The Morning After the Marathon Was Way Hot But Different

I love having sex the morning after a long marathon of wild erotic lovemaking. But it’s way different. More like melted chocolate than thunder and lightning.

Since we simply do what feels good to ourselves and each other, that’s fine. Orgasmic Sex doesn’t to be a tear-your-clothes-off, shake-the-rafters, break-the-bed kind of romp. Sometimes it’s sweet and slow. Like our last morning-after coupling.

We slept well the night after, but the day before started around 2 pm and ended close to midnight. So we were both pretty tired.

There was ample interest for more. She laid back against the pillows and spread her legs. Sitting between her legs, I was once again awed by how beautiful her pussy was. In my typical mock macho tone I threatened, “You know what’s gonna happen when you wave that tempting thing at me, don’t you?”

She just smiled back seductively.

So I sat between her legs and she put her bent legs over my thighs. My soft cock was only a few inches from her clean-shaven crack. Even after our strenuous antics of the day and night before, I still wanted to be inside her. I admired the work of art that her cushy lips and peaking pearl (that’s the tip of her clio or clitoris) displayed only for me. At least as long as I could stand it just watching.

Before long I couldn’t resist touching. My fingertip moved slowly and gently at first, playing with her fleshy outer lips. When I spread them with my two index fingertips, I could see her thin inner lips turning pink. With a little wetness on my fingerpads, I traced those delicate petals up, down, and around.

That’s when she started to squirm.

It was so damn tempting to put something inside her pussy’s widening mouth. But I’m a lover trained in the ancient erotic arts of Tantra who glories in making it last. I tarried until I could see her brows knit and her motions get jerkier.

Yet I didn’t immediately give her what she clearly wanted. Instead I scooted forward and took my semi-hard cock in my hand. With the soft wet foreskin, I massaged first around her outer lips and then her inner lips.

Have you discovered how tantalizing cockhead massage circles can be?

Her moans made it clear she was enjoying these erotic caresses. They turned to deeper groans when I shifted to up and down strokes. The up-stroke teased her pussy’s mouth and lingered through her vestibule. (That’s the super-soft pink tissue that surrounds the opening.) I started back down across her fourchette (the folds of tissue at the bottom of the vaginal opening) and even lower. But she stopped me from crossing her backdoor by shaking her head “no.”

I guess all that vigorous thrusting back there the night before left her a little sore.

No worries, I just stroked up and down over her yoni (the Tantric name for pussy) a few times until she squealed with delight and relaxed. After a brief pause, I lengthened my cockhead massage to cross up between her inner lips and over her pearl. Because I was totally hard by then, this rougher stimulation was more intense. But she was turned-on enough to take all I could offer this way for a few more faster, harder, superficial strokes.

We like to call this kind of dalliance “loveplay” instead of foreplay which commits us to penetration. But what she did next made it clear I was committed to enter her.

Every time my cockhead slowly passed her now halfway gaping opening, she thrust her hips towards me. I admit freely that I knew what she wanted, but I played coy for a couple more passes. That’s when she yelled “Fuck me now goddamit!” So I relented.

Well, not completely. I initially used the technique the football players in the locker used to joke about. You know the one where the stud says, “I’ll only put the first inch in”? Well, that’s what I did. Actually I just continued the cockhead massage inside the first inch of her canal. She has a particularly responsive outlet. That’s the little opening at the top of the pussy’s mouth where the pee comes out. And it’s also the end of the spongy tissue on the upper wall that most lovers mistakenly call the G-Spot.

It’s not a fixed spot but a rough swollen crest that extends inside for a couple inches or so. That’s why call it the G-crest instead.

You might be wondering how I learned this kind of loveplay. I’ve studied all the detailed erogenous zones in both gender’s sexual anatomy via websites, books, and the bodies of various lovers. Women have fifteen different sweet spots outside and ten more inside. Stimulating them is what brings the most pleasure. And doing that just long enough is what triggers the different kinds of orgasm that women can experience.

Anyway, she didn’t let my cockhead play with her outlet very long. As I thrust inward, she pushed back driving me deeper each time. Gradually I went further and further. That’s because I know she has ultra-sensitive deep sweet spots. The night before she really loved me pounding them. But not this morning. About half-way in she stopped pushing back. I missed this cue at first and tried to prod the deeper erogenous zones. But when there was little response, I got the message.

She wanted my cock to rub the first couple inches of her G-crest around and past her outlet. It was even better when I raised my hips and rubbed my shaft against this swollen area. The harder I pushed up, the stronger her peaks of pleasure. She had maybe three or four crescendos until a louder one that rocked her vigorously.

But she didn’t have enough energy to go over the top. And I didn’t have enough energy to try and make it happen. Which is the point of this article. Whatever happened or didn’t, it was all good because it felt so good.

I tried scooting back and down so I could enter from the bottom of her yoni. That’s how I sometimes prod her outlet directly with my cockhead instead of rubbing it with my shaft. Sometimes the direct jab drives her crazy. But not today.

Remember we were tired. These gyrations were straining our already overworked muscles too much. So I switched to the Scissor Position where I lay on my side and entered between her legs.

The reason she likes this position is that I can play with her clio while my vajra is thrusting. To boost the electricity, this time she adder her little vibe to her clio. That made her shake and wail again briefly.

Then she said, “Sorry, but that’s all I’ve got today. Yesterday wore me out, I guess.” With protesting muscles and an uncertain erectile future, I didn’t protest.

