The Joys of Orgasm

If you know anything about Tantra, you’re aware that we focus on making pleasure last. That means we don’t make orgasms our goal. Though when we have them they’re uniquely powerful. That said, I wanted to share a post from Mariah Freya about the joys of orgasm.

Love, Somraj

—  written by Mariah Freya —

I am all about orgasm and how to tap into an ecstatic life.

I am not just doing it for my personal fun and pleasure. Also of course :-), but that’s only half the truth. I am doing it because I support simple human freedom that comes with this kind of work. I believe that liberating orgasm means liberating the very being, which then ripples with the same speed and effect into society. Meaning orgasms can breakthrough all global chains that are keeping love still on a short leash.

Let me remind you again why I am such a raving fan of this state of being:

Orgasm is your life source by human right. It’s that fountain of youth that is telling you to take a sip and heal your whole being from inside out.

Orgasm is that powerful engine in you, helping you manifest the life you desire. Orgasm is your inner drive that makes you go out on the street and march for what you believe in.

Orgasm is the rocket in you that can fly to other galaxies further than just Mars.

Orgasm is not just pleasure; it’s the highway to the divine if you are a curious seeker.

Orgasm is love in it’s rawest energy form, anytime available to make you drunken high and feeling naturally powerful from within (better than any drug out there).

And the awesome thing is: You ain’t gotta do anything for it. Because orgasm is always surrounding you, moving through you.

You just got to tap into the very moment of your human sensual experience, right now.

Feeling your body, smelling the air, tasting the food, kissing your partner, hearing the birds, touching your skin and singing into the sky. Just that.

This week I have an interview for you with the wonderful Dr. Andrea Pennington. She also committed her work as a doctor to improving self-confidence, health & relationships with orgasms. She prescribes orgasm for healing her patients, how awesome is that?! I am a fan.

Listen to our insightful talk here:


With orgasmic love,


Intersecting Erogenous Zones (X-Rated)

The Joy of Rubbing 2 Pleasure Spots Together

Making love last night I realized how hot it was when two of our 28 erogenous zones intersected so well.

Alert: Adult Content

The simple version is that my vajra (Tantric for penis) was rubbing her G-Spot inside her yoni (vagina). And it was way good.

But understanding where all your erogenous zones are and how they interact requires some explanation. It all starts with the right kind of initial entry.

The “right kind” means making sure the woman is thoroughly turned on first. Otherwise barging in hastily doesn’t excite her yoni’s nine inner erogenous zones. The first strokes of a vajra inside a yoni need to be slow, measured, and conscious. In fact, first penetration is so important that we’ve devoted a whole illustrated chapter to it in our new Long Hot Tantric Love Making ebook.

OK, so I entered her this way one inch, then two inches, then more in small steps. A yoni needs time to adjust, expand, and surround a hard visitor. After a few minutes I was thrusting deep but still slowly. This is one of her favorite strokes at any stage, but early on I’ve found it’s important to make sure all her sensitive tissues are awake and reaching for more pleasure.

One of the 17 principles of orgasm that our new ebook is built around deals with variety. Most of the time, women (and some men at certain times) prefer that you change things up. Otherwise their tissues get acclimated to the intense stimulating and stretching that vajra stroking produces. Pleasure spots don’t remain erogenous when they’re numb or even worse uncomfortable.

So as we moved past the cautious stage of initial entry, I began searching for sweets spots and sweet rhythms more aggressively. But I certainly kept varying vajra’s thrusts using the five stroking variables that Long Hot Tantric Love Making illustrate in color.

Because of the relative sizes of our organs, my vajra can prod the three deepest orgasmic triggers inside her yoni. Sure, that takes some creative adjustment of sexual positions and strokes, but her squeals and spasms confirmed that it was worth it. By the way, matching genital sizes and adjusting sex postures is an important element of our new ebook adapted from the Kama Sutra.

Now we can get to the meat of the matter. Last night I found that sometimes some shallower thrusts produced an even stronger reaction. By that I mean her breathing was deeper, her moans were louder, and she was pushing her pelvis towards me to guide the action. Her orgasmic responses alerted me to the fact that something real good was happening.

