vajra

Help Your Man Last Longer in Bed: 9 Tips to Make Sex Orgasmic for Both of You

Posted on by Somraj

Many surveys show that sex averages 5 to 10 minutes max. If you’re a woman, that usually isn’t enough to bring you to orgasm. Women need at least 20 minutes but usually 40 or more. If you’re a man, coming in a few minutes can be fun. But wouldn’t you want to maintain the level of pleasure that you feel just before you orgasm for an hour or more?

After years in the 5 to 10 minute zone, Tantra taught me how to last as long as we both want. But I’m a highly-sensitive man and it takes two to Tantra for a long time. My first Tantric Sex book, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery, laid out the complete program of solo exercises for men.

But neither of you can make it happen by yourself. You have to learn how to share the power so you both get what you need. And since pleasure is a moving target, you’ve got to stay in the now and and learn to roll with the punches gracefully.

That starts by dropping the myth that the man is always in charge of making his lover orgasm. It takes teamwork and partnership. You both have to be more conscious of what you and your lover are feeling in each moment. You both have to be more expressive with words and body language. And that’s not much good unless you both pay attention to what’s happening with your partner as well as yourself.

For example, when I’m getting real close to coming, my wife knows it. She slows down when I need to. When she’s climbing, I find a way to lessen my excitement so I can help her over the top without losing it myself.

OK, that’s the theory. But if you haven’t studied Tantric Sex yet, what should you do if you want to put this strategy into action? Here are nine practical tips.

1. Take Turns

Take turns leading and following. Don’t expect him to be totally in charge of your pleasure all the time. When you need something more, guide him so he can lead. But when he’s approaching the point of no return, let him do what he needs to back off. Learn when to put your demands first and when to put his sensitivity first.

2. Communicate Verbally

Partnering for orgasmic sex doesn’t work best like a silent auction. Even your first time together, there’s a graceful way to ask for what you prefer. In fact, before we take our clothes off, I like to ask about my partner’s likes and dislikes. Where’s your G-spot? What does it and your clio (clitoris) prefer? What can I do to help you reach orgasm if that’s what you want? The woman can ask similar questions to help build a working partnership.

Does that spoil the mood? Well, maybe, the kind of rip-your-clothes-off can’t-wait-another-second unrealistic movie couplings. But we find that talking about what we’re going to do to each other and that we really want it is a huge turn-on.

Communication is even more important once you start making love. How are you feeling? What do you want more of and less of right now? What are you loving about your partner’s body and what it’s doing to you? Many say this kind of intimacy is even more erotic than non-stop humping.

3. Ask Him to Reveal How Close He Is

The most important fact to share frequently is how close you each are to coming. Sexologists recommend using a 10-point scale where 0 equals feeling nothing and 10 equals climaxing. Or maybe it’s enough for him to say “I’m close” when he needs to slow down. Sharing like this requires that he pays attention to his excitement level. And it brings the secret (how likely is it that he’ll come in a few seconds) out into the open so you can share the responsibility.

4. Welcome Him Showing How Close He Is

It’s true that announcing a number every few seconds may not help your erotic mood. Verbal communication is important, but it does require thinking when you’re trying to concentrate on feeling. So it’s even better to encourage your guy to SHOW his turn-on with non-verbal communication. He doesn’t want to inhibit his body doing its thing. Respond passionately when he breathes heavily, moves sensuously, wails and flails. Applaud when he makes love sounds. Celebrate it every time he lets his freak flag fly. Then they’ll be less need for play-by-play announcements and fewer unexpected surprises.

5. Monitor His Body Language

It won’t help much if he’s opening up but you’re not paying attention. Monitor his body language. The more you make love with someone, the better you’ll get at reading his signals. My wife can tell when I pull out or stop moving. Pretty obvious. But she can also tell when I tense up or just get less relaxed. Maybe it’s part telepathy. But I think she’s just staying awake and noticing my changes.

Watching him does require that you devote some of your RAM, your mental computer’s memory, away from your own pleasure. It’s a fundamental Tantric principle that “energy flows where attention goes.” So monitoring him the whole time may take you out of your own experience. That’s why alternately leading and following, focusing on him at times and yourself at times, is so helpful.

Some say that the three keys to a successful bar, store, or restaurant is location, location, location. Maybe so. But I do know that the three keys to coming together is timing, timing, timing.

6. Let Him Choose Positions

Some sexologists believe that it’s better for the guy if the woman is on top. Supposedly he can relax and not work as hard. That never seems to work for me. Sure, I love it when she’s riding me if I’m not too close. But when I’m hypersensitive, I’m much better able to regulate my excitement in different sexual positions where I have more control. Me on top or both of us on our sides work better for me. The also allow for a looser fit as well as other postures when she can spread her legs. I save the tighter fit positions for times I’m able to pump to her heart’s delight.

7. Let Him Choose the Pace

When he needs to manage his excitement, let him choose the pace. When he slows down to keep from going over the edge, follow him. When he’s less sensitive and goes faster, lose yourself and enjoy it.

8. Experiment With Strokes 

The better you understand the ten sweet spots (erogenous zones) on your man’s vajra (penis), the easier it will be to find sexual strokes that he’s less sensitive to. Sex books commonly say that the head and crown are the most excitable.

For the first 30 minutes or so that’s usually true for me. But after I’ve peaked multiple times without coming, lower on my shaft becomes “sweeter.” Before we understood this, the spasms of my wife’s yoni (vagina) usually made me climax. Now I switch to shallower strokes when I know she’s on the verge. This allows me to maintain the angle and speed of my thrusts while reducing my excitement.

