Help Your Man Last Longer in Bed: 9 Tips to Make Sex Orgasmic for Both of You

Many surveys show that sex averages 5 to 10 minutes max. If you’re a woman, that usually isn’t enough to bring you to orgasm. Women need at least 20 minutes but usually 40 or more. If you’re a man, coming in a few minutes can be fun. But wouldn’t you want to maintain the level of pleasure that you feel just before you orgasm for an hour or more?

After years in the 5 to 10 minute zone, Tantra taught me how to last as long as we both want. But I’m a highly-sensitive man and it takes two to Tantra for a long time. My first Tantric Sex book, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery, laid out the complete program of solo exercises for men.

But neither of you can make it happen by yourself. You have to learn how to share the power so you both get what you need. And since pleasure is a moving target, you’ve got to stay in the now and and learn to roll with the punches gracefully.

That starts by dropping the myth that the man is always in charge of making his lover orgasm. It takes teamwork and partnership. You both have to be more conscious of what you and your lover are feeling in each moment. You both have to be more expressive with words and body language. And that’s not much good unless you both pay attention to what’s happening with your partner as well as yourself.

For example, when I’m getting real close to coming, my wife knows it. She slows down when I need to. When she’s climbing, I find a way to lessen my excitement so I can help her over the top without losing it myself.

OK, that’s the theory. But if you haven’t studied Tantric Sex yet, what should you do if you want to put this strategy into action? Here are nine practical tips.

1. Take Turns

Take turns leading and following. Don’t expect him to be totally in charge of your pleasure all the time. When you need something more, guide him so he can lead. But when he’s approaching the point of no return, let him do what he needs to back off. Learn when to put your demands first and when to put his sensitivity first.

2. Communicate Verbally

Partnering for orgasmic sex doesn’t work best like a silent auction. Even your first time together, there’s a graceful way to ask for what you prefer. In fact, before we take our clothes off, I like to ask about my partner’s likes and dislikes. Where’s your G-spot? What does it and your clio (clitoris) prefer? What can I do to help you reach orgasm if that’s what you want? The woman can ask similar questions to help build a working partnership.

Does that spoil the mood? Well, maybe, the kind of rip-your-clothes-off can’t-wait-another-second unrealistic movie couplings. But we find that talking about what we’re going to do to each other and that we really want it is a huge turn-on.

Communication is even more important once you start making love. How are you feeling? What do you want more of and less of right now? What are you loving about your partner’s body and what it’s doing to you? Many say this kind of intimacy is even more erotic than non-stop humping.

3. Ask Him to Reveal How Close He Is

The most important fact to share frequently is how close you each are to coming. Sexologists recommend using a 10-point scale where 0 equals feeling nothing and 10 equals climaxing. Or maybe it’s enough for him to say “I’m close” when he needs to slow down. Sharing like this requires that he pays attention to his excitement level. And it brings the secret (how likely is it that he’ll come in a few seconds) out into the open so you can share the responsibility.

4. Welcome Him Showing How Close He Is

It’s true that announcing a number every few seconds may not help your erotic mood. Verbal communication is important, but it does require thinking when you’re trying to concentrate on feeling. So it’s even better to encourage your guy to SHOW his turn-on with non-verbal communication. He doesn’t want to inhibit his body doing its thing. Respond passionately when he breathes heavily, moves sensuously, wails and flails. Applaud when he makes love sounds. Celebrate it every time he lets his freak flag fly. Then they’ll be less need for play-by-play announcements and fewer unexpected surprises.

5. Monitor His Body Language

It won’t help much if he’s opening up but you’re not paying attention. Monitor his body language. The more you make love with someone, the better you’ll get at reading his signals. My wife can tell when I pull out or stop moving. Pretty obvious. But she can also tell when I tense up or just get less relaxed. Maybe it’s part telepathy. But I think she’s just staying awake and noticing my changes.

Watching him does require that you devote some of your RAM, your mental computer’s memory, away from your own pleasure. It’s a fundamental Tantric principle that “energy flows where attention goes.” So monitoring him the whole time may take you out of your own experience. That’s why alternately leading and following, focusing on him at times and yourself at times, is so helpful.

Some say that the three keys to a successful bar, store, or restaurant is location, location, location. Maybe so. But I do know that the three keys to coming together is timing, timing, timing.

6. Let Him Choose Positions

Some sexologists believe that it’s better for the guy if the woman is on top. Supposedly he can relax and not work as hard. That never seems to work for me. Sure, I love it when she’s riding me if I’m not too close. But when I’m hypersensitive, I’m much better able to regulate my excitement in different sexual positions where I have more control. Me on top or both of us on our sides work better for me. The also allow for a looser fit as well as other postures when she can spread her legs. I save the tighter fit positions for times I’m able to pump to her heart’s delight.

7. Let Him Choose the Pace

When he needs to manage his excitement, let him choose the pace. When he slows down to keep from going over the edge, follow him. When he’s less sensitive and goes faster, lose yourself and enjoy it.

8. Experiment With Strokes 

The better you understand the ten sweet spots (erogenous zones) on your man’s vajra (penis), the easier it will be to find sexual strokes that he’s less sensitive to. Sex books commonly say that the head and crown are the most excitable.

For the first 30 minutes or so that’s usually true for me. But after I’ve peaked multiple times without coming, lower on my shaft becomes “sweeter.” Before we understood this, the spasms of my wife’s yoni (vagina) usually made me climax. Now I switch to shallower strokes when I know she’s on the verge. This allows me to maintain the angle and speed of my thrusts while reducing my excitement.

Agree that you will play with speed, angle, depth, length, and pressure of sexual strokes to find thrusting patterns that keep him going while you’re climbing.

9. Sync Your Sexual Energy

How much sexual energy you generate determines how turned-on you each get. When you’re both climbing to a peak together, you can go for it. If he’s fully pumped up and you’re not, you need to learn to enjoy slow and subtle coupling. If he’s not as excited as you, you can become fully absorbed in your own pleasure.

But the flow of sexual electricity typically isn’t steady for long. It comes and goes in peaks and troughs. So a vital part of part of your orgasmic sex partnership is to synchronize the ebbs and flows of your passion. Adjusting your pace — speeding up or slowing down — is the most obvious way to respond to each other’s energy currents.

But since excitement is a moving target, how to stay in sync with each other’s energy is bound to change and morph. For example, after a few peaks I get less sensitive. So we tend towards looser postures and a slower pace at first. I don’t stick with the same thrusting pattern for long. My wife has learned to love drawing out the build-up with lots of tantalizing variety instead of pushing to come right away. Then when my genital boil simmers down, I can speed up, thrust deeper, and give her spells of the more vigorous pumping she’s craving.

