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Your Tantra Newsletter: Would You Ever Do It With Your Teacher Or In Public? A Lot Of Kids Do! More Ways To Look At How Sex Positive You Really Are
"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 11/1/08
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2008 by TantraAtTahoe.com
This free ezine offers practical sex tips derived from modern
sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama
Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen
relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual
ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
If you don't want our newsletter, scroll to the end to stop them.
We hope you enjoyed a juicy Halloween party. At celebrations of out-of-the-norm behavior, Tantrikas really shine. Our recent study and release of our first Kama Sutra Sex Positions Ebook certainly makes it clear how repressive our society is about so many things, except at pagan holidays.
In this article we're continuing our series of articles about what some would call outrageous sexual practices. If you missed the earlier parts, go to our extensive newsletter archives here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm and begin with the series of four articles that start on August 19.
This issue contains...
* Tantric Quote: "Chastity"
* Juicy Joke: "Senior's Halloween"
* Featured Ebook: "Hotter Sex Deeper Love"
* Featured Article: "Would You Ever Do It With Your Teacher Or In Public? Kids Do!"
* Tantric Quote: "Sex Is Like Basketball"
* Juicy Joke: "Halloween Costume"
* How To Save Over $45 On Our Ebooks
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Love from Tantra At Tahoe who is...
Somraj & Jeffre
P.S. You can easily find our growing assortment of free Guided
Tours about Tantra, Kama Sutra, & Better Sex here...
Tantric Quote: "Chastity"
"Chastity the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions." -- Aldous Huxley
Juicy Joke: "Senior's Halloween"
A couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a
long time decided to dress up and go out.
The woman went into her bedroom, stripped
naked and tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the man cried, "You can't go
out like that!"
She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you!"
Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came
out stark raving naked with a potato tied to his
The woman says, you're going out like that?"
And he replies, "Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss,
I can go as a dick-tator!"
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Featured Article: "Would You Ever Do It With Your Teacher Or In Public? Kids Do!"
More Ways To Look At How Sex Positive You Really Are
In our last edition that dealt with the sex-positive spectrum in society, I was exploring both sacred and kinkier ways to open your relationship, frankly meaning having sex with more than your committed partner. Well, young people do it all the time except we used to call it dating without going steady. We got into this by looking at different sides of the issue of how sexual you need to be with your teacher to learn Supreme Bliss Tantra.
If you missed the message, the answer is no, not at all, you don't have to have sex with your teachers if that's what you prefer. Most have strict boundaries like other professionals, but some follow other standards. But our odyssey into sex and society continues looking into how public schools, businesses, and religion regulate (or repress) sexual behavior.
In An Evolved Society Where Does Sexual Harassment Begin?
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You know, teacher-student sex happens all the time in public schools with vociferous condemnation, largely directed at the teacher, even if it's a college professor who's more or less philandering with almost adults. But isn’t this knee-jerk censure partly reflective of our socially-accepted attitude that one is taking advantage of the other? What if they’re both consenting adults and there is no pressure for the student to perform for their grade?
And at what age do young people become consenting adults? Is the legal requirement of being 18 in most states realistic for kids who can’t wait to experiment earlier? If we don’t openly and thoroughly educate our children about the sanctity, joys, and practices of a healthy sexual relationship, will they ever become mature consenting adults?
Of course, modern businesses put a huge amount of effort into preventing sexual harassment in the workplace. Certainly, managers who require sexual favors of their underlings (now isn’t that a suggestively loaded word?) don’t have the healthiest attitude toward sacred sexual relationships and should be dealt with accordingly. But can we regulate all sexual energy out of the workplace? And should we? Though I’m against anyone using sex to apply any kind of pressure whether in bed or not, it still seems a shame that working women have been neutered by this crackdown.
When I was a management consultant in the 1970s, I taught a class in people-skills to a sales group from the country’s largest bank. The two leading sales reps were very experienced and highly professional males. Agent #3 was a younger woman with a great body that she shamelessly flaunted. Mini-skirts, deep cleavage, and tight-fitting clothes were her standard costume. She exuded sex appeal. When the conversation drifted into this arena, she proudly explained that she needed an edge in the old-boy’s club she was trying to crack. And why not use a little teasing if it’s good for the client and good for my commissions, she defended. There wasn't any evidence that she was sleeping with her clients to get sales. Her management and coworkers condoned her tactics, but do you?
Is Religion Helping Or Hurting?
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In the modern world, is it right for anyone in authority have sex with someone under their control? Can they do it without undue pressure? Why does it happen so often? Teachers, managers, sales reps, politicians, ultraconservatives, religious figures especially the sex-denouncing kind -- you name it. It seems that nearly everybody isn’t getting enough and the unreleased reservoirs of sexual energy are leaking out in undesirable ways. Passive-aggressive behavior is a common pattern of sex-negative conditioning. If you try to suppress a natural flow of life, it keeps percolated underground until it blows.
To us Tantrikas, the uneducated cultural norms about sex raise the more serious questions about why so many act so immaturely around sex.
An even more serious issue that we should be thinking about is adults taking advantage of youngsters. One can’t enter into this arena without considering the plight of priests who are having trouble channeling all their sexual energy into love of God. Or more specifically, those who turn their attention to little boys who are abused and traumatized. Fortunately, we’re sure this is the great minority of dedicated men of the cloth. Though we might have some compassion for their situation, we can hardly endorse it since it's such a dramatic and often damaging example of sex-negative behavior.
Does the puritan view of sex on the far right of our scale by so many religions really serve people? A high percentage of our Tantric Coaching and Private Tantra Workshop clients are trying to recapture a robust sex life in their marriage. Many were raised in strict households where sexual innuendos, teenage petting, and masturbation were severely punished as sinful.
