Kegels for Guys, Orgasm Every Time, Communicate in Bed

Sorry but you won’t hear from me much this summer as I’m on an extended wilderness camping writing retreat.

To learn more about Orgasmic Sex, check out these articles with valuable insights and techniques…

3 BIG Reasons Guys Should Do Kegels | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

I Orgasm Every Single Time I Have Sex’ (a great Article from an empowered woman who knows what she likes and demands that she always gets it )

How to Be More Vocal and Communicate in Bed | StyleCaster

6 Levels of Orgasmic Sex

I’ve had a lot of exciting quickies in my five decades of making love. Of course, being a horny guy, I was usually the only one coming. Since I studied Tantra and learned to practice Orgasmic Sex, more often now I’m not the only one.

The latest study I read about quickies found that the average length of time between penetration and orgasm was 5.4 minutes. The article I read didn’t specify whose orgasm though. I’m guessing it was the guy’s.

Coming or not coming, quickies leave a lot on the table. In other words, if you’re seeking instant gratification and rush to the finish line, there’s a whole lot of fun that you’ll miss. But if you learn to edge, peak multiple times, and dance on the verge, you enter an entirely new realm that we call Orgasmic Sex.

Orgasmic Sex is ecstatic lovemaking that lasts longer than the average five or so minutes of play that’s focused on orgasm. Now you might be wondering why you might choose not to put all your focus on the climax. The answer is that Orgasmic Sex instead creates a level of passion that feels continuously orgasmic. If you could, wouldn’t you want the sublime peak of irresistible excitement that you feel right before the big ten-second explosion to continue? Like for 30 seconds, a minute, or many, many minutes? That’s the delicious promise of Orgasmic Sex.

And by taking your time and floating in that level of supreme bliss for what seems like forever, your ultimate orgasm will be so much more powerful and satisfying.

6 Levels

One major benefit of delaying the depleting explosion is that you get to experience an entirely new spectrum of sexual feelings. It’s like a door opens and you delerioulsy enter into the lost continent of pleasure.

You can only learn to revel in this new world when you gain mastery over your sexual energy. When you’re sexually turned on, you can feel a small trickle of nervous stimulation and physical excitation, alive, bubbling, moving, and vibrating inside you. We call it sexual energy when it charges your pleasure centers.

Sexual energy is the electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. 

It’s sexual energy that makes you feel excitement. So, of course, for Orgasmic Sex you want to amass as much as you can for as long as you can. As it turns out, there are six levels of excitement depending on how much sexual energy you’ve generated.

Those levels are…

1 Sensations

Level 1 is where you feel turn-on in various places around your body. That might seem like tingling or prickly heat or electrical charge. At first, these sensations are still and confined to your jewels (genitals).

2 Motion

As you build more sexual energy, your sensations begin to flow. Moving sensations feel like chills, hot flashes, goosebumps, or a current running inside. Sometimes energy expands in slow diffusion, waves, or blossoms. Expanding sexual energy out of your jewels is the key to full-body orgasms.

3 Vibration

With even more sexual energy, your body starts to vibrate. The moving sensations excite your nerves, muscles, and organs making them tremble, quiver, shiver, or pulsate.

4 Kriya

A kriya is an involuntary spontaneous twitch, jerk, or jolt of the body in response to the flow of sexual energy. Kriyas happen when more sexual energy than you’re used to settles in a muscle or organ and makes it react. An experienced Tantra teacher once told me that I wouldn’t have so many kriyas if I relaxed more. But sometimes that’s challenging when a sudden build-up of sensation and vibration hits you.

5 Shaking

When you experience a series of kriyas, your body starts shaking. This and the other levels only happen if you relax, surrender, and let the excitement flow through you. When you do, the intense sensations radiate all over and grip you in spasms of pleasure. A major skill that lovers develop through Tantric practice is called running energy where you consciously direct the lifeforce to spread and engulf you in continuous ecstatic shaking.

6 Streaming

When the sexual energy shaking you reaches an even higher level, it streams through you of its own accord. It’s like conscious swooning where you totally let go and levitate in the sexual ecstasy. Streaming energy feels like surges, gushes, floods, and eruptions of heat and electricity all throughout your body. Often the shaking at this level thrashes you around making you flail and jackknife.

Orgasm

Since all six levels are elements of Orgasmic Sex, you might predictably ask which is orgasm? Without going into the twelve types of orgasm here, it’s quite possible to have a sexual climax at any of them. Haven’t you had different kinds of orgasms, some ho-hum and others resounding? Of course, shaking and streaming orgasms at levels five and six are more powerful. But a sudden shock of still or moving sensations at the first two levels can still be profoundly exciting.

