital variety is for her sexual pleasure. We almost always start slow, waiting for our energy channels to fully open and link. But then we race off to spurts of hard pumping. These are typically sandwiched between moments of stillness where we catch our breath, relish our sensations, and check-in verbally.

So sometimes slow, yes. But sometimes medium and sometimes fast, too. Not to mention the tantalizing breaks using fingers and mouths on each other.

Myth #5: You Can’t Orgasm During Tantric Sex

LOL! That’s a really good one. If you could only see us when we decide to go for it.

Now it’s true that Tantric Sex is a departure from the increasingly instant-gratification-demanding culture that we live in. We cultivate pleasure and want to make it last. So pushing for a quick explosion isn’t our number one priority.

Instead, we aim to amass sexual energy and revel in it, using each other’s highs to springboard each other to even more intense excitement. We call these peaks of pleasure. Gourmet Tantric Sex lovers major in the skill of peaking. Often that looks like edging, coming up to the brink of climax and backing off. More often it resembles dancing on the verge of the cliff right before the point of no return.

Without training and practice, few lovers can withstand the assault of the powerful sensations just before orgasm. So they let go and enjoy the ten-second ride.

Sure, it feels great at the moment. But all too often, especially with men like me who take a long while to recover, ejaculating ends the playtime. It even happens to some women like my wife who are too sensitive after coming to continue without a long break.

But what if you could hover there and prolong that intense excitement?

Tantric Sex is often called Orgasmic Sex because we learn to dance on the verge of that all-consuming black hole. We vibrate, shake, and jackknife from the huge currents of sexual energy coursing up and down our bodies. Just like the classical ten-second physical release, our skin flushes, our nerves fire, our breathing deepens, and our voices raise. But we can make it go on and on.

We call these peaks “Tantric Energy Orgasms.” After a series of them, we’re propelled into a continuous state of ecstasy. And, of course, we have a name for that, too. The O-Zone. O for orgasm, of course.

Myth #6: Quickies Have No Place In Tantric Sex

In the classic movie Love At First Bite, when asked to have a quickie, Count Dracula played by George Hamilton replied, “No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie.”

Now I’m not saying that Dracula was a Tantric master. Well, who really knows? But it must seem after my rousing exposition about longies that quickies have no place in Tantric Sex.

For the most part, you’d be right. But you see, Tantra isn’t a religion with a holy book and lots of dogma. So there are no rules about what you should and shouldn’t do. Which reminds me about our record-setting (short time) “laughgasm.”

Once, against our better judgement, we were separated for a week. That’s a very long time without doing it for us horny rabbits. When reunited, we set up a sacred space in front of the fireplace, began kissing and touching, and couldn’t wait to engage our jewels. Though it was a major challenge, I put it in ever so slowly so we could feel everything. (The slow part was the challenge, not the penetration part.)

But, dammit, she was too turned-on to take it easy. Pulling me tight, she started jerking and bucking violently. Like any supportive partner would, I matched her speed and pumped her hard. When her contractions grabbed me, I ejaculated violently. Fortunately, that made her scream and come, come and scream, and so on.

Just like the old days before Tantra, we lasted only a few strokes.

But the explosion was enormous. The feelings were so intense as the fireworks launched through our bodies that we shrieked at the top of our lungs. The funny part was when our mellow Golden Retriever put his snout right between our faces and bellowed right along with us. It was so funny that our orgasmic moans morphed into howls of laughter. That’s why we call it a laughgasm.

Usually, we make love in rounds with a few moments of stillness between them. They typically last longer than our howling quickie, from ten to thirty minutes. But sometimes they’re so intense that we collapse after a handful of minutes that makes us take a short break.

So I guess you could call those quickies. Maybe we should call our longies a long series of quickies.

Myth #7: Tantric Sex Requires Secret Sexual Techniques

No, that’s not true. There are no secret sexual techniques to do what you’ve just read. Tantric lovers use their eyes, breath, hands, mouths, and jewels like everyone else. Because they’re dedicated to pinnacles of pleasure, they study, talk, and practice more. Which probably makes them more skilled at a whole range of skills like massage, oral, genital, and anal sex. But they’re using the same tools we’ve all been issued with.

Some think that Tantric Sex depends on body-straining sex positions that only practitioners of Yoga can get into. Not true. The only Tantric guidelines about where you put your bodies is that they need to be comfortable so the energy can flow freely.

Those folks are confusing the spiritual sex practices of Tantra with the Kama Sutra. The later was a compilation of sexual and romantic behaviors of upper-class Indians about 1500 years ago. It had little to do with ritual, energy, and spirit.

As a naked Goddess once told me in response to my insistent come-ons at a Tantric workshop, “It’s all about the energy, baby.” It’s fair to say that we employ some tools to heighten arousal and intensify orgasmic sensations. But they’re far from secret. Little-used abilities in the bedroom like relaxing, focusing, breathing, moving, and sounding.

If you choose to practice Tantric Sex, it’s a good bet that your sexual techniques will dramatically improve. But that’s something you will develop as you become more open and more aware of what’s going on inside and out.

Myth #8: Tantric Sex Isn’t Primal or Kinky

Well, it’s true that the aim of sacred sex is NOT to see how kinky you can get. Christian Grey with his domination playroom from Fifty Shades may have made Anastasia come quick and hard, but he wasn’t very Tantric.

I know what it looks like. The whole idea of approaching sex with reverence for the divine presence within each other may sound contrary to cavorting like animals. But that’s only because you’re thinking of sex and spirit as separate. In Tantra, primal instincts and lofty spirituality are different flavors of the same meal.