Even with our limitations, we had lots of fun and pleasure for half-an-hour. If you were in this situation, wouldn’t you have preferred the lazy coupling to skipping it entirely?

The reason I wrote this blog post was to give you a real-life example of Super-Natural Tantric Sex. That’s where you work together to hit each other’s sweet spots the best ways possible for as long as they’re responding. It’s a partnership that makes you both feel orgasmic so much longer than an explosive orgasm can do.

And to share how to do all this is why I wrote my latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making. If you want sex to be all it can be, download a copy now.

Love, Somraj

She Wants It Often, I Want It Longer

Our sexual patterns are different. Though we have so much in common and our sex life is great, after 21 years it’s a little surprising to discover new things.

Like she wants it more often and I want each time to last longer.

Maybe quicker sex is fine for her since we’ve been making so much progress on triggering her orgasms faster. She only needed about 20 minutes of thrusting last night to explode.

For most of my sexual life I couldn’t last anywhere near that long. But my Tantra training and extensive practice with a wife who loves sex has taught me to extend. Now I can surf from peak to peak until I’m ready to let go an hour or more.

I’m just saying that I f you’re quick on the draw there is hope.

So she wants it every other day which is more than I’ve ever had before. Of course I love to help her over the top. It feels great and it’s good for my fragile male ego. But when my motor gets revved up, I prefer to float in an orbit of ecstasy for a couple hours on a good night. Or on and off all weekend during one of our marathons.

Fortunately she really gets off on swapping roles and using my favorite vibrating dildo on me. After her big O she did me like for another 40 minutes. Still I wanted more so I went to my computer after she fell asleep. Though my “internet girlfriends” don’t really know who I am, their pictures help me imagine screwing them. Which keeps me dancing on the verge while playing with myself.

The best news is that we’re both accepting of each other’s preferences. So neither of us pressures the other to change. Being sex-positive means we don’t judge or resist the fantasies that our healthy libidos drive us towards.

Anyway, we’ve both been through lots of different phases in our 21 years together. What we each crave now will probably change soon. And my guess is that it will still be ecstatic.

 

Love, Somraj

Label What You’re Doing to Make Tantric Sex More Orgasmic

My vajra (cock) was happily stroking away inside my wife Jeffre’s yoni (pussy) when she said, “where’s Tiani?”

No, that’s not our girlfriend’s name. It’s a little U-shaped vibrator from Lelo that’s designed for clio (clitoris) stimulation during jewel union. (We’re spiritual teachers so we don’t like to call it fucking until we know that graphic language doesn’t offend whoever we’re working with.)

So I turned Tiani on and brought it to where our jewels (genitals) were connected. Magically, one prong of Tiani’s U slipped inside her yoni. I figured that was what she wanted since she moaned louder, spread her legs wider, and pushed back on my in-strokes.

That’s when Jeffre asked if Tiani was inside her. My mistake, I should have told her what I was doing.

A basic part of Tantric sex is communication. In this case, the giver of pleasure informs the receiver about what they’re doing and what’s going on down there. Even with lots of practice we don’t always know what our playmate is doing where we can’t see. Most people are so out of touch with their bodies, especially their private parts, so that they can’t really connect the sensations they’re getting with their specific body parts.

I call telling your playmate what you’re doing to them and where labeling your actions.

Not verbally labeling what I was doing with Tiani wasn’t a major felony. In spite of my omission, we both exploded in a big simultaneous orgasm. It’s just that I missed an opportunity to improve Jeffre and Tiani’s relationship. Sure, the relationship between a live person and a sex toy is different than the marriage we share. But Tiani is a new member of our sex team and we’re still learning where, when, and how to use her.

The importance of labelling is on my mind lately while I’m revising our latest book into a new version entitled Pathways to Super-Natural Sex. In it I go to great lengths to explain how important partnership is to help us we both reach high peaks of pleasure. I feel blessed that I’ve been so well trained by my hot wife and other sexy lovers to satisfy them.

But that doesn’t mean that in every moment I know what a woman is feeling and wants more of and less of.

Part of our sexual teamwork is that we keep each other informed about what we’re experiencing. I don’t mean we talk all the time. That would disturb the sense of otherworldly rapture that Tantric Sex specializes in. It would put us in heads too much which would distract us from being able to run and stream orgasmic energy.

With just a few words we usually inform each other of changes that we liked or changes that are needed.

After Jeffre asked what our new toy was up to, I explained where Tiani’s two legs were. Then she could tell what was causing the sensations that were making her wail and flail in a good way. I had Tiani’s flat flange inside her yoni. It’s designed to allow room for my erection’s thrusts in her canal.

When I placed Tiani’s rounded vibrating leg against her clio, she almost levitated off the bed and rattled my spine with her gyrations.

If you haven’t been following my orgasmic sex feed lately, you might not have read about how critical clio stimulation is for women’s orgasms. Studies have shown that 70% of women need it to come regardless of what’s happening inside their yoni. Jeffre can come without it, but a vibe on her pearl often makes it easier and quicker.

Which is probably one of the reasons she exploded in just about ten minutes with my vajra and our new friend Tiani. Oh, I forgot to mention that the vibration does wonderful things to my sensations, too. That’s probably why I came with her this time.

Afterwards Jeffre said she really liked Tiani. That was gratifying as the U-vibe had been a present for our last anniversary that we hadn’t taken full advantage of. I’m hoping we’ll use it more now when we’re lusting for something more. And the more I label what I’m doing with Tiani, the more aware Jeffre will be about what causes the sensations she craves. Then she’ll be more able to ask for what she wants and guide me to make every stroke extra special.

