Month: May 2017

The Pretzel Sex Position: Gyrations That Trigger Multiple Blended Orgasms (X-Rated)

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We’ve been really getting off on multiple blended orgasms in our latest greatest sex position. I call it The Pretzel Position. Let me explain.

Our favorite sex positions have changed over the twenty years we’ve been doing it together. Sure, we’ve toured all the rooms in the house — and locales on the deck and in our big backyard — but there are just certain postures that let us hit the best spots.

As we’ve been exploring more and more of our erogenous zones, we’ve been doing whatever we can to add them to our in-and-out sex.

When it’s late and we’re tired, we gravitate to the Scissors Position. This is side-to-sex sex with her on her back and me on my side at right angles. The name comes from how our legs have to intertwine: my lower one underneath, and my upper one between her legs. Or sometimes she puts both her legs up above mine so I have unimpeded access to her pussy.

The great thing about the Scissors Position is that I can easily play with her clio (clitoris) while sliding in and out of her. And if we’re both so moved, I can twirl her nipple with the other hand.

You could say what my hands are doing is what gives the Pretzel Position its name, but then it’s only one-sided. When she’s not swept away in rapture, she’s been known to give me a little ball grazing. Somehow gently tickling my tight sacs really boosts my excitement.

So with each of our hands so engaged, our bodies do look more like a pretzel.

Blended Orgasms

Here’s how we open pathways to blended orgasms. That’s when you trigger huge pleasure peaks from more than one erogenous zone. Blending clio and pussy stimulation is one of our standards. When you’ve got two triggers firing at once, the energy generated is tremendously boosted.

If you’ve read any of my recent posts, you know I’ve been opening up my butt zone to more and more incredible pleasure. Since she’s a dedicated loving wife, while I’m titillating three of her erogenous zones (pussy, clio, nipple), she’s been offering to play with my rosetta. That’s our first Tantra teacher’s preferred name for the asshole. Not only is that a sweeter term but it kind looks like a little rose, don’t you think?

Here’s where the real pretzeling comes in. I have to rotate my lower body up towards her chest so she can reach my butthole. The good news is that her finger dancing back and forth my swelling pink opening often sends a jolt of energy throughout my body.

If you missed it, you can learn all about jolts and streamers of sexual energy in my last post Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed.

If you haven’t realized it yet, let me be explicit: we’re way into energy sex. Not that we don’t love the waves of pleasure that slippery friction produce. It’s just that we major in amplifying, channeling, and spreading the sexual electricity so our whole bodies get turned-on. While my cock is pumping her pussy, of course.

The bad news is that we can’t hold that knotted-up posture for very long. But never fear. Here’s where my experiments with a new crop of sex toys really paid off.

Unfortunately it’s tricky to sink a butt plug home from the The Pretzel Position. So we have to disengage for a moment for her to slide one home. That’s usually about the time that I start wailing with ecstasy. She really likes that about me, too.

Back in the saddle, I’ve got my hands on her juicy spots and she’s pumping my rosetta my latest vibrating dildo throb. Well, it’s kind of a heart throb too because of all the energy that’s circulating up and down making my body jackknife.

A Moving Target

Since I can’t lie still with my cock and my butt generating off such intense sensations, that makes her job even more challenging. I revel in being a moving target.

At times she can hold the butt plug in with her foot but that usually doesn’t last long either. Some people can retain a butt plug with their sphincters alone but the more backdoor play I enjoy, the looser I get. Besides, some in-and-out with the cock-shaped dildo makes it even better.

Now, you can imagine that we’re both moaning and vibrating and gyrating with delight. So we don’t want pretzeling to stop. Fortunately, there’s nothing in the scriptures that prevents each us from taking over our own pleasure.

I take over control of the faux dick in my rosetta with my lower hand. That makes it tough for me to reach her clio with my upper hand. There’s just no way to get around her thigh. So she takes over playing with herself. Usually with her favorite Pocket Rocket vibe. 

I guess that still looks like we’re a big pretzel with our hands on ourselves and our jewels locked together. And this way we can go for as long as we want. Yay!

