premature ejaculation

Orgasmic Sex Play-By-Play (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

Unusually, it had been a few days since we made love so we were way hot for each other. Before diving in, we exchanged some sweet everythings and slow sensual massage. We call light all-body caresses with consciousness, “Tantric Touch.”

That’s all it took for our jewels (genitals) to get erect.

We moved to the next level when, with her permission, I put my vajra (penis) inside her. My hard-on descended slowly and shallowly at first. When, after a few initial thrusts, her body language made it clear that she was craving more, I gradually stroked faster and deeper. That propelled us to the next level. Our excitement propelled us to alternate at higher and higher peaks.

Sometimes her G-spot near the opening of her yoni (vagina) prefers to be rubbed or rammed directly. But this time deeper thrusts were producing stronger reactions. She’s so passionate that there’s no doubt what she wants most in each moment.  How loud her moans are, how heavy her breathing is, and how strongly she pushes back tells me more than words could. I call passionate lovers like this responsive.

For fun, instead of having my thrusts penetrate straight in, I rotated my pelvis down so my vajra was entering from below. This prodded the upper wall of her yoni all the way in near the neck of the bladder. Sexologists call that the A-spot where the A stands for anterior. The A-spot is near the fabled G-spot but much further inside. She liked those strokes, but it didn’t make her wail and flail. I love to make her crazy.

I switched by rotating my pelvis upward which aimed my vajra downward as far as it would go into her cul-de-sac. That’s the little crevice behind the cervix up against the womb. Her deeper breathing and louder moans told me that these thrusts made her peaks more dramatic.

But I had a problem. All this energetic in-and-out pushed me too close to the edge of coming. Each time I pushed my cockhead into her cul-de-sac, I almost came. (I’ve always been ultra-sensitive but fortunately Tantra training taught me how to handle the intense precipices of sexual energy.) I had to back off the speed and depth of my thrusts so I could hover on the edge of the cliff without losing it. That’s how I’ve learned to last most of the time as long as we both want. Unfortunately backing off a bit reduced her excitement.

But no worries. We like to dance on the verge for an hour or more at a time. The point where I had to slow up was maybe after a half-an-hour of jewel union (sexual intercourse). In the long run, though, everything worked out perfectly.

Up to this point I had been Tri-Fingering her clio (clitoris) while my vajra was sliding in and out of her yoni. You see, studies have shown that 70% of women need clio stimulation for maximum turn-on and orgasm. She’s one of them most of the time.

Tri-Fingering is my name for using three fingers on her clio. To do that during jewel union, I put my two middle fingers of one hand on either side of my thrusting cock and rub her pussy lips. At the same time with my index finger, I massage her clio.

In spite of her still wanting more (I love that about her), my fingers started to get tired. So she grabbed one of her favorite little vibrators called the Tiani from Lelo, the great Swedish sex toy company. It’s a U-shape with a vibrating bulb in one end that her clio loves. The other end is a little flat prong that inserts into her yoni. Amazingly it holds the Tiani in place so we can go at it hands free.

More bad news. As usual, the inserted prong made penetration tighter. At that moment I was too sensitive for more excitement. When I explained, she just held the vibe on her clio. That made her passion ramp up again. And allowed us to have lots more fun surfing up and down many waves of pleasure.

If you’re into long Orgasmic Sex like we are, you learn that nothing seems to keep producing the same passion for long. Psychologists call it habituation when the sensitivity of tissues gets accustomed to the same repeated stimulation.

When her clio got habituated, she switched to another longtime favorite, the white Pocket Rocket. It’s a slender 3-inch cylinder powered by just one AA battery.  The white one is a few years old and has lost some of its punch. But there’s something about its frequency that’s perfectly tuned to her clio. Someday I hope to sponsor a scientific study of vibration characteristics. I never see manufacturers specifying vibe strength and frequency.

Anyway, whitey on her clit sent her off into a few more cycles of skimming pleasure crests which I happily followed.

Now the good news heading into 45 minutes of coupling was that my sensitivity started to level out. The peaks weren’t threatening to make me loose it as much. So I could stick to my gun, I mean the rhythm that was bringing her close to a climax.

I guess her peaks were leveling a bit too as we approached an hour. Since we play this way on average every other day, we don’t always demand an explosive release. You see, the peaks are so exciting and propagate so much energy through and between our bodies that physical orgasm isn’t always necessary. That’s why we call it Orgasmic Sex instead of sex pressuring us both towards with orgasm. The orgasmic sensations go on and on unlike just a few seconds of them.