Agree that you will play with speed, angle, depth, length, and pressure of sexual strokes to find thrusting patterns that keep him going while you’re climbing.

9. Sync Your Sexual Energy

How much sexual energy you generate determines how turned-on you each get. When you’re both climbing to a peak together, you can go for it. If he’s fully pumped up and you’re not, you need to learn to enjoy slow and subtle coupling. If he’s not as excited as you, you can become fully absorbed in your own pleasure.

But the flow of sexual electricity typically isn’t steady for long. It comes and goes in peaks and troughs. So a vital part of part of your orgasmic sex partnership is to synchronize the ebbs and flows of your passion. Adjusting your pace — speeding up or slowing down — is the most obvious way to respond to each other’s energy currents.

But since excitement is a moving target, how to stay in sync with each other’s energy is bound to change and morph. For example, after a few peaks I get less sensitive. So we tend towards looser postures and a slower pace at first. I don’t stick with the same thrusting pattern for long. My wife has learned to love drawing out the build-up with lots of tantalizing variety instead of pushing to come right away. Then when my genital boil simmers down, I can speed up, thrust deeper, and give her spells of the more vigorous pumping she’s craving.

***

So there are the nine ways you can help your man last longer in bed. As you can see, extended coupling isn’t some silver bullet that one of you needs to learn how to shoot. Or not, as the case may be.

Is orgasmic sex natural? Well, the primal urge that makes beasts want to procreate might be. But the pursuit of maximum pleasure by conscious lovers isn’t. It’s a partnership that requires teamwork. It takes letting go of your fears and showing up fully. And it takes lots of experimenting, give and take, and practice.

I know this lovemaking style doesn’t match the fake-news porn-driven myth of animal lust that makes you both come in a couple minutes in a blaze of glory. When that rare fantasy comes true, enjoy it. But when it doesn’t, now you have nine things you can try so you’ll both get more of what you want.

Learning to make sex continuously orgasmic for long periods of time doesn’t come instantly. So expect that they’ll be fits and starts, ravings and stumblings, before you get it. It took us years to be able to do these nine things effortlessly. But isn’t lovemaking something that you’ll enjoy practicing no matter how well you do? It has been for us and continues to be after 21 years. And there’s no end to the orgasms in sight.

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

Meditate During Orgasm, Oral Sex for Him, Sure You’re Sex-Positive?

Posted on by admin

Here are some links to great articles that will help you understand how to practice Orgasmic Sex…

(Sorry you haven’t heard from me much this summer.  I was on an extended wilderness camping vacation. But home now with lots of blog posts brewing. The better news is I’m making great progress on my Tantric Novel.)

Meditate During Orgasm to Bring More Enlightenment Into The OMG-YES-YES-YESSS – Beducated Magazine

The Boys’ & Girls’ Guide to Giving Great Head Part 1: Essential Oral Tips for Fellatio or Blowjobs.

8 Ways To Be Positive You’re Sex Positive – The Frisky

Meditation Helps Sex, Appreciating the Nude Male Body,

Posted on by admin

Want to learn more about Orgasmic Sex? Here are a few links to articles that can help…

How To Use Meditation To Improve Your Sex Life – mindbodygreen

A Love Letter to Naked Men: No More Double Standards – Appreciating the Nude Male Body

12 Crazy Amazing Facts About The Clitoris | HuffPost

Orgasmic Sex Play-By-Play (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

Unusually, it had been a few days since we made love so we were way hot for each other. Before diving in, we exchanged some sweet everythings and slow sensual massage. We call light all-body caresses with consciousness, “Tantric Touch.”

That’s all it took for our jewels (genitals) to get erect.

We moved to the next level when, with her permission, I put my vajra (penis) inside her. My hard-on descended slowly and shallowly at first. When, after a few initial thrusts, her body language made it clear that she was craving more, I gradually stroked faster and deeper. That propelled us to the next level. Our excitement propelled us to alternate at higher and higher peaks.

Sometimes her G-spot near the opening of her yoni (vagina) prefers to be rubbed or rammed directly. But this time deeper thrusts were producing stronger reactions. She’s so passionate that there’s no doubt what she wants most in each moment.  How loud her moans are, how heavy her breathing is, and how strongly she pushes back tells me more than words could. I call passionate lovers like this responsive.

For fun, instead of having my thrusts penetrate straight in, I rotated my pelvis down so my vajra was entering from below. This prodded the upper wall of her yoni all the way in near the neck of the bladder. Sexologists call that the A-spot where the A stands for anterior. The A-spot is near the fabled G-spot but much further inside. She liked those strokes, but it didn’t make her wail and flail. I love to make her crazy.

I switched by rotating my pelvis upward which aimed my vajra downward as far as it would go into her cul-de-sac. That’s the little crevice behind the cervix up against the womb. Her deeper breathing and louder moans told me that these thrusts made her peaks more dramatic.

But I had a problem. All this energetic in-and-out pushed me too close to the edge of coming. Each time I pushed my cockhead into her cul-de-sac, I almost came. (I’ve always been ultra-sensitive but fortunately Tantra training taught me how to handle the intense precipices of sexual energy.) I had to back off the speed and depth of my thrusts so I could hover on the edge of the cliff without losing it. That’s how I’ve learned to last most of the time as long as we both want. Unfortunately backing off a bit reduced her excitement.