As we’re rocking and rolling away in ecstasy, we’re generating super intense energies from each of these erogenous zones. The voltage is higher, the current is wider, and the merging of all this sexual electromagnetism is phenomenal.

That’s where blended orgasms come from. The tides from her pussy and clio collide. The waves from my prostate and cock join together. This opens wider channels inside each of us. And since we’re so in tune with each other’s energy, we start circling energy back and forth between us.

That’s the real delicious part of the Pretzel Position. The excitement swirling around and through our bodies like a big erotic pretzel. And the longer we keep it going, the higher our pleasure peaks get. We’re so turned-on that we’ve got the energy to keep detonating orgasm after orgasm as long as we can.

I hope pretzeling works for you. But you may need some adjustments based on your anatomy and preferences. Have fun experimenting and I look forward to hearing all about it.

Love, Somraj

Sexual Electricity 101: The Mysterious Secret of Full-Body Orgasm Revealed

Posted on by Somraj

The average length of sexual encounters is 5 to 10 minutes. Totally understandable because it’s so exciting. I often get swept away into a blaze of glory, too.

But when someone practices extended energy sex routinely as I do, they enter a totally different zone. By surfing from peak to peak of startling excitement instead of exploding, the whole experience changes. It changes from instant gratification to seeing how high I can make every cell in my body.

Until I dedicated myself to prolonging my pleasure, I barely noticed the currents of sensation streaming throughout my body.

In Tantra we call it sexual energy. My latest book Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines it this way…

The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

During my recent self-pleasuring sessions, I’ve been watching the ebbs and flows and movement of sexual energy. While surfing from crest to crest of pleasure peaks, I’ve become more aware of what’s actually happening in my body.

Sexual Electricity

I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle.

When I channel the sexual energy away from my jewels, it feels like electricity running through the rest of my body. 

The more aware of sexual electricity I am, the longer I can make the zenith of pleasure last. You know, that irresistible force right before you come that feels so amazing.

By opening the energy conduits, I can spread the excitement which allows me to go higher for longer than I ever imagined. Feeling like I’m coming continuously. Orgasms that last so much longer than the typical 10-second sneeze. Sometimes minutes or more.

I guess that makes me a sexual electrician.

It’s a job title I’ve long aspired to. And a badge of office I will wear proudly. That’s because it’s sexual electricity that makes sex feel so sensational.

If you’re interested, here’s my first course outline for Sexual Electricity 101. It’s the primer for orgasmic sex leading to full-body orgasm. Hopefully appearing soon at major universities and elementary schools everywhere.

Your Sexual Energy Generator

Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create.

It feels so fucking good that you want more. And want it to last.

But it’s so intense when it’s compressed into the small zone of your groin. So you spread it. The buzzing and sizzling of your tissues widens and expands. This makes more of your body feel sensational.

And without all of your body feeling sensational, full-body orgasm is unlikely.

When I say “sensational,” I don’t just mean super exciting. I mean bubbling and percolating, roiling and boiling, and overflowing with sensation.

That’s what happens when the sexual electricity flows through your organs, muscles, and bones. Your nerves vibrate making your organs quiver, your muscles shiver, and your bones pulse. And the more all of this happens, the stronger the sensations.

So when you consciously open the energy valves, these sensations stream up and down your body. Ever curled your toes while coming? Ever felt your knees quake? Ever felt your legs bouncing off the bed? Well, that’s the energy descending.

Since there’s a lot more of you from the waist up, you need even more rising energy to blow your mind. To make your heart beat faster, your fingertips spark, your eyes roll, and your scalp tingle.

Sexual Electricity Patterns

I find sexual electricity follows certain patterns when it rises through me.

To understand them, let’s review what Thomas Edison discovered. When electrons flow in one direction through a wire from a battery to a light bulb, we call it DC or direct current.

I don’t really know the complete physics of sexual electricity, but to continue my lesson let’s just assume there are sexual elections. Little particles of energy that excite what they land on.

Edison found that more electrons were lost and waisted when DC had to travel longer. So he used AC, alternating current, when the electrons jiggle back and forth without moving too far. If you’ve ever been shocked from an appliance in your home, you’ve felt AC. Your nerves and muscles pulsate intensely without going anywhere. That’s why it’s hard to let go.

