Ode To My Penis

A sweet Valentine’s Day sentiment from our friend Stuart Schreiber…

On this festive day of swelling romance

I recognize somewhere deep in my pants

An organ used when loving long

Sometimes a lingam; off-times a dong…

Oh my wand I love you so

Whether standing up or hanging low

You represent what’s right in life

Made for pleasure, not for strife

This penis here I hold so dear

To let it go would seem so queer

For as in marriage, “to have and hold”

Should the dollar crash, will be my gold (hehehe)

Clearly a member of the team

A hallucination? No, more a dream

Of pleasant passion yet to come

A lover knocks who must have some

And so I pledge to all my friends

This lingam loves to set the trends

Of how to love and where and when

His Stuness’s room or in the den…

I see this song is getting lengthy

Somewhat vulgar but not dainty

I hope your day is filled with joy

Avoid Estrogen, don’t eat soy.