That’s because any peak experience can be deemed orgasmic. A sexual peak is a sudden upsurge of energy and sensation. How high do you have to fly to consider it an orgasm? If you don’t scream bloody murder and get thrown off the bed, don’t discount the powerful surge of pleasure at any level.

Sexologists define orgasm as the release of tension at the peak due to a strong upsurge of metabolism, breathing, and blood flow. But staying relaxed and not tensing up is a vital practice of Orgasmic Sex. When you don’t resist and tense up,  you fly higher and higher as your metabolic rate soars. We call these implosive peaks energy orgasms because the energy isn’t depleted but gets recycled instead.

We find that our early peaks usually begin at level one or two and move up to the vibration level at three. Sometime after passing the 5.4 minute worldwide average, our peaks start detonating with kriyas and shaking at four and five.

Everyone has their limits of stamina. In our seventies, after 30 to 60 minutes we either need to recharge our batteries with a refreshment break or totally go for a Big O and call it quits. When we choose, our ultimate explosive orgasms accompanied by ejaculation truly blow our minds.

Another way to look at the energy levels as if they were a smorgasbord. When you learn to bypass the quickie urge to come and enter the land of Orgasmic Sex, you have so many more tasty delights to enjoy.

 

Love, Somraj

7 Chakra Love, Good Oral Sex, Slut Manifesto

If you want to learn more about practicing Orgasmic Sex, here are some links to articles that will help…

How To Raise Your Erotic Consciousness by Making Love On The 7  Chakras (A limited intro to this powerful practice. Many more things you can do at each level but a good start to expanding your secpxaul energy connection.)

The Art of Giving Good Oral – A Sex Expert Tells Us How (a detailed how-to guide from a sexy woman) | Man of Many

A Slutty Girl’s Manifesto | This is a powerful and wise set of sex-positive guidelines that all of us regardless of gender or preference should adopt. | Slutty Girl Problems

 

Tantra Newsletter: Merging Sex, Love and Spirit through Tantra – 1

Tantra Doesn’t Divide Sex and Spirit, Orgasms and the Divine

Most organized religions and the modern technological world divide sex and spirit. Our culture conditions us to believe that you can have a sacred relationship with the Almighty (if you believe in one) but not while you’re having sex. And when you get down between the sheets with your main squeeze, it can’t be spiritual.

Even though physical pleasure is a divine gift, it’s hard to grow up in the modern world without some mistaken idea that sex is sinful, dirty, and bad.

In Tantra we don’t agree. We don’t separate sex and spirit. We believe you can enjoy a rich spiritual life and a harmonious relationship with an expanding sense of inner peace while you and your beloved pursue mind-blowing orgasms.

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“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #294 published 6/26/18

Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com

ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2018 by TantraAtTahoe.com

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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.          Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

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If you entertain this new attitude, together you can explore sacred and physical love, intimacy and kink, mental health and sexual ecstasy all at the same time as you discover altered states of awareness.

Yes, you can enjoy a total merger of deep love, ecstatic sex, and spiritual connection. Why else would passionate lovers cry out “Oh my God!” when they come?

TANTRA

Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual path based on the metaphysics of sexual energy. It uses your psychosexual lifeforce to fuel the transformation of your consciousness.

Practicing Tantra teaches you how to harness the lifeforces that drive love and sex. That can help you improve your body, mind, and spirit and connect better with your partner. As a result, Tantra is often called spiritual sex or sacred sexuality.

Tantras roots are very old. Thousands of years old.

The first Tantra teachings emerged in India as a grassroots rebellion against the repressive hierarchical religions of the day. Tantra sprang up as a movement to make spiritual illumination and ascension available to all, not just to the privileged castes via an intermediary like a priest or holy man.

The earliest “tantras” were ancient writings dated some 7,000 years ago that described secret disciplines, meditations. and sexual rituals as a path to liberation and enlightenment. These esoteric texts were written down in the form of a dialogue between the god Shiva and his consort, Shakti.

According to myth, Shiva and Shakti, the archetypal male and female, created the universe by making love. The secretions from their lovemaking formed the basis of the physical world as we know it today. To create the whole, both masculine and feminine energies needed to be unified.

Quite a contrast to the biblical tale of Adam and Eve, right? No original sin, no punishment, nobody’s right and wrong, no expulsion from Eden. Simply create the world through divine sexual union.