When you open the floodgates around your jewels, sexual energy flows out. This electrical current follows nerves and more subtle channels like the ones acupuncturists and Tantric adepts work with.

I can actually feel the prickly sensations in my crotch soften as the current moves up and down. That’s what makes other parts of my body turn-on.

When my channels fill with sexual electricity, it feels like AC current to me. The parts of my body affected quiver and quake with pleasure.

Amps Versus Volts

Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.

Amps measures how much current is flowing. How many sexual electrons have you generated and directed somewhere.

Or to use the analogy of a river, amperage is how much water is flowing. How wide and deep the river is. The bigger the channel, the stronger the sensations spreading to the extremities.

When I only generate a little sexual electricity, I might not even get hard. With more current, I might find my skin tingling a few places. With top output, my whole body shakes and vibrates with heat and magnetism.

It’s as if there’s a conduit of sexual electricity from head to toe pulsing like a guitar string. Or a smaller banjo string. Or a larger bass fiddle string.

Sometimes I can keep that peak flow going for 30 to 60 minutes without stopping. Other less-exciting times it surges for a few seconds or minutes. One of my favorites is when a ball of sexual energy seems to erupt with an expanding blossom of sensation. Like a pleasure grenade exploding in different spots inside.

Sometimes that erotic current reaches my legs, my chest, my neck, my head. I can actually feel the sensations streaming from my groin.

When I can keep the flow going for some minutes, I can sense the sexual elections moving continuously. Other times I feel pulses and surges following my energy channels. From inside they look like streamers of fire that can erupt into fireworks.

We can’t ignore sexual magnetism while we’re at it. Did you know that an electric current creates magnetism? So when you’re flowing sexual energy, it magnetizes your skin, muscles, and bones. This force not only energizes your passion, but also attracts others. Maybe it’s part of the pheromone phenomenon.

Sexual Volts

Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ.

Obviously, most of us need high voltage to reach orgasm. Without enough sexual charge, your chances for full-body orgasm are slim.

When your sexual voltage is high, it pushes the sensations faster and further around your body. That is, as long as there’s enough energy to excite everywhere it touches.

Sexual voltage tends to dissipate unless it’s continuously reinforced. So most of the time when you’re still during sex, your excitement gradually decreases. And the faster you go, the more intense the electrical charge you build .

Confining your sexual electricity in a relatively small space, like your loins, keeps the voltage high. So your sensations are stronger. Spreading it all over tends to lower the excitement.

Now if you can generate enough sexual electricity to fill your whole body at high voltage, you’ll almost levitate with passion.

Sexual Watts

Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms.

You calculate sexual watts — the impact of your experience — by multiplying amps times volts. So the more current you’re generating at higher voltages, the more intense your passion.

Now it’s natural, as you first get turned-on, to push against the erotic current. By tensing up, a skilled sexual electrician is trying to confine the electricity to a smaller space. This increases the voltage so your sensations are more intense. That’s partly why doing pelvic muscle exercises can strengthen your pleasure and orgasms.

But when you tense up while turned-on, you reduce the current flow.

As a sexual electrician’s arousal rises and their loins erupt into a sizzling pot of sexual excitement, they relax and consciously open the valves. The electricity flows out. How turned on they get all over their body depends on how much current and how charged the voltage they’ve generated. The sexual watts — amps times volts — determines how much sensation the rest of their body feels.

Why would you want to fill your whole body with a huge volume of high-voltage sexual electricity?

Why, for full-body orgasms of course. Try it, you’ll like it.

No Doubt There’s More to Come

I hope this primer inspires you to practice managing your sexual electricity.

I’ve called it the 101 entry level course because my intuition suggests there’s lots more to learn. I’m looking forward to my coming practice sessions.

I hope you are, too.

Love, Somraj

How a Foursome Became an Orgy with our Best Friends by Letting Her Be On Top

Posted on by Somraj

If You Want the Passion to Be Real, You Can’t Pressure a Lover to Love You

At times some women get off on being taken.

I still remember fondly that cute young thing I met at a party who kept yelling at me, “Fuck me harder!” Frankly, it was a bit intimidating. But I did what I was told and we both had a great time.

