Sexual Muscles Are Important But You Can Overdo It

Question

I read your book about 3 years ago (Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery) and had gotten to a place with a few partners where I could last as long as I wanted.  About 18 months ago I started getting blood in the semen and it would backfill into my bladder.  I have had this on and off.  I have experimented with quick ejaculations not trying to delay with. I blood.  And it seems when I flex my PC muscle (pubococcygeal or the pelvic floor) 3 or more times during sex or masturbation, I get blood in my urine and ejaculate.  I went over this with my doctor and went and got scoped by a urologist.  They found nothing as it healed up.  Have you heard of this before?  What would you recommend I do to delay ejaculation?

Patrick Herbig (patherbig@gmail.com) reprinted with permission


Answer

Wow Patrick that doesn’t sound too good. But the same happens to me sometimes. I have an enlarged but otherwise healthy prostate. The last time I had it ultra sounded the experienced doctor said that was common with an oversized gland. So I don’t worry about it since it’s only occasional and temporary.

If yours is normal sized I really don’t know what to tell you. I haven’t heard of this from PC clenches alone.

There is a Tantric practice called vajroli that teaches men to evacuate into the bladder.  But it’s not something I’ve practiced or know much more about.
All I can say if it feels good and doctors see nothing abnormal in your gland, continue to enjoy yourself.
If you’re not comfortable with the way it is, I would ask the following…
  • Is the urologist you consulted experienced with similar conditions?
  • What is the size of your prostate?
  • Are you forcing Ejaculate into your bladder with intense contractions?
  • What does that feel like inside?
It could be that your success is physical. If you developed the advanced energy practices that depend more on relaxation than muscle contractions, you would be putting less pressure on your gland.
If you want some help with any of this, please let me know.
Love, Somraj

Hi Somraj,
Thanks so much for your response!
I think I have figured out that my PC muscle is so well developed and I am not using the relaxing techniques enough that I actually caused the damage by squeezing my pc muscle too much while very very erect.
It was very scary at first!
I finally told my doctor about your book and the methods I had learned and practiced and we figured it out.
I am in the process of going back through your book and practicing the relaxation techniques and spreading the energy away from my genitals.
I have had several very satisfied lovers as a result of your book and similar books!

Thanks again!

Patrick Herbig, PE

Beating Premature Ejaculation Q & A

Somraj,

Hi there! I recently purchased your book about beating premature ejaculation and it’’s great and I really enjoy it! However I’’m still on the solo preparation chapter and my girlfriend is with me three nights a week and I feel I lose time on my workouts because she’’s there. Would it be a good or bad idea to incorporate her in the routines? I realize that would move me to the partner preparation chapter. But we could work on that when she’’s there and continue my way through solo prep and mastery when she’s not there.

Thank you!

Steve

(used with permission under a changed name)

__________________________

Steve,

Absolutely, Steve.  Involving her is a later stage that’s essential so the sooner the better as long as you can handle it.

Love, Somraj

__________________________

Somraj,

So it’s okay if I haven’t gotten through the solo prep to involve her but just go as slow as possible to work my way up on the 30 minutes for that first exercise of partner prep? Then on days she’s not there I’ll continue solo prep to solo mastery. Kind of like paralleling the two courses.

Steve

__________________________

Steve,

Sure. I wrote down the most reliable learning gradient for the program. But there’s no reason you can’t change it in any way that works for you. Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders so you can make it work.

Love, Somraj

__________________________

Somraj,

Thanks so much for your quick responses, Somraj! Really reinforces my decision to buy your book. Hopefully if I can kick this PE issue, the lady and I will definitely be interested in more of your material.

Steve

__________________________

Somraj,

So my girlfriend knows about the routine and she’s interested in doing it but I have some reserve asking her to start. I guess I’m just nervous that I’m ruining the spontaneity of lovemaking by getting on this routine/regime. I don’t want to make this seem like a chore to her, and I want it to be just as pleasurable as lovemaking. Not only pleasurable but just as emotionally connecting as with lovemaking.
Also my question is while we’re still in solo prep do we still have sex while on the routine? She’s only here three days a week because of work, so it’s a tight time frame. If we do still have sex I feel like I’d be losing progress by bringing back bad habits that I’m trying to get rid of by following your routine.
It all boils down to I’m just a natural over thinker and she’s willing to start but I’m too nervous to initiate because of the aforementioned.
I guess I’m just nervous because she’s the love of my life and I know I am the same to her. I don’t any to screw anything up by complicating something that should be easy.

Steve

__________________________

I’m glad you’re taking all this so seriously. And please don’t stop having sex IF you’re both enjoying it.

When I was a counselor we had a strict protocol for starting sessions by saying “this is the session” at the start and “that’s it” at the end. I suggest you do the same, making a clear distinction between practice and fun. If it was me I’d say something like “let’s practice now” and then “enough practice, can I fuck you now?” But you may want to tone down your request if she’s not into talking dirty like my wife.

Being anxious is one of the main reasons for coming too quick. So I have to turn most of your questions back to you and ask… Which way are you most comfortable and least anxious?
The fact that your girlfriend is aware of your program is great. So many guys are too chicken to tell them which makes the whole program more pressurized.