But no worries. We like to dance on the verge for an hour or more at a time. The point where I had to slow up was maybe after a half-an-hour of jewel union (sexual intercourse). In the long run, though, everything worked out perfectly.

Up to this point I had been Tri-Fingering her clio (clitoris) while my vajra was sliding in and out of her yoni. You see, studies have shown that 70% of women need clio stimulation for maximum turn-on and orgasm. She’s one of them most of the time.

Tri-Fingering is my name for using three fingers on her clio. To do that during jewel union, I put my two middle fingers of one hand on either side of my thrusting cock and rub her pussy lips. At the same time with my index finger, I massage her clio.

In spite of her still wanting more (I love that about her), my fingers started to get tired. So she grabbed one of her favorite little vibrators called the Tiani from Lelo, the great Swedish sex toy company. It’s a U-shape with a vibrating bulb in one end that her clio loves. The other end is a little flat prong that inserts into her yoni. Amazingly it holds the Tiani in place so we can go at it hands free.

More bad news. As usual, the inserted prong made penetration tighter. At that moment I was too sensitive for more excitement. When I explained, she just held the vibe on her clio. That made her passion ramp up again. And allowed us to have lots more fun surfing up and down many waves of pleasure.

If you’re into long Orgasmic Sex like we are, you learn that nothing seems to keep producing the same passion for long. Psychologists call it habituation when the sensitivity of tissues gets accustomed to the same repeated stimulation.

When her clio got habituated, she switched to another longtime favorite, the white Pocket Rocket. It’s a slender 3-inch cylinder powered by just one AA battery.  The white one is a few years old and has lost some of its punch. But there’s something about its frequency that’s perfectly tuned to her clio. Someday I hope to sponsor a scientific study of vibration characteristics. I never see manufacturers specifying vibe strength and frequency.

Anyway, whitey on her clit sent her off into a few more cycles of skimming pleasure crests which I happily followed.

Now the good news heading into 45 minutes of coupling was that my sensitivity started to level out. The peaks weren’t threatening to make me loose it as much. So I could stick to my gun, I mean the rhythm that was bringing her close to a climax.

I guess her peaks were leveling a bit too as we approached an hour. Since we play this way on average every other day, we don’t always demand an explosive release. You see, the peaks are so exciting and propagate so much energy through and between our bodies that physical orgasm isn’t always necessary. That’s why we call it Orgasmic Sex instead of sex pressuring us both towards with orgasm. The orgasmic sensations go on and on unlike just a few seconds of them.

We usually play in rounds (yeah, like boxers but much less violent) that typically last 30 to 60 minutes. Sure, sometimes we have shorter quickies. Our longies string together several rounds of going at it like that.

Sorry, I don’t have a name for one round like we were enjoying. A mediumie? No, not a great term. Can you suggest a better one?

As we neared the end of this round she clearly wanted to go over the top. I realized that when she grabbed her newest Pocket Rocket. Since it’s purple, we call it Miss Violet. I bought several different ones from Amazon so we’d have a backup to the aging whitey. It turned out they were all from the same manufacturer in China. The fresh Miss Violet packs a stronger punch and added what she needed for an explosive climax.

It was a classic blended orgasm. That’s one triggered by hitting two sweet spots (erogenous zones) at once. In this case my vajra pumping in and out of the cul-de-sac inside her yoni and Miss Violet on clio’s pearl (erect tip).

Even with all that stimulation, the rhythm of my strokes had to be perfect. Moments when I had to back off interrupted her ascent. But finally I was able to keep on keeping on as she approached climax. Maybe the fourth or fifth peak triggered her explosive orgasm or what we like to call a Big O.

Do you ever pull out right away after coming? We don’t. Orgasmic Sex is such a connection of multiple energy streams that we much prefer to keep my shrinking vajra inside as long as possible.

At first she needs me to be still as the sensations sweep through her. Plus, staying inside allows us to enjoy aftershocks. Sometimes they’re just an involuntary twitch as the energy boils over. But after a couple moments I like to give her another slow stroke. That often triggers a mini-orgasm like it did this time. Actually that worked three or four more times until she was totally spent.

I know we’re there when she covers her suddenly hyper-sensitive clio with hand or pulls away.

And if you’re wondering, no, I didn’t come. The multiple high peaks of pleasure are thoroughly satisfying to me. And in my seventies ejaculating releases too much energy. That can leave me out of the game sometimes for a few days. Taoist physicians specify that at my age I should never come. But I’m a Tantric which means the only rules I follow are what works for my body. At this point it’s been quite a few weeks since I made a big wet spot. Well see when it asks for. I love that preservingjy sexual energy this way  keeps my old body horny, hard, and desiring more.

Well, that’s one of our Tantric mottos: more, More, MORE! I hope you have fun going for more like I’ve just described.

 

 

Love, Somraj

 

 

 

P.S. Many of these techniques are excerpted from our new book, Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex, which will be published by Llewellyn Worldwide next spring. If you’re interested, make a comment below or shoot me an email here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/somrajemailform.htm

New Twist: Polishing the Pearl

Posted on by Somraj

My sweetie likes it a lot when I play with her clio (clit) while we’re fucking. How can I tell? Well, it’s downright obvious when she bucks and howls in sync with my finger strokes.

We’ve fucked maybe 2000 times in our 21 years together. So how is it that I keep stumbling on new moves that move her?  Just luck? No, I think it’s the dedicated practice of Orgasmic Sex. Let me explain.