Do you get off on walking on the wild side? Do you or your partner like rough sex? Undoubtedly it can be a turn-on to submit to another’s control. Maybe that’s why the slave-master fantasy is popular.

That reminds me of a famous science fiction series I read in the sixties. There were I think a couple dozen volumes in John Norman’s Chronicles of Counter-Earth. The story was set in a planet directly opposite the earth that had a medieval culture. Specifically, women were property and men were warriors. Yet, the women reveled in pleasing their men.

I think the belief that Norman was promoting so creatively was that this is only way the “weaker sex” can ever be sexually fulfilled.

Honestly, I enjoyed the books back then before I’d had any training as a Tantric lover who worships the Goddess in all women. Now I’m appalled at any stories about spousal or sexual violence.

Now I’m not advocating that abuse or rape is a good thing. Rather, I notice that it’s hot for some women at certain times to be restrained, dominated, disciplined, and punished.

Enthusiastic Consent Is Essential

There’s a right and wrong way to do this of course. In the BDSM world (bondage, domination, discipline, submission, sadism, masochism), negotiating consent is essential. So I have no problem with any practices that are discussed, planned, and agreed-upon in detail.

Negotiating consent requires mutual respect for the submissive’s power. If it turns a woman on for her partner to blindfold her, tie her up, and have his way with her, who am I to object. That is, when she clearly asks for it. Or she gave permission for him to do whatever he wants. Of course, wise players always have a safeword if it gets too intense.

Even though I’m an old guy, I guess that makes me a raving feminist. Well, so be it.

But without explicit consent, selfish exploitation amounts to taking advantage of a woman. In practice, this shows up as pressuring a partner to have sex. That might include a demand to give blow jobs, to receive anal sex, or to orgasm and even ejaculate on command.

Though we loved every episode of Fifty Shades of Grey, I winced every time Christian said “Come for me, baby.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love doing these things to a willing playmate. I love doing whatever I’m moved to do with a woman who really wants it. I love her screaming and jackknifing at my slightest touch.

Without a doubt, I really get off on a partner’s sexual pleasure, orgasm, and satisfaction.

Pressure Doesn’t Work

But pressuring a woman to perform on command just doesn’t seem to work for me. In fact, it makes me sick.

Unfortunately, pressure can block some women’s pleasure so much that it becomes abuse. Demanding she put out can block her enjoying it if she doesn’t consent.

We have to recognize that men in our modern world are conditioned to go for the gold, compete against all opponents, and push through obstacles. Yet this kind of conditioning is diametrically opposed to what most women need to blossom orgasmically.

So the question I want to address is how to get a woman to want it.

I spent a lot of years getting rejected and not getting any. And with my rampant libido, “no” was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I did my share of pressuring and demanding and pursuing without much luck. Fortunately, I didn’t take it to the extreme of stalking and the like.

Like any partnered guy, I’ve heard my share of not tonight, I’ve got a headache, and it doesn’t feel good down there. In response, I developed an approach that sometimes pays off.

My No-Pressure Desire Philosophy

I call it No-Pressure Desire. This philosophy basically says, “You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, I want you, I’m here, I’m interested — you pick the time and place.”

Here are some examples of how this works in practice. My wife loves sex more than any female I’ve ever known. And she’s damn good at it.

But she’s easily distracted. That doesn’t mean she’s shy or inhibited. It means the temperature in the room has to be right. The music and lighting have to create the perfect mood. She has to have her favorite glass of wine, and often something more. The dogs have to be OK so she doesn’t worry about them. And, I almost forgot, I have to be at least a little romantic.

I agree an erotic ambience has a strong effect on me, too. But when I’m hot to trot, hey baby, let’s trot. But I’ve learned that I need to heed my No-Pressure Desire policy. Part of that is helping to get each of us and the room ready. Starting without her total readiness never works. Otherwise the series of interruptions seriously bums me out.

The good news is that when everything is right, the passion is boundless.

Our closest girlfriend has many of the same requirements. But with her it’s as much about the mood as the time and place. She’s a dedicated planner-in-advance with a bursting schedule. Being a professional colonic therapist, extensive cleansing inside and out is essential for her comfort. Otherwise she holds her gargantuan libido back. Once she’s in the state of erotic rapture, the sky’s the limit.