We usually play in rounds (yeah, like boxers but much less violent) that typically last 30 to 60 minutes. Sure, sometimes we have shorter quickies. Our longies string together several rounds of going at it like that.

Sorry, I don’t have a name for one round like we were enjoying. A mediumie? No, not a great term. Can you suggest a better one?

As we neared the end of this round she clearly wanted to go over the top. I realized that when she grabbed her newest Pocket Rocket. Since it’s purple, we call it Miss Violet. I bought several different ones from Amazon so we’d have a backup to the aging whitey. It turned out they were all from the same manufacturer in China. The fresh Miss Violet packs a stronger punch and added what she needed for an explosive climax.

It was a classic blended orgasm. That’s one triggered by hitting two sweet spots (erogenous zones) at once. In this case my vajra pumping in and out of the cul-de-sac inside her yoni and Miss Violet on clio’s pearl (erect tip).

Even with all that stimulation, the rhythm of my strokes had to be perfect. Moments when I had to back off interrupted her ascent. But finally I was able to keep on keeping on as she approached climax. Maybe the fourth or fifth peak triggered her explosive orgasm or what we like to call a Big O.

Do you ever pull out right away after coming? We don’t. Orgasmic Sex is such a connection of multiple energy streams that we much prefer to keep my shrinking vajra inside as long as possible.

At first she needs me to be still as the sensations sweep through her. Plus, staying inside allows us to enjoy aftershocks. Sometimes they’re just an involuntary twitch as the energy boils over. But after a couple moments I like to give her another slow stroke. That often triggers a mini-orgasm like it did this time. Actually that worked three or four more times until she was totally spent.

I know we’re there when she covers her suddenly hyper-sensitive clio with hand or pulls away.

And if you’re wondering, no, I didn’t come. The multiple high peaks of pleasure are thoroughly satisfying to me. And in my seventies ejaculating releases too much energy. That can leave me out of the game sometimes for a few days. Taoist physicians specify that at my age I should never come. But I’m a Tantric which means the only rules I follow are what works for my body. At this point it’s been quite a few weeks since I made a big wet spot. Well see when it asks for. I love that preservingjy sexual energy this way  keeps my old body horny, hard, and desiring more.

Well, that’s one of our Tantric mottos: more, More, MORE! I hope you have fun going for more like I’ve just described.

 

 

Love, Somraj

 

 

 

P.S. Many of these techniques are excerpted from our new book, Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex, which will be published by Llewellyn Worldwide next spring. If you’re interested, make a comment below or shoot me an email here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/somrajemailform.htm

Sexual Muscles Are Important But You Can Overdo It

Posted on by admin

Question

I read your book about 3 years ago (Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery) and had gotten to a place with a few partners where I could last as long as I wanted.  About 18 months ago I started getting blood in the semen and it would backfill into my bladder.  I have had this on and off.  I have experimented with quick ejaculations not trying to delay with. I blood.  And it seems when I flex my PC muscle (pubococcygeal or the pelvic floor) 3 or more times during sex or masturbation, I get blood in my urine and ejaculate.  I went over this with my doctor and went and got scoped by a urologist.  They found nothing as it healed up.  Have you heard of this before?  What would you recommend I do to delay ejaculation?

Patrick Herbig (patherbig@gmail.com) reprinted with permission

Answer

Wow Patrick that doesn’t sound too good. But the same happens to me sometimes. I have an enlarged but otherwise healthy prostate. The last time I had it ultra sounded the experienced doctor said that was common with an oversized gland. So I don’t worry about it since it’s only occasional and temporary.

If yours is normal sized I really don’t know what to tell you. I haven’t heard of this from PC clenches alone.