This is a great example of one of the foundations of orgasmic Tantric Sex. I’m not all knowing so I don’t dominate all the proceedings. We do change off being in charge. But even when one of us is receiving, we’re also leading. So when she feels Tiani working on her, she lets me know how to get the most out of it.

Another example is when Jeffre is using my favorite vibe in my rosetta (anus). At first I couldn’t tell what she was doing. But the more she announces and explains, the better I can guide her actions. Frankly once one of us gets in an ecstatic groove, it’s the shrieks and gyrations of pleasure that we heed. Little chance of talking when we’re flying so high.

I know letting it all hang out is challenging for lots of lovers. Once I was super inhibited, too. But if you have a willing and loving partner, why don’t you experiment with talking more and showing your turn-on.

I bet you’ll love it. Or should that be “try it you’ll like it”?

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

Supercharged V8 Pleasure from Butt Play

I spent a lot of years having sex that didn’t involve my butt. It was usually great but I had no idea what I was missing.

How come? Well, I was worried that it was dirty. And I was so tight-assed that first attempts at entry hurt.

But mostly I had no idea how incredible it could be.

Three things helped me change all that. First was my Tantra training 20 years ago. That’s how I learned about pelvic armoring. Armoring is when parts of the body get perennially stiff and tense from false beliefs, traumas, and other negative experiences. An armored crotch is a common byproduct of toilet training. As is getting caught masturbating or doing it in the back of your old Chevy. It’s a condition many of us share due to frustrating, stressful, or painful sexual experiences.

Tantra taught me that slow, gentle, deep bodywork can help clear armoring back there. And other places too like a woman’s yoni (vagina).

Over the years I’ve had a lot of this kind of clearing thanks to my wife’s supportive sex-positive attitude. And my FOMO (fear of missing out). Gradually the tension was replaced with more relaxation and more pleasure.

Why does anal play feel so good? Well, it’s naughty and some of us like to walk on the wild side. Yes, that includes me, first in line for something new and kinky.  Plus, the tissues are connected to my other highly sensitive jewels. You remember what that old song says,  “the ass bone is connected to the cock bone?”

Oh, yeah, let’s not forget how many nerve endings are down there.

The second thing was my longtime girlfriend who is a colonic hydrotherapist. That is to say that she specializes in enemas. Now this is a beautiful and sexy woman who is very butt friendly. And always clean.

Not to mention how much she likes me fucking her fresh butt.

Now I’ve tried enemas before and thought it wasn’t really worth all the trouble. Well, until I got hooked on ass play. Then we remodeled our bathroom and installed a bidet so that we’d have cleaner jewels all the time. Little did I realize how motivated I’d be to wash my butt after each visit to the toilet.

So after this third thing I had no excuse but to start using fingers and toys in my backdoor. The more I did it, the more I loved it.

It seems to me that anal play adds more cylinders to my 4-cylinder sexual motor. The pleasure I get is now more like the power of a high-performance V8 engine.

Something else is happening too. While a hand, mouth, or yoni is stroking my cock, active fingers or a vibrating butt plug supercharges my pleasure. It’s more than just stronger sensations. Backdoor stimulation blends in a whole new sort of rocket fuel into the mix.

You might wonder why that would be. If you know anything about a guy’s orgasm control center, you understand. I’m talking about the prostate gland. Or what some call the male G-Spot.

When my G-spot is prodded, it’s as if a swarm of pleasure bees are released inside. They wait in the hive around my prostate until they’re awakened. Then their fast little wings massage me from the inside and make me swoon each time they stream through my body.

Last night I had several 30 to 60 second orgasms that way. They were a new variety that I’ve only had before with my vajra (penis) being excited. I call them dry orgasms because there’s no ejaculation.

Still, everything in my pelvis was vibrating at a high frequency spreading waves of sensation everywhere. Like I was driving 100 mph on the freeway until I blasted into orbit. The muscles that make me squirt were convulsing big time except the one around my prostate gland that ejects semen. That’s why I can have them over and over for a long while.

In my new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making three of the twelve different types of orgasm are exclusively for men: Ejaculation, G-spot, and Dry. So I was having lovely energy eruptions that blended the last two.

You know, I’ve been practicing Tantric Sex for 20 years now and it’s amazing how much I keep discovering. If you’re like me and love to explore your inner erotic world, I highly recommend it.

The Pretzel Sex Position: Gyrations That Trigger Multiple Blended Orgasms (X-Rated)

We’ve been really getting off on multiple blended orgasms in our latest greatest sex position. I call it The Pretzel Position. Let me explain.

Our favorite sex positions have changed over the twenty years we’ve been doing it together. Sure, we’ve toured all the rooms in the house — and locales on the deck and in our big backyard — but there are just certain postures that let us hit the best spots.

As we’ve been exploring more and more of our erogenous zones, we’ve been doing whatever we can to add them to our in-and-out sex.

When it’s late and we’re tired, we gravitate to the Scissors Position. This is side-to-sex sex with her on her back and me on my side at right angles. The name comes from how our legs have to intertwine: my lower one underneath, and my upper one between her legs. Or sometimes she puts both her legs up above mine so I have unimpeded access to her pussy.

The great thing about the Scissors Position is that I can easily play with her clio (clitoris) while sliding in and out of her. And if we’re both so moved, I can twirl her nipple with the other hand.

You could say what my hands are doing is what gives the Pretzel Position its name, but then it’s only one-sided. When she’s not swept away in rapture, she’s been known to give me a little ball grazing. Somehow gently tickling my tight sacs really boosts my excitement.

