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SUBJECT: Explicit Tantric Tips To Supercharge Spiritual Love Did You Come Yet? - Should You Ask Or Say "I'm Coming?"
******************************************************************************** Tantric Sex Tips from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter 3-23-05 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Published by Dhyan Somraj Pokras and Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2005 by Tantra At Tahoe P.S. Scroll to the bottom for addresses to click on or to unsubscribe. *********************************************************************************
Dear Tantric Amigos: Yes, friends, we're glad you're staying plugged in to the joys of Supreme Bliss Tantra by reading our newsletters. Our Spanish theme inspired this issue's article and we hope it inspires you to get more tuned in to your lovemaking. Do you routinely announce when you're about to come?
No don't get the idea that we're always talking about sex. No, we take breaks to write, ski, and walk our dogs in the mountain paradise of Lake Tahoe, California. But our Tantric life does allow us lots of time to help clients get clear about what they want.
And look into fascinating issues like sexual communication. Plus it gives us time to test all sorts of interesting new sexual exercises that we put in our growing line of Tantric Sex ebooks, as well as powerful sexual aids and enhancers. Don't miss the special offers and discounts on the ones we're featuring this issue.
We look forward to hearing from you. Right now we're enjoying receiving emails about sexual myths we didn't include in our last issue. By the way, thanks to Linda Smith for such a great contribution. Linda, you've earned a free registration in our new Tantric Sex Muscle Ecourse which is halfway complete. Hopefully, we'll have it done before spring hits us here in the mountains.
Wishing you the joys of Supreme Bliss in and out of bed,
Somraj and Jeffre
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did You Come Yet? Should You Ask Or Say "I'm Coming?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's be completely explicit about most lovers' favorite goal: sexual orgasm. Or maybe, like us, you call it "coming."
We started thinking about this recently in our Spanish class while conjugating the verb "to come." As we walked away from class, we were muttering under our breath "vengo, vengo, vengo!" For non-Latin lovers out there, that means "I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
A delightful thing to say or hear, don't you agree? Well, maybe not for everyone all the time. Especially when one of you isn't ready. What do you think, should you ask or say when you're coming or not?
We can't say it should be always be one way or another. As most things in Supreme Bliss Tantra, the right answer is really up to you in each climactic encounter. Our purpose here isn't trying to preach and tell you what you should do. Instead, we want to get you looking at this dicey point in lovemaking for many people.
------------------------------ Timing Is Everything ------------------------------
We realize that raising this who issue of announcing your impending orgasm can make guys who've ever suffered from premature ejaculation feel anxious. Frankly, most guys do at one time or another. It's just a part of the ball game.
If a man tends to come too soon, it's natural for him to want to avoid the subject and not admit that it's about to happen. Somraj used to suffer from this tendency, but thankfully his dedication to the path of Supreme Bliss Tantra helped him overcome it.
Frankly, the mechanisms of premature ejaculation are complex, involving much more than physiology. That includes hard-to-manage internal processes like feelings, emotions, beliefs, intimacy, closeness, etc. Fortunately, his best-selling ebook, "Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery," can help any man change this pattern. Which is why it's featured this issue. (See below for discount specials.)
Then, any man can time his seminal eruptions and be proud to announce "vengo, vengo, vengo!" when he chooses to let go. But does he and his lover really want to speak up?
Or from another point of view, would his lover want him to wait forever and never come? From Somraj's ebook, men can learn to last as long as they want and time their wet explosions. Sure, most women will get lots more pleasure from longer lovemaking.
But some women don't believe that they're a good lover if their partner doesn't come. This takes a adjustment in Tantric Attitude.
------------------------------ Orgasm Is An Inside Job ------------------------------
Again, Supreme Bliss Tantra doesn't pronounce right or wrong on this or any other subject. Come if and when you want to. Push your sweetie over the edge if you want to. Scream out loud if you want to. We encourage anything with consciousness that turns you on.
To some lovers, talking dirty is a turn-on. Bursting out with "I'm coming!" can be really hot. It can blast open the circuits of the one who's going over the top to reach for the stars.
And it can be awfully satisfying for the partner who has their hand (or more) in such a pinnacle of excitement.
Any lover likes to give pleasure. When your bedmate shoots over an orgasmic crescendo, it can be glorious to conclude "Look what I did!"
Yet, did you ever consider who's really responsible for these peaks of pleasure? Certainly a good lover contributes to their partner's arousal. But huge benefits result from Supreme Bliss Tantra's guidance that we're each ultimately responsible for our own pleasure.