Getting Janice to Play Again

I started thinking about all this recently while missing another of our closest lovers. Let’s call her Janice.

Janice has been going though some dramatic personal changes. She’s totally absorbed in building a demanding business which takes its toll on her energy. So after years of wild parties a couple times a month with no holds barred, she backed off. We still saw a lot of her and found our love and relationship growing deeper. But for many months only her husband accepted our invitations to play.

I have to admit to viscerally missing our erotic times together. When Janice and I make love, we blow the roof off. We roll around, vibrate all over, and scream bloody ardor.
But what was I to do?

Pressure her to play, offer her inducements, manipulate the circumstances, take advantage of her sweet loving nature?

Aside from the fact that coercion is not my way, it was clear from the get go that these tactics would backfire. Which brings me to my main point.

What is the nature of woman and how do we as their lovers meet them on as many levels as possible?

In Tantric terms, sexual energy — just one expression of the life force — is feminine. Modern teachers call this the power of the divine feminine. New agers typically refer to it as the Goddess in all women.

If you buy this, then you recognize that we both have to honor the river of life in our female partners. When it’s flowing freely, desire, love, passion, orgasms, and sexual ecstasy are abundant. When it’s blocked or constrained, not so much.

So to apply my No-Pressure Desire philosophy, I gave Janice space. I stayed in touch, asked how she was doing, and respected her choices. I tried to major in empathy and compassion with as little judgment as possible.

After about a year of this, I called her up and said, “I miss you. What do you need to be comfortable enough to enter our play space again?”

She said she still loved me and our hot times together, but was sorting things out and still needed more time. How about the summer still months away when work pressures would be less? Absolutely, I said. I was thrilled to hear we had a future together in spite of the vague commitment.

She Just Showed Up Suddenly

Then all of a sudden she showed up at a threesome we had scheduled with her husband. He and my wife make beautiful loud music together if you catch my drift.

Janice was hesitant at first, cautiously feeling her way. We spent some hours talking and massaging each other which got us all naked. Gradually her hands spent more and more time around my crotch with visible hard results. That’s when I decided to take a chance and asked, “What would you like?”


She didn’t say anything at first. She just pushed me onto my back and climbed on top. Oh, wow, so long in coming. But I didn’t since I was enjoying it so much that I wanted it to last.

Though she was quieter than I remembered, she got wilder and wilder as she rode me. And then started screaming in joy at pleasure peak after peak.

After a while I asked if I could get on top. She looked off into space obviously thinking. But then without a word, she pushed me down again and rode me even harder. We had a couple more rounds later after each spending time with our spouses. When we finally collapsed exhausted hours later, it left me thinking about why I was so lucky. Here’s what I came up with.

I respect the boundless strength that is deep with women. I don’t presume to know what’s best for them. Instead I inquire what they want, accept what they choose, and go with the flow wherever I can.

In modern spiritual terms, I honor however the Goddess shows up in each woman.

Or we could leave out the new-agey stuff and look at it terms of sovereignty. If you love someone, you have to accept them as they are and respect their choices.

With Janice, I had to let her walk her path and support her process. She needed the space and time to find her own truth before committing even tentatively to walking on the wild side again.

Let’s say I instead had used my wisdom and experience to shunt her into a growth path that I thought would ease her stress and encourage her sex drive. If it didn’t work, she would have resented it, creating even more distance. If it did, she might become dependent on my insight to deal with her own decisions. Either way, her innate confidence and power wouldn’t have grown.

Two Powerful Beings Letting Themselves Connect

You see, the kind of love we all embrace is when two powerful beings let themselves connect on all levels. Though I doubt it, I might have gotten Janice to do my bidding. But then we’d be playing the slave-master scenario and likely without full-hearted consent. I probably would have violated her boundaries or at least thrown her far outside her comfort zone. I would become the evil perpetuator not the loving partner.

There’s an old moral to the story from the Orient of what happens when you save someone’s life. They believe that you’re forever responsible for the life you saved. So even if I succeeded in resurrecting Janice, would she really be choosing to love me?