When torrents of sexual energy are coursing through your jewels during Tantric Sex, you may well growl, flail, and wail like a wild animal. That lifeforce is as sacred as any prayer to a Tantric adept. And soft words and sweet sentiments of joy and appreciation for the sacred forces in all of us may be a huge erotic turn-on.

In Tantra, sex and spirit are one.

So there’s no reason why blowjobs in the park or anal sex in the garage can’t be sacred.

Largely due to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, there is increased interest today in BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism). At first glance it might seem that playing with power and pain could never be Tantric. But think again.

Experienced kinksters are conscious of what they’re doing. They carefully negotiate who’s doing what to whom beforehand. They use failsafes like safewords. They establish “scenes” exactly suited to get the sexual energy of the players flowing big time. When one finally achieves that long-awaited total control over another and the other completely surrenders, barriers and inhibitions can be released in a way otherwise not possible.

Sometimes role-playing really gets our juices flowing. Many of my lovers use fantasies they’ve never told anyone to turn themselves on and push themselves over the edge of orgasm.

Who’s to say what any particular lover needs and wants to free their untapped reservoirs of erotic charge? If it’s dressing up as the Big Bad Wolf and taking Little Red Riding hood in the men’s room of your local dive, go for it.

Myth #9: Tantric Sex Is Only For Women

Over the years, we’ve primarily had two kinds of clients attend our Tantra trainings: women who brought their men to us so their guys could be better lovers, and men who dragged their women to us so they could be more orgasmic.

In other words, it’s all about women’s pleasure. In light of the orgasm gap, that’s certainly needed. So it is true that many of the benefits of Tantric Sex help women become more orgasmic.

In Tantra we recognize that sexual energy is feminine in nature and requires a feminine touch to fully unleash. So does that mean that women should lead when it comes to Tantric Sex?

Well, I do love it when she gets on top and takes charge. Or spreads her legs and shouts, “Give it to me hard, now, daddy!”

But giving women all the power is too simplistic. The Tantric view of genders is that everyone has an inner male and an inner female. Society conditions the majority of people’s values and behaviors to conform to their body type. As a result, most men act strong and women tend toward being supportive.

But as our current gender stereotype revolution demonstrates, everyone has the opportunity to develop both ends of the spectrum. Women love a sweet man who caters to their needs. Men like me love a strong woman who asks for what she wants and directs the action.

And while we’re on the subject of orgasms, men who practice Tantric Sex can enjoy the much wider spectrum of sexual climaxes that most women are capable of. I’m talking of multiple orgasms, blended orgasms, and non-genital orgasms, for example.

Myth #10: Tantric Sex is Magic

Well, you know, there might just be some truth to the mouth that Tantric Sex is magic. But not in the way you’re thinking.

As I’ve said, there are no hidden tools or mystical secrets that you need to achieve all the delights of Orgasmic Sex. This approach is readily available to everyone regardless of gender, age, or lifestyle. Same-sex partners can enjoy it as well as straight, cis heteros whether or not they engage in penetration with or without sex toys.

It’s no secret that few of us learn to use lion’s share of our mental faculties. Or focus on what’s going on in our bodies without distraction. Or master the ability to relax fully and receive pleasure without limit.

It’s no secret that we breathe deeply, moan loudly, and shimmy and shake when we’re coming.

This isn’t magic. And if you practice these natural functions, you can trigger orgasmic fireworks whenever you choose. From the outside, those adept in summoning, circulating, and exchanging sexual energy do look like magicians. But it’s not an arcane spell or special DNA or a magic wand that makes ecstasy happen.

It’s not magic, it’s practice.

To continue my contrarian tendency, I must mention that there is a practice called sex magic that some Tantriks practice. It’s the intentional use of sexual energy to manifest desires in the physical world. But it’s no different than the affirmations and visualizations that many new age folks utilize.

On the other hand, maybe charging your vision with sexual energy is a form of magic. Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

There are the ten myths of Tantric Sex. As you can see, the common misunderstandings cloud some powerful truths. Truths you can use to find you own way in the maze of sex, love, and relationship in the complex modern world. Tantra may have sprung from a culture thousands of miles and thousands of years away, but much of its practices are still beneficial today.

If I’ve set your mind straight, I’m pleased. If I’ve piqued your interest in exploring Tantric Sex, I’m thrilled. If you realize that the journey has to be one of your own making, then we’ve arrived at the same conclusion.

I’d love to receive your questions and comments by email (somraj@tantraattahoe.com) or on my blog (tantraattahoe.com/blog).

May your sex life never be the same.

Love, Somraj

Somraj Pokras is a sexologist and Tantra teacher who’s written 10 Tantric Sex books. You can find hundreds of his free articles on his TantraAtTahoe.com website where you can also subscribe to his Orgasmic Sex Blog. Follow him on Twitter @TantraTahoe and at LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/somrajpokras/.

Sacred Love, Blended Orgasm, Tantric Sex

Here are some interesting articles…

Sacred Love: Practices to Empower your True Nature. | elephant journal

Here’s a great into to a supercharged kind of climax.  But there’s a lot more opportunities than mentioned…

What Is A Blended Orgasm, And How Can I Have One?

10 Steps I Wish someone had Told me About Tantric Sex 20 Years Ago. | elephant journal

Tantra Newsletter: 13 Sex Myths – Part 2

Let Go of Your False Beliefs to Make Your Sex Life More Orgasmic

Our last article introduced the first six of the sex myths that too many lovers believe. And, as a result, limit their pleasure and enjoyment of orgasmic sex. Here are the other seven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #286 published 8/25/2017

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees 

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.

Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.

