Coming together is one of the great joys of jewel union (sexual intercourse). But how often does it really happen?
If you ask guys with egos (a high percentage undoubtedly), they would say almost all the time. But we probably can’t trust that percentage since those are the same guys who are unaware when their partners are faking it. Doing a Google search doesn’t turn up any reliable scientific studies on the subject of simultaneous orgasm. Guess it’s pretty hard to verify if you care about accuracy like scientists usually do.
There have been repeated reliable studies that show that it takes the average man five to ten minutes to climax, and the average woman twenty to forty minutes. So except for those rare guys who can get it up again real quickly unlike me, it seems very unlikely that lots of couples are detonating at the same time.
Our simultaneous explosive orgasms happen maybe once a month now. Which isn’t very often considering that we typically make love three times a week. At least one of those weekly dates lasts a few hours. So we can estimate that we have a Big O together after dozens of hours of going at it.
I’m not complaining or looking for a sympathetic “too bad!” because this is intentional. You see, we always have lots and lots of different kinds of orgasms. But just not the explosive sort where I, the male partner, ejaculates.
My ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making groups orgasms into four categories: male physical, female physical, expanded, and energetic. The physical ones include ejaculation and muscle contractions along with the other great sensations we all crave. Expanded ones include multiples, blended ones from two or more erogenous zones, and simultaneous orgasms.
The secret to expanding your orgasmic repertoire, regardless of your gender or sexual preference, is the energy orgasm category. An energy orgasm results from the intense streaming of sexual energy throughout the body. It’s more like pulsing electromagnetic waves than physical spasms. It’s also the secret to having multiple simultaneous orgasms.
One of the main things we learned from studying Tantra starting over twenty years ago was how to run sexual energy. That means sensing, harnessing, and consciously channelling the life-force that animates your body and drives sexual desire. The more energy you amass, the bigger, stronger, and longer your orgasms can be.
When we each learned how to run energy at will, we could synchronize our pleasure peaks much better. I usually support my wife in peaking a few times. At first these are simply sharp increases of pleasure. But after a few they morph into full-blown energy orgasms all over her body. When I feel I’ve been a good boy, I go for one myself. And then we alternate a few more times.
That’s when sympathetic orgasms begin to happen of their own accord. That means the excitement one of us is experiencing spikes so intensely and lasts so long that it triggers the other one’s energy orgasm. We’re so connected energetically and empathically that we can feel the sensations in each other’s body. So, for example, I can feel the fiery sensations streaming from her head to her toes and back again. Not only does it make all her cells vibrate wildly, but it sends my body into the same convulsions. And vice versa.
After a few of these, we start to ride the up and down waves of pleasure together, peaking at the same time. We might do this half a dozen times in a quickie and a dozen or more during each longie.
Sorry if I confused you when I wrote earlier that our “simultaneous explosive orgasms happen maybe once a month.” I was referring to physical ejaculatory orgasms that deplete the majority of our sexual energy. The ones that we have dozens of ones every week are simultaneous ENERGY orgasms. They don’t release much energy so we can have them over and over and use the energy to go higher and higher.
Since energy orgasms aren’t necessarily triggered by the body’s erogenous zones, theoretically we don’t need sexual contact to make them happen. In fact, in our experience, they don’t actually need a physical connection. One time we were at a Tantric sex party where all the lovers were well-trained and spiritual people. The two of us were playing with a beautiful woman. She had an unusually small yoni (vagina) so she wasn’t too comfortable with jewel union. She laid beside us as we made love and all three of us held hands. More to the point we included her in our energy bubble. As our sexual energy started to peak, we could feel her starting to vibrate. That turned us on and made the whole connection that much hotter. As we surfed the orgasmic waves, she stayed right with us having comparable energy orgasms.
That’s not the only time we’ve enjoyed sympathetic energy orgasms with other lovers, both male and female. Once when we practiced monthly with a group of students, five of us sat in a circle holding hands. We breathed in unison and all visualized sexual energy coming in our left hands and out our rights. Within a few minutes the air seemed to sizzle around us and we all felt a buzzing circulating through all of our bodies.
In fact, the first time Somraj experienced a sympathetic energy orgasm was when he was doing breathing exercises with a new male student. He didn’t really expect much to happen since the guy was a novice and an operating engineer in real life. But it turned out he was highly conscious of his sexual energy. Another example of how first impressions and judgements mislead us. As the two of them sat across from each other and synchronized their breath, energetic sparks started to zap between them. Before long they were both shaking as the erotic charge streamed up and down and across.
Now that we’ve got the hang of sympathetic orgasms likes this, they’re more common in all sorts of lovemaking situations. Giving oral sex is often enough to turn us on without any direct jewel contact. Being able to enter the energetic O-Zone of continuous orgasmic sensations truly opens the door to amazing experiences.
If you ever wondered what Tantric Sex really is, I think this serves as a perfect example. Let us know if you’re interested in learning more about it.
Love, Somraj