By paying close attention I realized that these shallower strokes made vajra’s corona tamp and rub her G-Spot. Those are the two erogenous zones that were intersecting. The corona is the ridge around vajra’s head that’s way sensitive.

And her G-Spot, well, that’s a bit more complicated. It’s not actually one well-defined spot like other sex organs like her clitoris or his balls.

Actually what we all call her G-Spot is located in the spongy, erectile tissue that surrounds her urethra, the tube that expels urine from the bladder. It’s erectile because it contains a couple dozen teeny little glands similar to a man’s prostate gland. When treated right the little glands swell and the whole area puffs up. That makes it much more responsive to a vajra’s (or a finger’s or toy’s) ministrations.

That’s what was happening with these shorter shallower sexual strokes. The firm ridge around vajra’s head was poking and massage her swollen G-Spot.

That’s definitely one of our favorite things about penetrative sex. When a real excitable spot on my body is exciting a really sensitive spot on her body. We don’t have to ignore our own pleasure to make sure our playmate is getting what gets them off.

Of course, since there are 28 erogenous zones — 19 around a woman’s genitals and 9 around a man’s — there are so many more intersections to explore. I wish you lots of fun exploring.

And if you want a how-to manual to guide your fun, download a copy of Long Hot Tantric Love Making right now by clicking here

How to Make Sex Less Confusing: The Ten Facets That Define Your Personal Sexual Philosophy – Part 2

The first half of this article appeared in our Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter. Read it here. You can receive future free articles in your email inbox by clicking here.


6. Adventuresomeness

We learned in a Native American sacred sexuality workshop that there are three roles that fully realized sexual beings play: exhibitionist, voyeur, and adventurer. For sure, you need lots of confidence to get off on being nude or more in front of others. But are you adventuresome enough to self-pleasure in front of your partner? Or more publicly at a party or on a web cam?

Does watching others do it turn you on or make you uncomfortable? Clearly, avid porn viewers enjoy voyeurism at some level.

How do you feel about disclosing these behaviors to family, friends, and the world at large? It’s one thing to declare that you’re sex positive, but if you proudly put yourself out there with exhibitionism and voyeurism, you’re doing so much more than just boasting.

The third corner of the three-role triangle defines how complacent versus adventuresome you are about the kind of sex you have. Are you happy with the way your sex life is and don’t want to rock the boat? Or are you committed to realize your full sexual potential? Do you read books, take workshops, and talk to sexually savvy friends or experts so you can experiment?

True sexual explorers develop a robust repertoire to pleasure every available orifice and hungry erogenous zone. And find an acceptable way to enjoy multiple partners.

For many, how adventurous you want to be is central to their sexual philosophy. How would you feel about being called sexless, frigid, or inhibited? Or for that matter, horny, randy, slutty, promiscuous, sex-addicted, or a nymphomaniac? Are these good things or put-downs in your personal lexicon?

7. Satisfying

How satisfied are you with what you consider normal sex? Review your past sex life, what you like about it, and what you’d like to be different.

How openly do you want to be about asking for it? What kinds of erotic invitations most tempt you? Would that include sexting explicit pictures? Would you enjoy an hour of foreplay? What would it include?

What parts of your body do you want to be titillated before, during, or after sex? What are you willing to do with your hands and mouth? What do you want your lover to do with theirs? How to you feel about sex toys before and during intercourse?

Does having sex to you have to include intercourse? If so, how long and what kind? How many positions should it include? Do you want it to include anal penetration?

Tantric lovers don’t rush towards orgasm. We prefer to draw things out, creating more and more pleasure for longer times. How important is quick orgasm instant and gratification for you? Or, for that matter, multiple and simultaneous orgasms?

Is intimate bonding as important or more important than coming to you? Or would you rather go for broke and break records every time you make love?

8. Risks

If you choose to be adventurous, you’d be wise to decide how to manage the risks of unplanned pregnancy, STDs and STIs (sexually transmitted diseases and infections).