                       Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7. Sex Myth: You Shouldn’t Masturbate If You’re In Relationship

Self-love has a bad rap in general. But even if you accept that it’s OK to play with your jewels while single, you might not believe that pleasuring yourself is a good thing while coupled. It can be. What if you’re apart for too long as measured by your body asking for pleasure or relief? What if a guy needs to relieve some pressure so he can last longer with his partner? What if he falls asleep and you’re not done? What if there are some things you’d like your partner to try on you that are best shared by watching? And let’s not forget that it’s way hot to watch your loved one get themselves off in front of you. We don’t need any restrictive rules about what kinds of sex are OK. As long as it’s consensual and feels good, go for it no matter what those critical voices are whispering in your head.

8. Sex Myth: One Partner Can Do It All For You

Though I’m a stout advocate that we can all get better at sex with communication and experimentation, there are limits. And I’m not just referring to penis size. She can strengthen her yoni muscles and he can shift to tighter positions. Some of us just like different things. For example, my ex hated slurpy deep-tongue kissing so we never did that. My current honey once had a lover with a much thinner dick than mine that could prod deeper crevices that are hard for me to reach. Some can’t get enough of anal sex or bondage while their partners can’t stand it. Some of these differences can be satisfied through self-pleasuring and sex toys. For others, many resort to opening their relationship to outside play. I’m not saying monogamy isn’t a healthy preference for those who get enough that way. Just, there are multiple alternatives when the only one isn’t everything.

9. Sex Myth: A Good Lover Knows Instinctively How to Bring You Maximum Pleasure

Because I’ve studied a lot, had lots of lovers, and pay attention to what my playmates like, I’ve gotten pretty good at satisfying my partners. Confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac to many. But even though I may be a bit more psychic than the average untrained lover, I never assume that I know what will get my partner off. With all playmates, but especially new ones, I pay a lot of attention to their reactions. I flick this, diddle that, rub here, and stroke there until I get positive response. I see myself as more of a trekker looking for the best trail rather than a Nobel Prize winning expert.

10. Sex Myth: Don’t Initiate Sex Unless You’re Turned-On First

Sex is undeniably much better if you’re turned-on first. In fact, in can be difficult or even painful if you’re not. But do you have to be hard or wet before you let your partner know you’re interested? No, I think not. When I was younger it didn’t take much to generate that schwing reaction in my pants. As we age, our decreasing hormones don’t prompt such instant or strong physical responses. Yet I know that I love sex and want it with my beloved. So sometimes we decide to turn each other on and see what happens. A wild romp is often the result.

11. Sex Myth: If He Lasts Long Enough She’ll Come

Studies have shown that women take 20 to 40 minutes to orgasm. Add to that the fact that the average length of intercourse is around 5 minutes, and you might assume lasting longer is enough. Well, sure, he has to last longer than 5 minutes for most women. But the old in-and-out isn’t enough for everyone. As mentioned above, clio stimulation is essential for around 70% of women. The conclusion: learn how to make sex last longer and add in stimulating other erogenous zones.

12. Sex Myth: Sometimes No Means Yes

For those of us raised in a sex-negative culture like the good old USA in decades past, girls were taught from an early age to say no. Even if they wanted it. In other words, we’ve been programmed for the young knight to be the irresistible aggressor and the damsel in distress to give in without taking any responsibility. What bullshit! The truth is that sex is great and we all want it. We just need to approach it maturely, consciously, and lovingly. For the best in orgasmic sex, we insist that all lovers take total responsibility for their own pleasure. Every player in the game needs to offer enthusiastic consent. So a no means no. As well, a lukewarm half-hearted yes means not now and maybe not ever.

13. Sex Myth: Guys Want Sex and Gals Want Love

From one perspective, this myth is true. Men do want sex and women do want love. On the other hand, gals want sex and guys want love, too. Let’s not oversimplify the dance of the sexes. Why can’t we all have it all?

 

We can rearrange our thinking away from these false beliefs by adopting one simple guideline: if it feels good, go for it.

That requires that it’s got to feel good to everyone involved. Which includes understanding your own sexual anatomy, what your partners’ bodies respond to, and how you’re all feeling in each moment. So communicate about sex more, experiment, pay attention, and do more of what makes your orgasmic energy rise.

And throw out anybody else’s idea of the right way to do it. Including mine.

Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

           Welcome Instructions          Read/Comment         Post/Log-In                     

Recents posts…

Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)

Down With Mental Pollution

Do Orgasms Knit Energy?

One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK

The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.

Click here to download it right now…

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

*********************************************************************************

SUMMARY STUFF

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Tantra Newsletter: 13 Sex Myths

Let Go of Your False Beliefs to Make Your Sex Life More Orgasmic

Few of us learn enough about sex to reach our orgasmic potential. Too many women don’t orgasm easily, frequently, or at all. Too many men don’t know how to last long enough to give their partners complete satisfaction. In fact, most lovers don’t come anywhere near reaching the peaks of pleasure easily available to all genders and lifestyles.

We could chalk this dismal state of affairs in bed up to horrendously lacking sex education or sex-negative puritan values passed down the generations. Whatever the cause, many of us end up with false beliefs about sex. By “false” I mean ideas, notions, and practices that just don’t serve the highest good of our sex lives.

False beliefs about sex are the ones that keep us apart, limit our pleasure, and prevent orgasms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #285 published 7/27/2017

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees 

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.

Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.

                       Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These false beliefs have generated some commonly accepted sex myths. You just might find that rethinking these erroneous, inaccurate, and unworkable ideas could awaken your dormant opportunities to enjoy sexual ecstasy.