Tantra is spiritual because it helps us realize that success isn’t determined by external measures or whether you win the races you enter. The true measure of our success in life is how we feel. And not when all is said and done. It’s how we feel enroute.

If you believe in God or any other supreme power, then you must accept that your life, your spirit, your body are divine gifts. As is the free will to choose how to lead your life. Tantra teaches us that life is about making choices to create joy for ourselves first and then others.

ACCEPTANCE

The Tantric path is all about learning to look inside for your own answers yourself. Tantra shows you how to accept and love all of who you are so that you can open fully to your sexual and spiritual nature.

Tantra believes you are basically good, and that your native state is perpetual bliss. You just need to learn how to navigate the world’s stresses to get your mind, body, emotions, and spirit in alignment at each step.

So drop those outside values that don’t work for you. Let go of society’s artificial standards. Release the false judgments and criticisms you’ve accepted of how you lead your life. Accept all aspects of yourself whether they match what others think or not.

Instead of imposing beliefs of right and wrong stored in your mind, Tantric practice is a way for you to discover what’s true for you, what makes you feel better, and what works for your life, love, relationships, and community. Tantra teaches you to welcome all the forces of life and celebrate them as divine gifts.

It’s this acceptance which makes Tantra so powerful in a love relationship. As you raise your consciousness, you see yourself more clearly and release old beliefs that aren’t serving your personal growth.

CHAKRAS

So how does Tantric practice merger love, sex, and spirit?

To understand that requires understanding the rainbow of human lifeforces in your chakras. The chakras, the Indian word for wheels, are the seven energy centers in your body that govern your different types of body electricity and human magnetism. They are aligned near your spine from the base of your pelvis to the top of your head.

These seven vortexes are mostly invisible whirlpools where different qualities of lifeforce energy are generated, collected, and stored. That includes love at the heart chakra, sexual energy at the lower chakras, and higher wisdom at the upper ones.

Though energy is energy, when it’s active in one chakra, it feels different from the others.

Whether you’re straight or gay, male or female, young or old, you have the potential for all these energies. Let’s say you’re horny (sex chakras) but your partner has carried a lot of stress home from work (mental chakras) that’s distracting them. You’d be wise to help your playmate relax first before attempting to get sexual.

Some popular Tantric techniques are talking, meditation, or sensual massage. Then you can release and spread the pent-up energy so you have a greater chance of involving all the chakras.

My personal slang expression for a total merger of mind and body, soul and sex is all-chakra lovemaking. That’s when you’re both fully empowered, openly communicating, and actively wanting to share pleasure.

  • * *

Keep your eye open for part 2 of this article where I’ll explain how you can use this merger of chakra energy for orgasmic sex and relationship bliss.

     Love, Somraj

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Orgasmic Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to try what other lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here… 

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This is the adult educational journal of TantraAtTahoe.com where anyone can post what’s up in their sex life. And what’s down. Here we post our experiences and encourage you to do the same. Did you have a great time list night? A lousy time? A troubling time? Tell us in graphic detail. We want to know and help. This isn’t porno, it’s sex education. Freely post your questions and we’ll do our best to answer them. And at the same time we can all learn to be more open about this vital part of everyone’s life.

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FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

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We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

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Past Articles…

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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

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We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

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Ejaculation Control, Find Your G-Spot, Premature Penetration

if you want to learn to practice Orgasmic Sex, here are a few articles that will speed your progress…

Tantric Ejaculation Control: Learn to Cum When *You* Want To (TantraAtTahoe.com has the ultimate ebook on the subject but these intro tips are valuable)  

How Do I Find My G-Spot? | StyleCaster

The Costs of Premature Penetration and Why It’s Essential to be Fully Turned On First- Beducated Magazine

Coach Your Lover, Edging Orgasms, Cervix Energy Orgasms

Read these articles to learn more about different aspects of Orgasmic Sex…

Quick, Easy Ways to Coach Lovers’ Sexual Moves | Psychology Today

What Is Edging and How You Can Vastly Improve Your Orgasms

Holy Shit! What My Cervix Has Taught Me (A brilliantly powerful story of opening to deeper pleasure through self-healing.)

Over the Top: Timing Is Everything When It Comes to Orgasm

Our lovemaking last night was interesting. And we coordinated even better this morning so that she could go over the top to orgasm.

This whole episode started yesterday evening as she got close. My natural reflex (and I think of a lot of guys) is to speed up when she approaches a sexual climax. But my Tantra training has taught me not to change anything as she’s peaking.