Basically do whatever works best for you. And if what you try isn’t working, try something else. I’m sure you can experiment successfully.

Love, Somraj

A Spiritual Alternative to Viagra: Timing Your Ejaculations to Extend Your Sexual Stamina

As much as we seek to release all attachment, many of us aging lovers are still attached to getting and maintaining our own or our partner’s erection.

While I don’t see anything spiritually wrong with medicines like Viagra, I prefer natural alternatives. Being a sexually-active 70-year-old male, I’ve tried many herbal potions with varying results. Although some are frauds, I want to offer my belated thanks to the Kama Sutra for introducing aphrodisiacs into the world.

Actually I don’t need much help getting it up. But being Tantrically trained, I love to make love several times a week for an hour or more at a time. So my erectile experiments have centered around staying hard as long as we’re having fun.

It turns out that my erection stamina has less to do with what I put in my body than what I let out. Or to be more accurate, how often I ejaculate.

According to ancient spiritual traditions like Tantra and Taoism , a man’s semen is his life essence. One venerable teacher called it “Original Spirit.” According to these bygone sexologists, spilling your seed decreases your vitality, energy, and libido. Which, of course, diminishes your ability to get and stay erect.

I have a friend who can come ten times in a row without much break. That’s never been me. Even as a young man my desire to do it again wouldn’t return for many hours. Now that I’m a sexy senior citizen, that’s become days. For me my most powerful virility option is repeatedly surfing on the edge of coming without squirting.

If your hackles just rose rise up in horror, bear with me. I know how good it feels to explode into a big wet spot. Or to push your male partner over that ecstatic precipice. I still remember that student years ago who refused to listen any further exclaiming, “You want me to give up my favorite part of sex? No way!”

One thing I learned from Tantra is that orgasm and ejaculation are two different things. So I said to him, “What if I could show you how to have orgasm after stronger orgasm for as long as you want instead?” That got his attention fast. It wasn’t too long afterwards that I published my Male Multiple Orgasm book about how to do just that.

When I released the goal of frequent orgasm and mentally pivoted towards longer pleasure instead, my erection stamina soared. Does this inspire you in any way to learn to float in a continuous and higher orgasmic state instead of pushing for a quick release?

My point is that we all need to find our own personal ejaculation frequency. For me, that’s every few weeks. I learned how to conserve my vital essence by studying two early traditions.

Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice that teaches how to harness the life forces that innervate body, mind, and spirit. Tantric adepts harness sexual energy to fuel consciousness, love, and enlightenment. When applied to lovemaking, conserving the energy of orgasm is essential. It was through Tantric practices that I mastered the art of multiple energy orgasms without ejaculating.

The study of Taoism has helped me as well. Taoism is an ancient Chinese philosophy about finding “the way” in harmony with natural order and the principles of yin and yang. Ancient Taoist physicians specialized in extending longevity. They gave men specific guidelines about how often to ejaculate based on age, strength, and health.

One such recommended schedule for strong males comes from Su Nü who wrote under the pseudonym the Plain Girl. She was a concubine of the famous Yellow Emperor during the Chinese Yin Dynasty 5000 years ago. Here’s what she advised: Teenagers can afford to ejaculate twice a day, while 30-year-olds can come daily. Men of 40 should ejaculate only once every three days and 50-year-olds only every five days. Men of 60 can release every ten days and those of 70 once a month. This famous concubine of the emperor doubled these durations for weaker men and advised weak 70-year-olds to give up ejaculating altogether.

Master Sun, born in 581 AD and lived for 101 years, prescribed a stricter schedule. He advised that men who could make love 100 times without an emission would live a very long life. Since few could achieve that, he suggested two ejaculations per month. His detailed schedule was: one emission every four days for 20-somethings, every eight days for 40-year-olds, and only once every 20 days for men in their 50s. He recommended those above 60 give it up altogether unless they were exceptionally healthy.

Chinese longevity specialists advised that every man needs to find his own right interval. Expert guidance to find my own way has always inspired my rebellious nature. When I first started enjoying extended Tantric lovemaking at 50, I came every time we made love. Several times a week was too often for me. I discovered that I could maintain my erections better if I limited my emissions to twice a week. Ten years later, once a week was necessary. Now a three-week schedule seems best.

The Taoist doctors advised that it was unhealthy to give up ejaculating altogether except in extreme circumstances. That’s been my experience, too. After quite a few lovemaking sessions I sometimes experience testicle pressure often called “blue balls.” Though there’s been little relevant scientific research, doctors say it’s nothing serious that isn’t resolved by coming. Fortunately, a little massage and energy-spreading breathwork resolves it quickly for me. Or I decide my body is telling me it’s time to release.

Undoubtedly, your mileage may vary. Mine does based on how I’m feeling physically and emotionally and how much action I’ve had recently. Hopefully I’ve given you enough grounding in the art and science of ejaculatory timing to find a schedule that keeps you hot and hard and virile well into old age. I figure with my expertise and experience I’ve got another few decades of Tantric sex ahead of me.

Love, Somraj