Sympathetic Orgasm: Coming Together Without Sexual Contact

Coming together is one of the great joys of jewel union (sexual intercourse). But how often does it really happen?

If you ask guys with egos (a high percentage undoubtedly), they would say almost all the time. But we probably can’t trust that percentage since those are the same guys who are unaware when their partners are faking it. Doing a Google search doesn’t turn up any reliable scientific studies on the subject of simultaneous orgasm. Guess it’s pretty hard to verify if you care about accuracy like scientists usually do.

There have been repeated reliable studies that show that it takes the average man five to ten minutes to climax, and the average woman twenty to forty minutes. So except for those rare guys who can get it up again real quickly unlike me, it seems very unlikely that lots of couples are detonating at the same time.

Our simultaneous explosive orgasms happen maybe once a month now. Which isn’t very often considering that we typically make love three times a week. At least one of those weekly dates lasts a few hours. So we can estimate that we have a Big O together after dozens of hours of going at it.

I’m not complaining or looking for a sympathetic “too bad!” because this is intentional. You see, we always have lots and lots of different kinds of orgasms. But just not the explosive sort where I, the male partner, ejaculates.

My ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making groups orgasms into four categories: male physical, female physical, expanded, and energetic. The physical ones include ejaculation and muscle contractions along with the other great sensations we all crave. Expanded ones include multiples, blended ones from two or more erogenous zones, and simultaneous orgasms.

The secret to expanding your orgasmic repertoire, regardless of your gender or sexual preference, is the energy orgasm category. An energy orgasm results from the intense streaming of sexual energy throughout the body. It’s more like pulsing electromagnetic waves than physical spasms. It’s also the secret to having multiple simultaneous orgasms.

One of the main things we learned from studying Tantra starting over twenty years ago was how to run sexual energy. That means sensing, harnessing, and consciously channelling the life-force that animates your body and drives sexual desire. The more energy you amass, the bigger, stronger, and longer your orgasms can be.

When we each learned how to run energy at will, we could synchronize our pleasure peaks much better. I usually support my wife in peaking a few times. At first these are simply sharp increases of pleasure. But after a few they morph into full-blown energy orgasms all over her body. When I feel I’ve been a good boy, I go for one myself. And then we alternate a few more times.

That’s when sympathetic orgasms begin to happen of their own accord. That means the excitement one of us is experiencing spikes so intensely and lasts so long that it triggers the other one’s energy orgasm. We’re so connected energetically and empathically that we can feel the sensations in each other’s body. So, for example, I can feel the fiery sensations streaming from her head to her toes and back again. Not only does it make all her cells vibrate wildly, but it sends my body into the same convulsions. And vice versa.

After a few of these, we start to ride the up and down waves of pleasure together, peaking at the same time. We might do this half a dozen times in a quickie and a dozen or more during each longie.

Sorry if I confused you when I wrote earlier that our “simultaneous explosive orgasms happen maybe once a month.” I was referring to physical ejaculatory orgasms that deplete the majority of our sexual energy. The ones that we have dozens of ones every week are simultaneous ENERGY orgasms. They don’t release much energy so we can have them over and over and use the energy to go higher and higher.

Since energy orgasms aren’t necessarily triggered by the body’s erogenous zones, theoretically we don’t need sexual contact to make them happen. In fact, in our experience, they don’t actually need a physical connection. One time we were at a Tantric sex party where all the lovers were well-trained and spiritual people. The two of us were playing with a beautiful woman. She had an unusually small yoni (vagina) so she wasn’t too comfortable with jewel union. She laid beside us as we made love and all three of us held hands. More to the point we included her in our energy bubble. As our sexual energy started to peak, we could feel her starting to vibrate. That turned us on and made the whole connection that much hotter. As we surfed the orgasmic waves, she stayed right with us having comparable energy orgasms.

That’s not the only time we’ve enjoyed sympathetic energy orgasms with other lovers, both male and female. Once when we practiced monthly with a group of students, five of us sat in a circle holding hands. We breathed in unison and all visualized sexual energy coming in our left hands and out our rights. Within a few minutes the air seemed to sizzle around us and we all felt a buzzing circulating through all of our bodies.

In fact, the first time Somraj experienced a sympathetic energy orgasm was when he was doing breathing exercises with a new male student. He didn’t really expect much to happen since the guy was a novice and an operating engineer in real life. But it turned out he was highly conscious of his sexual energy. Another example of how first impressions and judgements mislead us. As the two of them sat across from each other and synchronized their breath, energetic sparks started to zap between them. Before long they were both shaking as the erotic charge streamed up and down and across.

Now that we’ve got the hang of sympathetic orgasms likes this, they’re more common in all sorts of lovemaking situations. Giving oral sex is often enough to turn us on without any direct jewel contact. Being able to enter the energetic O-Zone of continuous orgasmic sensations truly opens the door to amazing experiences.

If you ever wondered what Tantric Sex really is, I think this serves as a perfect example. Let us know if you’re interested in learning more about it.

Love, Somraj

Supercharged V8 Pleasure from Butt Play

I spent a lot of years having sex that didn’t involve my butt. It was usually great but I had no idea what I was missing.

How come? Well, I was worried that it was dirty. And I was so tight-assed that first attempts at entry hurt.

But mostly I had no idea how incredible it could be.

Three things helped me change all that. First was my Tantra training 20 years ago. That’s how I learned about pelvic armoring. Armoring is when parts of the body get perennially stiff and tense from false beliefs, traumas, and other negative experiences. An armored crotch is a common byproduct of toilet training. As is getting caught masturbating or doing it in the back of your old Chevy. It’s a condition many of us share due to frustrating, stressful, or painful sexual experiences.

Tantra taught me that slow, gentle, deep bodywork can help clear armoring back there. And other places too like a woman’s yoni (vagina).

Over the years I’ve had a lot of this kind of clearing thanks to my wife’s supportive sex-positive attitude. And my FOMO (fear of missing out). Gradually the tension was replaced with more relaxation and more pleasure.

Why does anal play feel so good? Well, it’s naughty and some of us like to walk on the wild side. Yes, that includes me, first in line for something new and kinky.  Plus, the tissues are connected to my other highly sensitive jewels. You remember what that old song says,  “the ass bone is connected to the cock bone?”

Oh, yeah, let’s not forget how many nerve endings are down there.

The second thing was my longtime girlfriend who is a colonic hydrotherapist. That is to say that she specializes in enemas. Now this is a beautiful and sexy woman who is very butt friendly. And always clean.

Not to mention how much she likes me fucking her fresh butt.

Now I’ve tried enemas before and thought it wasn’t really worth all the trouble. Well, until I got hooked on ass play. Then we remodeled our bathroom and installed a bidet so that we’d have cleaner jewels all the time. Little did I realize how motivated I’d be to wash my butt after each visit to the toilet.

So after this third thing I had no excuse but to start using fingers and toys in my backdoor. The more I did it, the more I loved it.

It seems to me that anal play adds more cylinders to my 4-cylinder sexual motor. The pleasure I get is now more like the power of a high-performance V8 engine.

Something else is happening too. While a hand, mouth, or yoni is stroking my cock, active fingers or a vibrating butt plug supercharges my pleasure. It’s more than just stronger sensations. Backdoor stimulation blends in a whole new sort of rocket fuel into the mix.

You might wonder why that would be. If you know anything about a guy’s orgasm control center, you understand. I’m talking about the prostate gland. Or what some call the male G-Spot.

When my G-spot is prodded, it’s as if a swarm of pleasure bees are released inside. They wait in the hive around my prostate until they’re awakened. Then their fast little wings massage me from the inside and make me swoon each time they stream through my body.