So with each of our hands so engaged, our bodies do look more like a pretzel.

Blended Orgasms

Here’s how we open pathways to blended orgasms. That’s when you trigger huge pleasure peaks from more than one erogenous zone. Blending clio and pussy stimulation is one of our standards. When you’ve got two triggers firing at once, the energy generated is tremendously boosted.

If you’ve read any of my recent posts, you know I’ve been opening up my butt zone to more and more incredible pleasure. Since she’s a dedicated loving wife, while I’m titillating three of her erogenous zones (pussy, clio, nipple), she’s been offering to play with my rosetta. That’s our first Tantra teacher’s preferred name for the asshole. Not only is that a sweeter term but it kind looks like a little rose, don’t you think?

Here’s where the real pretzeling comes in. I have to rotate my lower body up towards her chest so she can reach my butthole. The good news is that her finger dancing back and forth my swelling pink opening often sends a jolt of energy throughout my body.

If you missed it, you can learn all about jolts and streamers of sexual energy in my last post Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed.

If you haven’t realized it yet, let me be explicit: we’re way into energy sex. Not that we don’t love the waves of pleasure that slippery friction produce. It’s just that we major in amplifying, channeling, and spreading the sexual electricity so our whole bodies get turned-on. While my cock is pumping her pussy, of course.

The bad news is that we can’t hold that knotted-up posture for very long. But never fear. Here’s where my experiments with a new crop of sex toys really paid off.

Unfortunately it’s tricky to sink a butt plug home from the The Pretzel Position. So we have to disengage for a moment for her to slide one home. That’s usually about the time that I start wailing with ecstasy. She really likes that about me, too.

Back in the saddle, I’ve got my hands on her juicy spots and she’s pumping my rosetta my latest vibrating dildo throb. Well, it’s kind of a heart throb too because of all the energy that’s circulating up and down making my body jackknife.

A Moving Target

Since I can’t lie still with my cock and my butt generating off such intense sensations, that makes her job even more challenging. I revel in being a moving target.

At times she can hold the butt plug in with her foot but that usually doesn’t last long either. Some people can retain a butt plug with their sphincters alone but the more backdoor play I enjoy, the looser I get. Besides, some in-and-out with the cock-shaped dildo makes it even better.

Now, you can imagine that we’re both moaning and vibrating and gyrating with delight. So we don’t want pretzeling to stop. Fortunately, there’s nothing in the scriptures that prevents each us from taking over our own pleasure.

I take over control of the faux dick in my rosetta with my lower hand. That makes it tough for me to reach her clio with my upper hand. There’s just no way to get around her thigh. So she takes over playing with herself. Usually with her favorite Pocket Rocket vibe. 

I guess that still looks like we’re a big pretzel with our hands on ourselves and our jewels locked together. And this way we can go for as long as we want. Yay!

As we’re rocking and rolling away in ecstasy, we’re generating super intense energies from each of these erogenous zones. The voltage is higher, the current is wider, and the merging of all this sexual electromagnetism is phenomenal.

That’s where blended orgasms come from. The tides from her pussy and clio collide. The waves from my prostate and cock join together. This opens wider channels inside each of us. And since we’re so in tune with each other’s energy, we start circling energy back and forth between us.

That’s the real delicious part of the Pretzel Position. The excitement swirling around and through our bodies like a big erotic pretzel. And the longer we keep it going, the higher our pleasure peaks get. We’re so turned-on that we’ve got the energy to keep detonating orgasm after orgasm as long as we can.

I hope pretzeling works for you. But you may need some adjustments based on your anatomy and preferences. Have fun experimenting and I look forward to hearing all about it.

Love, Somraj

Full-Body Erections: He and She Both Need One for Satisfying Sexual Penetration and All 12 Types of Orgasm (X-Rated)

As a teenager and a younger man, any swish of a shapely butt would make me hard. Now that I’m a sexy senior citizen, my schwing reflex isn’t as reliable. But when I’m erect, that super sensitivity is still ultra wonderful.

My female lovers tell me that they experience much the same thing.

Wait, did I just say that women get erections?

Yes, I did. Now they may not be as visible from the outside as when a guy’s love tool reaches for the sky. But feminine jewels (genitals) undergo much the same arousal process as male ones.

I’m talking about the turn-on process. When any body gets excited, the spongey tissues down there fill with blood which makes them hotter, darker, and more flushed. Scientists call jewels that are swollen this way “engorged” or “tumesced.”

A penis becomes erect when its three inner cylinders whose names begin with “spongiosum” fill with blood. There’s an artistic softie on the right.

I don’t have to explain that a guy’s organ needs to be somewhat engorged to get hard enough for sexual penetration. It’s pretty difficult to cram a floppy noodle into a deep cavity, right? (Let’s not forget, however, that there are still lots of fun things to do with it.)

The Edge of Wetness

What may not be as obvious is that a woman’s yoni (vagina) needs to be sufficiently tumesced to enjoy jewel union (sexual intercourse). Check out the before and after pictures at the left for some idea of what I’m talking about.

One way to tell is how wet her yoni gets. If she’s not turned-on enough to be lubricated, dry sexual stroking won’t be pleasurable. In fact in can be downright painful. But due to age, medications, and physical condition, some women don’t lubricate regardless of how aroused they are. To deal with that, we’ve found our favorite water-based lube that we buy in cases and always keep at hand.

Johnny Carson used to do a skit regularly called “The Edge Of Wetness.” You couldn’t depend on those jokes to be wet either.