***

So there are the nine ways you can help your man last longer in bed. As you can see, extended coupling isn’t some silver bullet that one of you needs to learn how to shoot. Or not, as the case may be.

Is orgasmic sex natural? Well, the primal urge that makes beasts want to procreate might be. But the pursuit of maximum pleasure by conscious lovers isn’t. It’s a partnership that requires teamwork. It takes letting go of your fears and showing up fully. And it takes lots of experimenting, give and take, and practice.

I know this lovemaking style doesn’t match the fake-news porn-driven myth of animal lust that makes you both come in a couple minutes in a blaze of glory. When that rare fantasy comes true, enjoy it. But when it doesn’t, now you have nine things you can try so you’ll both get more of what you want.

Learning to make sex continuously orgasmic for long periods of time doesn’t come instantly. So expect that they’ll be fits and starts, ravings and stumblings, before you get it. It took us years to be able to do these nine things effortlessly. But isn’t lovemaking something that you’ll enjoy practicing no matter how well you do? It has been for us and continues to be after 21 years. And there’s no end to the orgasms in sight.

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

6 Levels of Orgasmic Sex

I’ve had a lot of exciting quickies in my five decades of making love. Of course, being a horny guy, I was usually the only one coming. Since I studied Tantra and learned to practice Orgasmic Sex, more often now I’m not the only one.

The latest study I read about quickies found that the average length of time between penetration and orgasm was 5.4 minutes. The article I read didn’t specify whose orgasm though. I’m guessing it was the guy’s.

Coming or not coming, quickies leave a lot on the table. In other words, if you’re seeking instant gratification and rush to the finish line, there’s a whole lot of fun that you’ll miss. But if you learn to edge, peak multiple times, and dance on the verge, you enter an entirely new realm that we call Orgasmic Sex.

Orgasmic Sex is ecstatic lovemaking that lasts longer than the average five or so minutes of play that’s focused on orgasm. Now you might be wondering why you might choose not to put all your focus on the climax. The answer is that Orgasmic Sex instead creates a level of passion that feels continuously orgasmic. If you could, wouldn’t you want the sublime peak of irresistible excitement that you feel right before the big ten-second explosion to continue? Like for 30 seconds, a minute, or many, many minutes? That’s the delicious promise of Orgasmic Sex.

And by taking your time and floating in that level of supreme bliss for what seems like forever, your ultimate orgasm will be so much more powerful and satisfying.

6 Levels

One major benefit of delaying the depleting explosion is that you get to experience an entirely new spectrum of sexual feelings. It’s like a door opens and you delerioulsy enter into the lost continent of pleasure.

You can only learn to revel in this new world when you gain mastery over your sexual energy. When you’re sexually turned on, you can feel a small trickle of nervous stimulation and physical excitation, alive, bubbling, moving, and vibrating inside you. We call it sexual energy when it charges your pleasure centers.

Sexual energy is the electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. 

It’s sexual energy that makes you feel excitement. So, of course, for Orgasmic Sex you want to amass as much as you can for as long as you can. As it turns out, there are six levels of excitement depending on how much sexual energy you’ve generated.

Those levels are…

1 Sensations

Level 1 is where you feel turn-on in various places around your body. That might seem like tingling or prickly heat or electrical charge. At first, these sensations are still and confined to your jewels (genitals).

2 Motion

As you build more sexual energy, your sensations begin to flow. Moving sensations feel like chills, hot flashes, goosebumps, or a current running inside. Sometimes energy expands in slow diffusion, waves, or blossoms. Expanding sexual energy out of your jewels is the key to full-body orgasms.

3 Vibration

With even more sexual energy, your body starts to vibrate. The moving sensations excite your nerves, muscles, and organs making them tremble, quiver, shiver, or pulsate.

4 Kriya

A kriya is an involuntary spontaneous twitch, jerk, or jolt of the body in response to the flow of sexual energy. Kriyas happen when more sexual energy than you’re used to settles in a muscle or organ and makes it react. An experienced Tantra teacher once told me that I wouldn’t have so many kriyas if I relaxed more. But sometimes that’s challenging when a sudden build-up of sensation and vibration hits you.

5 Shaking

When you experience a series of kriyas, your body starts shaking. This and the other levels only happen if you relax, surrender, and let the excitement flow through you. When you do, the intense sensations radiate all over and grip you in spasms of pleasure. A major skill that lovers develop through Tantric practice is called running energy where you consciously direct the lifeforce to spread and engulf you in continuous ecstatic shaking.

6 Streaming

When the sexual energy shaking you reaches an even higher level, it streams through you of its own accord. It’s like conscious swooning where you totally let go and levitate in the sexual ecstasy. Streaming energy feels like surges, gushes, floods, and eruptions of heat and electricity all throughout your body. Often the shaking at this level thrashes you around making you flail and jackknife.

Orgasm

Since all six levels are elements of Orgasmic Sex, you might predictably ask which is orgasm? Without going into the twelve types of orgasm here, it’s quite possible to have a sexual climax at any of them. Haven’t you had different kinds of orgasms, some ho-hum and others resounding? Of course, shaking and streaming orgasms at levels five and six are more powerful. But a sudden shock of still or moving sensations at the first two levels can still be profoundly exciting.

That’s because any peak experience can be deemed orgasmic. A sexual peak is a sudden upsurge of energy and sensation. How high do you have to fly to consider it an orgasm? If you don’t scream bloody murder and get thrown off the bed, don’t discount the powerful surge of pleasure at any level.

Sexologists define orgasm as the release of tension at the peak due to a strong upsurge of metabolism, breathing, and blood flow. But staying relaxed and not tensing up is a vital practice of Orgasmic Sex. When you don’t resist and tense up,  you fly higher and higher as your metabolic rate soars. We call these implosive peaks energy orgasms because the energy isn’t depleted but gets recycled instead.

We find that our early peaks usually begin at level one or two and move up to the vibration level at three. Sometime after passing the 5.4 minute worldwide average, our peaks start detonating with kriyas and shaking at four and five.

Everyone has their limits of stamina. In our seventies, after 30 to 60 minutes we either need to recharge our batteries with a refreshment break or totally go for a Big O and call it quits. When we choose, our ultimate explosive orgasms accompanied by ejaculation truly blow our minds.

Another way to look at the energy levels as if they were a smorgasbord. When you learn to bypass the quickie urge to come and enter the land of Orgasmic Sex, you have so many more tasty delights to enjoy.