Last night I had several 30 to 60 second orgasms that way. They were a new variety that I’ve only had before with my vajra (penis) being excited. I call them dry orgasms because there’s no ejaculation.

Still, everything in my pelvis was vibrating at a high frequency spreading waves of sensation everywhere. Like I was driving 100 mph on the freeway until I blasted into orbit. The muscles that make me squirt were convulsing big time except the one around my prostate gland that ejects semen. That’s why I can have them over and over for a long while.

In my new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making three of the twelve different types of orgasm are exclusively for men: Ejaculation, G-spot, and Dry. So I was having lovely energy eruptions that blended the last two.

You know, I’ve been practicing Tantric Sex for 20 years now and it’s amazing how much I keep discovering. If you’re like me and love to explore your inner erotic world, I highly recommend it.

Alternate Peaking, The Key to Simultaneous Full-Body Orgasms

Coming is great.

But orgasms come and go so fast. Wouldn’t it be awesome to just float there in those intense sensations for as long as you want?

Well, that’s the promise of Orgasmic Sex. And the key to staying in the grip of that sexual electricity current is “peaking.” That’s when your excitement rises sharply but then drops quickly. Sure, an explosive orgasm, what we like to call the Big O, is a major peaking experience. But there are so many others available to those who love to explore their erotic limits.

I’ve written a lot about peaking and if you want to dig deeper into this critical but easy-to-learn technique, start with my post about The 5 S’s Of Peaking.

Lately I’ve noticed that my beloved and I alternate peaks when I’m stroking inside of her. I usually help her reach a big peak first, maybe after a series of little ones.

A major part of my Tantric training could be summarized as “she comes first.” Maybe that’s why I put most of my attention on her pleasure while we get deeper into the energy exchange of jewel union. That’s our name for sexual intercourse. Right, both of us have jewels down there.

Now, I don’t completely ignore my pleasure at any time. But once I’ve helped her shake, rattle, and roll, I figure it’s my turn. So I relax and focus more on my own feelings. Naturally, that makes my arousal spike and I soar over the top before coming back down a bit.

As my other posts have explained, I regulate my peaking by guiding and channeling my sexual energy. Sometimes her peaks energize mine which makes my excitement shoot upward suddenly. And I’m sure the same is happening to her. I can tell because, when I feel a tidal wave of electricity sparking inside, she starts moaning and gyrating in unison.

Once we’re both flowing a sizable current of erotic charge, we alternate peaking. She wails and flails as her pleasure spikes while I follow her up and down. But it’s her experience that we’re both concentrating on. And then I do the same while she supports me. No doubt, alternate peaking turns each of us on more and more. At first, one of us peaks while the other plays second fiddle.

But the amazing thing I’ve discovered recently is what happens after half-a-dozen or so of these ups and downs. We begin feeling each other’s energy. It’s as if our nervous systems get coupled (while we’re coupling). Her excitement streams into my body and mine fills hers.

It sure seems to me that that’s the physics of making each other higher.

Sometimes, while I’m following her up a peak, the sexual charge floods my body, making me peak just after her. Then I notice the same happening to her. It’s like ping pong. Her peak makes me peak, and mine triggers another one in her, back and forth.

Early in alternating peaks, we pause for a moment after we’ve each crested once. But as our erotic voltage levels increase, these peaks last longer, gradually morphing into pleasure plateaus. The duration of these high valleys of excitement far exceed that of the typical 10-second explosive physical orgasm.

The longer one of our plateaus lasts, the more likely we are to trigger the other’s launch into a continuous stream of earth-shaking sensations.

Now, alternating peaks and sharing plateaus can go on for many minutes. Sometimes 15, sometimes 30, sometimes approaching an hour. Though we sure don’t want them to stop, there is a limit to our physical stamina. Especially after a long day of work and exercise.

But often we find ourselves vibrating and undulating and shrieking together in a sensational plateau together. We sure need all the heavy breathing we can handle to fuel our bodies. It’s as if every nerve is firing and every cell is coming.

Without a doubt, that’s a simultaneous full-body orgasm.

Because the ramping up of these peaks and plateaus are all energy orgasms, our vital essence isn’t drained. We certainly experience lots of muscle contractions and jewel spasms. But we’re not in the uncontrollable grip of pelvic convulsions that make me ejaculate and her exhaust herself which spills the vast majority of erotic charge. That’s why we can go on and on, higher and higher. In effect we’re charging each other’s batteries back and forth.

Hopefully this gives you a better grasp of what we mean by Orgasmic Sex. It feels like we’re coming the whole time.

Have you ever heard your baby yell, “It feels so damn good. Don’t stop!” Well, now you both know how to keep it up for as long as you want.

Love, Somraj

Your Tantra Newsletter: Sexual Energy Fireworks – Part 2

How to Mobilize your Erotic Charge and What Sensational Things Happen Inside your Body 

Last month I explained how to create sensational sexual fireworks inside your body in this blog post. In this second installment I detail what those fireworks look like and feel like.

What Happens Inside

What got me started on the whole subject of running energy is my growing awareness of what sexual energy does inside my body. The more I get in my body and feel passion, the more I notice what’s going on. There seems to be four main things happening: waves, rays, bursts, and vibes. Since we’re talking about sexual electricity, it’s interesting to note that they are all somewhat akin to how electricity behaves.

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“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #288 published 10/27/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.
Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback in our Orgasmic Sex blog.
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
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The first category of sexual energy manifestations is waves. This is when the erotic charge builds up somewhere, typically your jewels at first, and then spreads. Have you ever felt your turn-on sensations move? Well, then you’ve become aware of the energy running through your body.

It doesn’t always seem to be a steady process like water heating up before it boils. Sometimes it’s more like diffusion, you know the seeping and creeping of heat gradually filling you up. Diffusion is like what happens when you pour a few drops of a colored liquid like strong dark coffee into a glass of water.

When the erotic charge gets stronger, the energy pulses. Other times it feels more like ocean waves lapping back and forth inside. And since we’re using the sea as a metaphor here, we can extend the image to tidal surges.

The second phenomenon I’ve recognized is rays of sexual energy. This is how I got the analogy of fireworks. Doesn’t it feel like lightning is striking inside you sometimes when you’re super excited?

When approaching orgasm it feels like powerful bolts of energy discharging like when a shaft of cloud-to-ground lightning hits the earth. Other times it feels like the erotic charge is streaking up, down, and around from one part of the body to another. That’s more like cloud-to-cloud lightning.

These rays aren’t always that strong. At times, instead of diffusing, they feel like electricity flowing through wires inside the body. Have you ever felt currents of sensation as you’re starting to get turned-on?

Sometimes they are little tendrils of heat, sometimes faster streams that tickle. Whatever their strength, rays of sexual energy resemble currents of electricity.

A Spectacular Fireworks Show Inside

The third manifestation of erotic charge is bursts. If you’ve ever seen a starburst in a fireworks show, you know what I’m referring to.

Comparing sexual excitement to fire is probably more a reality than just an analogy. As you get turned-on, blood flows into your tissues, your muscles tense, and your nerves fire. When the energy collects  to overflowing in spots like erogenous zones, it has to discharge eventually.

This can produce all kinds of pyrotechnics inside. They can start as a gleam, glint, glimmer, shimmer, twinkle, flicker, or sparkle. When stronger they can appear as a flash, flare, rocket, blaze, blast, grenade, explosion, detonation, and eruption. These images may not be completely accurate. They’re my attempt to describe the indescribable spectrum of sensations coursing through the body. In spite of my extensive research and study, I’ve read very little about this spectrum anywhere else.