I knew when she chose to climb on top, have her way with me, and shout her passion to the universe, that it was totally real.

It’s all about volition. I want a lover who chooses me with her free will. There’s no way to get to that kind of relationship through pressure. If I trespassed on her boundaries, would she ever trust me again? If I assumed I knew better and usurped her power, would I really be connecting with the real Goddess inside her?

Of course, it certainly helped that my wife encouraged us to have all the fun we could. While she was doing the same thing.

Sometimes I fantasize about a playmate who’s up for spontaneous romping anytime, anywhere. Frankly, that may be a pipe dream. Before it comes true, I’m content to follow my lovers’s lead. And why not? It gets me where I want to go eventually.

Love, Somraj

Guess What I Learned About Myself When I Let My Freak Flag Fly and Played With My Butt

Posted on by Somraj

My Solo Anal Play Yielded Profound Personal Growth and Liberating Spiritual Sexual Healing

 

Playing with my butt has been one of the most revealing personal growth experiences I’ve ever had.

Am I saying that anal sex is a spiritual practice? Well, I guess I am. But that depends on how you approach it.

Recognizing that certain sex acts vault me to higher sexual orbits is what prompted this exploration where the sun don’t normally shine. (I wrote about this a couple weeks ago in my blog post entitled “Sexual Energy Orbits: How to Catapult Yourselves up to the Most Sensational Pleasure Zones.”)

Even though I know that personal freedom is an inner journey, I’ve been expanding myself through spiritual sex for nearly twenty years now. It’s taught me more about myself than all talk therapies in the world combined. So how exactly does that work?

Spiritual sex means to be aware of your body, mind, and soul while you accept your sexual desires and act on them fully.

Let’s Get Drunk And Screw

Being a somewhat evolved horny guy, I’m not against the age-old relationship axiom — “Let’s get drunk and screw.” Today that probably shows up more as “Let’s get stoned and make divine love.”

But for me erotic play is so much richer when I’m conscious of everything that’s happening. Then I can steer the action so I get everything I want while I’m attending to my partner’s needs and wants. Often I get new pleasures that I didn’t expect.

My whole life I’ve sought to rid myself of inhibitions. Maybe, like so many other teenagers, that’s an outgrowth of rebelling against my father’s authority. Whatever.

What I found in my recent solo anal play is that I’ve got hangups I didn’t know were limiting my fun.

Me squeamish? Seriously?

I can’t begin to count how many times I believed that I arrived only to find how much more there was to look at. With my unshakable self-image, I was sure I could handle unlimited pleasure. At least until I bumped up against the edge of my comfort zone and found my own limits.

So again and again I dedicated myself to practice until I released “all” resistance. Usually it wasn’t long before I had to pick myself up and realize how much more inner work awaited me.

The Sensible Hygiene Of Anal Play

A case in point is the hygiene of anal play. As my sex life has been expanding in recent years, I’ve welcomed any gentle-at-first penetration back there from lovers I trust. Lovers who are as fun and fastidious as I am.

Damn, I’ve had so much pleasure when they put things in my butt: fingers, toys, and vajras (penises).

But I discovered that I’m reluctant to put my own fingers in my butt.

Really?

Any young woman whose mother taught her not to wipe forward realizes we all want to keep the bacteria from the rosetta (asshole) away from the yoni (vagina). Or either gender’s mouth for that matter.

Such programming was a critical part of my Tantric sexual healing that opened up my backdoor initially. Tight-assed is more than a social slur, it’s a diagnosis of the energy blockages that inhibited lovers and people in general have.

When the issues are in the tissues, especially around the rosetta, they restrict one’s sexual freedom and lots more.

You see, I love to play full out without inhibitions. That’s partly a result of my robust libido. But even more so it stems from the personal growth I’ve done around becoming more sex-positive.

Damn Those Restrictive Inner Rules

So, as I was saying, what I found was that I had all sorts of inner rules about where I could put my hands when playing with myself. When I lube up a sex toy and slide it in my butt, undoubtedly that hand gets contaminated with the kind of germs we don’t want to spread.