We we’re stroking away last night in our favorite position when we’re tired and stoned: the scissors with her on her back and me on my side at a right angle.

I was stroking her erect clio with my middle finger at the same time that my first and third fingers were fiddling around the edges. After about 15 minutes, her reactions made it clear that she wanted something even stronger. So I started tapping her swollen pearl which made her butt keep bouncing up to meet my fingers.

When your lover pushes back in rhythm, you know what you’re doing is working. But one side effect was that it made vajra’s strokes (Tantric for penis) shallower. As a result, my cock head was vigorously rubbing just inside yoni’s mouth (vagina) on her outlet. That’s the most exposed end of her G-spot where her urethral canal opens to the outside world. Because the spongy tissue surrounding the canal is so sensitive, this vajra stroke excited her even more.

That’s when I invented a new thrilling new move. Actually it was an accident. Because my vajra was entering at a sharp angle from below and prodding just inside the upper wall of yoni’s mouth, it popped out across her clio. In Orgasmic Sex we have a don’t panic rule when something untoward happens. So I slightly shifted my finger taps onto my cock head and pushed it back in without missing a beat.

Her higher-pitched squeal confirmed that I was onto something worthwhile. So I repeated the move over and over. Eventually it morphed into me pushing vajra’s head down across her erect pearl and her outlet with my fingers on vajra’s in-stroke. I lightened the pressure from my fingers on the out-stroke which let my erect cock head emerge. Pushing in again allowed my vajra to polish her clio upwards. In effect, I was alternating pushing inside her yoni and rubbing across her vestibule. That’s the courtyard inside the inner lips from yoni’s mouth across the outlet and up to clio’s base.

I never read about this sexual stroke in all my studies of the Kama Sutra and Tantric texts. I guess it goes to show that Orgasmic Sex never gets old and boring if you pay attention and go with the flow.

Let me know how you like my new Pearl Polishing stroke. And I look forward to hearing about new strokes that you invent, too.

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

What an Astounding Series of Multiple Orgasms!

Posted on by Somraj

I didn’t count how many orgasms I had last night, but it was at least six. Which was great because my wife was done early with a quick explosive climax leaving me wanting lots more.

You read that right, I’m a guy who has multiple orgasms. I didn’t always. It’s something I learned through lots of practice.

Now I didn’t say I ejaculated each time. In fact, I didn’t at all. The series of sexual crescendos was so satisfying that I didn’t need to.

One of the first things I learned in Tantra training was to separate orgasm from ejaculation. So my series of multiple orgasms were decidedly different than making a big wet spot. In fact, they were each quite unique. That’s partly because most of my climaxes were Tantric energy orgasms. That’s where you have all the glorious sensations of coming without the ejaculatory spasms that drain your energy.

Here’s how things went down. After a little break that allowed her to recover, she gave my vajra (penis) some delicious sucking until I was hot and hard. My excitement soared in surges of passion, but she stopped before I got too high. When she moved between my legs, my hands took over so she could concentrate on my rosetta (asshole).

If you’re new to the whole idea of orgasmic sex, you should know that we don’t rush headlong to the biggest explosion possible. Instead we stay as high as we can for as long as we want. I call it the O-Zone where you make those powerful sensations just before coming continue on and on.

The way we do orgasmic sex, whether we’re giving pleasure, self-pleasuring, or just fucking, is in cycles. That means we soar up to a peak of pleasure, maybe float there a bit, and then come down and relax for a moment before another cycle. My first couple peaks happened in vajra’s head from the stroking up and down my shaft that felt so electric.

When you play in the Tantric arena of energy orgasms, sometimes it’s hard to say if a sexual peak is high enough to qualify as an orgasm. Well, classifying them was less important than the delight that the rising tide triggered inside me as the peaks got higher.

But there was more going on than a little solo masturbation. As my wife was lubing up and fingering my rosetta, the locus, the exact location, of the turn-on began to shift. Then I had my next orgasm culminating in rolling anal convulsions. The physical phenomenon resembled the pulsing of my prostate gland when I do ejaculate. Except it was happening in the sphincters and muscles around rosetta’s short canal.

That orgasm was more on the physical side than purely energetic ones that spread heat, electricity, and vibration throughout my body. But it did release some rays of electricity that excited more of the surrounding tissues. It was those energy rays that triggered my next one. It felt like sound waves propagating up my spine. Kind of like the reverberations you would feel if you stood in front of the bassist’s speaker at a rock concert.

As my wife replaced her fingers with my favorite vibrator stroking in and out of my rosetta, the erotic charge expanded and filled more of my body’s bioenergetic field. That became clearer when cascades of prickly heat shot up my torso. That upwelling of sexual energy made my scalp bristle and my hair stand on end.

Now that one was way different from the previous three or four. And so was the next one. It felt like passion grenades exploding in my prostate. That sent blossoms of excitement reaching everywhere.

I call what we were doing to my body a hot link. That’s a sexual energy channel that connects two erogenous zones. In this case, my vajra and backdoor. Actually there are eighteen of these sweet spots in and around a guy’s crotch. And I surely had connected several hot links between several of these hot areas.

Then the energy in my prostate and vajra’s head started pulsing and sending out flares of erotic charge. Looking down inside it felt like a barbell with fireworks detonating at each end of the hot link. That climax felt like the barbell vibrating and sending off streamers of excitement throughout my body. I’ve felt that before, when the locus of boiling sensation shifts from one end of the energy channel to the other and back again.