Since feminine wetness isn’t totally predictable, we all need a better indicator of the feminine erection. Sheri Winston, in her great book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, calls this the “cuff.” That’s a snug, swollen, puffy, sensitive sleeve that surrounds yoni’s mouth when fully erect. Does the picture at the right give you an idea of a what this puffy sleeve looks like before penetration? It’s the cuff that molds around and squeezes a male erection (or a finger or toy) inserted inside.

The tissue that forms the cuff is actually a spongy network extending all throughout a woman’s groin. That includes her outer and inner lips, several deep parts of her clio (clitoris), her G-Spot, and other erectile tissues in and around her yoni.

Here’s how we described in our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making

The whole women’s web (WWW) is an integrated matrix of linked, excitable, erogenous zones within and around a woman’s jewels. When tumesced, these organs work together to create a “cuff” on all sides of yoni’s mouth. In its puffy erect state, the cuff is a snug, swollen, sensitive sleeve that surrounds and squeezes anything that’s inserted. Though elastic, it’s firmer and much more “grabby” than yoni’s mouth when unaroused. Until it’s plump and engorged, entry isn’t pleasurable. That’s why getting only one or two parts of the WWW excited limits a woman’s opportunity for passion, orgasm, and ecstasy.

To enjoy long passionate orgasmic sex and enjoy all twelve orgasms, it’s essential for the WWW to be fully aroused, engorged, and tumesced. In order to prevent premature penetration, make sure yoni’s cuff is fully erect first. That’s the only way to know for sure that you’re being invited inside.

Just like a male hard-on, a fully plump female cuff is essential to enjoy all twelve types of orgasms.

What About The Rest Of The Body?

 You can have lots of fun playing with male or female jewels without an erection. How else can we enjoy foreplay to get our privates ready for more vigorous action?

But the scope of this article is bigger than that, namely, the whole body.

OK, I admit that whole bodies are already filled with blood and aren’t likely to get more engorged without a major transfusion (joke). What I’m referring to here is the skin flush, goosebumps, and other manifestations of excitement.

A full-body erection is when you feel those same sensations all over.

In other words, after your jewels get erect you can spread those delicious feelings and get even more turned-on. Sexual arousal may start from some sort of sensual touch and trigger the brain to activate the arousal that feels so good. But it’s sexual energy that we’re actually feeling.

In Long Hot Tantric Love Making we define sexual energy as…

The electromagnetic lifeforce in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm.
Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

It’s the energy that causes a jewel erection. But when it collects in non-spongy tissues like your torso, legs, or head, it still feels like an erection.

So to have a full-body erection all you need to do is generate a lot of sexual energy and spread it all over. If you’re healthy, a robust sex drive is natural. When your libido is prompting you to play, getting turned-on should be easy.

All that’s left is to charge all your limbs, organs, cells, and every inch of your skin with sexual energy.

My previous blog post, The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy, explained how to expand the energy out of your jewels to fill your whole body.

Of course, an explosive orgasm usually drains this vital essence before you can stretch it out of your jewels. That’s why the art and science of full-body erections begins with delaying orgasm. The article referenced above explains how to edge and dance on the verge so you won’t come before your whole body is vibrating with sexual energy.

Why Bother?

I would think it obvious if jewel erections feel good that you’d want more of it more places. If you don’t yet belong to the cult of perpetual pleasure, you might want to consider joining. No registration fees, no rules, no mandatory meetings. Just make the passion grow and last with yourself and with a lover.

Without doing this, you’ll probably have difficulty enjoying all twelve types of orgasms. And it goes without say that without a full-body erection having full-body orgasms is pretty unlikely.

Love, Somraj

Tantric Masturbation: What Happens Outside Looks Much The Same, But What Happens Inside Is Way Different (X-Rated)


Sexologists like me — and lots of normal people — believe that masturbation is good. It feels good, it’s good for your body and mind, and it’s the ultimate in safe sex. And when you’re climbing the walls, it’s a great way to relax. Plus it’s always close at hand.

If you’re in a relationship, it can be very educational when you use masturbation to improve your sex life. Doing yourself is a great way to learn what you need and shows you what you need to teach your partner.

Orgasms are a use-it-or-lose-it kind of ability for those who don’t come so easily.

If you haven’t tried doing it in front of each other, you have a fun experience ahead. One study showed that 85% of people masturbate while in relationship. So I suggest that a major part of embracing a fully sex-positive attitude is accepting that masturbation is a healthy and natural part of life.

Besides, those of us who enjoy getting themselves off aren’t likely to stop anytime soon. It seems to me better if we learn to make peace with it.

I’ve Enjoyed It Many Ways

As a youngster — and by that I mean from my teenage years until 50 — I did it a lot. More than daily at first and several times a week as I aged. And a lot of ways and in lots of places. Outside in nature was my favorite. And still is on my top-five list.

Being a young male without any sex education, my aim was release. You know, to relieve the pressure of lust preying on my otherwise brilliant, objective, and superior mind. For a while at least I was more able to treat people I found attractive with some degree of appropriate respect and maturity.

Oh, and so I didn’t get blue balls.

Yeah, I’ve always had a real strong sex drive. It was like a river during spring flood carrying me with it. And because I didn’t know any other way of coping, sometimes it was like an irresistible tsunami.

Sure, I felt a little embarrassed and guilty about my habit. But I didn’t think I had a problem or was particularly perverted. I just had this urge and found a private way to deal with it.

