I used to be a scientist. Well, OK, I was a research wannabe. Even though I’m relatively intelligent and got into and graduated from one of the best science schools, it was just way hard for me to understand the overly complex language they used in their journals. So I opted for something more real — to me anyway —  teaching communication, people skills, and team-building. That was before I became a self-appointed sexologist.

Now I read a lot of articles about sex research and still run into the same mind-boggling obfuscations. See what I mean? I could have said words that make things unnecessarily complicated. Though I’m not declaring war on anything, I hope you’ll bear with me for a few examples…

Female Copulatory Vocalization

When women make sounds during jewel union (sexual intercourse). “Wow, honey, your female copulatory vocalization stimulated a harmonious neurotropic reaction in my pudendal nerve.” Really?

Psychogenic Erection

When the mind gives both women and men an erection from seeing a naked body or sexy picture or reading an erotic story. I used to stewing at the drop of a hat as a teenager. And up to 50 or so. Good for sexting I guess.

Epididymal Hypertension

Blue balls, you know what happens if a guy gets aroused and doesn’t cum or move the energy out of his jewels (genitals) after lengthy sexual play. We should all be so lucky, right?

Arousal Concordance

When your body gets turned-on but you don’t feel sexually aroused, or vice versa. The definition I read was “when bodies evince arousal without being accompanied by a subjective sense of physical tumescence.”

If you run across any others, please comment and add to this list.