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Your Tantra Newsletter: Tell Your Story, Please - Part 2
Open Your Fifth Chakra For Deeper Intimacy And More Soulful Sex

In our last newsletter we talked about the good and bad news about telling your story. It's good if you're accessing your thoughts and feelings NOW as you communicate. It's not so good if you just repeat a pat story that you've written and rehearsed to create a desired impression.

"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 12/20/13
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2013 by
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

Conscious open communication is essential if, like so many of us, you're embarked on a journey of personal or spiritual growth. Or if your Tantric path encompasses enhancing your relationship intimacy or sexual ecstasy. Reading, workshops, and skill training are all valuable steps in a program like this. But concepts and techniques won't get you very far if you're not self-aware.

To tell your true, now story, you have to know yourself in the moment. You have to be in tune with your own energy. You have to be in your body enough to know what you're feeling. You have to recognize when some other voice -- a parent, a priest, or an ex -- is attempting to wrest control of your mind and speak through you.

Let's take an example from the realm of our Spiritual Sex workshops. He brings his wife so she can have more pleasure and bigger orgasms. Now, that sounds like a loving gift from a husband, doesn't it? And it may very well be. But what if the common dynamic between them is that he always leads and she always follows. He makes love to her his way and she doesn't want to rock the boat so she makes the best of it. He's not aware that sexual energy is a direct product of the divine feminine force in the universe so he doesn't question his personal version of the male domination story which has ruled human affairs for millennia.

Undoubtedly, his story is that he's a good lover. And no doubt he's learned many ways to please his partner. Her story is probably that he loves her and does the best he can and it's not her place to tell him what to do. Now, we're all for cooperation and marital harmony and bless them to carry on with their comfortable life.

But if both truly want to reap the riches of Tantric Sex, they'll have to look at the programmed stories that are keeping their love life fixed in place. After examining their stories, they'll want to drop them and learn to respond genuinely in each moment, in an authentic way that's not pre-ordained. This especially applies to the energetic exercises that we demonstrate and assign workshop participants to do several times a week at home after a workshop. Tantric practices reveal hidden guilts and fears, unspoken desires and preferences, dormant beliefs and emotional reactions.

If you want to change, you have to look at what's percolating inside, examine what's real and what's false, and talk about it. This process unsettles the conformity that your stories hold you to and shakes things up so much that your old routine explanations and justifications don't serve any more. You've got to make up a new one every time you're asked a question, and then discard it as you move on.

If you can relate to any of this, you can understand why Tantric Sex can be a tool for spiritual growth. Sometimes we refer to Tantric Sex as meditative because you have to be able to enter a meditative state to deal with what bubbles up. You have to learn to get into a quiet place inside and distinguish between all the chatter of the monkey mind and your own NOW mind.

It's great for so many aspects of life to sit quietly for 15 minutes a day, focusing on your breathing, and just be. Let the inner winds blow your thoughts past your view as your stories compete for airtime on your inner projection screen. Sure, it's hard to truly empty your mind and be still, but when you get better at it after weeks or months of practice, your inner world changes. And then your friends and lovers notice and can connect with you better.

For example, they're sitting at dinner and he asks if she has a problem with him skiing with his buddies tomorrow. Inside she bristles and the abandonment story that her wayward father engendered gets charged up. If she was able to see that happening and distance herself from the internal circuit, she could calm down and appreciate that he asked. Then she could try to entice him to spend the day in bed with her. Or if he persisted in wanting to ski with his friends the next day, she could more easily negotiate a play date the following day with an offer to massage his sore legs and more.

Life triggers the old stories that hide in our subconscious. Recalling the stories stimulate old feelings, inappropriate thoughts, negative attitudes, and fixed beliefs that are far from the truth of now. It would be wonderful if we had a Tantric practice or even better a magic pill to make all these buttons go away. But since we don't, we can offer you a pleasurable way to work through what comes up. Instead of telling the old story that prevents conscious inspection of the embedded pattern, you look and feel and speak about what's really happening in the moment.

So getting past your old stories and embracing the joy of the present is a journey that starts with an inner process. Witness what's coming up inside and the urge to revert to the old story. Examine your emotions to see if they fit the situation or not. Is this how your really feel right now or is it coming from somewhere else? Inquire about what's true now and what's coming from the past. Assess whether the voices inside are yours or belong to some program that you'd rather not follow. Ask yourself what your truth is now.

Being an iterative process, you'll find this kind of personal transformation unfolds in stages. That's partly because our false stories and the tired and worn false beliefs that they protect are stored in layers. To get to the bright shiny clear consciousness inside, you have to peel away the layers of the onion. They represent levels of consciousness. Once you discard the first old story that comes up, a deeper more true one is revealed. But don't be deceived. All too often the second picture is still only partly true, often justifying or explaining away what you've already discovered. There's more underneath.

If you only play the pre-recorded tape that you've always used to explain away the situation, you'll never get to the layers of recordings, each hiding the one below, until you get free of the past and can see with clear inner eyes.

After all this introspection, it's time to speak what's real for you. Genuine, sincere, authentic. And not so much caring about how what you say is received. Looking inside gives you strength to speak your truth authentically without holding back when you choose to. Your power of choice returns also so you're not compelled to justify, just share what's real for you when you feel like it.

When you start speaking your truth in bed, sure, it's going to slow down the wild action at first. But once you get the hang of looking inside, you'll find a much more harmonious kind of love dance unfolds. We all know that unexpected things happen, in and out of bed. Not expecting anything to happen next, you can sink into the sensations of the moment and appreciate them fully. In Tantric LoveMaking we try to make the pleasure of the now last as long as we can because who can predict what will come next.

You might say we're making the story up as we go. And discard it in each encounter for a new one that better reflects where we're at in each new moment.

Well, there's a window into the deeper dynamics of Spiritual Sex that you may not appreciate until you experience it yourself. Hope you benefit from re-evaluating your stories and sharing how you're really feeling.

Love, Somraj & Jeffre

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Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to...
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