My sexology practice concentrates of orgasmic sex. That’s not just adult play that ends in better, bigger, and stronger orgasms. Orgasmic sex is all forms of lovemaking that make you continuously feel like you’re having an orgasm. You know that irresistible sensation when you’re hovering on the brink and the explosion is inevitable? Yes, orgasmic sex is feeling those mind-blowing, earth-shattering, body-rocking sensations the whole time for as long as you want. You can get there by tuning in on, amplifying, and channelling sexual energy.

Here are some of the sex myths that can prevent you from getting to a place where you feeling like you’re coming continuously.

1. Sex Myth: Sex Is Intercourse

Sure, intercourse is sex. But sex can be so much more. In fact, studies have shown that only 30% of women can climax through intercourse alone. Experts believe this is because those other 70% need clitoral stimulation to go over the top. Plus, many need  a sense of safety, affection, and respect to completely let go. To change the false belief that sex is only intercourse you might consider adding more fingers, tongues, toys, and fantasies — and words and gestures of love — to your erotic adventures. And if you think handjobs and oral sex are just foreplay, you might want to reconsider. Sometimes they’re the main event. Many lovers, especially women, crave variety. So other times they provide a great break in the action.

2. Sex Myth: Performance Is Paramount

Knowing a lot about your own and your partner’s sexual anatomy is valuable. That, and experience, can help you refine your skills as a lover so you can both enjoy yourselves more. But if devote most of your attention to what you’re doing and how well it’s working, you’ll be in your head instead or in your body where pleasure happens. Orgasmic sex is hottest when both partners take responsibility for maximizing their own turn-on. Then you’ve got the liquid gold of sexual energy in abundance to exchange.

3. Sex Myth: You Should Orgasm Every Time

Exploding with a Big O is undoubtedly one of life’s great joys. But dancing on the verge for an hour is pretty fantastic, too. Guys, especially those whose egos are wrapped up their performance, think sex isn’t very good without an orgasm. They should talk to a lot of women about this. They’ll find so many other sources of pleasure and satisfaction that don’t depend on a world-rattling climax. One of the principles in our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making advises to not make orgasm a goal. That can put too much pressure on both men and women. Instead, let them come to you.

4. Sex Myth: You Have To Come Together

Simultaneous orgasm is a genuine treasure. But it’s not that easy or common. If you force your way to a mutual explosion, you might well miss lots of the fun along the way. You see, orgasmic sex is all about putting your attention on how good it’s feeling, not where you’re going. Even though we make love several times a week, we only come together when the time is right for both of us. That turns out on average to be once a month. Like a special occasion.

5. Sex Myth: Don’t Touch Yourself During Sex

When I was younger I thought a skilled cocksman didn’t need a hand to guide penetration. Maybe that misapprehension came from seeing a bull elephant’s huge organ unerringly navigate into his mate. Do their organs have radar? Now I realize some positions need a Hand Assist for entry. I’ve even turned intermittent finger play into a basic art of lovemaking. Playing with a clio (clitoris), pussy lips, rosetta (anus), and balls, for example, are great add-ons while sliding in and out. In fact, sometimes I break for a moment now and then for some fingering. There are erogenous zones inside a yoni (vagina) to which even the most skilled cocks don’t do justice.

6. Sex Myth: You Don’t Need Sex Toys

A vibrator or dildo is highly useful if you don’t have a playmate at the moment. But adding them into the mix during penetration can vastly expand your erotic sensations. One tenet of orgasmic sex is to stimulate multiple erogenous zones on each other. If your jewels (jewels) are sliding in and out, there’s no reason you can’t add a vibe. This is especially wonderful on a clio at any time. And if you’re not into threesomes, toys provide an easy route to one of porn’s greatest attractions: double penetration. If you want to really go all the way, try a butt plug in her or his rosetta while you’re screwing. Or both.

Sorry, but you’ll have to wait until next month’s Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter for the other seven sex myths. Or you could read them now in our Orgasmic Sex Blog here.

Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

           Welcome Instructions          Read/Comment         Post/Log-In                     

Recents posts…

Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)

Down With Mental Pollution

Do Orgasms Knit Energy?

One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK

The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.

Click here to download it right now…

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

*********************************************************************************

SUMMARY STUFF

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed

The average length of sexual encounters is 5 to 10 minutes. Totally understandable because it’s so exciting. I often get swept away into a blaze of glory, too.

But when someone practices extended energy sex routinely as I do, they enter a totally different zone. By surfing from peak to peak of startling excitement instead of exploding, the whole experience changes. It changes from instant gratification to seeing how high I can make every cell in my body.

Until I dedicated myself to prolonging my pleasure, I barely noticed the currents of sensation streaming throughout my body.

In Tantra we call it sexual energy. My latest book Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines it this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

During my recent self-pleasuring sessions, I’ve been watching the ebbs and flows and movement of sexual energy. While surfing from crest to crest of pleasure peaks, I’ve become more aware of what’s actually happening in my body.

Sexual Electricity

I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle.

When I channel the sexual energy away from my jewels, it feels like electricity running through the rest of my body. 

The more aware of sexual electricity I am, the longer I can make the zenith of pleasure last. You know, that irresistible force right before you come that feels so amazing.

By opening the energy conduits, I can spread the excitement which allows me to go higher for longer than I ever imagined. Feeling like I’m coming continuously. Orgasms that last so much longer than the typical 10-second sneeze. Sometimes minutes or more.

I guess that makes me a sexual electrician.

It’s a job title I’ve long aspired to. And a badge of office I will wear proudly. That’s because it’s sexual electricity that makes sex feel so sensational.