These explosions sometimes feel like a little flash, sometimes like a flare gun shooting off, and other times like a grenade going off within your sensitive tissues. After lengthy sexual play building huge reservoir of sexual electricity can create an expanding barrage similar to a rocket breaking into a hundred little exploding pieces.

Of course, erupting makes us think of an ejaculatory orgasm. Too often, for men as they age, this discharges so much energy that it’s hard to get it up again. Which is why Tantric sex emphasizes implosion over explosion.

Instead of releasing energy like lightning hitting the ground, we learn to channel the energy from place to place inside. When the energy discharges in your jewels, it expands your heart. When the electricity sizzles down your arms and legs, you rechannel it upwards to elevate your spirit. And so on.

The good news is that even men who don’t recover their desire very quickly can have a long series of implosive orgasms. And women can us them to fuel multiple climaxes.

Rocking and Rolling

Vibrations are the last category of sexual energy manifestations. I’m talking about how sexual energy makes your body move involuntarily. These movements are more different than the other three categories because they’re more tangible. I’ve included them because they create such unique and dramatic results when you build and stream erotic charge.

Body vibrations start with a subtle trembling of muscles. You might feel a twitch, shiver, or jerk. That might cause some quivering, quavering, and quaking. Ancient Tantric texts refer to these as “kriyas” which are the spontaneous involuntary movements that happen when sexual energy jolts your tissues. These tremors can grow into swaying, shimmying, and shuddering. The shaking can make you toss, turn, undulate, and even jackknife.

Apparently that’s where the term rock and roll originally came from. If you’ve ever had a lover refer to toe-curling sex, you’ve got an idea about how these vibes show up.

It’s fascinating to note that pelvic contractions are widely accepted as a hallmark of explosive orgasm. Certainly, it’s the spasms of a man’s prostate gland that makes him ejaculate. And any guy who’s made his female partner orgasm wildly while being insider her has probably felt her vaginal convulsions around his member. That often makes me lose control and let go. But in a good way.

When you take your time, let the erotic charge build, and enjoy a series of implosive orgasms, these vibrations can spread throughout your body. Some Tantric lovers describe feeling like they’re levitating when they float in the O-Zone, the zone of continuous orgasm. Haven’t you ever felt like you’re soaring in outer space when you come?

For sensitive lovers, of energy, though they happen more in the energy body than the physical body, are certainly accompanied by delightful sensations. When these fireworks make you vibrate, the pleasure is enormous.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Well, that’s the current status of my personal research into the effects of erotic charge.

As you’ve read, orgasmic Tantric sex focuses on generating more sexual energy, making it last as long as you can stand such intense feelings, and spreading it throughout your body and back and forth with your partner. Or until you can’t resist exploding in a blaze of glory, hopefully together.

And we’ve also seen that amassing sexual energy creates waves, rays, bursts, and vibes which can rock your world.

For sure, my descriptions of what happens when you build a super strong erotic charge is a work in progress. Stay tuned for more research developments. I’d love to hear if you’ve experienced any of these or other sensations.

Love, Somraj

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Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

Recents posts…
•    Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)
•    Down With Mental Pollution
•    Do Orgasms Knit Energy?
•    One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

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Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK
The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our expos? is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.
Click here to download it right now…
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Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm
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Past Articles…

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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
– deepen love and intimacy,
– extend lovemaking, and
– create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
– heals your mind, body, and spirit,
– connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
– immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
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We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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Your Tantra Newsletter: Sexual Energy Fireworks

How to Mobilize your Erotic Charge and What Sensational Things Happen Inside your Body 

Any consensual, pleasurable sex is better than no sex, don’t you think?

In our Tantric view of life where feeling good is paramount, regular sexual pleasure, whether with a partner or by yourself, is essential. So we study and practice how to make it feel better.

But few lovers enter into the rapture zone where the ecstasy is mind-blowing and the spirit is transformed. You know, where you can’t help but screaming “Oh, my God!” even if you’re not religious.

I’m talking about physical play that’s so intense that all kinds of sensational fireworks are shooting off inside your body. By sensational I mean that the sensations are so strong that they make you shout, shake, and levitate.

In Tantra we aim to make life in general – and frequent sex – a spiritual experience. That’s why Tantric Sex is often called Spiritual Sex. You know you’re making the most of lovemaking when every second feels like you’re orgasming. Which is why Orgasmic Sex is another synonym for all of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #287 published 9/29/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.
Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback in our Orgasmic Sex blog.
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How Do You Make Sex More Spiritual and Continuously Orgasmic?

If you want to play frequently and continuously in the rarefied atmosphere of sexual ecstasy, you may want to study and practice how to make sex more orgasmic, like we do. Which is why we wrote our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making. It’s a complete do-it-yourself program to enjoy orgasmic sex every time you do it.

Here I want to introduce you to some evolving research about the inner fireworks that orgasmic sex produces in your body. By research I’m talking about experimenting in our sexual escapades with all sorts of moves, strokes, positions, roles, toys, etc.

But most of all when we make love we play with sexual energy. That’s what we’ve mastered to a large degree in our 20 years of Tantric practice. Undoubtedly, we have lots more to discover and learn. That’s good news since applying spiritual consciousness to physical pleasure is so much fun.

Learning how to sense, summon, harness, and exchange sexual energy is the crux of our joint research. If you’re not super clear on what sexual energy is, here’s the definition from Long Hot Tantric Love Making

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

Some sexologists call it erotic charge. Others refer to it as sexual electricity. Whatever you call it, you CAN can feel it. The more energy you generate, the more intense your sensations become.

It’s what makes your breathing heavy, your muscles tense, and your body vibrate when you get turned on. It’s what makes your skin flush and chills or goosebumps spread up your body. It’s what makes you moan, groan, and cry out as you approach coming.

To make sex more orgasmic, there are three main things we do with sexual energy: generating more, making it last, and spreading it.

Generating More Sexual Energy

Sexual energy is the life force that animates every one of your cells. So feeling vitality everywhere is natural. But few of us are raised to recognize it, welcome it, and cherish it. Instead too many lovers are distracted, embarrassed, and inhibited when they should just be letting go and having fun.

One of the primary lessons of Tantra training is how to feel more pleasure which lets your sexual energy expand and flow. If you learn how to get out of your head, into your body, and revel in all your senses, you’ll build more erotic charge. This can happen anywhere and everywhere around your body. That’s why some lovers, most often women, report having orgasms from kissing, sensual touch, and nipple play.

Since our aim is to generate and contain as much sexual energy as we can handle, we suggest concentrating on those body parts that naturally create erotic charge. I’m referring to the jewels here, our sweeter name for genitals. Sexologists call them erogenous zones, places that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation. I like to simply call them sweet spots.

Since we’re so horny and do so much conscious “research,” we’ve become aware of 30 such spots in and around the jewels. We’ve identified 20 of these sensitive pleasure zones in women’s bodies, and 10 in men’s. Many of these aren’t widely understood but you can read about them in our previous newsletter Women’s Erogenous Zones. Too many lovers don’t know how to find them all and titillate them.

So if you want sex to be more orgasmic, your first assignment is to learn to use all 30 erogenous zones to induce more sexual energy.

Making It Last Longer

The second thing we do to generate more sexual energy is to take our time and make sex last longer.

In modern life, we’re all increasingly overstimulated and channeled towards seeking instant gratification. In the bedroom this translates into pushing for orgasm as fast as possible. Many surveys substantiate that sex on average only lasts a few minutes.

I’ve written a lot about the orgasm gap, the situation that men come more quickly and often than women. But my point here is not that sex needs to last longer for women to orgasm.