Certainly, there are many birth control practices today that are socially acceptable. What form will you use and how will you address your choices with new partners?

With new partners, it’s essential to discuss your sexual histories, past infections, and how you want to avoid health risks. Your openness determines how you will approach what many call the “Pre-Sex Interview.”

Do you require condoms for penetration or even other barriers for manual and oral play? What are your firm boundaries for safer sex and what grey areas are you willing to negotiate about? What kinds of new partners would you be uncomfortable connecting with? There’s much more to talk about before coupling as the following sections suggest.

9. Power

How much responsibility do you want to exercise about what happens in the sack? Or on the floor? Or in the back yard? Or in the park?

Is your best sex when you’re leading? Or do you prefer to be swept off your feet and taken? Would you rather assert what you want, or do you get more turned on when you’re passive? If you’ve been afraid of taking charge, do you want to grow out that?

Would your rather be on the top or the bottom? Aficionados of the BDSM world (bondage, domination, submission, sadism, masochism) generate incredible amounts of excitement by playing with power. Do you prefer dominating, submitting, or switching? Do you get off on being tied up, led around on a leash, spanked, or more?

My preference is the cooperative style of Tantric Love Making where we share power and exchange leading and following. Sometimes one of us calls the shots while the other goes with the flow. But often we alternate who’s giving and who’s receiving.

Being responsible for your own pleasure doesn’t require being aggressive. Skilled receivers learn to direct the action not only with their words but with non-verbal feedback. How willing are you to show your turn-on by moving your body and letting your moans and screams out? I guess that boils down to how passionate you’re willing to be.

10. Kinky

Are you open to kinky play? What’s normal and what’s kinky to you? What are you comfortable with and what freaks you out? Fo example, does talking dirty do anything for you?

This part of your sexual philosophy defines how much satisfaction you derive by stretching your comfort zone. Just a little exploration of the BDSM world online will demonstrate how many options on the wild side there are to experiment with. Many lovers relish playing with pain and humiliation. If the whole idea doesn’t float your cork at first, don’t be so hasty. Like so many things outside the box, you might not appreciate how much excitement you might receive until you dip a toe in the water.

There are as many fetishes that turn people on as there colors in the rainbow. Fascination with shoes, fluids, and unexpected body parts come to mind. Years ago I stayed with a girlfriend whose roommates dragged us to a radio-station’s public fetish party. The guys went shopping for skirts, had their nails painted, and wore makeup. (I drew the line at shaving my beard.) The gals wore outrageously revealing wisps of fabric. It turned out to be good clean titillating fun. Too bad it was before Facebook.

We all have fantasies so you should also consider how you want to deal with them. Do you think it’s healthy in a relationship to share them? We always tell each other our dreams and what we’d like to do with sexy strangers we encounter. But how far do you want to go? Do you want to dress up and play out your fantasies for each other or in public? Would you enjoy strip clubs?

Depending on your relationship values above, you might opt for bar pickups leading to kinky sport sex. Or swing clubs or private parties where you can sample the wares. Are there any orgies in your future?


So where do you fit in each category?

Don’t just blindly accept the cultural norms we’re all immersed in, especially when they do’t serve you. Use the above questions to start an honest and in-depth conversation with yourself. And your long-term partner if you have one.

I don’t intend to pass right or wrong judgments about what you decide. You don’t have to wildly go for it with any of the facets. I just hope these musings will help you to make your beliefs conscious. Being mindful about your own sexual philosophy can only help you enjoy the passionate parts of your life more.

Finally, let me acknowledge that defining who you are sexually is a moving target. Do we every really know ourselves fully? And even when we do, we change.

To create thoroughly fulfilling sex lives, my partners and I continuously reevaluate our sexual philosophies. And venues. And actions. And what we want to do with whom.

I suggest, however far you get with clarifying your sexual identity, that you consider it the beginning of a lifelong dialogue with yourself.

I’m sure there are more things to consider. I’d love to hear your additions and reactions in the comments below.