 

Love, Somraj

Over the Top: Timing Is Everything When It Comes to Orgasm

Our lovemaking last night was interesting. And we coordinated even better this morning so that she could go over the top to orgasm.

This whole episode started yesterday evening as she got close. My natural reflex (and I think of a lot of guys) is to speed up when she approaches a sexual climax. But my Tantra training has taught me not to change anything as she’s peaking.

Now I realize that guideline can be confusing to lovers who’ve realized that women especially prefer lots of variety. Otherwise, after repeated strokes hitting one sweet spot (erogenous zone), her tissues get desensitized for a bit. So another part of my Tantric lovemaking repertoire is to change things up as I search for strokes and spots that generate the most passionate responses.

See, it’s all about timing. Vary your sexual moves most of the time, but keep on keeping on with what’s working when she’s getting close.

I thought I was following both guidelines during our evening delight. When the reaction to one stroke leveled or petered out, I would change the angle, depth, speed, or target. Everything seemed to be turning her on more and more since she was breathing deeper, moaning louder, and moving more erotically. As she peaked, she murmured “don’t change anything.” So I maintained the exact same thrusts that brought her near the edge.

Or at least I thought I did.

Unfortunately, it was my previous type of sexual stroke that was propelling her excitement upwards. You might have noticed that it’s sometimes hard to verbalize when passion is overwhelming your mind. She couldn’t get the words out fast enough last night. So by the time I heeded her guidance, I had already switched to a new kind of stroke. It was the last one she wanted me to continue. But I didn’t know that at the time.

Still, she came and loved it. But it seemed to both of us that, had I kept up the previous rhythm, the explosion would have been bigger and stronger. No point in being regretful about longing for what could have been. And it was all good, right? Besides, as we talked about what happened, we agreed there’s always tomorrow.

This morning things evolved in a similar way. But when she got near the edge this time, she simply said “slow.” Now, I’m pretty damned sure I was matching the speed her body wanted. She’s so passionate a lover that her body language was clearly communicating what was turning her on. So it seemed to me that we were in sync when she said “slow.” Regardless, from her point of view I was going too fast.

Fortunately, ego plays little part in our sexual play. So I slowed down and she had a big roaring over-the-top orgasm. Probably a whole new one, not a leftover from last night.

I’ve done this a lot of times on my own as she peaked. Apparently, when the thrusting slows it makes her push herself over the precipice. This time she asked for it and it was exactly the right thing.

If you want a moral to the story, here it is. For orgasmic sex, you have to monitor each other and communicate to stay in sync. You may follow some patterns that have worked in the past, but even more you have to stay present in the moment. Be easy, have fun, and enjoy yourself all you can.

 

Love, Somraj

Orgasmic Sex Play-By-Play (X-Rated)

Unusually, it had been a few days since we made love so we were way hot for each other. Before diving in, we exchanged some sweet everythings and slow sensual massage. We call light all-body caresses with consciousness, “Tantric Touch.”

That’s all it took for our jewels (genitals) to get erect.

We moved to the next level when, with her permission, I put my vajra (penis) inside her. My hard-on descended slowly and shallowly at first. When, after a few initial thrusts, her body language made it clear that she was craving more, I gradually stroked faster and deeper. That propelled us to the next level. Our excitement propelled us to alternate at higher and higher peaks.

Sometimes her G-spot near the opening of her yoni (vagina) prefers to be rubbed or rammed directly. But this time deeper thrusts were producing stronger reactions. She’s so passionate that there’s no doubt what she wants most in each moment.  How loud her moans are, how heavy her breathing is, and how strongly she pushes back tells me more than words could. I call passionate lovers like this responsive.

For fun, instead of having my thrusts penetrate straight in, I rotated my pelvis down so my vajra was entering from below. This prodded the upper wall of her yoni all the way in near the neck of the bladder. Sexologists call that the A-spot where the A stands for anterior. The A-spot is near the fabled G-spot but much further inside. She liked those strokes, but it didn’t make her wail and flail. I love to make her crazy.

I switched by rotating my pelvis upward which aimed my vajra downward as far as it would go into her cul-de-sac. That’s the little crevice behind the cervix up against the womb. Her deeper breathing and louder moans told me that these thrusts made her peaks more dramatic.

But I had a problem. All this energetic in-and-out pushed me too close to the edge of coming. Each time I pushed my cockhead into her cul-de-sac, I almost came. (I’ve always been ultra-sensitive but fortunately Tantra training taught me how to handle the intense precipices of sexual energy.) I had to back off the speed and depth of my thrusts so I could hover on the edge of the cliff without losing it. That’s how I’ve learned to last most of the time as long as we both want. Unfortunately backing off a bit reduced her excitement.

But no worries. We like to dance on the verge for an hour or more at a time. The point where I had to slow up was maybe after a half-an-hour of jewel union (sexual intercourse). In the long run, though, everything worked out perfectly.

Up to this point I had been Tri-Fingering her clio (clitoris) while my vajra was sliding in and out of her yoni. You see, studies have shown that 70% of women need clio stimulation for maximum turn-on and orgasm. She’s one of them most of the time.

Tri-Fingering is my name for using three fingers on her clio. To do that during jewel union, I put my two middle fingers of one hand on either side of my thrusting cock and rub her pussy lips. At the same time with my index finger, I massage her clio.

In spite of her still wanting more (I love that about her), my fingers started to get tired. So she grabbed one of her favorite little vibrators called the Tiani from Lelo, the great Swedish sex toy company. It’s a U-shape with a vibrating bulb in one end that her clio loves. The other end is a little flat prong that inserts into her yoni. Amazingly it holds the Tiani in place so we can go at it hands free.

More bad news. As usual, the inserted prong made penetration tighter. At that moment I was too sensitive for more excitement. When I explained, she just held the vibe on her clio. That made her passion ramp up again. And allowed us to have lots more fun surfing up and down many waves of pleasure.

If you’re into long Orgasmic Sex like we are, you learn that nothing seems to keep producing the same passion for long. Psychologists call it habituation when the sensitivity of tissues gets accustomed to the same repeated stimulation.

When her clio got habituated, she switched to another longtime favorite, the white Pocket Rocket. It’s a slender 3-inch cylinder powered by just one AA battery.  The white one is a few years old and has lost some of its punch. But there’s something about its frequency that’s perfectly tuned to her clio. Someday I hope to sponsor a scientific study of vibration characteristics. I never see manufacturers specifying vibe strength and frequency.

Anyway, whitey on her clit sent her off into a few more cycles of skimming pleasure crests which I happily followed.