My point is that rushing headlong to a Big O just doesn’t give you enough time to amass all the sexual energy – and excitement and pleasure – that you need to transform physical sensations into spiritual transformation. And to thoroughly enjoy it for as long as you want.

Orgasmic sex is a different style than you see in most porn flics. It’s not always hard and fast. It’s more like a dance in response to what each lover needs to get higher and higher each moment. Yes, sometimes there’s vigorous pumping. But there’s lots more slow sex. And alternating who’s on top. And shifting positions. And all sorts of other inventive changes like incorporating oral, toys, fantasies, etc.

If you want to routinely reach the peaks of pleasure you’ve been missing, you need to take your time. Then you can both feel more in more places, more intensely, and climb higher and higher. When even subtle movements or being still while coupled feels orgasmic, you’ll certainly be more willing to go slow and smell the, uh, roses.

How can you get there? Well, slow down. Communicate more. If you’re not excited enough, ask for what you need. If you’re too excited, switch to finger play or oral sex for a bit. Aim for pleasure, not finishing.

As the name indicates, our Long Hot Tantric Love Making ebook addresses this in much greater depth. A key technique is one method of delaying orgasm, commonly called edging. That means approaching coming but backing off before you fall over the edge to the point of no return. For years, I’ve referred to it as dancing on the verge.

Spreading the Erotic Charge

The third element of building erotic charge is learning how to spread it. Most Tantrikas simply call this running energy.

You see, it’s sexual electricity, and electricity flows in currents. But untrained lovers don’t know how to let it stream.

Learning how to run energy begins with being relaxed. Physical tension blocks the flow of sexual energy. The kind of negative beliefs about sex that we were all raised with often cause this. Abuse, violence, and other traumas imbed blockages in the tissues making them armored against any sensations.

So the foundation of Tantric practice is learning to accept how to simply feel pleasure. That’s what is meant by being in your body.

Regular meditation helps. Tantric sex is sometimes referred to as sexual meditation. Being able to clear your mind and focus on your body is essential to spreading erotic charge.

Once you’re willing and able to be fully present in a sexual situation, you can use the basic tools of Tantric practice: deep belly breathing, sensual movement, erotic sounds, and visualization. All these add up to being able to turn yourself on – or at least heighten those delicious subtle sensations – when you first feel them. We call this the art and skill of orgasmic breathing.

When you’ve mastered the ability of running energy, you might wonder where you should channel it. The first step is out of your jewels to fill your body. That’s the key to full-body orgasm, not to mention that for guys it’s a reliable technique to overcome premature ejaculation.

Plus, moving sexual energy up your body activates higher chakras. A chakra is a concentrated energy vortex where life force circulates. There are seven of them arrayed along your spine from the base of your pelvis to the top of your head. The lower chakras, nearer the jewels, regulate more physical processes like sex as you might expect. The higher ones deal with power, love, voice, wisdom, and divine connection. So the more energy you raise, the more spiritual your sex becomes.

When you can direct and channel sexual energy anywhere you want in your body, you’ll be able to exchange it with your partner. Not only does it take two to tango, but it takes sex with another energy generator to reach some of the most altered states. And it’s damn good for the health of your relationship.

You might have noticed that during all this talk of orgasmic sex I haven’t mentioned actually having orgasms much. If you thought Tantra was anti-orgasm, think again. We just want to build more and more erotic charge so the eventual explosions are bigger, stronger, and longer. Notice “explosions” is plural. For multiple orgasms you just need lots more energy.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Well, that’s all for now. Look for the second half of this article in next month’s Sacred Sexual Secrets email newsletter. There I will what those spectacular sexual fireworks look like and feel like. Or if you can’t wait, I’ve already posted it to my Orgasmic Sex blog which you can access here.

Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

Recents posts…
•    Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)
•    Down With Mental Pollution
•    Do Orgasms Knit Energy?
•    One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK
The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our expos? is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.
Click here to download it right now…
http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

*********************************************************************************

SUMMARY STUFF

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161
Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm
http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm
http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here
https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .
We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything
with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
– deepen love and intimacy,
– extend lovemaking, and
– create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
– heals your mind, body, and spirit,
– connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
– immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Tantra Newsletter: 13 Sex Myths – Part 2

Let Go of Your False Beliefs to Make Your Sex Life More Orgasmic

Our last article introduced the first six of the sex myths that too many lovers believe. And, as a result, limit their pleasure and enjoyment of orgasmic sex. Here are the other seven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #286 published 8/25/2017

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees 

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.

Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.

                       Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7. Sex Myth: You Shouldn’t Masturbate If You’re In Relationship

Self-love has a bad rap in general. But even if you accept that it’s OK to play with your jewels while single, you might not believe that pleasuring yourself is a good thing while coupled. It can be. What if you’re apart for too long as measured by your body asking for pleasure or relief? What if a guy needs to relieve some pressure so he can last longer with his partner? What if he falls asleep and you’re not done? What if there are some things you’d like your partner to try on you that are best shared by watching? And let’s not forget that it’s way hot to watch your loved one get themselves off in front of you. We don’t need any restrictive rules about what kinds of sex are OK. As long as it’s consensual and feels good, go for it no matter what those critical voices are whispering in your head.

8. Sex Myth: One Partner Can Do It All For You

Though I’m a stout advocate that we can all get better at sex with communication and experimentation, there are limits. And I’m not just referring to penis size. She can strengthen her yoni muscles and he can shift to tighter positions. Some of us just like different things. For example, my ex hated slurpy deep-tongue kissing so we never did that. My current honey once had a lover with a much thinner dick than mine that could prod deeper crevices that are hard for me to reach. Some can’t get enough of anal sex or bondage while their partners can’t stand it. Some of these differences can be satisfied through self-pleasuring and sex toys. For others, many resort to opening their relationship to outside play. I’m not saying monogamy isn’t a healthy preference for those who get enough that way. Just, there are multiple alternatives when the only one isn’t everything.

9. Sex Myth: A Good Lover Knows Instinctively How to Bring You Maximum Pleasure

Because I’ve studied a lot, had lots of lovers, and pay attention to what my playmates like, I’ve gotten pretty good at satisfying my partners. Confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac to many. But even though I may be a bit more psychic than the average untrained lover, I never assume that I know what will get my partner off. With all playmates, but especially new ones, I pay a lot of attention to their reactions. I flick this, diddle that, rub here, and stroke there until I get positive response. I see myself as more of a trekker looking for the best trail rather than a Nobel Prize winning expert.

10. Sex Myth: Don’t Initiate Sex Unless You’re Turned-On First

Sex is undeniably much better if you’re turned-on first. In fact, in can be difficult or even painful if you’re not. But do you have to be hard or wet before you let your partner know you’re interested? No, I think not. When I was younger it didn’t take much to generate that schwing reaction in my pants. As we age, our decreasing hormones don’t prompt such instant or strong physical responses. Yet I know that I love sex and want it with my beloved. So sometimes we decide to turn each other on and see what happens. A wild romp is often the result.

11. Sex Myth: If He Lasts Long Enough She’ll Come

Studies have shown that women take 20 to 40 minutes to orgasm. Add to that the fact that the average length of intercourse is around 5 minutes, and you might assume lasting longer is enough. Well, sure, he has to last longer than 5 minutes for most women. But the old in-and-out isn’t enough for everyone. As mentioned above, clio stimulation is essential for around 70% of women. The conclusion: learn how to make sex last longer and add in stimulating other erogenous zones.