Now I realize that guideline can be confusing to lovers who’ve realized that women especially prefer lots of variety. Otherwise, after repeated strokes hitting one sweet spot (erogenous zone), her tissues get desensitized for a bit. So another part of my Tantric lovemaking repertoire is to change things up as I search for strokes and spots that generate the most passionate responses.

See, it’s all about timing. Vary your sexual moves most of the time, but keep on keeping on with what’s working when she’s getting close.

I thought I was following both guidelines during our evening delight. When the reaction to one stroke leveled or petered out, I would change the angle, depth, speed, or target. Everything seemed to be turning her on more and more since she was breathing deeper, moaning louder, and moving more erotically. As she peaked, she murmured “don’t change anything.” So I maintained the exact same thrusts that brought her near the edge.

Or at least I thought I did.

Unfortunately, it was my previous type of sexual stroke that was propelling her excitement upwards. You might have noticed that it’s sometimes hard to verbalize when passion is overwhelming your mind. She couldn’t get the words out fast enough last night. So by the time I heeded her guidance, I had already switched to a new kind of stroke. It was the last one she wanted me to continue. But I didn’t know that at the time.

Still, she came and loved it. But it seemed to both of us that, had I kept up the previous rhythm, the explosion would have been bigger and stronger. No point in being regretful about longing for what could have been. And it was all good, right? Besides, as we talked about what happened, we agreed there’s always tomorrow.

This morning things evolved in a similar way. But when she got near the edge this time, she simply said “slow.” Now, I’m pretty damned sure I was matching the speed her body wanted. She’s so passionate a lover that her body language was clearly communicating what was turning her on. So it seemed to me that we were in sync when she said “slow.” Regardless, from her point of view I was going too fast.

Fortunately, ego plays little part in our sexual play. So I slowed down and she had a big roaring over-the-top orgasm. Probably a whole new one, not a leftover from last night.

I’ve done this a lot of times on my own as she peaked. Apparently, when the thrusting slows it makes her push herself over the precipice. This time she asked for it and it was exactly the right thing.

If you want a moral to the story, here it is. For orgasmic sex, you have to monitor each other and communicate to stay in sync. You may follow some patterns that have worked in the past, but even more you have to stay present in the moment. Be easy, have fun, and enjoy yourself all you can.

 

Love, Somraj

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TantraAtTahoe.com

Prostitutes and Poetry – An Inside Look at the Sex Trade (warning 18+)

by Dave Dutton-Fraser

Writer, Occult Researcher/Student/Lecturer, Former Bad Guy

If you have looked through my work you will notice a lot of my material is based on or about my relationship to prostitution and the sex trade. That should come as no surprise if you also know I spent many years as a criminal. For people, mainly men, involved in “The Game”, one term criminals use for the business of crime, the dating pool is pretty shallow and sparse. It’s not like you can meet a girl who can share your life style at a church function.

I loved some of these women, saved and bettered a few of their lives and sadly attended too many funerals. This is one reason I do not approve of criminalizing or demeaning the sex trade or sex trade workers. By criminalizing areas of the sex trade we make criminals of many women who have been victimized. This of course is why they are demeaned and victimized further.

In fact, I have more respect for prostitutes and people in the sex trade than I do many Company Board members, CEO’s, politicians and other “respectable” careers which in fact cause far more damage to the environment and people’s lives. This also forces them to look for companionship and social entertainment with people like me. Basically scumbags who in many cases, feed off their “talents” and instill fear and destructive social values..

I used to think because I didn’t take their money for aid in their work, I never profited from sex work by others. “I will walk you to Hell but I won’t profit by it.” I would say. I now realize I had and still do. Even if it is by writing works like this:

THEY SAY

Did you hear about her and all the “Haters” who follow?

They say she is big trouble and her soul’s dark and hollow.

They say she is selfish, cares but only for herself.

That she rips out hearts to put up high on her shelf.

They say she is a slut who thinks she’s a high class whore.

I say They don’t know her because I see so much more.

They say, They say, on and on, until it gets very old.

Well I say They are jealous she won’t fit Their mold.

Look at yourself and the company that you keep?

Look at your home and how safely you sleep?

When her nightmares rise they are soul crushing things.

Your terrors are so pathetic and your fears untrue ring.

Oh They say a lot when she is not around to be seen.

They say things so I wonder where have They been?

So if you can’t understand how she survives each day,

Shut the FUCK UP!.. I don’t care what They say.

