Fast Sex versus Slow Sex: How I Overcame Premature Ejaculation and Learned to Delay Orgasm So We Could Come Together

“When it comes to love I want a slow hand.” — The Pointer Sisters

I know it’s true that sometimes women really love hard fast pounding. But pushing for it too soon never worked for me. And I’ve heard the same from lots of others.

Even those go-for-it girls enjoy a little teasing that lets their excitement build. There’s a lot to recommend a long slow dance before racing to the finish.

When I was younger I didn’t understand the divine interplay of water and fire, of slow-to-awaken female lovers and what-are-we-waiting-for male ones. I couldn’t even imagine managing my hyper-sensitivity and finding my way up to a pleasure plateau where I could last as long as my female partner needed in order to orgasm.

Yes, Timing Is Everything

Sure, at 70 my sexual responses are slower than when I was a young buck. Then I would come within 2 to 5 minutes after penetration. Even though it was the worst thing for my sexual stamina, I would pump as fast as possible. I was laboring under the mistaken impression that jackhammering was how women come.

Now it does take me longer to reach the edge of the cliff, something like 10 to 15 minutes. Typically that’s not enough for my partners most of the time.

Still I find myself at the same precipice teetering on the edge of coming. Even with everything I’ve mastered, I can slip over in a headlong rush if I don’t pay attention. But fortunately I’ve learned how to extend my sexual longevity enough to enjoy fast sex at times.

Before my Tantra training, I didn’t understand much of anything about women, their bodies, minds, and souls, and their pathways to orgasm. Now I realize that the average man takes around 5 to 10 minutes to climax during intercourse while the average woman takes 20 to 40. If she’s lucky.

So after I learned when to slow down hand ow to extend, I actually gave my female partners more of a chance to explode in a blaze of glory. Once I developed the ability to pace myself past those first couple peaks of pleasure, I found myself in a less sensitive place. Then I could give her some short bouts of fast stroking. That allowed me to play in a hotter pleasure plateau and last longer.

How I Learned Sexual Stamina

How do I do that? Well, it starts with relaxation. That may sound contradictory, relaxing when you’re going at it. Sure, slowing down makes the action less arousing. But the kind of relaxation that I’m talking about, the kind of calmness that works for me, is inside.

When I’m not in the internal grip of sexual tension, I can relax even when the old in-out-in-out is fast.

I first had to drop the pressure to make her come. Orgasm is so much more complicated from a woman’s perspective. Maybe it’s the male ego that drives the false belief that if I hit her hard enough, I’ll succeed at making her come. I had to disabuse myself of that myth before I made any progress.

Then I had to learn how to follow a path that doesn’t push me over the edge too soon. When I have to continuously fight the urge to squirt, I can’t relax.

And most importantly, relaxing means relaxing the muscular sheath around my prostate gland that triggers ejaculation. That was a major learning curve for me that I documented in my first Tantric ebook, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery.

You see, it takes repeated practice to make that otherwise involuntary muscle chill.

Just Do It, Right?

Of course, this simple solution isn’t easy to master for most guys. Gosh, all that sexual electricity is pummeling you from the inside and my advice is to simply relax? Good luck without a program to retain your mind and body (like my ebook spells out).

The strategy I recommend is to learn to shift the sexual energy away from your jewels (genitals) where it’s generated mostly strongly. Managing that lifeforce that turns us on is central to the practices of Tantric Sex.

If you’re unfamiliar with Tantra, let’s just say it’s the ancient art of spiritual sexuality that originated in India thousands of years ago. Through easy exercises like breathing, yoga, and meditation, it helps you get more in touch with your mind, body, and soul. Then you can sense, amplify, and direct sexual energy.

So if you learn to relax inside and spread the excitement out of your jewels, you can extend your sexual stamina dramatically.

It Takes Two to Tango in Bed

After twenty years of practicing Tantric sexual stamina, I can honestly say that it is easy most of the time. I just tell the most aroused parts of my body to relax and they do. I imagine a channel opening up inside and it does. I intend to siphon some sexual energy out of my crotch and it flows up that channel.

This is no sacrifice when it makes me feel like I’m coming all over without squirting.

I have made this work with multiple lovers since I converted to the sexual style of pacing myself. But I can’t honestly promise that it will work with every woman. There are those who’ve wanted me to pump them frantically longer than I can stand.

So let’s leave it at this. It takes two to Tango in bed.

Fortunately, my partners have learned to sense my ups and downs and go with the flow. We’ve both discovered that slowing or shifting for a moment pays off in the long run.

Maybe my next post should be about the woman’s role in helping her man last longer.

 

P.S. Just did that next post The Woman’s Role in Helping Her Man Last Longer: Unlimited Sexual Stamina Requires Partnership, Communication, and Teamwork.

 

Love, Somraj

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