12. Sex Myth: Sometimes No Means Yes

For those of us raised in a sex-negative culture like the good old USA in decades past, girls were taught from an early age to say no. Even if they wanted it. In other words, we’ve been programmed for the young knight to be the irresistible aggressor and the damsel in distress to give in without taking any responsibility. What bullshit! The truth is that sex is great and we all want it. We just need to approach it maturely, consciously, and lovingly. For the best in orgasmic sex, we insist that all lovers take total responsibility for their own pleasure. Every player in the game needs to offer enthusiastic consent. So a no means no. As well, a lukewarm half-hearted yes means not now and maybe not ever.

13. Sex Myth: Guys Want Sex and Gals Want Love

From one perspective, this myth is true. Men do want sex and women do want love. On the other hand, gals want sex and guys want love, too. Let’s not oversimplify the dance of the sexes. Why can’t we all have it all?

 

We can rearrange our thinking away from these false beliefs by adopting one simple guideline: if it feels good, go for it.

That requires that it’s got to feel good to everyone involved. Which includes understanding your own sexual anatomy, what your partners’ bodies respond to, and how you’re all feeling in each moment. So communicate about sex more, experiment, pay attention, and do more of what makes your orgasmic energy rise.

And throw out anybody else’s idea of the right way to do it. Including mine.

Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

           Welcome Instructions          Read/Comment         Post/Log-In                     

Recents posts…

Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)

Down With Mental Pollution

Do Orgasms Knit Energy?

One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK

The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.

Click here to download it right now…

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

*********************************************************************************

SUMMARY STUFF

Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

Tantra Newsletter: 13 Sex Myths

Let Go of Your False Beliefs to Make Your Sex Life More Orgasmic

Few of us learn enough about sex to reach our orgasmic potential. Too many women don’t orgasm easily, frequently, or at all. Too many men don’t know how to last long enough to give their partners complete satisfaction. In fact, most lovers don’t come anywhere near reaching the peaks of pleasure easily available to all genders and lifestyles.

We could chalk this dismal state of affairs in bed up to horrendously lacking sex education or sex-negative puritan values passed down the generations. Whatever the cause, many of us end up with false beliefs about sex. By “false” I mean ideas, notions, and practices that just don’t serve the highest good of our sex lives.

False beliefs about sex are the ones that keep us apart, limit our pleasure, and prevent orgasms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #285 published 7/27/2017

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees 

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com

To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.

Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.

                       Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These false beliefs have generated some commonly accepted sex myths. You just might find that rethinking these erroneous, inaccurate, and unworkable ideas could awaken your dormant opportunities to enjoy sexual ecstasy.

My sexology practice concentrates of orgasmic sex. That’s not just adult play that ends in better, bigger, and stronger orgasms. Orgasmic sex is all forms of lovemaking that make you continuously feel like you’re having an orgasm. You know that irresistible sensation when you’re hovering on the brink and the explosion is inevitable? Yes, orgasmic sex is feeling those mind-blowing, earth-shattering, body-rocking sensations the whole time for as long as you want. You can get there by tuning in on, amplifying, and channelling sexual energy.

Here are some of the sex myths that can prevent you from getting to a place where you feeling like you’re coming continuously.

1. Sex Myth: Sex Is Intercourse

Sure, intercourse is sex. But sex can be so much more. In fact, studies have shown that only 30% of women can climax through intercourse alone. Experts believe this is because those other 70% need clitoral stimulation to go over the top. Plus, many need  a sense of safety, affection, and respect to completely let go. To change the false belief that sex is only intercourse you might consider adding more fingers, tongues, toys, and fantasies — and words and gestures of love — to your erotic adventures. And if you think handjobs and oral sex are just foreplay, you might want to reconsider. Sometimes they’re the main event. Many lovers, especially women, crave variety. So other times they provide a great break in the action.

2. Sex Myth: Performance Is Paramount

Knowing a lot about your own and your partner’s sexual anatomy is valuable. That, and experience, can help you refine your skills as a lover so you can both enjoy yourselves more. But if devote most of your attention to what you’re doing and how well it’s working, you’ll be in your head instead or in your body where pleasure happens. Orgasmic sex is hottest when both partners take responsibility for maximizing their own turn-on. Then you’ve got the liquid gold of sexual energy in abundance to exchange.

3. Sex Myth: You Should Orgasm Every Time

Exploding with a Big O is undoubtedly one of life’s great joys. But dancing on the verge for an hour is pretty fantastic, too. Guys, especially those whose egos are wrapped up their performance, think sex isn’t very good without an orgasm. They should talk to a lot of women about this. They’ll find so many other sources of pleasure and satisfaction that don’t depend on a world-rattling climax. One of the principles in our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making advises to not make orgasm a goal. That can put too much pressure on both men and women. Instead, let them come to you.

4. Sex Myth: You Have To Come Together

Simultaneous orgasm is a genuine treasure. But it’s not that easy or common. If you force your way to a mutual explosion, you might well miss lots of the fun along the way. You see, orgasmic sex is all about putting your attention on how good it’s feeling, not where you’re going. Even though we make love several times a week, we only come together when the time is right for both of us. That turns out on average to be once a month. Like a special occasion.

5. Sex Myth: Don’t Touch Yourself During Sex

When I was younger I thought a skilled cocksman didn’t need a hand to guide penetration. Maybe that misapprehension came from seeing a bull elephant’s huge organ unerringly navigate into his mate. Do their organs have radar? Now I realize some positions need a Hand Assist for entry. I’ve even turned intermittent finger play into a basic art of lovemaking. Playing with a clio (clitoris), pussy lips, rosetta (anus), and balls, for example, are great add-ons while sliding in and out. In fact, sometimes I break for a moment now and then for some fingering. There are erogenous zones inside a yoni (vagina) to which even the most skilled cocks don’t do justice.

6. Sex Myth: You Don’t Need Sex Toys

A vibrator or dildo is highly useful if you don’t have a playmate at the moment. But adding them into the mix during penetration can vastly expand your erotic sensations. One tenet of orgasmic sex is to stimulate multiple erogenous zones on each other. If your jewels (jewels) are sliding in and out, there’s no reason you can’t add a vibe. This is especially wonderful on a clio at any time. And if you’re not into threesomes, toys provide an easy route to one of porn’s greatest attractions: double penetration. If you want to really go all the way, try a butt plug in her or his rosetta while you’re screwing. Or both.

Sorry, but you’ll have to wait until next month’s Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter for the other seven sex myths. Or you could read them now in our Orgasmic Sex Blog here.

Love, Somraj

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

           Welcome Instructions          Read/Comment         Post/Log-In                     

Recents posts…

Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)

Down With Mental Pollution

Do Orgasms Knit Energy?

One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK

The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.

Click here to download it right now…

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

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SUMMARY STUFF

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Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

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FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

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Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

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Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

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Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

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We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

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Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed

The average length of sexual encounters is 5 to 10 minutes. Totally understandable because it’s so exciting. I often get swept away into a blaze of glory, too.

But when someone practices extended energy sex routinely as I do, they enter a totally different zone. By surfing from peak to peak of startling excitement instead of exploding, the whole experience changes. It changes from instant gratification to seeing how high I can make every cell in my body.

Until I dedicated myself to prolonging my pleasure, I barely noticed the currents of sensation streaming throughout my body.

In Tantra we call it sexual energy. My latest book Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines it this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

During my recent self-pleasuring sessions, I’ve been watching the ebbs and flows and movement of sexual energy. While surfing from crest to crest of pleasure peaks, I’ve become more aware of what’s actually happening in my body.

Sexual Electricity

I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle.

When I channel the sexual energy away from my jewels, it feels like electricity running through the rest of my body. 