Love, Somraj

How to Make Sex Less Confusing: The Ten Facets That Define Your Personal Sexual Philosophy – Part 1

Do you realize how much your mind influences the kind, quality, and amount of sex you have? Well, it’s a lot. Good business leaders, good parents, and even good artists and musicians study their craft and make plans to succeed. But what about lovers?

To be a good lover and enjoy all the gifts our sexual bodies promise, we need to get clear on what we want and how we’re going to get it.

Have you ever asked yourself what kind of sex you want more of? Or less of? What kind of lover you are and want to become?

I think that’s one of the reasons a summary of tweets I just read rated sex as one of the top three most confusing parts of life. Well, sure, if you don’t define your erotic identity you’ll show up more like a pinball than a Casanova.
I’m not urging you to ignore attraction, love, desire, libido, hormones, and sexual chemistry. No, I’m suggesting that you can improve your sex life dramatically if you actively and consciously define your personal sexual philosophy.

You do realize that, in our largely sex-negative culture, few of us have honestly and mindfully molded a clear concept of our preferred lovemaking style. Maybe that’s because our elders didn’t have role models like Madonna to steer us away from the mindset of sin towards the overwhelming benefits of a healthy sex life.

Whatever the causes, I want to offer you an easy way to examine your core beliefs and values around sex. If you answer the questions in the following ten categories, I firmly believe your coming sex life will get less and less confusing. And more and more satisfying.

1. Importance

How important is sex to you? For me I’ve always accepted how strong my sex drive was. How high you put lovemaking on your list of life priorities certainly dictates how often you’ll want it and for how long.

There was an era where Saturday night sex was a woman’s duty purely to satisfy her husband. Whether you’re male or female, is that enough for you?

Of course, your libido changes as your hormones come and go. You might find aging, health problems, work stresses, or menopause causing the importance of sex to drop. Or not, if you deem it central to a happy fulfilling life and choose to adapt as we have in our seventies.
2. Relationship

Those still enrolled in the old school may still save sex for marriage. Others believe that they should only make love with the one they love. And then there are those who prefer sport sex while playing the field. In the swinging world, anonymous one-nighters without any sort of relationship are in vogue.

So ask yourself about the role of emotional connection in your sex life. Should your hormones and potential partner’s pheromones determine who you engage with? Or is it all about good looks for you? How important is sexual chemistry? Should you let the infatuation of NRE, new relationship energy, determine who you bed? At least as long as it lasts.

Let’s also consider how committed your are to monogamy. For some that means having sex with only one person your whole life. For others being faithful only applies to the one you’re with this year or month or week. Studies have shown that 60-70% of married people have cheated on their spouse, apparently more so for men. Where do you stand on fidelity?

How do you feel about the growing hook-up culture, especially on college campuses? Are you open to picking people up at bars for one-night stands or having one or more friends with benefits?

Historical research has shown that lifelong monogamy has not always been the accepted pattern of relationship. More and more couples are engaging in polyamory, openly having outside lovers, and other forms of consensual non-monogamy. Several studies put it at 5% in the U.S.

So what are your relationship principles?

3. Gender

An essential element in sexual philosophy is whether you’re only attracted to members of the opposite gender or same-sex partners. You could also choose to be bisexual.

Some say bi people are confused while others like me believe they’re just more open to more forms of pleasure. As a bisexual man, I don’t have the same emotional chemistry with men than I do with women. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy playing with other men’s bodies.

Are you strictly heterosexual, curious, or ready for whatever shows up?

Of course, your gender and relationship preferences are strongly interrelated. What does it mean to you if you have intimate same-sex friends? If you also like to fool around with them, does that mean you’re gay or lesbian?

4. Openness

How awkward is it for you to talk about sex? How shy or assertive are you about asking for what you want? Do you talk about your sexual joys and dilemmas with friends and family? Many therapists will tell you how vital full and authentic sexual communication is especially with your longterm partners.