I think it was the energy surging back and forth on the vajra-prostate barbell that triggered my big one. It launched me into the orbit of the O-Zone for maybe two minutes. This final orgasm was truly a blended one, combining many of the sensations of all the previous ones. The rolling thunder pulsed here, exploded there, and kept shifting around to many of my sweet spots.

Even though I didn’t drain any sperm, having my body reverberate so intensely for nearly an hour did leave me spent. But it was the kind of temporary exhaustion that let me revel in all the ecstatic feelings I’d experienced.

If you’d like to learn how to do this, please email me. I’ll likely suggest you get a copy of my Male Multiple Orgasm book or download my Tantric Male Multiple G-Spot Orgasm. I also do coaching and training for singles and couples.

For the ultimate guidebook, you’ll have to wait until Fall 2019 when our new book Tantric Pathways to Supernatural Sex is published by Llewellyn Worldwide.

Until then, have fun and lots of sexual pleasure. You can bet I will.

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

The Morning After the Marathon Was Way Hot But Different

Posted on by Somraj

I love having sex the morning after a long marathon of wild erotic lovemaking. But it’s way different. More like melted chocolate than thunder and lightning.

Since we simply do what feels good to ourselves and each other, that’s fine. Orgasmic Sex doesn’t to be a tear-your-clothes-off, shake-the-rafters, break-the-bed kind of romp. Sometimes it’s sweet and slow. Like our last morning-after coupling.

We slept well the night after, but the day before started around 2 pm and ended close to midnight. So we were both pretty tired.

There was ample interest for more. She laid back against the pillows and spread her legs. Sitting between her legs, I was once again awed by how beautiful her pussy was. In my typical mock macho tone I threatened, “You know what’s gonna happen when you wave that tempting thing at me, don’t you?”

She just smiled back seductively.

So I sat between her legs and she put her bent legs over my thighs. My soft cock was only a few inches from her clean-shaven crack. Even after our strenuous antics of the day and night before, I still wanted to be inside her. I admired the work of art that her cushy lips and peaking pearl (that’s the tip of her clio or clitoris) displayed only for me. At least as long as I could stand it just watching.

Before long I couldn’t resist touching. My fingertip moved slowly and gently at first, playing with her fleshy outer lips. When I spread them with my two index fingertips, I could see her thin inner lips turning pink. With a little wetness on my fingerpads, I traced those delicate petals up, down, and around.

That’s when she started to squirm.

It was so damn tempting to put something inside her pussy’s widening mouth. But I’m a lover trained in the ancient erotic arts of Tantra who glories in making it last. I tarried until I could see her brows knit and her motions get jerkier.

Yet I didn’t immediately give her what she clearly wanted. Instead I scooted forward and took my semi-hard cock in my hand. With the soft wet foreskin, I massaged first around her outer lips and then her inner lips.

Have you discovered how tantalizing cockhead massage circles can be?

Her moans made it clear she was enjoying these erotic caresses. They turned to deeper groans when I shifted to up and down strokes. The up-stroke teased her pussy’s mouth and lingered through her vestibule. (That’s the super-soft pink tissue that surrounds the opening.) I started back down across her fourchette (the folds of tissue at the bottom of the vaginal opening) and even lower. But she stopped me from crossing her backdoor by shaking her head “no.”

I guess all that vigorous thrusting back there the night before left her a little sore.

No worries, I just stroked up and down over her yoni (the Tantric name for pussy) a few times until she squealed with delight and relaxed. After a brief pause, I lengthened my cockhead massage to cross up between her inner lips and over her pearl. Because I was totally hard by then, this rougher stimulation was more intense. But she was turned-on enough to take all I could offer this way for a few more faster, harder, superficial strokes.

We like to call this kind of dalliance “loveplay” instead of foreplay which commits us to penetration. But what she did next made it clear I was committed to enter her.

Every time my cockhead slowly passed her now halfway gaping opening, she thrust her hips towards me. I admit freely that I knew what she wanted, but I played coy for a couple more passes. That’s when she yelled “Fuck me now goddamit!” So I relented.

Well, not completely. I initially used the technique the football players in the locker used to joke about. You know the one where the stud says, “I’ll only put the first inch in”? Well, that’s what I did. Actually I just continued the cockhead massage inside the first inch of her canal. She has a particularly responsive outlet. That’s the little opening at the top of the pussy’s mouth where the pee comes out. And it’s also the end of the spongy tissue on the upper wall that most lovers mistakenly call the G-Spot.

It’s not a fixed spot but a rough swollen crest that extends inside for a couple inches or so. That’s why call it the G-crest instead.

You might be wondering how I learned this kind of loveplay. I’ve studied all the detailed erogenous zones in both gender’s sexual anatomy via websites, books, and the bodies of various lovers. Women have fifteen different sweet spots outside and ten more inside. Stimulating them is what brings the most pleasure. And doing that just long enough is what triggers the different kinds of orgasm that women can experience.

Anyway, she didn’t let my cockhead play with her outlet very long. As I thrust inward, she pushed back driving me deeper each time. Gradually I went further and further. That’s because I know she has ultra-sensitive deep sweet spots. The night before she really loved me pounding them. But not this morning. About half-way in she stopped pushing back. I missed this cue at first and tried to prod the deeper erogenous zones. But when there was little response, I got the message.

She wanted my cock to rub the first couple inches of her G-crest around and past her outlet. It was even better when I raised my hips and rubbed my shaft against this swollen area. The harder I pushed up, the stronger her peaks of pleasure. She had maybe three or four crescendos until a louder one that rocked her vigorously.