The more aware of sexual electricity I am, the longer I can make the zenith of pleasure last. You know, that irresistible force right before you come that feels so amazing.

By opening the energy conduits, I can spread the excitement which allows me to go higher for longer than I ever imagined. Feeling like I’m coming continuously. Orgasms that last so much longer than the typical 10-second sneeze. Sometimes minutes or more.

I guess that makes me a sexual electrician.

It’s a job title I’ve long aspired to. And a badge of office I will wear proudly. That’s because it’s sexual electricity that makes sex feel so sensational.

If you’re interested, here’s my first course outline for Sexual Electricity 101. It’s the primer for orgasmic sex leading to full-body orgasm. Hopefully appearing soon at major universities and elementary schools everywhere.

Your Sexual Energy Generator

Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create.

It feels so fucking good that you want more. And want it to last.

But it’s so intense when it’s compressed into the small zone of your groin. So you spread it. The buzzing and sizzling of your tissues widens and expands. This makes more of your body feel sensational.

And without all of your body feeling sensational, full-body orgasm is unlikely.

When I say “sensational,” I don’t just mean super exciting. I mean bubbling and percolating, roiling and boiling, and overflowing with sensation.

That’s what happens when the sexual electricity flows through your organs, muscles, and bones. Your nerves vibrate making your organs quiver, your muscles shiver, and your bones pulse. And the more all of this happens, the stronger the sensations.

So when you consciously open the energy valves, these sensations stream up and down your body. Ever curled your toes while coming? Ever felt your knees quake? Ever felt your legs bouncing off the bed? Well, that’s the energy descending.

Since there’s a lot more of you from the waist up, you need even more rising energy to blow your mind. To make your heart beat faster, your fingertips spark, your eyes roll, and your scalp tingle.

Sexual Electricity Patterns

I find sexual electricity follows certain patterns when it rises through me.

To understand them, let’s review what Thomas Edison discovered. When electrons flow in one direction through a wire from a battery to a light bulb, we call it DC or direct current.

I don’t really know the complete physics of sexual electricity, but to continue my lesson let’s just assume there are sexual elections. Little particles of energy that excite what they land on.

Edison found that more electrons were lost and waisted when DC had to travel longer. So he used AC, alternating current, when the electrons jiggle back and forth without moving too far. If you’ve ever been shocked from an appliance in your home, you’ve felt AC. Your nerves and muscles pulsate intensely without going anywhere. That’s why it’s hard to let go.

When you open the floodgates around your jewels, sexual energy flows out. This electrical current follows nerves and more subtle channels like the ones acupuncturists and Tantric adepts work with.

I can actually feel the prickly sensations in my crotch soften as the current moves up and down. That’s what makes other parts of my body turn-on.

When my channels fill with sexual electricity, it feels like AC current to me. The parts of my body affected quiver and quake with pleasure.

Amps Versus Volts

Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.

Amps measures how much current is flowing. How many sexual electrons have you generated and directed somewhere.

Or to use the analogy of a river, amperage is how much water is flowing. How wide and deep the river is. The bigger the channel, the stronger the sensations spreading to the extremities.

When I only generate a little sexual electricity, I might not even get hard. With more current, I might find my skin tingling a few places. With top output, my whole body shakes and vibrates with heat and magnetism.

It’s as if there’s a conduit of sexual electricity from head to toe pulsing like a guitar string. Or a smaller banjo string. Or a larger bass fiddle string.

Sometimes I can keep that peak flow going for 30 to 60 minutes without stopping. Other less-exciting times it surges for a few seconds or minutes. One of my favorites is when a ball of sexual energy seems to erupt with an expanding blossom of sensation. Like a pleasure grenade exploding in different spots inside.

Sometimes that erotic current reaches my legs, my chest, my neck, my head. I can actually feel the sensations streaming from my groin.

When I can keep the flow going for some minutes, I can sense the sexual elections moving continuously. Other times I feel pulses and surges following my energy channels. From inside they look like streamers of fire that can erupt into fireworks.

We can’t ignore sexual magnetism while we’re at it. Did you know that an electric current creates magnetism? So when you’re flowing sexual energy, it magnetizes your skin, muscles, and bones. This force not only energizes your passion, but also attracts others. Maybe it’s part of the pheromone phenomenon.

Sexual Volts

Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ.

Obviously, most of us need high voltage to reach orgasm. Without enough sexual charge, your chances for full-body orgasm are slim.

When your sexual voltage is high, it pushes the sensations faster and further around your body. That is, as long as there’s enough energy to excite everywhere it touches.

Sexual voltage tends to dissipate unless it’s continuously reinforced. So most of the time when you’re still during sex, your excitement gradually decreases. And the faster you go, the more intense the electrical charge you build .

Confining your sexual electricity in a relatively small space, like your loins, keeps the voltage high. So your sensations are stronger. Spreading it all over tends to lower the excitement.

Now if you can generate enough sexual electricity to fill your whole body at high voltage, you’ll almost levitate with passion.

Sexual Watts

Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms.

You calculate sexual watts — the impact of your experience — by multiplying amps times volts. So the more current you’re generating at higher voltages, the more intense your passion.

Now it’s natural, as you first get turned-on, to push against the erotic current. By tensing up, a skilled sexual electrician is trying to confine the electricity to a smaller space. This increases the voltage so your sensations are more intense. That’s partly why doing pelvic muscle exercises can strengthen your pleasure and orgasms.

But when you tense up while turned-on, you reduce the current flow.

As a sexual electrician’s arousal rises and their loins erupt into a sizzling pot of sexual excitement, they relax and consciously open the valves. The electricity flows out. How turned on they get all over their body depends on how much current and how charged the voltage they’ve generated. The sexual watts — amps times volts — determines how much sensation the rest of their body feels.

Why would you want to fill your whole body with a huge volume of high-voltage sexual electricity?

Why, for full-body orgasms of course. Try it, you’ll like it.

No Doubt There’s More to Come

I hope this primer inspires you to practice managing your sexual electricity.

I’ve called it the 101 entry level course because my intuition suggests there’s lots more to learn. I’m looking forward to my coming practice sessions.

I hope you are, too.

Love, Somraj

How a Foursome Became an Orgy with our Best Friends by Letting Her Be On Top

If You Want the Passion to Be Real, You Can’t Pressure a Lover to Love You

At times some women get off on being taken.

I still remember fondly that cute young thing I met at a party who kept yelling at me, “Fuck me harder!” Frankly, it was a bit intimidating. But I did what I was told and we both had a great time.

Do you get off on walking on the wild side? Do you or your partner like rough sex? Undoubtedly it can be a turn-on to submit to another’s control. Maybe that’s why the slave-master fantasy is popular.

That reminds me of a famous science fiction series I read in the sixties. There were I think a couple dozen volumes in John Norman’s Chronicles of Counter-Earth. The story was set in a planet directly opposite the earth that had a medieval culture. Specifically, women were property and men were warriors. Yet, the women reveled in pleasing their men.

I think the belief that Norman was promoting so creatively was that this is only way the “weaker sex” can ever be sexually fulfilled.

Honestly, I enjoyed the books back then before I’d had any training as a Tantric lover who worships the Goddess in all women. Now I’m appalled at any stories about spousal or sexual violence.

Now I’m not advocating that abuse or rape is a good thing. Rather, I notice that it’s hot for some women at certain times to be restrained, dominated, disciplined, and punished.

Enthusiastic Consent Is Essential

There’s a right and wrong way to do this of course. In the BDSM world (bondage, domination, discipline, submission, sadism, masochism), negotiating consent is essential. So I have no problem with any practices that are discussed, planned, and agreed-upon in detail.