There is a Tantric practice called vajroli that teaches men to evacuate into the bladder.  But it’s not something I’ve practiced or know much more about.
All I can say if it feels good and doctors see nothing abnormal in your gland, continue to enjoy yourself.
If you’re not comfortable with the way it is, I would ask the following…
  • Is the urologist you consulted experienced with similar conditions?
  • What is the size of your prostate?
  • Are you forcing Ejaculate into your bladder with intense contractions?
  • What does that feel like inside?
It could be that your success is physical. If you developed the advanced energy practices that depend more on relaxation than muscle contractions, you would be putting less pressure on your gland.
If you want some help with any of this, please let me know.
Love, Somraj
Hi Somraj,
Thanks so much for your response!
I think I have figured out that my PC muscle is so well developed and I am not using the relaxing techniques enough that I actually caused the damage by squeezing my pc muscle too much while very very erect.
It was very scary at first!
I finally told my doctor about your book and the methods I had learned and practiced and we figured it out.
I am in the process of going back through your book and practicing the relaxation techniques and spreading the energy away from my genitals.
I have had several very satisfied lovers as a result of your book and similar books!

Thanks again!

Patrick Herbig, PE

Beating Premature Ejaculation Q & A

Posted on by Somraj

Somraj,

Hi there! I recently purchased your book about beating premature ejaculation and it’’s great and I really enjoy it! However I’’m still on the solo preparation chapter and my girlfriend is with me three nights a week and I feel I lose time on my workouts because she’’s there. Would it be a good or bad idea to incorporate her in the routines? I realize that would move me to the partner preparation chapter. But we could work on that when she’’s there and continue my way through solo prep and mastery when she’s not there.

Thank you!

Steve

(used with permission under a changed name)

__________________________

Steve,

Absolutely, Steve.  Involving her is a later stage that’s essential so the sooner the better as long as you can handle it.

Love, Somraj

__________________________

Somraj,

So it’s okay if I haven’t gotten through the solo prep to involve her but just go as slow as possible to work my way up on the 30 minutes for that first exercise of partner prep? Then on days she’s not there I’ll continue solo prep to solo mastery. Kind of like paralleling the two courses.

Steve

__________________________

Steve,

Sure. I wrote down the most reliable learning gradient for the program. But there’s no reason you can’t change it in any way that works for you. Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders so you can make it work.

Love, Somraj

__________________________

Somraj,

Thanks so much for your quick responses, Somraj! Really reinforces my decision to buy your book. Hopefully if I can kick this PE issue, the lady and I will definitely be interested in more of your material.

Steve

__________________________

Somraj,

So my girlfriend knows about the routine and she’s interested in doing it but I have some reserve asking her to start. I guess I’m just nervous that I’m ruining the spontaneity of lovemaking by getting on this routine/regime. I don’t want to make this seem like a chore to her, and I want it to be just as pleasurable as lovemaking. Not only pleasurable but just as emotionally connecting as with lovemaking.
Also my question is while we’re still in solo prep do we still have sex while on the routine? She’s only here three days a week because of work, so it’s a tight time frame. If we do still have sex I feel like I’d be losing progress by bringing back bad habits that I’m trying to get rid of by following your routine.
It all boils down to I’m just a natural over thinker and she’s willing to start but I’m too nervous to initiate because of the aforementioned.
I guess I’m just nervous because she’s the love of my life and I know I am the same to her. I don’t any to screw anything up by complicating something that should be easy.

Steve

__________________________

I’m glad you’re taking all this so seriously. And please don’t stop having sex IF you’re both enjoying it.

When I was a counselor we had a strict protocol for starting sessions by saying “this is the session” at the start and “that’s it” at the end. I suggest you do the same, making a clear distinction between practice and fun. If it was me I’d say something like “let’s practice now” and then “enough practice, can I fuck you now?” But you may want to tone down your request if she’s not into talking dirty like my wife.

Being anxious is one of the main reasons for coming too quick. So I have to turn most of your questions back to you and ask… Which way are you most comfortable and least anxious?
The fact that your girlfriend is aware of your program is great. So many guys are too chicken to tell them which makes the whole program more pressurized.

Basically do whatever works best for you. And if what you try isn’t working, try something else. I’m sure you can experiment successfully.

Love, Somraj

A Spiritual Alternative to Viagra: Timing Your Ejaculations to Extend Your Sexual Stamina

Posted on by Somraj

As much as we seek to release all attachment, many of us aging lovers are still attached to getting and maintaining our own or our partner’s erection.

While I don’t see anything spiritually wrong with medicines like Viagra, I prefer natural alternatives. Being a sexually-active 70-year-old male, I’ve tried many herbal potions with varying results. Although some are frauds, I want to offer my belated thanks to the Kama Sutra for introducing aphrodisiacs into the world.