But she didn’t have enough energy to go over the top. And I didn’t have enough energy to try and make it happen. Which is the point of this article. Whatever happened or didn’t, it was all good because it felt so good.

I tried scooting back and down so I could enter from the bottom of her yoni. That’s how I sometimes prod her outlet directly with my cockhead instead of rubbing it with my shaft. Sometimes the direct jab drives her crazy. But not today.

Remember we were tired. These gyrations were straining our already overworked muscles too much. So I switched to the Scissor Position where I lay on my side and entered between her legs.

The reason she likes this position is that I can play with her clio while my vajra is thrusting. To boost the electricity, this time she adder her little vibe to her clio. That made her shake and wail again briefly.

Then she said, “Sorry, but that’s all I’ve got today. Yesterday wore me out, I guess.” With protesting muscles and an uncertain erectile future, I didn’t protest.

Even with our limitations, we had lots of fun and pleasure for half-an-hour. If you were in this situation, wouldn’t you have preferred the lazy coupling to skipping it entirely?

The reason I wrote this blog post was to give you a real-life example of Super-Natural Tantric Sex. That’s where you work together to hit each other’s sweet spots the best ways possible for as long as they’re responding. It’s a partnership that makes you both feel orgasmic so much longer than an explosive orgasm can do.

And to share how to do all this is why I wrote my latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making. If you want sex to be all it can be, download a copy now.

Love, Somraj

Label What You’re Doing to Make Tantric Sex More Orgasmic

Posted on by Somraj

My vajra (cock) was happily stroking away inside my wife Jeffre’s yoni (pussy) when she said, “where’s Tiani?”

No, that’s not our girlfriend’s name. It’s a little U-shaped vibrator from Lelo that’s designed for clio (clitoris) stimulation during jewel union. (We’re spiritual teachers so we don’t like to call it fucking until we know that graphic language doesn’t offend whoever we’re working with.)

So I turned Tiani on and brought it to where our jewels (genitals) were connected. Magically, one prong of Tiani’s U slipped inside her yoni. I figured that was what she wanted since she moaned louder, spread her legs wider, and pushed back on my in-strokes.

That’s when Jeffre asked if Tiani was inside her. My mistake, I should have told her what I was doing.

A basic part of Tantric sex is communication. In this case, the giver of pleasure informs the receiver about what they’re doing and what’s going on down there. Even with lots of practice we don’t always know what our playmate is doing where we can’t see. Most people are so out of touch with their bodies, especially their private parts, so that they can’t really connect the sensations they’re getting with their specific body parts.

I call telling your playmate what you’re doing to them and where labeling your actions.

Not verbally labeling what I was doing with Tiani wasn’t a major felony. In spite of my omission, we both exploded in a big simultaneous orgasm. It’s just that I missed an opportunity to improve Jeffre and Tiani’s relationship. Sure, the relationship between a live person and a sex toy is different than the marriage we share. But Tiani is a new member of our sex team and we’re still learning where, when, and how to use her.

The importance of labelling is on my mind lately while I’m revising our latest book into a new version entitled Pathways to Super-Natural Sex. In it I go to great lengths to explain how important partnership is to help us we both reach high peaks of pleasure. I feel blessed that I’ve been so well trained by my hot wife and other sexy lovers to satisfy them.

But that doesn’t mean that in every moment I know what a woman is feeling and wants more of and less of.

Part of our sexual teamwork is that we keep each other informed about what we’re experiencing. I don’t mean we talk all the time. That would disturb the sense of otherworldly rapture that Tantric Sex specializes in. It would put us in heads too much which would distract us from being able to run and stream orgasmic energy.

With just a few words we usually inform each other of changes that we liked or changes that are needed.

After Jeffre asked what our new toy was up to, I explained where Tiani’s two legs were. Then she could tell what was causing the sensations that were making her wail and flail in a good way. I had Tiani’s flat flange inside her yoni. It’s designed to allow room for my erection’s thrusts in her canal.

When I placed Tiani’s rounded vibrating leg against her clio, she almost levitated off the bed and rattled my spine with her gyrations.

If you haven’t been following my orgasmic sex feed lately, you might not have read about how critical clio stimulation is for women’s orgasms. Studies have shown that 70% of women need it to come regardless of what’s happening inside their yoni. Jeffre can come without it, but a vibe on her pearl often makes it easier and quicker.

Which is probably one of the reasons she exploded in just about ten minutes with my vajra and our new friend Tiani. Oh, I forgot to mention that the vibration does wonderful things to my sensations, too. That’s probably why I came with her this time.

Afterwards Jeffre said she really liked Tiani. That was gratifying as the U-vibe had been a present for our last anniversary that we hadn’t taken full advantage of. I’m hoping we’ll use it more now when we’re lusting for something more. And the more I label what I’m doing with Tiani, the more aware Jeffre will be about what causes the sensations she craves. Then she’ll be more able to ask for what she wants and guide me to make every stroke extra special.

This is a great example of one of the foundations of orgasmic Tantric Sex. I’m not all knowing so I don’t dominate all the proceedings. We do change off being in charge. But even when one of us is receiving, we’re also leading. So when she feels Tiani working on her, she lets me know how to get the most out of it.

Another example is when Jeffre is using my favorite vibe in my rosetta (anus). At first I couldn’t tell what she was doing. But the more she announces and explains, the better I can guide her actions. Frankly once one of us gets in an ecstatic groove, it’s the shrieks and gyrations of pleasure that we heed. Little chance of talking when we’re flying so high.