Then I found Tantra. If you’re unfamiliar with this ancient spiritual philosophy, just think of it as a way to accept yourself — your soul, mind, body, and sexuality — fully. Basically, Tantra is a bunch of practices beginning with meditation and breathing designed to help you harness your lifeforce energy. And, of course, when you’re horny there’s lots of energy alive within you that’s jerking you around looking for an outlet.

Transmute Your Sexual Desires?

You might expect a guru (not me) to advocate that you use spiritual practices to transmute your sexual desires into higher consciousness. Yogis have done it for millennia. Well, that’s a wonderful prescription if it works for you.

But all too often putting advice like this into action results in suppressing your innate erotic energy flows. Not good! Trying to dam the powerful current of libido usually fails. And with nowhere to go, the unreleased energy does cause perversions: unwanted sexual advances, damaging abuse, and traumatic violence.

This is not what the creator had in mind when endowing us with our natural sex drives. I firmly believe if even the weirdos amongst us had healthier sex lives the world would be much safer for women and children.

Now, even at 70, I make love a lot. With more longies than quickies. With more enduring pleasure than rushing headlong to ejaculation. With my Tantric training, I’ve learned to let the sexual tidal wave carry me to higher planes of satisfaction typically without a wet orgasm.

I guess I could say that I’ve made peace with my robust erotic current. I let it infuse me with vitality, joy, and creativity. It makes my life richer and more fun than when I was trying to repress my naturally sexy state.

Self-Pleasuring With The Emphasis On “Pleasure”

These days when I have sexual urges, desires, and fantasies, I self-pleasure. OK, from the outside that looks just like masturbation. But from the inside it’s different.

Tantric self-pleasuring doesn’t rush me headlong towards getting myself off and relieving the pressure as quickly as possible. Instead, it’s about giving myself pleasure. Long-lasting, more intense pleasure than I ever got from a quick squirt.

Some call it self-love. That’s a popular concept in new-age spiritual thought. Certainly, making myself feel good by playing with my body demonstrates that I love myself. But even more, it’s about being fully alive. Regulating, condemning, and going to war against my sexual nature always made me feel worse.

Today I use the easily recharged reservoir of sexual energy to keep myself young, fit, and happy.

Tantric masturbation — or self-pleasuring as I prefer to call it — is all about the energy flowing through my body. Since it’s mostly focused on my genitals, my practice raises, expands, and spreads the life-giving sensations everywhere.

In Tantra we call this “running energy.” It’s the conscious skill of infusing every cell, tissue, and system with the excitement that’s usually confined to the sex organs. Running energy makes me shiver, shudder, and shake. It feels like every cell is coming.

If you can recapture the sensory memories of how an orgasm feels, imagine those sensations lasting for minutes at a time all over. That’s my motivation for Tantric self-pleasuring.

So instead of trying to make myself ejaculate and relieve the pressure, I turn myself on and spread the excitement as long as I can. Sometimes that’s for hours, but at my age if I’m tired or achey my self-love sessions get somewhat limited.

How I Do It

There’s no Tantric magic in my personal hand-jobs. But there is in what’s going on inside.

Usually I watch my favorite brand of porn. Interestingly enough, the preferred visual fantasy seems to be a very personal choice amongst my best friends and lovers. Yes, we share even what many would consider theses most intimate privacies.

One boyfriend prefers videos of complete sex scenes. Another specializes in pictures and movies of coming. Another only gets super titillated from erotic stories.

Go figure, huh? Different strokes for different folks. Literally!

And in a different way, erotic images serve my female lovers, too. When really aroused and wanting to climax, immersing themselves mentally in one of their favorite fantasies often does the trick. That’s probably why there’s such a groundswell of interest in kinky role-playing these days, largely the result of the popularity of the 50 Shades Of Grey books and movies.

My preference is pictures or short animated clips of penetrative sex. Yes, the sexy bodies and glorious private parts entice me. But his erect tool entering her jade garden (that’s the ancient Chinese euphemism for the pussy) is my favorite.

You might ask how we all gravitate towards our favorite images. For me, it’s simple. How does it make me feel? Sometimes one configuration of a couple’s bodies does nothing for me while another one that’s not much different floats my cork big time.

That means it shoots streamers of sexual electricity inside and fills me with that delightful erotic magnetism. So to decide what I want to look at while I’m stroking myself, all I need to do recognize is how much energy is flowing inside me.

How Real Is It?

Recently I’ve noticed that some images actually make me feel like I’m penetrating that lover on my computer screen.

In other words, the experience of watching porn while self-pleasuring simulates the sensations of actual sex. It doesn’t seem to be as intense or last as long, so I’m not advocating doing away with making love with a real-life orgasmic partner.

But when I can realistically imagine what making love with that pornstar actually feels like, I thoroughly enjoy myself. Does my this fantasy world in my head make me lust after them? Well, yes, of course. But I view it as a consensual fantasy. They wouldn’t broadcast pictures of their bodies if they didn’t expect them to be used this way.

So what is Tantric masturbation all about, then? My aim is to make myself feel the supreme bliss that is everyone’s inherent birthright.

Hopefully this explains why Tantric self-pleasuring is a vital part of my spiritual practice. If I wasn’t proud of what I’ve developed, would I be sharing this so openly with you?

May you openly make peace with your own masturbation style and find a healthy way to infuse your life with such ecstasy.

Love, Somraj

Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks: How to Use Them to Trigger Different Kinds of Orgasms (X-Rated)

We had a great 12 hour sex party with a favorite girlfriend and a favorite boyfriend yesterday. We’re so close and trusting and intimate that the ecstasy and the laughter was life-altering.