This low classification by society was not how prostitutes were viewed historically. In the Ancient Mediterranean World and Ancient classical times, some prostitutes rose to a level of celebrity though many were referred to by writers of the time as “Dancers”. Even in the Byzantine Empire, Dancers associated with sports leagues and their fan clubs were sought after by nobility as escorts, a term used even now by many sex trade workers.

In a way this type of classification continues but instead of raising the social status of sex trade workers, it demeans the status of other professionals with that designation. Most men now, when they meet a girl with a bubbly personality and a very flirtatious nature, will think “prostitute” when hearing her occupation is as a “dancer”, “nurse”,” actress”, “model” or “student” and what have you. I am not going to argue or discuss if this is because we live in (according to feminists of both sexes) a patriarchal society. The fact is many women do the same. Instead of raising the meaning of prostitute, we degrade other trades like nursing and acting.

One reason that prostitutes have a bad image is because of their criminal classification and the view society has of their work. Not many prostitutes are going to go call the police when things go “wrong”. Also, by criminalizing the work, the law unconsciously creates an unsafe work environment to a trade already more dangerous than most any job a man or female would have. The average “working girl” learns this very quickly and will seek out ways to protect herself.

This protection comes in the form of pimps or other criminals simply by the nature of the societal classification as a criminal. The tasks do not require any special skills for the most part and is mostly “Thug Work”. Checking the room for recording equipment, holding money and adding security by letting their clients know they were not alone. As a result many women turn to thuggish criminals and the like creating another element of crime and sadly danger. The line between relationship duties and rape is often blurred as well furthering any psychological problems these women have.

Not surprisingly these women really do not want a boyfriend for any sexual reason. Romance and protection meant many girls acquired ghastly men in their lives. Others sometimes get lucky and find another way and date “Hobo-sexuals” Men who they provide shelter and drugs for so they could have otherwise missing elements in their lives. Lately this term, “Hobo-sexual” is entering the main stream and applies to any man who lives off a women’s work. When your work means taking the risk of being hospitalized with severe injuries or murdered, you might make some less than savory acquaintances.

I was never a Hobo-sexual but I did work security for a few women, often falling for them. It was in this capacity that I wrote the following poem. On a side note, this poem did very well online in the great state of Texas.

IN AND OUT

I remember a time so long ago

Where I was waiting on Her

Drinking another man’s libations

As She gave sensual pleasure

I didn’t know whether to stay

And listen to her moans

The slapping of their flesh

And his incessant groans

I would make it to the door

And stand in the space between

Never quite exiting the door

Striving not to make a scene

Never neither in nor out

Much like his phallus inside Her

The exit promising relief

The room some unholy allure

A time that was so long ago

And trust me it’s different now

But the problem still remains

Of leaving when and how?

I care not about sounds of flesh

Nor pleasures moaned real or fake

The issue is where I truly belong

Is my presence some odd mistake?

Yet as long as you wish me near

This feeling will lie about

Whether to remain in the doorway

Never neither in nor truly out

Sometimes these “working” associations required other duties than simple protection. On more than one occasion I was asked to “work the phones”. For a lot of sex trade workers, it is hard enough being nice to a client for the time booked, let alone any sort of “sales period”. That was something that even the biggest most dangerous thug would have to learn to do. That is help reel in men on the phone who called the ads that advertised sex trade workers and prostitutes. Of course this is done by texting or messaging. Imitating female voices is not something even effeminate men can do well..

 

Most of these clients, tricks, etc. are not exactly careful about safe sex or cleanliness, even their own hygiene is questionable. Such conditions inspired this next little treat of wordsmithing.

TELEPHONE LINES

Maybe if she didn’t

Hate them

So much.

Maybe if she hadn’t been

Awake for three days.

Maybe if she was

Just good at it,

I would not have

To be her on the phone.

And I do it

For free.

“Hey beautiful, R U working?”

He must like her ad

And the erotic picture,

Face so carefully hidden

As if she wore a Muslim’s veil,

She carefully picked

From all the other

Photographs of deceit.

“Sure am sweetie, and open to anything but bareback”

“What are your rates beautiful?”

I like this guy.

Straight to business

No messing around.

None of that first timer

Fake romantic shit.

He wants a whore

And I have to seal the deal.

He won’t try and kiss her.

“$150/hhr and $250/hr”

Then I add

As she told me

“and open to Greek depends on size”

“Are you available now?”

She is with

Another client.

A skittish type,

Whose communications were

All confused and

Fearful.