Negotiating consent requires mutual respect for the submissive’s power. If it turns a woman on for her partner to blindfold her, tie her up, and have his way with her, who am I to object. That is, when she clearly asks for it. Or she gave permission for him to do whatever he wants. Of course, wise players always have a safeword if it gets too intense.

Even though I’m an old guy, I guess that makes me a raving feminist. Well, so be it.

But without explicit consent, selfish exploitation amounts to taking advantage of a woman. In practice, this shows up as pressuring a partner to have sex. That might include a demand to give blow jobs, to receive anal sex, or to orgasm and even ejaculate on command.

Though we loved every episode of Fifty Shades of Grey, I winced every time Christian said “Come for me, baby.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love doing these things to a willing playmate. I love doing whatever I’m moved to do with a woman who really wants it. I love her screaming and jackknifing at my slightest touch.

Without a doubt, I really get off on a partner’s sexual pleasure, orgasm, and satisfaction.

Pressure Doesn’t Work

But pressuring a woman to perform on command just doesn’t seem to work for me. In fact, it makes me sick.

Unfortunately, pressure can block some women’s pleasure so much that it becomes abuse. Demanding she put out can block her enjoying it if she doesn’t consent.

We have to recognize that men in our modern world are conditioned to go for the gold, compete against all opponents, and push through obstacles. Yet this kind of conditioning is diametrically opposed to what most women need to blossom orgasmically.

So the question I want to address is how to get a woman to want it.

I spent a lot of years getting rejected and not getting any. And with my rampant libido, “no” was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I did my share of pressuring and demanding and pursuing without much luck. Fortunately, I didn’t take it to the extreme of stalking and the like.

Like any partnered guy, I’ve heard my share of not tonight, I’ve got a headache, and it doesn’t feel good down there. In response, I developed an approach that sometimes pays off.

My No-Pressure Desire Philosophy

I call it No-Pressure Desire. This philosophy basically says, “You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, I want you, I’m here, I’m interested — you pick the time and place.”

Here are some examples of how this works in practice. My wife loves sex more than any female I’ve ever known. And she’s damn good at it.

But she’s easily distracted. That doesn’t mean she’s shy or inhibited. It means the temperature in the room has to be right. The music and lighting have to create the perfect mood. She has to have her favorite glass of wine, and often something more. The dogs have to be OK so she doesn’t worry about them. And, I almost forgot, I have to be at least a little romantic.

I agree an erotic ambience has a strong effect on me, too. But when I’m hot to trot, hey baby, let’s trot. But I’ve learned that I need to heed my No-Pressure Desire policy. Part of that is helping to get each of us and the room ready. Starting without her total readiness never works. Otherwise the series of interruptions seriously bums me out.

The good news is that when everything is right, the passion is boundless.

Our closest girlfriend has many of the same requirements. But with her it’s as much about the mood as the time and place. She’s a dedicated planner-in-advance with a bursting schedule. Being a professional colonic therapist, extensive cleansing inside and out is essential for her comfort. Otherwise she holds her gargantuan libido back. Once she’s in the state of erotic rapture, the sky’s the limit.

Getting Janice to Play Again

I started thinking about all this recently while missing another of our closest lovers. Let’s call her Janice.

Janice has been going though some dramatic personal changes. She’s totally absorbed in building a demanding business which takes its toll on her energy. So after years of wild parties a couple times a month with no holds barred, she backed off. We still saw a lot of her and found our love and relationship growing deeper. But for many months only her husband accepted our invitations to play.

I have to admit to viscerally missing our erotic times together. When Janice and I make love, we blow the roof off. We roll around, vibrate all over, and scream bloody ardor.
But what was I to do?

Pressure her to play, offer her inducements, manipulate the circumstances, take advantage of her sweet loving nature?

Aside from the fact that coercion is not my way, it was clear from the get go that these tactics would backfire. Which brings me to my main point.

What is the nature of woman and how do we as their lovers meet them on as many levels as possible?

In Tantric terms, sexual energy — just one expression of the life force — is feminine. Modern teachers call this the power of the divine feminine. New agers typically refer to it as the Goddess in all women.

If you buy this, then you recognize that we both have to honor the river of life in our female partners. When it’s flowing freely, desire, love, passion, orgasms, and sexual ecstasy are abundant. When it’s blocked or constrained, not so much.

So to apply my No-Pressure Desire philosophy, I gave Janice space. I stayed in touch, asked how she was doing, and respected her choices. I tried to major in empathy and compassion with as little judgment as possible.

After about a year of this, I called her up and said, “I miss you. What do you need to be comfortable enough to enter our play space again?”

She said she still loved me and our hot times together, but was sorting things out and still needed more time. How about the summer still months away when work pressures would be less? Absolutely, I said. I was thrilled to hear we had a future together in spite of the vague commitment.

She Just Showed Up Suddenly

Then all of a sudden she showed up at a threesome we had scheduled with her husband. He and my wife make beautiful loud music together if you catch my drift.

Janice was hesitant at first, cautiously feeling her way. We spent some hours talking and massaging each other which got us all naked. Gradually her hands spent more and more time around my crotch with visible hard results. That’s when I decided to take a chance and asked, “What would you like?”


She didn’t say anything at first. She just pushed me onto my back and climbed on top. Oh, wow, so long in coming. But I didn’t since I was enjoying it so much that I wanted it to last.

Though she was quieter than I remembered, she got wilder and wilder as she rode me. And then started screaming in joy at pleasure peak after peak.

After a while I asked if I could get on top. She looked off into space obviously thinking. But then without a word, she pushed me down again and rode me even harder. We had a couple more rounds later after each spending time with our spouses. When we finally collapsed exhausted hours later, it left me thinking about why I was so lucky. Here’s what I came up with.

I respect the boundless strength that is deep with women. I don’t presume to know what’s best for them. Instead I inquire what they want, accept what they choose, and go with the flow wherever I can.

In modern spiritual terms, I honor however the Goddess shows up in each woman.

Or we could leave out the new-agey stuff and look at it terms of sovereignty. If you love someone, you have to accept them as they are and respect their choices.

With Janice, I had to let her walk her path and support her process. She needed the space and time to find her own truth before committing even tentatively to walking on the wild side again.

Let’s say I instead had used my wisdom and experience to shunt her into a growth path that I thought would ease her stress and encourage her sex drive. If it didn’t work, she would have resented it, creating even more distance. If it did, she might become dependent on my insight to deal with her own decisions. Either way, her innate confidence and power wouldn’t have grown.

Two Powerful Beings Letting Themselves Connect

You see, the kind of love we all embrace is when two powerful beings let themselves connect on all levels. Though I doubt it, I might have gotten Janice to do my bidding. But then we’d be playing the slave-master scenario and likely without full-hearted consent. I probably would have violated her boundaries or at least thrown her far outside her comfort zone. I would become the evil perpetuator not the loving partner.

There’s an old moral to the story from the Orient of what happens when you save someone’s life. They believe that you’re forever responsible for the life you saved. So even if I succeeded in resurrecting Janice, would she really be choosing to love me?

I knew when she chose to climb on top, have her way with me, and shout her passion to the universe, that it was totally real.

It’s all about volition. I want a lover who chooses me with her free will. There’s no way to get to that kind of relationship through pressure. If I trespassed on her boundaries, would she ever trust me again? If I assumed I knew better and usurped her power, would I really be connecting with the real Goddess inside her?

Of course, it certainly helped that my wife encouraged us to have all the fun we could. While she was doing the same thing.

Sometimes I fantasize about a playmate who’s up for spontaneous romping anytime, anywhere. Frankly, that may be a pipe dream. Before it comes true, I’m content to follow my lovers’s lead. And why not? It gets me where I want to go eventually.