And I learned even more about what happens with sexual energy during peaking. That’s the sudden ascent followed by the sudden descent of your turn-on. I’ve been studying pleasure peaks lately and just wrote what I thought was the definitive guide here. But we all had so many of them that I couldn’t help seeing deeper into what happens.

Even all being so turned on, we started out without many sharp, jarring peaks. I’m not just talking about first penetration. In our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric LoveMaking we devote a whole chapter to initial entry because it’s so critical to create an energetic connection before the action heats up. Yes, I’m referring to when his vajra (penis) first enters her yoni (vagina).

Sometimes the first strokes create off-the-charts sexual electricity. But yesterday we weren’t in any hurry and found the first few minutes enjoyable but not explosive. When you’re Tantrically-trained as we all are, we can devote a long time to savoring the delicious sensations without rushing.

Then the first pleasure spike hit me. Because I was so relaxed, I could see the sexual energy blossoming in vajra’s head as my excitement rose. After a few up-down cycles driven by many in-out cycles, I noticed the blossoming energy created a current. I could call it a flow of sexual electricity or use many other poetic images. But simply I could feel this hot buzzing sensation pulsing the end of my love tool. That was way real, not just some artistic reference or scientific factoid.

As our lovemaking continued, the sexual charge intensified. What I was feeling was more heat spreading down my shaft and into my G-Spot (prostate gland). When more energy infused my prostate, the tops of the peaks felt like bursts of fire in this orgasm-central gland. Undoubtedly it’s these intense G-Spot bursts that make many men come before they want to.

It occurred to me that some pleasure peaks are more physical in nature while others are more energetic. Of course, it’s sexual energy that creates all the great feelings of any kind of sex anywhere around the body. But what I’ve just described is what happens when you stimulate physical erogenous zones. In other words, hit the physical trigger and for sure you’ll generate sexual energy.

I wondered if some sexual peaks are triggered by energy first. I was sure this had happened to me a lot when I wasn’t paying much attention to these erotic physics. Sex can be way distracting, right? So I decided to play with the dense charge that the sexual strokes was creating. That was partly because the excitement in my vajra at the top of the peaks was getting too close to comfort. I needed to do something to prevent myself from ejaculating prematurely.

What I chose to do was spread the excitement up the central channel from my crotch to my heart. To do that I consciously used the 5 cruxes of ecstasy (breath, sound, movement, presence, and visualization) described in that previous blog post. (It’s entitled The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy.) At the next peak I felt a flare of sexual energy shoot up my body. After a couple more energy flares, my whole body started to tingle and vibrate like my cockhead alone did moments before.

These were peaks triggered by me intentionally moving energy, not just from sexual friction around my most sensitive pleasure spots.

By the way, spreading energy upwards like this is the secret to having full-body orgasms. Even though it wasn’t a full-blown climax this time, that’s what it felt like to my body. Have you ever found that what you were sharing felt so good that you never wanted it to stop? Sure you have. Well, that’s where I was.

After what seemed like nearly forever I noticed my sweetie making those sharp breaths and jerky movements that signals she’s close. I don’t know if this is your experience, but it’s much easier to get her close to coming than push her over the edge. So I thought I’d see if the high-voltage sexual charge in my vajra would help.

I visualized that the dense energy in vajra’s head started sending off sparks and bursts and flares into her yoni. Her reaction was instantaneous. One of the truly wonderful things about my beloved is that she wears her arousal on her sleeve. Sorry, bad idiom, as we were both naked. What I mean is that she makes how she’s feeling crystal clear. So there was no doubt in my mind that she was jolted by the streams of energy I was shooting into her yoni.

Sometimes we can hover on the edge of a Big O for many minutes. You know, approaching the brink and them inexplicably backing off. But not this time. I think all it took was two deep strokes of my vajra while it streamed sexual electricity. Suddenly she started to come. So I followed one of the 17 Orgasm Principles laid out in our new ebook. Namely, I didn’t change a thing. I maintained the same stroke speed, depth, angle, and pressure. And I kept directing energy bursts inside her.

Would you agree that my experiment was successful? I used sexual energy to trigger a resounding pleasure peak powerful enough to call it an explosive orgasm.

I’m really looking forward to more experiments soon. Once we both recover from yesterday’s marathon.

Love, Somraj

Fuckstasy and 69: Passionate Orgasms Stem More From Following Than Leading (X-Rated)

My girlfriend and I had a sweet and sexy reunion with an old boyfriend who returned to play with us after a breakup. The three of us have been heart-connected for many years. He joined us Friday night after breaking up with his now-ex-girlfriend who was decidedly monogamous. Different strokes, right? He proposed and later confirmed that a three-way romp would provide the cleanest closure so he could move past grieving.

Though we spent hours talking and connecting platonically, when we got around to sex many of our old turn-ons for each other came back organically. I was strongly reminded of how lovely threesomes are when the two same-gendered people are bisexual. In this case, two men with a woman. Or when there are two women with one man (one of my favorites, I freely admit). As Kim pointed out at the SexPositive Reno presentation about Ethical Non-Monogamy last Monday, otherwise it’s a V. That means the two men are at the top of the V only connected with the woman at the bottom point. Or vice versa. Don’t get me wrong, taking turns can be super erotic when watching is a turn-on for everyone involved. But the three-way energy connection when we’re each into touching each other (and more) provides its own special gifts.