I didn’t used to be particularly forthcoming about what was going on inside my body and mind, but now my wife and I are completely transparent with what we’re experiencing. And since we have an open relationship, sometimes that means sharing what we’re doing and feeling with other lovers. You might be shocked by how graphic we are around the dinner table with our circle of friends.

To craft this part of your sexual philosophy, ask yourself questions like…

  • How much should I talk with my lovers before, during, and after sex?
  • How much should I ask for what I want and give feedback about whether I’m getting it or not?
  • Should I reveal to my partner(s) when I self-pleasure, get attracted to others, and even make it with other lovers?
  • What is appropriate to keep private about my sex life and from whom?
  • Who should I talk to openly if I have a sexual problem? A friend? A sex therapist?
  • What should I say to my kids about my sex life and their sex lives at what ages?

5. Confidence

Do you feel deserve pleasure? Do you feel good enough about your body to prance around naked with a new — or even an old — lover? How well do you understand your body’s needs so you can give yourself pleasure and ask for what satisfies you?

And how confident are you in giving all sorts of pleasure to your partner? Do you feel good about how you give and receive foreplay, erotic massage, oral sex, and intercourse? If you feel good about your sexual abilities, would it turn you on  or off to make love in front of others?

Let’s not forget the ability to orgasm. Are you in touch enough with your own pleasure pathways that you know all the ways to make yourself climax?  Though there are many more aspects to sex than climaxing, it sure builds confidence if you know how to get your lover off when the time is right.

When delineating your personal sexual philosophy, be sure to make it clear how proud you are of your sexual prowess and fulfillment.


The second half of this article appears in another post on our Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board. Click here to read the other five elements of crafting a personal sexual philosophy.

Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)

ALERT: This is explicit adult material.

There are dozens of ways to give your women’s yoni (vulva & vagina) an erotic massage. Like polishing clio’s pearl (the head of the clitoris) with your fingerpad or using the Come Hither stroke inside on her G-Spot.

In our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making, we show you how to use all of these strokes to trigger the 10 erogenous zones around a women’s outer yoni and the 9 inside. At least the ones you can reach. Some are so deep that most lovers need a sex toy or a hard-on to hit them.

As a guy who’s been socially-programmed to go for it, I used to gravitate towards harder and faster stroking and pumping. Watching porn only reinforced that misguided approach to female pleasure. Now that I’ve been carefully trained by Tantric goddesses, I know that tender and gentle is often more exciting. Especially at the start.

You might ask, if we’re not jackhammering away, how do we reach higher states of ecstasy with Tantric sex?

One answer is that trained Tantric adepts open each pleasure channel much wider than the average lover. (How to do that is a much bigger subject than we can address in a little blog post.) And when you’ve got one sexual electricity conduit pumping surging tides of excitement, you open another one. And connect them in a Passion Circuit inside one body or with an Energy Circle between two bodies.

So when I stumbled upon several super-intense Combo Strokes lately, I knew I was on to something. A Combo Stroke is when you use two fingers on different spots in or around your sweetie’s yoni at the same time. This is usually easier when the fingers are on different hands, but with some dexterity you can use two fingers from the same hand. When you’re triggering turn-on with two sensitive areas at once, the sexual energy naturally flows back and forth between them. Not only do the sensations in each place get intensified, but they often spread to fill the whole body.

Certainly there are several Combo Strokes described in our new ebook. But with 19 feminine erogenous zones and several finger strokes to titillate each of them, we’ve found that detailing them all in one place is just too overwhelming.  So I was thinking that it would be better to share a few every so often. Like right here right now.

Recently we were making love both on our sides in the Scissors Position. (She’s on her back, I’m on my side at right angles with our legs entwined.) I noticed that my index finger was polishing her pearl while my middle finger was massaging clio’s base. That’s the soft area underneath. Her moaning and bucking convinced me this was an excellent technique

A couple weeks later I moved my middle finger down to rub her outlet. That’s the opening of the urethra just above yoni’s mouth. Some women really get off on playing with the outlet since it’s the external tip of the erectile tissue of the G-Spot.

You realize that I was stimulating at least three of her erogenous zones at the same time, right? If the picture isn’t clear, I’m referring to two fingers at work while one hard-on was thrusting in and out.