Now the good news heading into 45 minutes of coupling was that my sensitivity started to level out. The peaks weren’t threatening to make me loose it as much. So I could stick to my gun, I mean the rhythm that was bringing her close to a climax.

I guess her peaks were leveling a bit too as we approached an hour. Since we play this way on average every other day, we don’t always demand an explosive release. You see, the peaks are so exciting and propagate so much energy through and between our bodies that physical orgasm isn’t always necessary. That’s why we call it Orgasmic Sex instead of sex pressuring us both towards with orgasm. The orgasmic sensations go on and on unlike just a few seconds of them.

We usually play in rounds (yeah, like boxers but much less violent) that typically last 30 to 60 minutes. Sure, sometimes we have shorter quickies. Our longies string together several rounds of going at it like that.

Sorry, I don’t have a name for one round like we were enjoying. A mediumie? No, not a great term. Can you suggest a better one?

As we neared the end of this round she clearly wanted to go over the top. I realized that when she grabbed her newest Pocket Rocket. Since it’s purple, we call it Miss Violet. I bought several different ones from Amazon so we’d have a backup to the aging whitey. It turned out they were all from the same manufacturer in China. The fresh Miss Violet packs a stronger punch and added what she needed for an explosive climax.

It was a classic blended orgasm. That’s one triggered by hitting two sweet spots (erogenous zones) at once. In this case my vajra pumping in and out of the cul-de-sac inside her yoni and Miss Violet on clio’s pearl (erect tip).

Even with all that stimulation, the rhythm of my strokes had to be perfect. Moments when I had to back off interrupted her ascent. But finally I was able to keep on keeping on as she approached climax. Maybe the fourth or fifth peak triggered her explosive orgasm or what we like to call a Big O.

Do you ever pull out right away after coming? We don’t. Orgasmic Sex is such a connection of multiple energy streams that we much prefer to keep my shrinking vajra inside as long as possible.

At first she needs me to be still as the sensations sweep through her. Plus, staying inside allows us to enjoy aftershocks. Sometimes they’re just an involuntary twitch as the energy boils over. But after a couple moments I like to give her another slow stroke. That often triggers a mini-orgasm like it did this time. Actually that worked three or four more times until she was totally spent.

I know we’re there when she covers her suddenly hyper-sensitive clio with hand or pulls away.

And if you’re wondering, no, I didn’t come. The multiple high peaks of pleasure are thoroughly satisfying to me. And in my seventies ejaculating releases too much energy. That can leave me out of the game sometimes for a few days. Taoist physicians specify that at my age I should never come. But I’m a Tantric which means the only rules I follow are what works for my body. At this point it’s been quite a few weeks since I made a big wet spot. Well see when it asks for. I love that preservingjy sexual energy this way  keeps my old body horny, hard, and desiring more.

Well, that’s one of our Tantric mottos: more, More, MORE! I hope you have fun going for more like I’ve just described.

 

 

Love, Somraj

 

 

 

P.S. Many of these techniques are excerpted from our new book, Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex, which will be published by Llewellyn Worldwide next spring. If you’re interested, make a comment below or shoot me an email here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/somrajemailform.htm

Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed

The average length of sexual encounters is 5 to 10 minutes. Totally understandable because it’s so exciting. I often get swept away into a blaze of glory, too.

But when someone practices extended energy sex routinely as I do, they enter a totally different zone. By surfing from peak to peak of startling excitement instead of exploding, the whole experience changes. It changes from instant gratification to seeing how high I can make every cell in my body.

Until I dedicated myself to prolonging my pleasure, I barely noticed the currents of sensation streaming throughout my body.

In Tantra we call it sexual energy. My latest book Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines it this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

During my recent self-pleasuring sessions, I’ve been watching the ebbs and flows and movement of sexual energy. While surfing from crest to crest of pleasure peaks, I’ve become more aware of what’s actually happening in my body.

Sexual Electricity

I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle.

When I channel the sexual energy away from my jewels, it feels like electricity running through the rest of my body. 

The more aware of sexual electricity I am, the longer I can make the zenith of pleasure last. You know, that irresistible force right before you come that feels so amazing.

By opening the energy conduits, I can spread the excitement which allows me to go higher for longer than I ever imagined. Feeling like I’m coming continuously. Orgasms that last so much longer than the typical 10-second sneeze. Sometimes minutes or more.

I guess that makes me a sexual electrician.

It’s a job title I’ve long aspired to. And a badge of office I will wear proudly. That’s because it’s sexual electricity that makes sex feel so sensational.

If you’re interested, here’s my first course outline for Sexual Electricity 101. It’s the primer for orgasmic sex leading to full-body orgasm. Hopefully appearing soon at major universities and elementary schools everywhere.

Your Sexual Energy Generator

Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create.

It feels so fucking good that you want more. And want it to last.

But it’s so intense when it’s compressed into the small zone of your groin. So you spread it. The buzzing and sizzling of your tissues widens and expands. This makes more of your body feel sensational.

And without all of your body feeling sensational, full-body orgasm is unlikely.

When I say “sensational,” I don’t just mean super exciting. I mean bubbling and percolating, roiling and boiling, and overflowing with sensation.

That’s what happens when the sexual electricity flows through your organs, muscles, and bones. Your nerves vibrate making your organs quiver, your muscles shiver, and your bones pulse. And the more all of this happens, the stronger the sensations.

So when you consciously open the energy valves, these sensations stream up and down your body. Ever curled your toes while coming? Ever felt your knees quake? Ever felt your legs bouncing off the bed? Well, that’s the energy descending.

Since there’s a lot more of you from the waist up, you need even more rising energy to blow your mind. To make your heart beat faster, your fingertips spark, your eyes roll, and your scalp tingle.

Sexual Electricity Patterns

I find sexual electricity follows certain patterns when it rises through me.

To understand them, let’s review what Thomas Edison discovered. When electrons flow in one direction through a wire from a battery to a light bulb, we call it DC or direct current.

I don’t really know the complete physics of sexual electricity, but to continue my lesson let’s just assume there are sexual elections. Little particles of energy that excite what they land on.

Edison found that more electrons were lost and waisted when DC had to travel longer. So he used AC, alternating current, when the electrons jiggle back and forth without moving too far. If you’ve ever been shocked from an appliance in your home, you’ve felt AC. Your nerves and muscles pulsate intensely without going anywhere. That’s why it’s hard to let go.

When you open the floodgates around your jewels, sexual energy flows out. This electrical current follows nerves and more subtle channels like the ones acupuncturists and Tantric adepts work with.