When we finally crashed after midnight, we were hoping to conserve our energy for a long day of play starting early Saturday morning. Unfortunately — no, correct that — fortunately, she and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Our tired lovemaking was slow and sweet and delicious. So yummy that I fell asleep in a profound state of “fuckstasy.” You may not have heard that word before because I made it up while her jewels (genitals) kept insisting on mine sliding in and out of hers. Our fucking created such intense ecstasy that I coined the term fuckstasy.

Have you been there recently? I sure hope so.

Turns out the erotic evening and sleepy coupling served as the perfect foreplay for our twelve-hour one-on-one date the next day after our boyfriend left. When we started up again about noon, we were more relaxed than usual. If you’ve read any of my Tantra articles or books, you know how vital
relaxation is for running energy. That’s our slang term for the feeling of consciously streaming sexual excitement through your body.

Even after 15 years, not only could we not keep our hands off of each other, we couldn’t keep our mouths off of each other. 69, mutual oral sex, seemed to the perfect way to start up again. As the excitement built, it cascaded through our bodies in stronger and stronger pulses. One of the best things about 69 for energy-sensitive lovers is that it creates a complete circle. The sexual electricity streamed up my body from my cock (with her mouth around it) and sparked off my tongue into her pussy. The current from her pussy up her body through her heart to her mouth completed the circuit.

I’ve written many times earlier about how important open forthright communication is to sexual pleasure. Specifically, last year she gave me a little  course about what her clio (clitoris) prefers: soft and slow and slippery. Right, even after all this time, I still needed (and need) training to please her in some new moments. So, being the dedicated student I am, I was gentle though creative with her growing pearl.

And patient. My goddess, we already had great fun the night before and had the whole day and night ahead of us. So I was in no hurry. As she explained later, that is one critical factor in her ability to orgasm. When she’s worried that it’s taking too long, or she’s thinking that her partner wants her to reciprocate, she can’t sink into her own pleasure and explode over the top. I was having so much fun from licking her and being sucked that I could have gone on much longer than the thirty minutes we were so engaged.

And while we’re discussing female orgasms, it’s important to recognize that they often take many times longer than male ones. Sometimes up to an hour or more. But frankly that wasn’t my purpose. Tantric lovemaking isn’t goal oriented. The electromagnetism circling between us was so satisfying that I didn’t want it to end too soon.

At one point, maybe twenty minutes into our 69ing, she simply said “suck it.” I knew she wanted my mouth providing suction and bouncing up and down on her clio. That was more vigorous than my earlier training indicated, but I readily complied. There was no doubt that she asked for the right thing. It was obvious because she started vibrating and breathing and moaning so much more strongly.

Which raises another point about feminine climaxes. It’s hard to make a woman come who doesn’t know her own body, her most potent erogenous triggers, and her proven pathways to orgasm. That’s why we always urge and encourage all women to self-pleasure regularly. Plus it’s like exercise. They need to keep their sexual muscles toned and ready for the onslaught of tidal waves of pleasure. Because my girlfriend is so active, she knows her body and its response intimately. So when she asked for sucking, I knew I was being guided by the foremost authority on her own excitement.

With the mutual sucking 69 we were both getting even hotter than we’d been before. I could feel the sexual energy more intensely in my cock which made me wail and flail, moan and groan. Did you ever hear of a “hummer?” That’s when a lover hums while giving oral sex. The term is usually applied to blowjobs, but in this case she couldn’t help but feel my sound vibrations directly invading her clio.

Later she told me how much it turns her on when a man shows his turn-on without holding back. Us guys may be culturally programmed to be taciturn and insensitive like John Wayne. But that’s not me. Tantra training has helped me to fully feel and express my passion. When I’m in an energy circle like 69, I know I have to keep up my end of the bargain. The more energy we both generate, release, and reveal, the stronger the synergy.

I really didn’t know where we were heading up to this point. Remember, I was so blissed out from the night before that I wasn’t the least bit rushing. But when she said “harder” I figured the end was in sight. How many times have I mistimed my ejaculation mistakenly expecting the woman I was fucking was on the brink? Again, her simple assertiveness saved me from having to try to figure out where she was at.

As instructed, I kept doing what I was doing, just harder. And the room began to glow, and the walls began to shimmer, and her body seemed to levitate. It didn’t happen all at once, but in stages. A little louder, a little more shaking, a little more intense energy flow. And then more, and then more. Kind of like Led Zeppelin’s super-hit “Stairway To Heaven” that Jimmy Page calls “that fucking wedding song.”

Did you ever wonder or say “did you come yet?” to your playmate? No need for that this time. The explosive climax shook us and the bed. I held on to her butt cheeks for dear life. I think my cock fell out of her mouth (fortunately) so she could scream at the top of her lungs. And it kept going on and on, changing in colors and flavors and textures, as it bounced off the walls and ceiling, rattled the windows, and freaked out our four dogs. (Well not too much, they’re kind of used to it.)

This was not the first time that I was humbled by such an experience. Not the first time I realized any self-image of me being a good lover is dwarfed by the truth that I wasn’t leading or in charge. Rather, I followed her to her climax. I listened, observed, and paid attention to what her body was doing and what she knew she wanted. Like so many macho guys, sometimes I can’t help suffering from feeling that I know it all. It takes this kind of ascent to a woman’s orgasm to disabuse me of my hubris. Sure, I feel fantastic having done my part. But if I have any ego left in the whole affair, my pride is centered around being willing to let her direct me and my willingness to follow.

Women, may you take more charge in bed. And men, may you have the strength of character to surrender to her pleasure while putting your ego aside.

Love, Somraj