Love, Somraj

Guess What I Learned About Myself When I Let My Freak Flag Fly and Played With My Butt

My Solo Anal Play Yielded Profound Personal Growth and Liberating Spiritual Sexual Healing

 

Playing with my butt has been one of the most revealing personal growth experiences I’ve ever had.

Am I saying that anal sex is a spiritual practice? Well, I guess I am. But that depends on how you approach it.

Recognizing that certain sex acts vault me to higher sexual orbits is what prompted this exploration where the sun don’t normally shine. (I wrote about this a couple weeks ago in my blog post entitled “Sexual Energy Orbits: How to Catapult Yourselves up to the Most Sensational Pleasure Zones.”)

Even though I know that personal freedom is an inner journey, I’ve been expanding myself through spiritual sex for nearly twenty years now. It’s taught me more about myself than all talk therapies in the world combined. So how exactly does that work?

Spiritual sex means to be aware of your body, mind, and soul while you accept your sexual desires and act on them fully.

Let’s Get Drunk And Screw

Being a somewhat evolved horny guy, I’m not against the age-old relationship axiom — “Let’s get drunk and screw.” Today that probably shows up more as “Let’s get stoned and make divine love.”

But for me erotic play is so much richer when I’m conscious of everything that’s happening. Then I can steer the action so I get everything I want while I’m attending to my partner’s needs and wants. Often I get new pleasures that I didn’t expect.

My whole life I’ve sought to rid myself of inhibitions. Maybe, like so many other teenagers, that’s an outgrowth of rebelling against my father’s authority. Whatever.

What I found in my recent solo anal play is that I’ve got hangups I didn’t know were limiting my fun.

Me squeamish? Seriously?

I can’t begin to count how many times I believed that I arrived only to find how much more there was to look at. With my unshakable self-image, I was sure I could handle unlimited pleasure. At least until I bumped up against the edge of my comfort zone and found my own limits.

So again and again I dedicated myself to practice until I released “all” resistance. Usually it wasn’t long before I had to pick myself up and realize how much more inner work awaited me.

The Sensible Hygiene Of Anal Play

A case in point is the hygiene of anal play. As my sex life has been expanding in recent years, I’ve welcomed any gentle-at-first penetration back there from lovers I trust. Lovers who are as fun and fastidious as I am.

Damn, I’ve had so much pleasure when they put things in my butt: fingers, toys, and vajras (penises).

But I discovered that I’m reluctant to put my own fingers in my butt.

Really?

Any young woman whose mother taught her not to wipe forward realizes we all want to keep the bacteria from the rosetta (asshole) away from the yoni (vagina). Or either gender’s mouth for that matter.

Such programming was a critical part of my Tantric sexual healing that opened up my backdoor initially. Tight-assed is more than a social slur, it’s a diagnosis of the energy blockages that inhibited lovers and people in general have.

When the issues are in the tissues, especially around the rosetta, they restrict one’s sexual freedom and lots more.

You see, I love to play full out without inhibitions. That’s partly a result of my robust libido. But even more so it stems from the personal growth I’ve done around becoming more sex-positive.

Damn Those Restrictive Inner Rules

So, as I was saying, what I found was that I had all sorts of inner rules about where I could put my hands when playing with myself. When I lube up a sex toy and slide it in my butt, undoubtedly that hand gets contaminated with the kind of germs we don’t want to spread.

My Tantric training, or call it conscious sexuality, included always being alert to what one touches with those dirty digits. That’s wise to avoid later unwanted infections. But when I got an urge to, for example, add my second hand to massage my cockhead, I heard a loud “No!” from my inner critic.

Since I can’t put my vajra in my mouth in my most limber moments, there was no chance of making myself sick. And since this was solo play, there was no chance of infecting my beloved’s yoni. And yet I was unwilling to follow my whims and play with whatever part of my body wanted attention.

That’s where spiritual sex came to the rescue. It’s all about witnessing what’s going on in my body, mind, and soul while I’m reveling in pleasure. Not only was I conscious of what I wanted to do to myself, I was also conscious of what was holding me back.

So I lubed up my second hand and slowly slid it in and out of my rosetta. Wow, was it great! It supercharged the pleasure that my other hand was creating by stroking my vajra.

It felt so good that after a while I got the urge to grab vajra’s head with my dirty hand. Sure enough the injunction was still there. I looked at and decided there was no harm as long as I washed up afterwards.

As a result, for a few minutes I had the most ecstatic two-handed masturbation you can imagine.

Letting My Freak Flag Fly

What I was discovering was that my self-pleasuring habits followed well-worn grooves. These were uninspected patterns that limited what I would let myself enjoy.

I thought I was a devoted disciple of the spirit of David Crosby’s song “Almost Cut My Hair” which advocated letting my freak flag fly.

One of the things all my Tantric sex ebooks advocate is whimsy. That’s recognizing when you’ve got a whim and acting on it. Like you want to switch from the top to the bottom or the reverse while making love. Or pull out and lick the juices from your coupling or swivel around to enjoy some luscious 69. Or play with yourself while you’re going at it.

Honor your whims instantly is the secret to fully letting yourself go. Sexual energy is a continuous river of potential pleasure. Let yourself go with the flow and passion engulfs you.

My inner blockages to my own whims created mental grooves that restricted my sexual freedom. When a whim surfaced, I would ignore it without even considering it. My old worn-out beliefs were blindly blocking my consciousness at decision points.

That’s exactly what happened when I got the urge to use both hands to stroke my cock but one had just been in my rosetta.

When a lover is passionately steaming down the road towards a Big O, they rarely notice what happens at these pleasure crossroads.

Like when the vibrator that I was sitting on which felt great a moment ago stopped generating pleasure. This was a crossroads. The thought occurred to me to lube it up and shove it inside my butt. I was sure I had loosened up enough so that I could take it and love it even more.

But instead of going for it, instead of following my bliss in the moment, my puritan programming blocked it.

We all seek balance in life. I thought I was operating with a good balance between pleasure and cleanliness. But I realized I was a victim of my own overly hygienic fastidiousness.

Now I’m not into deep psychoanalysis that drives me to figure out why I was inhibited. Just witnessing what I’m doing gives me the choice to change. So seeing how I was limiting my options for pleasure allowed me to change my habits.

Different Than a Sudden Flash of Clarity

This didn’t happen like a sudden flash of clarity. It evolved in stages. First, I let my fingers have their way with my rosetta. But at first I was still uncomfortable using that hand for anything else. So I decided it would be OK to play with my balls while my other hand was busy sliding up and down my shaft.

Next I realized there was really no harm in using the contaminated hand on my vajra as well. It wasn’t going anywhere dangerous. So I had fun for a while enjoying some two-handed self-pleasure.

Then I needed more lube. And I shocked myself with the thought that both hands were now dirty and would contaminate the lube bottle. But so what? This was my private stash that stayed by my computer while I was enjoying my carefully curated porn collection.

So I threw caution to the winds and declared my lube “on-limits,” too. That’s the opposite of off-limits if you missed the reference.

These were just a few of the layers peeling off the onion that I went through. It’s still continuing each time I play with myself. But now I’m extra excited when I bump into another internal barrier. I can look at it sensibly and decide if I’m being held back by outmoded restrictions or if there’s no danger in letting my freak flag fly.

In retrospect my story is an isolated example of the kind of sexual healing we all need over and over. Hopefully I’ve inspired you to look at what’s holding you back from what your body, mind, and spirit want. And then go for it.

Enjoy! And I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Love, Somraj