I can actually feel the prickly sensations in my crotch soften as the current moves up and down. That’s what makes other parts of my body turn-on.

When my channels fill with sexual electricity, it feels like AC current to me. The parts of my body affected quiver and quake with pleasure.

Amps Versus Volts

Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.

Amps measures how much current is flowing. How many sexual electrons have you generated and directed somewhere.

Or to use the analogy of a river, amperage is how much water is flowing. How wide and deep the river is. The bigger the channel, the stronger the sensations spreading to the extremities.

When I only generate a little sexual electricity, I might not even get hard. With more current, I might find my skin tingling a few places. With top output, my whole body shakes and vibrates with heat and magnetism.

It’s as if there’s a conduit of sexual electricity from head to toe pulsing like a guitar string. Or a smaller banjo string. Or a larger bass fiddle string.

Sometimes I can keep that peak flow going for 30 to 60 minutes without stopping. Other less-exciting times it surges for a few seconds or minutes. One of my favorites is when a ball of sexual energy seems to erupt with an expanding blossom of sensation. Like a pleasure grenade exploding in different spots inside.

Sometimes that erotic current reaches my legs, my chest, my neck, my head. I can actually feel the sensations streaming from my groin.

When I can keep the flow going for some minutes, I can sense the sexual elections moving continuously. Other times I feel pulses and surges following my energy channels. From inside they look like streamers of fire that can erupt into fireworks.

We can’t ignore sexual magnetism while we’re at it. Did you know that an electric current creates magnetism? So when you’re flowing sexual energy, it magnetizes your skin, muscles, and bones. This force not only energizes your passion, but also attracts others. Maybe it’s part of the pheromone phenomenon.

Sexual Volts

Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ.

Obviously, most of us need high voltage to reach orgasm. Without enough sexual charge, your chances for full-body orgasm are slim.

When your sexual voltage is high, it pushes the sensations faster and further around your body. That is, as long as there’s enough energy to excite everywhere it touches.

Sexual voltage tends to dissipate unless it’s continuously reinforced. So most of the time when you’re still during sex, your excitement gradually decreases. And the faster you go, the more intense the electrical charge you build .

Confining your sexual electricity in a relatively small space, like your loins, keeps the voltage high. So your sensations are stronger. Spreading it all over tends to lower the excitement.

Now if you can generate enough sexual electricity to fill your whole body at high voltage, you’ll almost levitate with passion.

Sexual Watts

Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms.

You calculate sexual watts — the impact of your experience — by multiplying amps times volts. So the more current you’re generating at higher voltages, the more intense your passion.

Now it’s natural, as you first get turned-on, to push against the erotic current. By tensing up, a skilled sexual electrician is trying to confine the electricity to a smaller space. This increases the voltage so your sensations are more intense. That’s partly why doing pelvic muscle exercises can strengthen your pleasure and orgasms.

But when you tense up while turned-on, you reduce the current flow.

As a sexual electrician’s arousal rises and their loins erupt into a sizzling pot of sexual excitement, they relax and consciously open the valves. The electricity flows out. How turned on they get all over their body depends on how much current and how charged the voltage they’ve generated. The sexual watts — amps times volts — determines how much sensation the rest of their body feels.

Why would you want to fill your whole body with a huge volume of high-voltage sexual electricity?

Why, for full-body orgasms of course. Try it, you’ll like it.

No Doubt There’s More to Come

I hope this primer inspires you to practice managing your sexual electricity.

I’ve called it the 101 entry level course because my intuition suggests there’s lots more to learn. I’m looking forward to my coming practice sessions.

I hope you are, too.

Love, Somraj

Sexual Energy Orbits: How to Catapult Yourselves up to the Most Sensational Pleasure Zones

Something magical has been happening to us lately when we make love. Often we’re catapulted to a pleasure state where everything feels sensational. And just keeps feeling that way.

We started talking about it on the seventeenth floor of a hotel this last weekend. That was after a long afternoon in which every round of sex launched us up to this lofty level of passion.

Each time the day before it only took a few strokes after first penetration. Suddenly we found ourselves propelled into a higher sexual energy orbit. Our hunger for each other and our sensations abruptly became more intense and stayed that way as long as we coupled.

I’ve written a lot recently about riding up and down pleasure peaks. (Click here to read my latest post, Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks: How to Use Them to Trigger Different Kinds of Orgasms.)

But this higher orbit was different. It was more like a stable plateau where the sexual electricity just kept flowing of its own accord.

I liken these orbits to the energy states of electrons spinning around an atom’s nucleus. The innermost electrons have the lowest energy and the furthest have the most. We were certainly soaring in some rarified atmosphere.

My conclusion was obvious. Pump more energy into bodies spinning in sexual delight and they ascend to a higher orbit. It’s like the game changes when we land in an elevated new playing field.

Of course the game I’m talking about is exchanging pleasure. In the higher orbit we move way past the opening gambits of foreplay that are
dedicated to getting each other fully aroused and erect. This applies to women as well as men as my previous post explained (Full-Body Erections: He and She Both Need One for Satisfying Sexual Penetration and All 12 Types of Orgasm).

What’s It Like In A Higher Orbit?

In the higher state it’s amazing how much more we feel. And how many different sensations we experience. Our bodies become more sensitive and more receptive. It feels like more cells are awake and vibrating, sending off their own streamers of sexual electricity.

Can cells actually orgasm? It sure feels like it.

After we settle into the higher orbit, we feel our sensory fields open to a wider spectrum of sensations. And the impact of those sensations is dramatically magnified. To get the idea, imagine you’re looking through a telescope at one spot on the moon and all at once your vision widens to cover the whole moon. And that’s happening to your sense of touch, smell, taste, and hearing at the same time.

It’s like going from black and white to color. Like jumping from two dimensions to three. Like flying where we were once walking.

It seems to me that our pleasure becomes more intense in a higher orbit due to the continuous streaming of sexual passion. Because the current is steady we don’t have to work at it. Any touch, lick, or stroke seems to detonate ecstasy grenades like splashes in a still lake. And without anything in the way, they keep rebounding.

Every bit of arousal is preserved and amplified. The sexual electromagnetism is flooding strongly through and between us. But since there’s little resistance, the surface of the pond remains still while the current below is gets stronger.

Oddly enough, in the higher orbit our desire is supercharged. We love what we’re feeling yet we want more, More, MORE!

How Can You Launch Yourselves To A Higher Sexual Orbit?

Maybe you’ve unexpectedly found yourselves in a higher sexual energy orbit and loved it. But don’t for a moment believe that you have no control over launching yourselves into a loftier zone.