I know letting it all hang out is challenging for lots of lovers. Once I was super inhibited, too. But if you have a willing and loving partner, why don’t you experiment with talking more and showing your turn-on.

I bet you’ll love it. Or should that be “try it you’ll like it”?

 

 

 

Love, Somraj

Supercharged V8 Pleasure from Butt Play

Posted on by Somraj

I spent a lot of years having sex that didn’t involve my butt. It was usually great but I had no idea what I was missing.

How come? Well, I was worried that it was dirty. And I was so tight-assed that first attempts at entry hurt.

But mostly I had no idea how incredible it could be.

Three things helped me change all that. First was my Tantra training 20 years ago. That’s how I learned about pelvic armoring. Armoring is when parts of the body get perennially stiff and tense from false beliefs, traumas, and other negative experiences. An armored crotch is a common byproduct of toilet training. As is getting caught masturbating or doing it in the back of your old Chevy. It’s a condition many of us share due to frustrating, stressful, or painful sexual experiences.

Tantra taught me that slow, gentle, deep bodywork can help clear armoring back there. And other places too like a woman’s yoni (vagina).

Over the years I’ve had a lot of this kind of clearing thanks to my wife’s supportive sex-positive attitude. And my FOMO (fear of missing out). Gradually the tension was replaced with more relaxation and more pleasure.

Why does anal play feel so good? Well, it’s naughty and some of us like to walk on the wild side. Yes, that includes me, first in line for something new and kinky.  Plus, the tissues are connected to my other highly sensitive jewels. You remember what that old song says,  “the ass bone is connected to the cock bone?”

Oh, yeah, let’s not forget how many nerve endings are down there.

The second thing was my longtime girlfriend who is a colonic hydrotherapist. That is to say that she specializes in enemas. Now this is a beautiful and sexy woman who is very butt friendly. And always clean.

Not to mention how much she likes me fucking her fresh butt.

Now I’ve tried enemas before and thought it wasn’t really worth all the trouble. Well, until I got hooked on ass play. Then we remodeled our bathroom and installed a bidet so that we’d have cleaner jewels all the time. Little did I realize how motivated I’d be to wash my butt after each visit to the toilet.

So after this third thing I had no excuse but to start using fingers and toys in my backdoor. The more I did it, the more I loved it.

It seems to me that anal play adds more cylinders to my 4-cylinder sexual motor. The pleasure I get is now more like the power of a high-performance V8 engine.

Something else is happening too. While a hand, mouth, or yoni is stroking my cock, active fingers or a vibrating butt plug supercharges my pleasure. It’s more than just stronger sensations. Backdoor stimulation blends in a whole new sort of rocket fuel into the mix.

You might wonder why that would be. If you know anything about a guy’s orgasm control center, you understand. I’m talking about the prostate gland. Or what some call the male G-Spot.

When my G-spot is prodded, it’s as if a swarm of pleasure bees are released inside. They wait in the hive around my prostate until they’re awakened. Then their fast little wings massage me from the inside and make me swoon each time they stream through my body.

Last night I had several 30 to 60 second orgasms that way. They were a new variety that I’ve only had before with my vajra (penis) being excited. I call them dry orgasms because there’s no ejaculation.

Still, everything in my pelvis was vibrating at a high frequency spreading waves of sensation everywhere. Like I was driving 100 mph on the freeway until I blasted into orbit. The muscles that make me squirt were convulsing big time except the one around my prostate gland that ejects semen. That’s why I can have them over and over for a long while.

In my new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making three of the twelve different types of orgasm are exclusively for men: Ejaculation, G-spot, and Dry. So I was having lovely energy eruptions that blended the last two.

You know, I’ve been practicing Tantric Sex for 20 years now and it’s amazing how much I keep discovering. If you’re like me and love to explore your inner erotic world, I highly recommend it.

Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed

Posted on by Somraj

The average length of sexual encounters is 5 to 10 minutes. Totally understandable because it’s so exciting. I often get swept away into a blaze of glory, too.

But when someone practices extended energy sex routinely as I do, they enter a totally different zone. By surfing from peak to peak of startling excitement instead of exploding, the whole experience changes. It changes from instant gratification to seeing how high I can make every cell in my body.

Until I dedicated myself to prolonging my pleasure, I barely noticed the currents of sensation streaming throughout my body.

In Tantra we call it sexual energy. My latest book Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines it this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

During my recent self-pleasuring sessions, I’ve been watching the ebbs and flows and movement of sexual energy. While surfing from crest to crest of pleasure peaks, I’ve become more aware of what’s actually happening in my body.

Sexual Electricity

I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle.

When I channel the sexual energy away from my jewels, it feels like electricity running through the rest of my body. 

The more aware of sexual electricity I am, the longer I can make the zenith of pleasure last. You know, that irresistible force right before you come that feels so amazing.

By opening the energy conduits, I can spread the excitement which allows me to go higher for longer than I ever imagined. Feeling like I’m coming continuously. Orgasms that last so much longer than the typical 10-second sneeze. Sometimes minutes or more.

I guess that makes me a sexual electrician.

It’s a job title I’ve long aspired to. And a badge of office I will wear proudly. That’s because it’s sexual electricity that makes sex feel so sensational.

If you’re interested, here’s my first course outline for Sexual Electricity 101. It’s the primer for orgasmic sex leading to full-body orgasm. Hopefully appearing soon at major universities and elementary schools everywhere.