Have you ever been with a lover who doesn't: - Like sex? - Know what turns them on? - Ask for what they want? - Let themself relax and enjoy loveplay? - Show you what's bringing them pleasure? - Know what pushes them over the top? - Show or who hides their orgasms, or worse yet, fakes them? These situations are often the cause for feeling you need to ask "Did you come yet?" Well, we've all been in one of these places at one time or another.
Orgasm is more an inside job.
That's why we teach lovers to take responsibility for their own arousal, ascent, and eruptions. When your partner is in charge of their own sexual pleasure, you can respond without fumbling, guessing, or mind- reading. Then you have the freedom to focus on your own pleasure, too.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is It Your Ego-Driven Mind Or Your Body That Enjoys Sex? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course, this brings up the whole issue of ego: is what happens during lovemaking necessary to make you feel that you're a good lover? We applaud the satisfaction that you get from seemingly pushing your lover over the top.
But, if your happiness is tied to your expectations, it's easy to end up suffering from performance anxiety while making love. And from emotional frustration if what you're hoping doesn't happen.
Supreme Bliss Tantra guides those adventuresome lovers who want to shed these common human limitations and make sex spiritual. Yes, you can learn to enter into loveplay from the heart, being in the moment, going with the flow, and enjoying whatever happens, be it cosmic orgasm or a silly collision of differing needs that you can laugh at yourself about and learn from.
As with any spiritual path, Supreme Bliss Tantra shows you how to look at what you've been doing, often on automatic pilot. You consider how it feels and what baggage you've been lugging around that's activating your behavior. When you've shed what isn't serving you, you can pivot to being more of how you want to be, whatever way brings you the most joy.
Our beginners guide ebook, "Supreme Bliss Tantra" teaches a six-stage approach to spiritual sex that teaches this fun and expansive path. It brings multiple sources of delight into your loveplay, from the heart, mind, soul, and body.
Women especially appreciate sweet sentiments, gentle touching, intimate bonding as much -- or more than -- the Big O. If you talk with your lover about issues like we've raised here, you'll undoubtedly discover a whole lot about intimate subjects like this. And decide what you should each say when during lovemaking.
---------------------------------------------------------- We Don't Target The Big O ----------------------------------------------------------
Maybe that's why it's so fundamental in Supreme Bliss Tantra to concentrate on feeling as much pleasure in each moment as we can generate and leaving the goal of orgasm alone. Letting the climax come to you is a better philosophy than forcing the issue.
If you're too focused on orgasm as the grand finale of the main event, lots of the problems we've alluded to here are more likely to get in your way. You want to make your honey blast off but you don't know how you're doing. So you have to ask "Did you come yet?"
Just having to ask is a reflection of how much more room you both have to get in sync, to open your communication channels, to tune in to each other's feelings. So if you get the urge to ask if he or she came yet, pat yourself on the back for wanting to understand more. And then maybe decide if it would be a good time afterwards to talk about the issues we've raised here.
When you approach orgasm from an easy-going comfort zone, the peaks that overwhelm you become so much more cosmic.
Whatever you decide, we just want you to know that we love to come in multiple ways in Supreme Bliss Tantra. We want to encourage you to expand your orgasmic repertoire, too. When we do, we often like to announce it. Do you? What does your lover feel when you do? What are your feelings either way?
Looking inside and discussing these kinds of questions is where true personal transformation comes from.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Get Good At This Maybe You Can Come Together --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course, saying "I'm coming!" ata the right time requires some talents. For one, you have to know when you're close. That means you have to be awake, aware, and alive inside your body. In our sexually repressed society, this doesn't always come easy either.
Though we find so many ways in Supreme Bliss Tantra to experience the highs of sexual ecstasy, we do applaud those lovely moments of simultaneous orgasm. To enjoy coming together requires even more self-mastery. If you have trouble orgasming, you need to be able to time the final ascent. If you tend to orgasm too soon, you need to be able to hold off until you're lover is ready.
For total satisfaction, this isn't necessary each and every time you make love. But when it does, we hope you celebrate it as we do.
Learning ejaculation mastery is as much a learning curve for a woman as it is for a man. Are the two of you in touch with each other's energies? Can you read each other's signals of impending eruption? Are you in sync at mind, heart, and soul, too, or just having your own private experience?
That's why there are two chapters worth of explicit partner lovemaking exercises in "Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery." Once a man learns the solo mastery formula outlined in the first two practice chapters, the real fun begins. Then the two lovers need to practice the ascent to orgasmic bliss together.
We wish you lots and lots of practice rising in Supreme Bliss hand in hand, or more likely, plugged into each other.
Ecstatically yours,
Somraj and Jeffre
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