If you’re interested, here’s my first course outline for Sexual Electricity 101. It’s the primer for orgasmic sex leading to full-body orgasm. Hopefully appearing soon at major universities and elementary schools everywhere.

Your Sexual Energy Generator

Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create.

It feels so fucking good that you want more. And want it to last.

But it’s so intense when it’s compressed into the small zone of your groin. So you spread it. The buzzing and sizzling of your tissues widens and expands. This makes more of your body feel sensational.

And without all of your body feeling sensational, full-body orgasm is unlikely.

When I say “sensational,” I don’t just mean super exciting. I mean bubbling and percolating, roiling and boiling, and overflowing with sensation.

That’s what happens when the sexual electricity flows through your organs, muscles, and bones. Your nerves vibrate making your organs quiver, your muscles shiver, and your bones pulse. And the more all of this happens, the stronger the sensations.

So when you consciously open the energy valves, these sensations stream up and down your body. Ever curled your toes while coming? Ever felt your knees quake? Ever felt your legs bouncing off the bed? Well, that’s the energy descending.

Since there’s a lot more of you from the waist up, you need even more rising energy to blow your mind. To make your heart beat faster, your fingertips spark, your eyes roll, and your scalp tingle.

Sexual Electricity Patterns

I find sexual electricity follows certain patterns when it rises through me.

To understand them, let’s review what Thomas Edison discovered. When electrons flow in one direction through a wire from a battery to a light bulb, we call it DC or direct current.

I don’t really know the complete physics of sexual electricity, but to continue my lesson let’s just assume there are sexual elections. Little particles of energy that excite what they land on.

Edison found that more electrons were lost and waisted when DC had to travel longer. So he used AC, alternating current, when the electrons jiggle back and forth without moving too far. If you’ve ever been shocked from an appliance in your home, you’ve felt AC. Your nerves and muscles pulsate intensely without going anywhere. That’s why it’s hard to let go.

When you open the floodgates around your jewels, sexual energy flows out. This electrical current follows nerves and more subtle channels like the ones acupuncturists and Tantric adepts work with.

I can actually feel the prickly sensations in my crotch soften as the current moves up and down. That’s what makes other parts of my body turn-on.

When my channels fill with sexual electricity, it feels like AC current to me. The parts of my body affected quiver and quake with pleasure.

Amps Versus Volts

Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.

Amps measures how much current is flowing. How many sexual electrons have you generated and directed somewhere.

Or to use the analogy of a river, amperage is how much water is flowing. How wide and deep the river is. The bigger the channel, the stronger the sensations spreading to the extremities.

When I only generate a little sexual electricity, I might not even get hard. With more current, I might find my skin tingling a few places. With top output, my whole body shakes and vibrates with heat and magnetism.

It’s as if there’s a conduit of sexual electricity from head to toe pulsing like a guitar string. Or a smaller banjo string. Or a larger bass fiddle string.

Sometimes I can keep that peak flow going for 30 to 60 minutes without stopping. Other less-exciting times it surges for a few seconds or minutes. One of my favorites is when a ball of sexual energy seems to erupt with an expanding blossom of sensation. Like a pleasure grenade exploding in different spots inside.

Sometimes that erotic current reaches my legs, my chest, my neck, my head. I can actually feel the sensations streaming from my groin.

When I can keep the flow going for some minutes, I can sense the sexual elections moving continuously. Other times I feel pulses and surges following my energy channels. From inside they look like streamers of fire that can erupt into fireworks.

We can’t ignore sexual magnetism while we’re at it. Did you know that an electric current creates magnetism? So when you’re flowing sexual energy, it magnetizes your skin, muscles, and bones. This force not only energizes your passion, but also attracts others. Maybe it’s part of the pheromone phenomenon.

Sexual Volts

Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ.

Obviously, most of us need high voltage to reach orgasm. Without enough sexual charge, your chances for full-body orgasm are slim.

When your sexual voltage is high, it pushes the sensations faster and further around your body. That is, as long as there’s enough energy to excite everywhere it touches.

Sexual voltage tends to dissipate unless it’s continuously reinforced. So most of the time when you’re still during sex, your excitement gradually decreases. And the faster you go, the more intense the electrical charge you build .

Confining your sexual electricity in a relatively small space, like your loins, keeps the voltage high. So your sensations are stronger. Spreading it all over tends to lower the excitement.

Now if you can generate enough sexual electricity to fill your whole body at high voltage, you’ll almost levitate with passion.

Sexual Watts

Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms.

You calculate sexual watts — the impact of your experience — by multiplying amps times volts. So the more current you’re generating at higher voltages, the more intense your passion.

Now it’s natural, as you first get turned-on, to push against the erotic current. By tensing up, a skilled sexual electrician is trying to confine the electricity to a smaller space. This increases the voltage so your sensations are more intense. That’s partly why doing pelvic muscle exercises can strengthen your pleasure and orgasms.

But when you tense up while turned-on, you reduce the current flow.

As a sexual electrician’s arousal rises and their loins erupt into a sizzling pot of sexual excitement, they relax and consciously open the valves. The electricity flows out. How turned on they get all over their body depends on how much current and how charged the voltage they’ve generated. The sexual watts — amps times volts — determines how much sensation the rest of their body feels.

Why would you want to fill your whole body with a huge volume of high-voltage sexual electricity?

Why, for full-body orgasms of course. Try it, you’ll like it.

No Doubt There’s More to Come

I hope this primer inspires you to practice managing your sexual electricity.

I’ve called it the 101 entry level course because my intuition suggests there’s lots more to learn. I’m looking forward to my coming practice sessions.

I hope you are, too.