My Tantric training, or call it conscious sexuality, included always being alert to what one touches with those dirty digits. That’s wise to avoid later unwanted infections. But when I got an urge to, for example, add my second hand to massage my cockhead, I heard a loud “No!” from my inner critic.

Since I can’t put my vajra in my mouth in my most limber moments, there was no chance of making myself sick. And since this was solo play, there was no chance of infecting my beloved’s yoni. And yet I was unwilling to follow my whims and play with whatever part of my body wanted attention.

That’s where spiritual sex came to the rescue. It’s all about witnessing what’s going on in my body, mind, and soul while I’m reveling in pleasure. Not only was I conscious of what I wanted to do to myself, I was also conscious of what was holding me back.

So I lubed up my second hand and slowly slid it in and out of my rosetta. Wow, was it great! It supercharged the pleasure that my other hand was creating by stroking my vajra.

It felt so good that after a while I got the urge to grab vajra’s head with my dirty hand. Sure enough the injunction was still there. I looked at and decided there was no harm as long as I washed up afterwards.

As a result, for a few minutes I had the most ecstatic two-handed masturbation you can imagine.

Letting My Freak Flag Fly

What I was discovering was that my self-pleasuring habits followed well-worn grooves. These were uninspected patterns that limited what I would let myself enjoy.

I thought I was a devoted disciple of the spirit of David Crosby’s song “Almost Cut My Hair” which advocated letting my freak flag fly.

One of the things all my Tantric sex ebooks advocate is whimsy. That’s recognizing when you’ve got a whim and acting on it. Like you want to switch from the top to the bottom or the reverse while making love. Or pull out and lick the juices from your coupling or swivel around to enjoy some luscious 69. Or play with yourself while you’re going at it.

Honor your whims instantly is the secret to fully letting yourself go. Sexual energy is a continuous river of potential pleasure. Let yourself go with the flow and passion engulfs you.

My inner blockages to my own whims created mental grooves that restricted my sexual freedom. When a whim surfaced, I would ignore it without even considering it. My old worn-out beliefs were blindly blocking my consciousness at decision points.

That’s exactly what happened when I got the urge to use both hands to stroke my cock but one had just been in my rosetta.

When a lover is passionately steaming down the road towards a Big O, they rarely notice what happens at these pleasure crossroads.

Like when the vibrator that I was sitting on which felt great a moment ago stopped generating pleasure. This was a crossroads. The thought occurred to me to lube it up and shove it inside my butt. I was sure I had loosened up enough so that I could take it and love it even more.

But instead of going for it, instead of following my bliss in the moment, my puritan programming blocked it.

We all seek balance in life. I thought I was operating with a good balance between pleasure and cleanliness. But I realized I was a victim of my own overly hygienic fastidiousness.

Now I’m not into deep psychoanalysis that drives me to figure out why I was inhibited. Just witnessing what I’m doing gives me the choice to change. So seeing how I was limiting my options for pleasure allowed me to change my habits.

Different Than a Sudden Flash of Clarity

This didn’t happen like a sudden flash of clarity. It evolved in stages. First, I let my fingers have their way with my rosetta. But at first I was still uncomfortable using that hand for anything else. So I decided it would be OK to play with my balls while my other hand was busy sliding up and down my shaft.

Next I realized there was really no harm in using the contaminated hand on my vajra as well. It wasn’t going anywhere dangerous. So I had fun for a while enjoying some two-handed self-pleasure.

Then I needed more lube. And I shocked myself with the thought that both hands were now dirty and would contaminate the lube bottle. But so what? This was my private stash that stayed by my computer while I was enjoying my carefully curated porn collection.

So I threw caution to the winds and declared my lube “on-limits,” too. That’s the opposite of off-limits if you missed the reference.

These were just a few of the layers peeling off the onion that I went through. It’s still continuing each time I play with myself. But now I’m extra excited when I bump into another internal barrier. I can look at it sensibly and decide if I’m being held back by outmoded restrictions or if there’s no danger in letting my freak flag fly.

In retrospect my story is an isolated example of the kind of sexual healing we all need over and over. Hopefully I’ve inspired you to look at what’s holding you back from what your body, mind, and spirit want. And then go for it.

Enjoy! And I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

Love, Somraj