A man who must be

married or some strange

living arrangement.

She had to host.

“In ’bout 20 min lover. need to eat”

“I am hungry 2. Can I eat U?”

Good Lord!

Misjudged this one.

Maybe he will

Try and kiss her.

I don’t care that

They all wore

Latex sheaths or showered

First.

She has been going

Hard.

It has to be

A mess down there,

Full of six different

Latex lubricants and

At least two types

Of spermicide,

And he wants to

Dine At The “Y”

“Maybe I should shower first handsome?”

Though I know she won’t.

“NP, it makes no diff to me”

She is wonderful,

Beautiful, gorgeous

And stunning

But

I could never bring

Myself to touch or enter

Let alone bring my face

Close enough to

Taste the aroma

Of her Floyd Mayweather

It’s his show

I think to myself.

“Sure Hun, whatever you like”

And my stomach heaves

Just a little

As I book him in

For an hour.

We are both whores

Her and I,

As we all can be,

Though she is

More honest about it.

Nor will I take the money,

Unlike the driver or

The weasel eyed man

In the lobby behind

The reception desk,

She will offer for

My time

And small effort.

I can not

Will not

Profit

From her sale of flesh

And the small pieces

Of soul

She loses each time.

Perhaps I am as big a fool

As “Mr. DATY”

On the other end

Of the telephone line

That drifts in the Cloud.

The other problem by criminalizing sex trade workers is that it causes them to be marginalized and easier to be ignored by the other classes of society and the law. No little girl grows up thinking, “One day I will sell my body to be used for sex”. I don’t recall meeting any women who willingly chose prostitution. Drug addiction is a factor and I think too heavily emphasized by most people. That “High Risk Lifestyle” comes along with a lot more baggage than drug addiction alone. I would even go as far to say that drug addiction is more a result of the trade than a driving force behind it.

Healthcare problems abound in the sex trade and its workers. Not just physical health problems which are numerous. Sexually Transmitted Diseases, injury from violent rapes, unwanted pregnancies are merely the tip of the iceberg for many prostitutes. Most of these girls have been sexually traumatized by someone or worse by somebodies.

I wonder how most clients would feel about their excursions of fleshly pleasure if they knew that some of these girls, consciously or not, relive their trauma during their work. Sometimes the act of sex for sale is even a coping mechanism. In such cases, though they may emotionally be reliving trauma but at least this time they feel control over the situation. This can lead to an addiction to prostitution as way of coping. Drugs of course, “numb” the emotional pain but then the “need” for drugs follows and the cycle becomes endless. Drugs numb the pain of prostitution; prostitution pays for the need for drugs.

The classification by the law and society as criminals means many prostitutes do not search out any form of psychiatric help.

Prostitution in these cases is just another escape, a way to run from the pain and trauma that affects their lives. Running that never stops, no matter how tired they become. Such were the thoughts that came to my mind when a young lady (who wrote me one of my earliest pieces of fan mail) gave me a suggestion for the final poem I will share with you on the subject. “Write a poem about a girl on the run from the law” she asked me.

I knew she had left the city, in fact the province for this reason. I never asked what her crime was and really didn’t care. It was the least I could do for a so called “fellow-criminal” who was “on the run”. A person who because of the world around her was following her own laws not society’s. I have lost touch with her since but I hope she has stopped running. I truly wish, with all my heart, she has found a life were she is safe, loved, respected and contributes to the world around her. Sadly, this is a bigger wish than most people realize

THE LAW of SURVIVAL

Her last home was nowhere, her next she’ll know on arrival.

She breaks all of the laws but her own – The Law of Survival.

Her name changes at will with all the people she meets,

She’ll fit in quite fine, we’re all the same on the streets

She out runs the Law and her exs, sometimes it got tough.

Boyfriends or the cops, they have all treated her rough.

And she’s left behind messes, some large, some small.

Its the only trail left behind her, if you see one at all.

Sometimes she imagines a different life when she awakes.

So she trades her soul to end pain, if that’s what it takes.

She thinks she’s ageing too quickly, more Mrs. than Ms.

But its too late for her to stop now, where ever this is.

She’s not waiting for death, she’s just out running life.

That’s how you move faster than chaos and strife.

Perhaps she’ll see different one day, follow a new Bible,

But ‘til then she follows one law – The Law of Survival.

 

(All material above copyright Dave Dutton-Fraser, Feb, 2018) Dave Dutton-Fraser

(This article was originally published in The Writer’s Newsletter, 2018)