Before our Tantra training we typically rushed towards maximum turn-on and orgasm. And usually missed. Now, after nearly twenty years of practice, we instead build, conserve, and make our sexual energy last. Sure, sometimes we slow down. But lots of the time we pump away as frantically as any wild animal.

Whatever we’re doing, we instinctively spread the excitement in our jewels (genitals) all throughout our bodies. Our aim is to pump passion into our pleasure balloons, those energy bubbles that normally stay collapsed in our groins. That is, until we expand them to fill the field that surrounds us.

That’s how we get all our cells, organs, and tissues turned-on. It’s rare for us to soar to a higher orbit before we’re sizzling, vibrating, and shaking all over.

Because we don’t always release lots of sexual energy in premature explosive orgasm, we often move there quickly without much warmup. It seems like the excitement is still percolating below the surface from our last session a day or two earlier.

Other times we have to consciously manage our pleasure peaks. As we reach for more and more turn-on, we let the peaks come and go as they will. We ride the upswells and relax into the down-swells without fighting them.

It’s normal for lovers untrained in this ancient art of spiritual energy sex to tense up when hit with sudden surges of excitement. A sudden influx of sexual electricity can shock even the strongest of us. Many feel they have to control it or regulate it or push to make something happen when they’re inundated by such intense sensations.

But we don’t resist. We relax, let go, and surrender to the power coursing through us.

The gurus say that surrendering is the key to transforming pleasure into sexual ecstasy. From our extensive research in our bed, we’ve found that letting go is the portal into higher orbits of passion.

As our pleasure balloons expand to fill our whole bodies, our peaks rise higher and stretch out. The sensations at the summits get stronger at the same time as the descents mellow. This skill of peaking causes these high points to coalesce into plateaus.

Then, at some point, there’s this boom that seems to levitate us. It feels like the flood gates open and pour huge amounts of sexual energy into our inner rivers. That’s what fuels us scaling above the peaks into the higher orbit.

How Can Sexual Techniques Help You Reach Higher Orbits?

Now I realize what I’ve written so far has mostly been energy theory. Yet, the sexual techniques we employ have a lot to do with our reaching ecstatic states. If you’re interested, you’ll want to discover what works best for you and your partner. Here are some vital fundamentals.

Stimulating a woman’s nineteen erogenous zones and a man’s nine is essential. Changing speed, depth, length, and angle of sexual strokes affects a lover’s level of arousal. All of that requires reading each other in order to respond with what produces the biggest jolt at each moment. That might include a hand, a mouth, or a sex toy depending on what each prefers in the moment.

Many sexologists frequently urge lovers to address the biggest sex organ, namely all of the skin. We agree wholeheartedly as they ascend to a higher orbit. But once there following what the body wants works better than hard and fast rules.

We find that the jewels, being so sexually responsive, are the passion generating engines. So, as we’re touching, licking, and stroking in-and-out, we’re directing the sexual electricity to fill the whole body.

You’ve probably realized that different lovers respond to different moves. My wife Jeffre, for example, finds that spreading her legs invites me all the way inside her. It’s more than my hard organ going deeper. The physical action prompts the energetic opening.

For both of us, titillating a second orgasmic trigger boosts the energy current. In our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making we call this a “hot link.” You open a passion circuit inside when the energy generated in two or more sensitive pleasure spots coalesce.

I do this by playing with her nipples or clio (clitoris) while we’re making love. She does that by caressing my balls or backdoor. We found a startling rise in our excitement this weekend when we kissed while our jewels were sliding in and out.

Creating hot links is the key to one of the 12 major types of orgasm, the blended one. This is where you climax in two places at once like the clio and G-Spot.

Is This Something You Want To Practice Like We Do?

We’re always disheartened when we hear longterm lovers who get bored or disinterested in sex. After twenty years, we experience more sensational pleasure every time we make love. Maybe the above energy practices explain why.

Our pleasure receivers are better tuned to each other. We’re better at knowing what we want, asking for it, and letting each know how it’s working. We spend a fair share of our awareness reading each other, tuning in to what produces the biggest impacts, and synchronizing our lovemaking.

I’d be lying if I let you think that our life in bed as well as out of it is a perfect dance. But with these tools we’re more in harmony more of the time. And we can easily get back in sync on the higher orbit launching pad.

It’s so much fun, who wouldn’t want to practice, practice, practice.

Hopefully these observations will help you soar in higher orbits more of the time.

Love, Somraj

Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks: How to Use Them to Trigger Different Kinds of Orgasms (X-Rated)

We had a great 12 hour sex party with a favorite girlfriend and a favorite boyfriend yesterday. We’re so close and trusting and intimate that the ecstasy and the laughter was life-altering.

And I learned even more about what happens with sexual energy during peaking. That’s the sudden ascent followed by the sudden descent of your turn-on. I’ve been studying pleasure peaks lately and just wrote what I thought was the definitive guide here. But we all had so many of them that I couldn’t help seeing deeper into what happens.

Even all being so turned on, we started out without many sharp, jarring peaks. I’m not just talking about first penetration. In our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric LoveMaking we devote a whole chapter to initial entry because it’s so critical to create an energetic connection before the action heats up. Yes, I’m referring to when his vajra (penis) first enters her yoni (vagina).

Sometimes the first strokes create off-the-charts sexual electricity. But yesterday we weren’t in any hurry and found the first few minutes enjoyable but not explosive. When you’re Tantrically-trained as we all are, we can devote a long time to savoring the delicious sensations without rushing.

Then the first pleasure spike hit me. Because I was so relaxed, I could see the sexual energy blossoming in vajra’s head as my excitement rose. After a few up-down cycles driven by many in-out cycles, I noticed the blossoming energy created a current. I could call it a flow of sexual electricity or use many other poetic images. But simply I could feel this hot buzzing sensation pulsing the end of my love tool. That was way real, not just some artistic reference or scientific factoid.

As our lovemaking continued, the sexual charge intensified. What I was feeling was more heat spreading down my shaft and into my G-Spot (prostate gland). When more energy infused my prostate, the tops of the peaks felt like bursts of fire in this orgasm-central gland. Undoubtedly it’s these intense G-Spot bursts that make many men come before they want to.

It occurred to me that some pleasure peaks are more physical in nature while others are more energetic. Of course, it’s sexual energy that creates all the great feelings of any kind of sex anywhere around the body. But what I’ve just described is what happens when you stimulate physical erogenous zones. In other words, hit the physical trigger and for sure you’ll generate sexual energy.