Your Sexual Energy Generator

Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create.

It feels so fucking good that you want more. And want it to last.

But it’s so intense when it’s compressed into the small zone of your groin. So you spread it. The buzzing and sizzling of your tissues widens and expands. This makes more of your body feel sensational.

And without all of your body feeling sensational, full-body orgasm is unlikely.

When I say “sensational,” I don’t just mean super exciting. I mean bubbling and percolating, roiling and boiling, and overflowing with sensation.

That’s what happens when the sexual electricity flows through your organs, muscles, and bones. Your nerves vibrate making your organs quiver, your muscles shiver, and your bones pulse. And the more all of this happens, the stronger the sensations.

So when you consciously open the energy valves, these sensations stream up and down your body. Ever curled your toes while coming? Ever felt your knees quake? Ever felt your legs bouncing off the bed? Well, that’s the energy descending.

Since there’s a lot more of you from the waist up, you need even more rising energy to blow your mind. To make your heart beat faster, your fingertips spark, your eyes roll, and your scalp tingle.

Sexual Electricity Patterns

I find sexual electricity follows certain patterns when it rises through me.

To understand them, let’s review what Thomas Edison discovered. When electrons flow in one direction through a wire from a battery to a light bulb, we call it DC or direct current.

I don’t really know the complete physics of sexual electricity, but to continue my lesson let’s just assume there are sexual elections. Little particles of energy that excite what they land on.

Edison found that more electrons were lost and waisted when DC had to travel longer. So he used AC, alternating current, when the electrons jiggle back and forth without moving too far. If you’ve ever been shocked from an appliance in your home, you’ve felt AC. Your nerves and muscles pulsate intensely without going anywhere. That’s why it’s hard to let go.

When you open the floodgates around your jewels, sexual energy flows out. This electrical current follows nerves and more subtle channels like the ones acupuncturists and Tantric adepts work with.

I can actually feel the prickly sensations in my crotch soften as the current moves up and down. That’s what makes other parts of my body turn-on.

When my channels fill with sexual electricity, it feels like AC current to me. The parts of my body affected quiver and quake with pleasure.

Amps Versus Volts

Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.

Amps measures how much current is flowing. How many sexual electrons have you generated and directed somewhere.

Or to use the analogy of a river, amperage is how much water is flowing. How wide and deep the river is. The bigger the channel, the stronger the sensations spreading to the extremities.

When I only generate a little sexual electricity, I might not even get hard. With more current, I might find my skin tingling a few places. With top output, my whole body shakes and vibrates with heat and magnetism.

It’s as if there’s a conduit of sexual electricity from head to toe pulsing like a guitar string. Or a smaller banjo string. Or a larger bass fiddle string.

Sometimes I can keep that peak flow going for 30 to 60 minutes without stopping. Other less-exciting times it surges for a few seconds or minutes. One of my favorites is when a ball of sexual energy seems to erupt with an expanding blossom of sensation. Like a pleasure grenade exploding in different spots inside.

Sometimes that erotic current reaches my legs, my chest, my neck, my head. I can actually feel the sensations streaming from my groin.

When I can keep the flow going for some minutes, I can sense the sexual elections moving continuously. Other times I feel pulses and surges following my energy channels. From inside they look like streamers of fire that can erupt into fireworks.

We can’t ignore sexual magnetism while we’re at it. Did you know that an electric current creates magnetism? So when you’re flowing sexual energy, it magnetizes your skin, muscles, and bones. This force not only energizes your passion, but also attracts others. Maybe it’s part of the pheromone phenomenon.

Sexual Volts

Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ.

Obviously, most of us need high voltage to reach orgasm. Without enough sexual charge, your chances for full-body orgasm are slim.

When your sexual voltage is high, it pushes the sensations faster and further around your body. That is, as long as there’s enough energy to excite everywhere it touches.

Sexual voltage tends to dissipate unless it’s continuously reinforced. So most of the time when you’re still during sex, your excitement gradually decreases. And the faster you go, the more intense the electrical charge you build .

Confining your sexual electricity in a relatively small space, like your loins, keeps the voltage high. So your sensations are stronger. Spreading it all over tends to lower the excitement.

Now if you can generate enough sexual electricity to fill your whole body at high voltage, you’ll almost levitate with passion.

Sexual Watts

Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms.

You calculate sexual watts — the impact of your experience — by multiplying amps times volts. So the more current you’re generating at higher voltages, the more intense your passion.

Now it’s natural, as you first get turned-on, to push against the erotic current. By tensing up, a skilled sexual electrician is trying to confine the electricity to a smaller space. This increases the voltage so your sensations are more intense. That’s partly why doing pelvic muscle exercises can strengthen your pleasure and orgasms.

But when you tense up while turned-on, you reduce the current flow.

As a sexual electrician’s arousal rises and their loins erupt into a sizzling pot of sexual excitement, they relax and consciously open the valves. The electricity flows out. How turned on they get all over their body depends on how much current and how charged the voltage they’ve generated. The sexual watts — amps times volts — determines how much sensation the rest of their body feels.

Why would you want to fill your whole body with a huge volume of high-voltage sexual electricity?

Why, for full-body orgasms of course. Try it, you’ll like it.

No Doubt There’s More to Come

I hope this primer inspires you to practice managing your sexual electricity.

I’ve called it the 101 entry level course because my intuition suggests there’s lots more to learn. I’m looking forward to my coming practice sessions.

I hope you are, too.

Love, Somraj