Actually I don’t need much help getting it up. But being Tantrically trained, I love to make love several times a week for an hour or more at a time. So my erectile experiments have centered around staying hard as long as we’re having fun.

It turns out that my erection stamina has less to do with what I put in my body than what I let out. Or to be more accurate, how often I ejaculate.

According to ancient spiritual traditions like Tantra and Taoism , a man’s semen is his life essence. One venerable teacher called it “Original Spirit.” According to these bygone sexologists, spilling your seed decreases your vitality, energy, and libido. Which, of course, diminishes your ability to get and stay erect.

I have a friend who can come ten times in a row without much break. That’s never been me. Even as a young man my desire to do it again wouldn’t return for many hours. Now that I’m a sexy senior citizen, that’s become days. For me my most powerful virility option is repeatedly surfing on the edge of coming without squirting.

If your hackles just rose rise up in horror, bear with me. I know how good it feels to explode into a big wet spot. Or to push your male partner over that ecstatic precipice. I still remember that student years ago who refused to listen any further exclaiming, “You want me to give up my favorite part of sex? No way!”

One thing I learned from Tantra is that orgasm and ejaculation are two different things. So I said to him, “What if I could show you how to have orgasm after stronger orgasm for as long as you want instead?” That got his attention fast. It wasn’t too long afterwards that I published my Male Multiple Orgasm book about how to do just that.

When I released the goal of frequent orgasm and mentally pivoted towards longer pleasure instead, my erection stamina soared. Does this inspire you in any way to learn to float in a continuous and higher orgasmic state instead of pushing for a quick release?

My point is that we all need to find our own personal ejaculation frequency. For me, that’s every few weeks. I learned how to conserve my vital essence by studying two early traditions.

Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice that teaches how to harness the life forces that innervate body, mind, and spirit. Tantric adepts harness sexual energy to fuel consciousness, love, and enlightenment. When applied to lovemaking, conserving the energy of orgasm is essential. It was through Tantric practices that I mastered the art of multiple energy orgasms without ejaculating.

The study of Taoism has helped me as well. Taoism is an ancient Chinese philosophy about finding “the way” in harmony with natural order and the principles of yin and yang. Ancient Taoist physicians specialized in extending longevity. They gave men specific guidelines about how often to ejaculate based on age, strength, and health.

One such recommended schedule for strong males comes from Su Nü who wrote under the pseudonym the Plain Girl. She was a concubine of the famous Yellow Emperor during the Chinese Yin Dynasty 5000 years ago. Here’s what she advised: Teenagers can afford to ejaculate twice a day, while 30-year-olds can come daily. Men of 40 should ejaculate only once every three days and 50-year-olds only every five days. Men of 60 can release every ten days and those of 70 once a month. This famous concubine of the emperor doubled these durations for weaker men and advised weak 70-year-olds to give up ejaculating altogether.

Master Sun, born in 581 AD and lived for 101 years, prescribed a stricter schedule. He advised that men who could make love 100 times without an emission would live a very long life. Since few could achieve that, he suggested two ejaculations per month. His detailed schedule was: one emission every four days for 20-somethings, every eight days for 40-year-olds, and only once every 20 days for men in their 50s. He recommended those above 60 give it up altogether unless they were exceptionally healthy.

Chinese longevity specialists advised that every man needs to find his own right interval. Expert guidance to find my own way has always inspired my rebellious nature. When I first started enjoying extended Tantric lovemaking at 50, I came every time we made love. Several times a week was too often for me. I discovered that I could maintain my erections better if I limited my emissions to twice a week. Ten years later, once a week was necessary. Now a three-week schedule seems best.

The Taoist doctors advised that it was unhealthy to give up ejaculating altogether except in extreme circumstances. That’s been my experience, too. After quite a few lovemaking sessions I sometimes experience testicle pressure often called “blue balls.” Though there’s been little relevant scientific research, doctors say it’s nothing serious that isn’t resolved by coming. Fortunately, a little massage and energy-spreading breathwork resolves it quickly for me. Or I decide my body is telling me it’s time to release.

Undoubtedly, your mileage may vary. Mine does based on how I’m feeling physically and emotionally and how much action I’ve had recently. Hopefully I’ve given you enough grounding in the art and science of ejaculatory timing to find a schedule that keeps you hot and hard and virile well into old age. I figure with my expertise and experience I’ve got another few decades of Tantric sex ahead of me.

Love, Somraj