I wondered if some sexual peaks are triggered by energy first. I was sure this had happened to me a lot when I wasn’t paying much attention to these erotic physics. Sex can be way distracting, right? So I decided to play with the dense charge that the sexual strokes was creating. That was partly because the excitement in my vajra at the top of the peaks was getting too close to comfort. I needed to do something to prevent myself from ejaculating prematurely.

What I chose to do was spread the excitement up the central channel from my crotch to my heart. To do that I consciously used the 5 cruxes of ecstasy (breath, sound, movement, presence, and visualization) described in that previous blog post. (It’s entitled The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy.) At the next peak I felt a flare of sexual energy shoot up my body. After a couple more energy flares, my whole body started to tingle and vibrate like my cockhead alone did moments before.

These were peaks triggered by me intentionally moving energy, not just from sexual friction around my most sensitive pleasure spots.

By the way, spreading energy upwards like this is the secret to having full-body orgasms. Even though it wasn’t a full-blown climax this time, that’s what it felt like to my body. Have you ever found that what you were sharing felt so good that you never wanted it to stop? Sure you have. Well, that’s where I was.

After what seemed like nearly forever I noticed my sweetie making those sharp breaths and jerky movements that signals she’s close. I don’t know if this is your experience, but it’s much easier to get her close to coming than push her over the edge. So I thought I’d see if the high-voltage sexual charge in my vajra would help.

I visualized that the dense energy in vajra’s head started sending off sparks and bursts and flares into her yoni. Her reaction was instantaneous. One of the truly wonderful things about my beloved is that she wears her arousal on her sleeve. Sorry, bad idiom, as we were both naked. What I mean is that she makes how she’s feeling crystal clear. So there was no doubt in my mind that she was jolted by the streams of energy I was shooting into her yoni.

Sometimes we can hover on the edge of a Big O for many minutes. You know, approaching the brink and them inexplicably backing off. But not this time. I think all it took was two deep strokes of my vajra while it streamed sexual electricity. Suddenly she started to come. So I followed one of the 17 Orgasm Principles laid out in our new ebook. Namely, I didn’t change a thing. I maintained the same stroke speed, depth, angle, and pressure. And I kept directing energy bursts inside her.

Would you agree that my experiment was successful? I used sexual energy to trigger a resounding pleasure peak powerful enough to call it an explosive orgasm.

I’m really looking forward to more experiments soon. Once we both recover from yesterday’s marathon.

Love, Somraj

The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy

I still remember the homework that our Tantra instructor assigned us years ago. Pleasure yourself to a peak but back off without coming. Do it at least three times.

Back then this oversexed guy had no concept about delaying orgasm and extending lovemaking. But this three-peaks exercise completely changed my life. To be more specific, my sex life.

A sexual peak is when your excitement spikes before it drops suddenly. It’s when your turn-on suddenly shoots upward and bounces you off the bed. Sometimes it feels like you’re momentarily levitating before the eruption calms.

A peak is like a mini-orgasm that may lead to a Big O.

Obviously these are wonderful gifts we are all grateful for. Except when they make the guy come too soon. Or when a series of them drains the woman’s vital essence making it harder for her to come.

Lovers like us who specialize in orgasmic sex — having all the intense feelings as if we were coming the whole time — apply the skill of peaking every time we make love. That’s the conscious ability to manage the rising and falling of arousal.

Mastering Peaking

When you master the skill of peaking, you can float on the precipice where the pleasure is most intense. I call it dancing on the verge which you can do for minutes or more at a time. You might have heard of “edging,” that’s backing off when you get to close to coming. Both edging and dancing on the verge are two of the many peaking techniques which are vital tools of orgasmic sex.

Now you might ask what’s wrong with letting it all hang out and going for it. Well, nothing if you’re both so hot that all you crave is the explosive release of a quickie.

But all too often quickies drop you into the orgasm gap. That’s the well-documented phenomenon of him climaxing much more quickly than her. Further, it may cut your hard-to-come-by playtime short.

Once, after a weeklong business trip, we made a nest in front of the fireplace so we could enjoy hours of orgasmic sex. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), we were both so horny that we couldn’t last more than a few minutes. So we came together in an earth-shattering blaze of glory. The funniest part was our golden retriever putting his snout between our faces and howling right along with us. To be sure, an awesome moment. But we were hard pressed to get as turned-on for the next few hours.

To if you want to overcome premature ejaculation, build more excitement for bigger or easier orgasms, or make it last longer, you may want to get good at peaking.

Anatomy Of A Sexual Peak

To learn peaking, it helps to understand what’s happening with your sexual energy. Sexual energy is the electromagnetic life force in your body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers normally feel it as nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and spreading sensations.

So obviously building enough sexual energy is what causes a peak of pleasure.

Every sexual stroke — be it by hand, mouth, toy, or jewel (genital) penetration — creates a flow of passion current just like the output from an electrical generator. Some strokes may trigger energy blossoms that shoot streamers throughout your body. Some feel like fireworks exploding inside. Others feel like the hot cascades of an erotic waterfall.

If all the sexual energy you generate stays in your most erogenous zones around your crotch, the sensation is way intense. Too much concentrated energy is what makes men come uncontrollably before they’re ready. And by confining the fire around the jewels, it typically doesn’t lead to full-body orgasms.

This may not sound like much of a problem for you if you’re a multi-orgasmic woman, assuming your partner can keep up with you. It’s just that putting all your attention on orgasm can distract you from enjoying the journey. You know, taking time to smell the roses.

And when smelling the roses feels like the most powerful erotic explosion you’ve ever had, you don’t want it to end too soon.

Fill Your Pleasure Balloon

For perpetual orgasmic sex, lovers need to manage the energy build-up before and the release after the peak. And instead of wasting the passion, channel it to fill the whole body.

I use the analogy of the pleasure balloon to help understand how peaking works. Your pleasure balloon is an imaginary energy bubble inside your body that limits and regulates your capacity to feel. At rest, the pleasure balloon is collapsed around your jewels. As you get excited and sexual energy fills your container, it expands spreading the yummy sensations. If you fill it rapidly, it can pop, wasting all that life-giving passion before you’re ready to break.

But if you change your focus to pumping sexual energy into your pleasure balloon, sex becomes more erotic, more intense, and longer lasting. You shift from pushing for or avoiding the Big O to enjoying the trancey feeling of lightness and the percolating sensations of pleasure all over.

It’s your pleasure balloon — the energy bubble filling your whole body — that makes you feel like you’re levitating.