Do you agree with us that leading a healthy adult sex life too often takes unlearning the taboos and negative programming from religions?
What About Youngsters? Somebody's Got To Draw The Line
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So let’s confront directly one area that really pushes people’s buttons, namely sex and kids. I don’t mean having sex with kids, that’s not recommended in Supreme Bliss Tantra. I’m referring to parents talking openly with their kids about this natural part of life, answering questions frankly and honestly, and explaining clearly without shame, guilt, or embarrassment. What message does it send if you're shy, nervous, or evasive with your kids? Yes, they really do know. Kids are often better at reading body language than adults.
Don’t you think that one of the hallmarks of good child-rearing is to show them by both talk and action that sex is healthy, worthwhile, and honorable -- when it’s conscious, consensual, and safe?
What we do in front of our kids is a more powerful teaching than what we say. Do you hug, kiss, and flirt in front of your kids? Are you comfortable being naked in your home? Do you go off to make love sometimes and actually telling your kids what you’re going to do in a meaningful way for their ages? Or do you hide the fact that you are a sexual being? If your mindset and energy are sex-negative, your kids are gonna get that message louder and clearer than any other.
Carrying this train of thought further, I suppose there are some new age types out there who believe that actually having sex in front of your children would be the best demonstration of your open attitude. How’s that for a fantasy that reactivates deep-seated resistance and pushes buttons? Though we understand the premise and might endorse it in another cultural setting, it's not something we urge you to adopt. But think back in history to when indigenous extended families all lived together in one cave or den or hut. Within hearing if not sight of everyone else was about the only chance lovers had for night-time or winter sex. Did this permanently scar the youngsters or did it instead teach them one way that adults have fun and show their love for each other?
As much as we want you to teach your children well, as David Crosby is so famous for singing, we can’t in good conscience recommend doing it in front of your little ones or teenagers. Can you even imagine yourselves making love in front of close adult friends like we've done? In our sexually backward modern society, even our sex-positive attitudes draw the line here. Not only would it give your kids images contrary to what everyone around expects, but it would likely get you in trouble with the law.
Are You In Favor Of Nudity In Public?
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Reading science fiction and watching Star Trek does encourage us to dream about someday living in a more evolved culture. Early in a story in a recent novel set in 2153, the main character was having a quiet lunch in the park before being shipped off to a star that was ten light-years away. As he was watching several pairs of young lovers doing it on blankets in the open, he mused about what his girlfriend would be doing while he was off protecting the galaxy. What struck me was his positive yet matter-of-fact acceptance of such public displays of affection. What do you think about a society in which public sex is normal behavior?
If you believe as we do that sex is a natural part of life, then it shouldn’t be totally hidden, sensationalized, and policed. Don’t you see that our strict code of modesty and privacy perpetuates the sex-negative culture? Naturists feel differently, at least about revealing their naked bodies and sexual organs. Naturist is the pop name for nudists who believe that it’s natural to be naked around your family, friends, and like minded strangers.
It’s a stretch for many people to remain unclothed just at home. Have you ever gone to a nudist colony or nude beach or hot springs? How would you feel being fully “natural” in public at a camp or club or private party? Like most guys, I was afraid my first time of being mortified with an erection. Never happened. In contrast, in Tantric gatherings where sexuality is revered as a divine gift, hard vajras are celebrated with oohs and ahs and compliments.
I understand things are somewhat different in Europe where going topless is much more common, especially at beaches. In fact, there’s a resort town of thousands in southern France named Cap d'Agde which is completely nude, everywhere. Imagine shopping for vegetables, eating at a sidewalk cafe, or doing business at the bank your bottom completely bare. And your top and middle, too.
Does Revealing Your Pubes In Public Mean You Want To Put Out?
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When you live in a world where we all have to suppress our sexual energy, many expect taking your clothes off in front of others means you want to fuck. But, no, it doesn’t mean that. It’s only the built-up unreleased reservoir of sexual life-force talking. That’s why the naturist groups that we’ve frequented all have strict codes of no sex in public.
You might say restricting public frolicking in such places is sex-negative to a degree, and we’d probably have to agree. But maybe as we transition to higher consciousness, legislating what should be mature discretion about restricting sex to private places even where showing off your jewels is accepted isn’t such a repressive practice.
As part of our effort to make Spiritual Sex more open and public, we've started a program of Sensual Dinner Parties here in Lake Tahoe, California where you can explore more open sexuality. Doing it in front of others, swapping, swinging, or the more evolved practice of polyamory (having multiple open love relationships) are by no means required or advocated in Supreme Bliss Tantra. But neither do we judge or denounce those who want to experiment. If you're interested, check out our secret Tahoe Players page here http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tahoe-players . And if you're far away and want to start your own group, let us know and we'll help all we can.
Well, I hope I've pushed more of your buttons here, enough so you'll consider alternatives to the cultural programming you're a product of. Look for our next issue to wrap up this whole dialogue about sex and society in usual dramatic fashion.
Your Supreme Bliss Tantra Mentor
Tantric Quote: "Sex Is Like Basketball"
"I like my sex the way I play basketball, one
on one with as little dribbling as possible."
-- Leslie Nielsen
(ED: Glad to hear it, Leslie. When I dated your sister years ago, she seemed to agree.)
Juicy Joke: "Halloween Costume"
A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, "I'm
going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam."
The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big
enough." She brings out a bigger one.
He says, "Still not big enough." She brings out
a huge fig leaf.
He says, "Still not big enough."
She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw
it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
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The information contained in this document represents the
current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the
date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that
your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a
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