Love, Somraj

How a Foursome Became an Orgy with our Best Friends by Letting Her Be On Top

If You Want the Passion to Be Real, You Can’t Pressure a Lover to Love You

At times some women get off on being taken.

I still remember fondly that cute young thing I met at a party who kept yelling at me, “Fuck me harder!” Frankly, it was a bit intimidating. But I did what I was told and we both had a great time.

Do you get off on walking on the wild side? Do you or your partner like rough sex? Undoubtedly it can be a turn-on to submit to another’s control. Maybe that’s why the slave-master fantasy is popular.

That reminds me of a famous science fiction series I read in the sixties. There were I think a couple dozen volumes in John Norman’s Chronicles of Counter-Earth. The story was set in a planet directly opposite the earth that had a medieval culture. Specifically, women were property and men were warriors. Yet, the women reveled in pleasing their men.

I think the belief that Norman was promoting so creatively was that this is only way the “weaker sex” can ever be sexually fulfilled.

Honestly, I enjoyed the books back then before I’d had any training as a Tantric lover who worships the Goddess in all women. Now I’m appalled at any stories about spousal or sexual violence.

Now I’m not advocating that abuse or rape is a good thing. Rather, I notice that it’s hot for some women at certain times to be restrained, dominated, disciplined, and punished.

Enthusiastic Consent Is Essential

There’s a right and wrong way to do this of course. In the BDSM world (bondage, domination, discipline, submission, sadism, masochism), negotiating consent is essential. So I have no problem with any practices that are discussed, planned, and agreed-upon in detail.

Negotiating consent requires mutual respect for the submissive’s power. If it turns a woman on for her partner to blindfold her, tie her up, and have his way with her, who am I to object. That is, when she clearly asks for it. Or she gave permission for him to do whatever he wants. Of course, wise players always have a safeword if it gets too intense.

Even though I’m an old guy, I guess that makes me a raving feminist. Well, so be it.

But without explicit consent, selfish exploitation amounts to taking advantage of a woman. In practice, this shows up as pressuring a partner to have sex. That might include a demand to give blow jobs, to receive anal sex, or to orgasm and even ejaculate on command.

Though we loved every episode of Fifty Shades of Grey, I winced every time Christian said “Come for me, baby.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love doing these things to a willing playmate. I love doing whatever I’m moved to do with a woman who really wants it. I love her screaming and jackknifing at my slightest touch.

Without a doubt, I really get off on a partner’s sexual pleasure, orgasm, and satisfaction.

Pressure Doesn’t Work

But pressuring a woman to perform on command just doesn’t seem to work for me. In fact, it makes me sick.

Unfortunately, pressure can block some women’s pleasure so much that it becomes abuse. Demanding she put out can block her enjoying it if she doesn’t consent.

We have to recognize that men in our modern world are conditioned to go for the gold, compete against all opponents, and push through obstacles. Yet this kind of conditioning is diametrically opposed to what most women need to blossom orgasmically.

So the question I want to address is how to get a woman to want it.

I spent a lot of years getting rejected and not getting any. And with my rampant libido, “no” was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I did my share of pressuring and demanding and pursuing without much luck. Fortunately, I didn’t take it to the extreme of stalking and the like.

Like any partnered guy, I’ve heard my share of not tonight, I’ve got a headache, and it doesn’t feel good down there. In response, I developed an approach that sometimes pays off.

My No-Pressure Desire Philosophy

I call it No-Pressure Desire. This philosophy basically says, “You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, I want you, I’m here, I’m interested — you pick the time and place.”

Here are some examples of how this works in practice. My wife loves sex more than any female I’ve ever known. And she’s damn good at it.

But she’s easily distracted. That doesn’t mean she’s shy or inhibited. It means the temperature in the room has to be right. The music and lighting have to create the perfect mood. She has to have her favorite glass of wine, and often something more. The dogs have to be OK so she doesn’t worry about them. And, I almost forgot, I have to be at least a little romantic.

I agree an erotic ambience has a strong effect on me, too. But when I’m hot to trot, hey baby, let’s trot. But I’ve learned that I need to heed my No-Pressure Desire policy. Part of that is helping to get each of us and the room ready. Starting without her total readiness never works. Otherwise the series of interruptions seriously bums me out.

The good news is that when everything is right, the passion is boundless.

Our closest girlfriend has many of the same requirements. But with her it’s as much about the mood as the time and place. She’s a dedicated planner-in-advance with a bursting schedule. Being a professional colonic therapist, extensive cleansing inside and out is essential for her comfort. Otherwise she holds her gargantuan libido back. Once she’s in the state of erotic rapture, the sky’s the limit.

Getting Janice to Play Again

I started thinking about all this recently while missing another of our closest lovers. Let’s call her Janice.

Janice has been going though some dramatic personal changes. She’s totally absorbed in building a demanding business which takes its toll on her energy. So after years of wild parties a couple times a month with no holds barred, she backed off. We still saw a lot of her and found our love and relationship growing deeper. But for many months only her husband accepted our invitations to play.

I have to admit to viscerally missing our erotic times together. When Janice and I make love, we blow the roof off. We roll around, vibrate all over, and scream bloody ardor.
But what was I to do?

Pressure her to play, offer her inducements, manipulate the circumstances, take advantage of her sweet loving nature?

Aside from the fact that coercion is not my way, it was clear from the get go that these tactics would backfire. Which brings me to my main point.

What is the nature of woman and how do we as their lovers meet them on as many levels as possible?

In Tantric terms, sexual energy — just one expression of the life force — is feminine. Modern teachers call this the power of the divine feminine. New agers typically refer to it as the Goddess in all women.