One of my darling’s favorite erotic massage techniques is rubbing her G-Spot plus her clio at the same time. I can’t tell you exactly what configuration your fingers should be in because their length and the locations of the erogenous zones are different in all women. Sometimes I use my thumb and middle finger. Damn, I guess that means you have to experiment and practice to figure it out. One of our favorite things, I might add.

She was really enjoying this two-finger approach a few times ago when she reached for her favorite Pocket Rocket vibrator. Since she directed that to her clio, I moved my index finder to her outlet. If you’ll permit the questionable language, that was a delightful three-pronged approach. But without any penile penetration.

Combo Strokes are not for the faint of heart. Or clumsy unpracticed lover. You need to monitor what’s going on with each distinct erogenous zone at the same time. And coordinate your movements with what each prefers in each moment. A little demanding, wouldn’t you agree?

But when you’re present, skilled, and in sync with your partner, the sky isn’t the limit. You can get much higher than that.

If you want the whole picture, download our  Long Hot Tantric Love Making ebook by clicking here. Then you can develop your own masterful repertoire of Combo Strokes perfectly suited to your lover(s) unique yoni.

Down With Mental Pollution

What mental pollution do you allow in your emotional space? I’m very selective about what I let in to my inner bull pen.

Meanwhile I’m learning fascinating things about the modern world while building an uplifting Twitter following to promote my orgasmic sex blog and new Tantric ebook.

Like how many singles and couples travel full time and blog about it.

Like how many submissives aren’t the least bit shy about how hard they try to please their masters.

Like how many artists offer their work online. Like how many openly LGBTQ people there are today.

Like how many twenty somethings who emote wildly have tens of thousands of followers.

Like how many people of all ages are so openly graphic, i.e. loving hard dicks, enjoying masturbating, saying fuck and such.

And then there are the lovers who want everyone to know how awesome their partners are.

What a world!  Of course, I stay away from haters and Trump denouncements.

What do you think would happen to you if you focused on good news, exciting progress, and upbeat human interest stories? See, I’m following my own advice by not saying fuck the media.

Whoops! I think I just contradicted myself. Sorry.

My Exuberant Mission Statement

My wife Jeffre gave me a shamanic soul retrieval recently to help improve my emotional state. Interesting to find such garbage I’ve been carrying around for too long. So I wrote this mission statement for all of us who want to enjoy life more.

Part of who you really are is a fully exuberant sexual being. I am one. Desires, dreams, loves, lusts, fantasies both kinky and pure are healthy and natural. Revel in everything erotic in and out of bed. Let go of your old worn anti baggage. Step out of your comfort zone to have more fun. Pleasure and orgasms fuel a robust life. Major in enjoyment with conscious consent. Find out how much joy and ecstasy you can handle and then aim for more. That’s what I’m doing. Creating heaven on earth.

Do Orgasms Knit Energy?

One of my FaceBook friends, Nico, asked me the following question…

“Hi Somraj, am I right in thinking that when a woman orgasms that her energies knit with the male?”

Well, yes, Nico, that’s very possible. But in my experience it’s not guaranteed. More like a personal choice. Let me explain a bit more.

We all live in an energy field that the movements in our body creates — nerve impulses, blood flow, breathing, etc.  I call this bioenergetic field your BioField. When you’re having sex and your bodies are so close, your BioFields typically merge, at least to some degree.

But we all have limits to our comfort zone of letting others into our personal space.
During la petite mort, the French name for orgasm that means “the little death,” we all tend to lose the tight reins on our protecting our personal space. In modern usage this refers to “the brief loss or weakening of consciousness” that climax triggers.

So yes, women may open their channels more and flood you with sexual energy. Or even draw some of your suble life force in.

In fact, there were ancient Chinese schools that taught women to siphon off the lifeforce of men for their own power and longevity. Not something we advocate.