When you’re enjoying orgasmic sex, you maintain the feeling that the tidal wave of sexual energy causes just before a huge climax. You float on the edge of the cliff without sliding over.

Are you getting just a little bit interested in using those electric sexual strokes to hover at sexual peaks while you fill your pleasure balloon instead of keeping your accelerator floored?

How To Peak

I’m a guy with a college-trained brain that needs formulas to remember things. So I use the 5 S’s to describe peaking. These were first described in my ebook Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery which later came out in print as Male Multiple Orgasm. The 5 S’s are…

  • Stop
  • Slow
  • Switch
  • Sound
  • Spread.

If you feel like you’re about to be catapulted uncontrollably over the precipice, you don’t need a college degree to figure out you should stop moving. If it’s the friction on your jewels that is pumping that sexual electricity into your pleasure balloon, turn off the generator for a moment. Duh!

Of course, when those urges are driving you, that’s sometimes easier said than done. But managing peaks usually starts by learning to how stop moving altogether. If you’re with a partner, this may not be the most popular technique but it is fundamental step on the peaking learning curve.

When you do stop in the middle of the action, you’ll take a break in funneling sexual energy into your pleasure balloon. This should make your sensations subside. I find if I take a couple deep breaths and relax as much as possible, I can reset for another ascent pretty quickly.

Sometimes the dip in excitement isn’t instantaneous. Your arousal might keep rising for a bit as you get still. That’s why a major part of each lover’s learning curve has to do with timing. But stopping is reliable at slowing the sharp ascent. And you may find the crest rounding a bit as your excitement settles down.

Slowing And Switching

When you have success with stopping, it shouldn’t be a great leap to softening your peaks by slowing. Again, this should be pretty straightforward. If you’re stroking in and out once every 2 seconds, try one every 3, 4, or 5 seconds. It’s not that different than stopping for a count of two before your next stroke.

If stopping and slowing are elementary school techniques, when you’re ready to master switching you’ve graduated to high school. Switching simply means changing what you’re doing. Change the depth, angle, or pressure of your strokes. Shift sexual positions so the friction is less or creates different sensations.

One advanced way of switching is to adjust the pattern of your strokes. For example, if you’re making two deep pumps followed by one shallow, change to one deep and two shallow. That assumes shallower strokes are less arousing at that moment. If the reverse is true for you, well, reverse them.

As you learn switching, you’ll probably find some stroking adjustments will feel more exciting and might push you over the edge. All in the learning curve, baby. But gradually you’ll discover ways to adjust your lovemaking to ease your peaking without stopping or slowing.

Even Higher Sexual Education

The last two of the 5 S’s, sounding and spreading, are definitely the arena of higher sexual education. That’s because they deal with regulating the generation and flow of sexual energy directly. While most women tend to grasp this ability more readily than most men, it’s a major shift for most lovers.

Sounding simply means to make love sounds. Frankly, that can include any kind of noise. You know, sighs, moans, groans, shrieks, and screams. Personally, I find that I can use my voice to release a sudden surge of energy as I’m rising to a peak. Growling seems to be most effective for me.

Again, most women are better at this than macho guys trained in the stoic school of acting. Might there be a connection in the fact that these women seem more passionate than their men of few words?

The last S, spreading, is the province of sexual energy Ph.D. candidates. By the way, this last S doesn’t mean spreading your legs. Spreading is all about moving the energy out of your jewels or wherever it’s concentrated at the moment. It means consciously funneling it into your pleasure balloon so it expands to fill your whole body.

The Five Cruxes of Ecstasy


Masters of orgasmic sex develop the capacity to manage their sexual energy. In our latest ebook,
Long Hot Tantric Love Making, we present the five tools for doing this: breath, sound, movement, visualization, and presence. We call them the Cruxes of Ecstasy. The first three S’s were all about movement, and we just explained how sounding functions to release too-intense energy bursts.

Another movement that’s very effective in moving sexual energy is the PC pump. PC stands for the pubococcygeal muscles that support the pelvic floor. You might have heard them called “Kegels” after the obstetrician who developed exercises for women after childbirth. When your PC muscles are strong and toned, squeezing them pumps energy up out of your jewels and into your pleasure balloon. Very effective for guys, too.

Using the breath is one of the most powerful tools descended from Eastern yogis and Tantric adepts. To slow the rise towards the peak, breathe deeper and slower in the belly. To let the energy shoot upwards, breathe faster. You may find the same thing happens when you hold your breath.

As your awareness and sensitivity of sexual energy increases, you’ll be able to make it expand, contract, and move simply by visualizing it. After twenty years of practice, I often find I can boost one of my ebbs or calm one of my hyper moments through intention alone.

If this sounds challenging, you’ll understand why I call it graduate level education. But it’s not that difficult if you have a seasoned teacher. In ancient times disciples had to apprentice to a master for years and years to receive these secrets. Back then, one-on-one worked best to provide the discipline and personalized coaching necessary to refine these skills.

But without the last cruz of ecstasy, presence, the journey to orgasmic energy mastery will be overly long and less likely of success. Presence means being present here and now. Being conscious, being aware, being mindful.

Our presence curriculum starts with relaxation, continues with improving sensitivity, and in the end becomes surrender. Not in the sense of giving up the fight but in the sense of letting things go and letting whatever is going to happen happen.

You can’t control sexual energy with an iron fist. You have to guide it subtly and let it do it’s thing. That’s one of the main reasons orgasmic sex only succeeds when you have no goal of orgasm and no rote agenda to get there.

Mastering Your Sexual Peaks

Learn to spread sexual energy and you will easily become the master of your peaks.

At first, you’ll find the ups and downs steep and the crest quite sharp with a few-second break between. I call those masculine peaks. But as you develop the skills of the five S’s, you’ll learn to rise and fall more slowly. You’ll be able to boost the summit’s height when you choose and lower it when you need to.

Eventually you’ll find your arousal won’t dip down as far. You’ll find your sharp peaks becoming more rounded and morphing into extended plateaus. These are more feminine peaks.

Maybe the most sought-after benefit of peaking is having an energy orgasm. That’s where you have all the physical sensations of orgasm without releasing much sexual energy. Or semen for guys. In an energy orgasm you might find yourself jackknifing, crying out, and vibrating all over. It feels like every cell is coming. When this happens in an extended plateau, I call it the orgasm zone or O-Zone for short.

I’ve blogged about all of this a lot. If you want to go deeper, check out these two earlier posts…

Or for the full training program to become a sexual energy aficionado, download a copy of our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

If this raises any questions, please comment below and I’ll answer them right away.

Until next time.

Love, Somraj