If you buy this, then you recognize that we both have to honor the river of life in our female partners. When it’s flowing freely, desire, love, passion, orgasms, and sexual ecstasy are abundant. When it’s blocked or constrained, not so much.

So to apply my No-Pressure Desire philosophy, I gave Janice space. I stayed in touch, asked how she was doing, and respected her choices. I tried to major in empathy and compassion with as little judgment as possible.

After about a year of this, I called her up and said, “I miss you. What do you need to be comfortable enough to enter our play space again?”

She said she still loved me and our hot times together, but was sorting things out and still needed more time. How about the summer still months away when work pressures would be less? Absolutely, I said. I was thrilled to hear we had a future together in spite of the vague commitment.

She Just Showed Up Suddenly

Then all of a sudden she showed up at a threesome we had scheduled with her husband. He and my wife make beautiful loud music together if you catch my drift.

Janice was hesitant at first, cautiously feeling her way. We spent some hours talking and massaging each other which got us all naked. Gradually her hands spent more and more time around my crotch with visible hard results. That’s when I decided to take a chance and asked, “What would you like?”


She didn’t say anything at first. She just pushed me onto my back and climbed on top. Oh, wow, so long in coming. But I didn’t since I was enjoying it so much that I wanted it to last.

Though she was quieter than I remembered, she got wilder and wilder as she rode me. And then started screaming in joy at pleasure peak after peak.

After a while I asked if I could get on top. She looked off into space obviously thinking. But then without a word, she pushed me down again and rode me even harder. We had a couple more rounds later after each spending time with our spouses. When we finally collapsed exhausted hours later, it left me thinking about why I was so lucky. Here’s what I came up with.

I respect the boundless strength that is deep with women. I don’t presume to know what’s best for them. Instead I inquire what they want, accept what they choose, and go with the flow wherever I can.

In modern spiritual terms, I honor however the Goddess shows up in each woman.

Or we could leave out the new-agey stuff and look at it terms of sovereignty. If you love someone, you have to accept them as they are and respect their choices.

With Janice, I had to let her walk her path and support her process. She needed the space and time to find her own truth before committing even tentatively to walking on the wild side again.

Let’s say I instead had used my wisdom and experience to shunt her into a growth path that I thought would ease her stress and encourage her sex drive. If it didn’t work, she would have resented it, creating even more distance. If it did, she might become dependent on my insight to deal with her own decisions. Either way, her innate confidence and power wouldn’t have grown.

Two Powerful Beings Letting Themselves Connect

You see, the kind of love we all embrace is when two powerful beings let themselves connect on all levels. Though I doubt it, I might have gotten Janice to do my bidding. But then we’d be playing the slave-master scenario and likely without full-hearted consent. I probably would have violated her boundaries or at least thrown her far outside her comfort zone. I would become the evil perpetuator not the loving partner.

There’s an old moral to the story from the Orient of what happens when you save someone’s life. They believe that you’re forever responsible for the life you saved. So even if I succeeded in resurrecting Janice, would she really be choosing to love me?

I knew when she chose to climb on top, have her way with me, and shout her passion to the universe, that it was totally real.

It’s all about volition. I want a lover who chooses me with her free will. There’s no way to get to that kind of relationship through pressure. If I trespassed on her boundaries, would she ever trust me again? If I assumed I knew better and usurped her power, would I really be connecting with the real Goddess inside her?

Of course, it certainly helped that my wife encouraged us to have all the fun we could. While she was doing the same thing.

Sometimes I fantasize about a playmate who’s up for spontaneous romping anytime, anywhere. Frankly, that may be a pipe dream. Before it comes true, I’m content to follow my lovers’s lead. And why not? It gets me where I want to go eventually.

Love, Somraj

Guess What I Learned About Myself When I Let My Freak Flag Fly and Played With My Butt

My Solo Anal Play Yielded Profound Personal Growth and Liberating Spiritual Sexual Healing

 

Playing with my butt has been one of the most revealing personal growth experiences I’ve ever had.

Am I saying that anal sex is a spiritual practice? Well, I guess I am. But that depends on how you approach it.

Recognizing that certain sex acts vault me to higher sexual orbits is what prompted this exploration where the sun don’t normally shine. (I wrote about this a couple weeks ago in my blog post entitled “Sexual Energy Orbits: How to Catapult Yourselves up to the Most Sensational Pleasure Zones.”)

Even though I know that personal freedom is an inner journey, I’ve been expanding myself through spiritual sex for nearly twenty years now. It’s taught me more about myself than all talk therapies in the world combined. So how exactly does that work?

Spiritual sex means to be aware of your body, mind, and soul while you accept your sexual desires and act on them fully.

Let’s Get Drunk And Screw

Being a somewhat evolved horny guy, I’m not against the age-old relationship axiom — “Let’s get drunk and screw.” Today that probably shows up more as “Let’s get stoned and make divine love.”

But for me erotic play is so much richer when I’m conscious of everything that’s happening. Then I can steer the action so I get everything I want while I’m attending to my partner’s needs and wants. Often I get new pleasures that I didn’t expect.

My whole life I’ve sought to rid myself of inhibitions. Maybe, like so many other teenagers, that’s an outgrowth of rebelling against my father’s authority. Whatever.

What I found in my recent solo anal play is that I’ve got hangups I didn’t know were limiting my fun.

Me squeamish? Seriously?

I can’t begin to count how many times I believed that I arrived only to find how much more there was to look at. With my unshakable self-image, I was sure I could handle unlimited pleasure. At least until I bumped up against the edge of my comfort zone and found my own limits.