I remember picking up a woman at an upper west side meat market bar in New York. I really wanted to hook up with her hot girlfriend but she was hanging all over my boss. So my date took me to a closet-sized apartment infested with cockroaches. I wasn’t into her (well, ok, I did get it into her just long enough to come) and wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Partly because I could feel her not being into me or letting me into her BioField much

That was decades before I learned the Tantric art of long energy merging.

Now I know about connecting at multiple levels first — heart, mind, soul — so that we’re both comfortable, desired, and excited to welcome each other inside.

With a little training and practice, all lovers can learn to harness and flow their orgasmic energy even before orgasm. You do this by filling your Pleasure Balloons, opening Passion Circuits, and connecting physical and psychic Energy Circkes between you.

If this interests you, download a copy of our new Long Hot Tantric Love Making ebook which explains it all and much, much more. Click here for our free online guided tour which offers all the details.

Thanks for the insightful question, Nico.  I hope this helps or at least gets you started on the path to figuring it all out

Love, Somraj

One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

Used to be it didn’t take me too many sexual thrusts before I came. While engaged last night I realized how far I’ve come. I mean what I learned so I don’t come until we’re both ready.

To overcome premature ejaculation one thing sexologists recommend is gauging your arousal on a 10-point scale. At 1 you don’t feel much and at 10 you explode. When you get too close, you change your thrusts or rhythm or stop if necessary. (This is one of the techniques in my Male Multiple Orgasm book.

I was pretty sensitive last night and rapidly reached an 8. Without thinking I naturally did one thing my book suggests, namely I shifted  the depth of my vajra’s (penis’s) strokes.

You see, Jeffre’s tight yoni (vagina) sphincters were rubbing and squeezing two sensitive erogenous zones on vajra’s head and crown. At that early point in our lovemaking this was pushing me too close to the edge approaching 10.

So I started thrusting deeper which redirected her muscle spasms around the shaft and base of my erection. Typically after about a half hour of thrusting these pleasure zones become much more responsive. But at this early point it just felt good and not overwhelming.

Though I pulled out to that most exciting sweet spot occasionally to give us both an intense jolt, I stayed deeper for the next few minutes to regulate my excitement. Sometimes I thrust all the way in hitting one of her three deepest erogenous zones which stimulated the three in the end of my vajra.

Of course, lots more happened. But I wanted to give you a taste of how I manage my turn-on so we can both have as much fun as we want and still be able to target a Big O when we’re both ready.

By the way, hitting all 28 male and female erogenous zones is a central theme of my new Long Hot Tantric Love Making ebook. Learn more about it (or download it instantly) in our free online guided tour by clicking here.

Love, Somraj

P.S. I’d love to read your comments or questions about all of this.

Big Science Words Don’t Help Real People Have Better Sex

I used to be a scientist. Well, OK, I was a research wannabe. Even though I’m relatively intelligent and got into and graduated from one of the best science schools, it was just way hard for me to understand the overly complex language they used in their journals. So I opted for something more real — to me anyway —  teaching communication, people skills, and team-building. That was before I became a self-appointed sexologist.

Now I read a lot of articles about sex research and still run into the same mind-boggling obfuscations. See what I mean? I could have said words that make things unnecessarily complicated. Though I’m not declaring war on anything, I hope you’ll bear with me for a few examples…

Female Copulatory Vocalization

When women make sounds during jewel union (sexual intercourse). “Wow, honey, your female copulatory vocalization stimulated a harmonious neurotropic reaction in my pudendal nerve.” Really?

Psychogenic Erection

When the mind gives both women and men an erection from seeing a naked body or sexy picture or reading an erotic story. I used to stewing at the drop of a hat as a teenager. And up to 50 or so. Good for sexting I guess.

Epididymal Hypertension

Blue balls, you know what happens if a guy gets aroused and doesn’t cum or move the energy out of his jewels (genitals) after lengthy sexual play. We should all be so lucky, right?

Arousal Concordance

When your body gets turned-on but you don’t feel sexually aroused, or vice versa. The definition I read was “when bodies evince arousal without being accompanied by a subjective sense of physical tumescence.”

If you run across any others, please comment and add to this list.