So again and again I dedicated myself to practice until I released “all” resistance. Usually it wasn’t long before I had to pick myself up and realize how much more inner work awaited me.

The Sensible Hygiene Of Anal Play

A case in point is the hygiene of anal play. As my sex life has been expanding in recent years, I’ve welcomed any gentle-at-first penetration back there from lovers I trust. Lovers who are as fun and fastidious as I am.

Damn, I’ve had so much pleasure when they put things in my butt: fingers, toys, and vajras (penises).

But I discovered that I’m reluctant to put my own fingers in my butt.

Really?

Any young woman whose mother taught her not to wipe forward realizes we all want to keep the bacteria from the rosetta (asshole) away from the yoni (vagina). Or either gender’s mouth for that matter.

Such programming was a critical part of my Tantric sexual healing that opened up my backdoor initially. Tight-assed is more than a social slur, it’s a diagnosis of the energy blockages that inhibited lovers and people in general have.

When the issues are in the tissues, especially around the rosetta, they restrict one’s sexual freedom and lots more.

You see, I love to play full out without inhibitions. That’s partly a result of my robust libido. But even more so it stems from the personal growth I’ve done around becoming more sex-positive.

Damn Those Restrictive Inner Rules

So, as I was saying, what I found was that I had all sorts of inner rules about where I could put my hands when playing with myself. When I lube up a sex toy and slide it in my butt, undoubtedly that hand gets contaminated with the kind of germs we don’t want to spread.

My Tantric training, or call it conscious sexuality, included always being alert to what one touches with those dirty digits. That’s wise to avoid later unwanted infections. But when I got an urge to, for example, add my second hand to massage my cockhead, I heard a loud “No!” from my inner critic.

Since I can’t put my vajra in my mouth in my most limber moments, there was no chance of making myself sick. And since this was solo play, there was no chance of infecting my beloved’s yoni. And yet I was unwilling to follow my whims and play with whatever part of my body wanted attention.

That’s where spiritual sex came to the rescue. It’s all about witnessing what’s going on in my body, mind, and soul while I’m reveling in pleasure. Not only was I conscious of what I wanted to do to myself, I was also conscious of what was holding me back.

So I lubed up my second hand and slowly slid it in and out of my rosetta. Wow, was it great! It supercharged the pleasure that my other hand was creating by stroking my vajra.

It felt so good that after a while I got the urge to grab vajra’s head with my dirty hand. Sure enough the injunction was still there. I looked at and decided there was no harm as long as I washed up afterwards.

As a result, for a few minutes I had the most ecstatic two-handed masturbation you can imagine.

Letting My Freak Flag Fly

What I was discovering was that my self-pleasuring habits followed well-worn grooves. These were uninspected patterns that limited what I would let myself enjoy.

I thought I was a devoted disciple of the spirit of David Crosby’s song “Almost Cut My Hair” which advocated letting my freak flag fly.

One of the things all my Tantric sex ebooks advocate is whimsy. That’s recognizing when you’ve got a whim and acting on it. Like you want to switch from the top to the bottom or the reverse while making love. Or pull out and lick the juices from your coupling or swivel around to enjoy some luscious 69. Or play with yourself while you’re going at it.

Honor your whims instantly is the secret to fully letting yourself go. Sexual energy is a continuous river of potential pleasure. Let yourself go with the flow and passion engulfs you.

My inner blockages to my own whims created mental grooves that restricted my sexual freedom. When a whim surfaced, I would ignore it without even considering it. My old worn-out beliefs were blindly blocking my consciousness at decision points.

That’s exactly what happened when I got the urge to use both hands to stroke my cock but one had just been in my rosetta.

When a lover is passionately steaming down the road towards a Big O, they rarely notice what happens at these pleasure crossroads.

Like when the vibrator that I was sitting on which felt great a moment ago stopped generating pleasure. This was a crossroads. The thought occurred to me to lube it up and shove it inside my butt. I was sure I had loosened up enough so that I could take it and love it even more.

But instead of going for it, instead of following my bliss in the moment, my puritan programming blocked it.

We all seek balance in life. I thought I was operating with a good balance between pleasure and cleanliness. But I realized I was a victim of my own overly hygienic fastidiousness.

Now I’m not into deep psychoanalysis that drives me to figure out why I was inhibited. Just witnessing what I’m doing gives me the choice to change. So seeing how I was limiting my options for pleasure allowed me to change my habits.

Different Than a Sudden Flash of Clarity

This didn’t happen like a sudden flash of clarity. It evolved in stages. First, I let my fingers have their way with my rosetta. But at first I was still uncomfortable using that hand for anything else. So I decided it would be OK to play with my balls while my other hand was busy sliding up and down my shaft.

Next I realized there was really no harm in using the contaminated hand on my vajra as well. It wasn’t going anywhere dangerous. So I had fun for a while enjoying some two-handed self-pleasure.

Then I needed more lube. And I shocked myself with the thought that both hands were now dirty and would contaminate the lube bottle. But so what? This was my private stash that stayed by my computer while I was enjoying my carefully curated porn collection.

So I threw caution to the winds and declared my lube “on-limits,” too. That’s the opposite of off-limits if you missed the reference.

These were just a few of the layers peeling off the onion that I went through. It’s still continuing each time I play with myself. But now I’m extra excited when I bump into another internal barrier. I can look at it sensibly and decide if I’m being held back by outmoded restrictions or if there’s no danger in letting my freak flag fly.

In retrospect my story is an isolated example of the kind of sexual healing we all need over and over. Hopefully I’ve inspired you to look at what’s holding you back from what your body, mind, and spirit want. And then go for it.

Enjoy! And I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Love, Somraj