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Society gives women conflicting sexual messages that block our full appreciation of the splendors of sacred sexuality. For the path out of this morass, read this issue's feature article.
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"S A C R E D S E X U A L S E C R E T S" Newsletter 10/10/02
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Published by Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees & Dhyan Somraj Pokras
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2002 by Tantra At Tahoe
<http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com>
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This is a free ezine distributed twice a month offering practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. Tantra At Tahoe is dedicated to helping you deepen your relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
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This newsletter is by SUBSCRIPTION ONLY! If you've received it by mistake, see unsubscribe instructions at the end.
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V I N T A G E B L E N D O F T H E S E X E S
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Dear Subscriber:
You know it takes two to Tango. Yes, that's Tantric for wild passionate sex. (Just kidding.)
We celebrate anything that brings pleasure in life, from a beautiful sunset, to a purring cat, to a screaming orgasm. It just seems some of the best comes from merging male and female energies. What we refer to as Shiva and Shakti in Tantra, borrowing the Hindu God and Goddess who epitomize their genders.
That's why we modestly acknowledge this issue's feature article to be one of the best ever. It started because Somraj was ranting and raving about how great a lover Jeffre is. She has great pleasure, gives great pleasure, and so often seems to know the right thing to do to lengthen and heighten our pleasure.
But even though Somraj offered her an elaborate outline for the article, he insisted she had to write it by saying... "No matter how much I might imagine I understand what goes on inside a woman during sex, you're actually there. So only you can testify to your greatness, beloved."
She wasn't happy to be dragged away from working on a juicy chapter of our upcoming "G-Spot and Female Ejaculation" ebook. But somehow she rose to the occasion, maybe with the help of his honest compliment.
See, the merger of male and female energies in action. Enjoy.
Love from Tantra At Tahoe who is...
Dhyan Jeffre & Dhyan Somraj
P.S. If you have close friends with whom you talk about sex, please forward this newsletter to them. Everyone can benefit from Tantric ecstasy and spiritual growth.
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T A N T R I C Q U O T E O F T H E M O N T H
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“Sex is life, and wherever you see life you will find sex somewhere, in some way. The day sex disappears you will start dying, because it is sex energy that keeps you alive. Drop the foolish ideas that you have been taught. This has been done to many people in different ways. A thousand and one inhibitions and taboos have been created...move deep into sex and transform its energy into love, and move deep into love and transform its energy into prayer...”
----- OSHO from “The Book Of Wisdom”
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J U I C Y J O K E
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"Their Honeymoon"
On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very
naive blond virgin bride slipped into a sexy but
sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled
into bed, only to find that her new Christian
husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not
going to make love to her, he replied, "Because
it's Lent."
Almost in tears, she remarked,
"Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!
"I demand to know who you lent it to,
`"-----'"` and for how long!"
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F E A T U R E D A R T I C L E
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WOMAN LOVE THYSELF,
CELEBRATE YOUR SEXUALITY,
YOU ARE THE GODDESS
The Woman's Role In The Splendors Of Tantric Sex
IT'S CONFUSING BEING A WOMAN
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Being a woman in this society is damn confusing. (Also true for men, but we are talking about women this go around.) You get conflicting messages about your body from the day you are born.
Imagine, diapers for babies just out of the womb. Constricting, confining and most damaging, covering up. Genitals and bodily excretions are "bad" from the very beginning.
Then you learn to talk and understand. The messages are convoluted: "Sex is dirty, save it for the one you love. Be sexually liberated, but good girls don't indulge. Be a good mate, enjoy sex, but not too much, because only sluts really really like sex. Own all of who you are, love yourself, but rise above your sexual desires. Be sexy like Brittany Spears or Madonna, but don't have sex before marriage, or just say "NO."
No wonder we're all schizophrenic about sex.
KNOW WHO YOU ARE
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Knowing who you are and what you want is the first and most essential step in clarifying what your sexuality is all about. This isn't about anyone else, just you. You have to decide what feels good, and what doesn't.
Tantra believes that all of who you are is divine. Your hair, your body, your mind, your smile, your soul, your heart, everything about you is sacred and beautiful. Getting clarification about these issues will allow you to relax, let go and surrender to the orgasmic energy within your body and in the cosmos.
You can get more and more clear with or without a partner. Each time you are with a partner you can learn more about yourself and your sexuality. Each time you self pleasure, you can know more about what pleases you, more about your body, more about your pleasure, more about your boundaries and more about how you take care of your self sexually and emotionally. Use every opportunity to learn more about yourself.
You're worth it. Your sexuality is worth it.
YOU ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR TURN-ON
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One of the issues that comes up frequently in working with clients is the old "who is responsible for what?" Although it has become a cliché to say that "You are responsible for you and for your sexual turn-on", a lot of women don't know what that means in a practical sense. We have been taught that men take the initiative and we often expect them to know much more about sex than we do.
This is one of those beliefs that is constricting as well as untrue. It puts enormous pressure on the guy to be unreal. The truth is, he often doesn't know anymore than you and sometimes, less. He's had much more permission to experiment with his sexuality, and may be more comfortable expanding his repertoire, i.e. trying new things.
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE
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You, my dear woman, are a deliciously complicated sexual being. This means you have different needs and desires at different times. Although this can be tantalizingly wonderful, it can be very confusing to the poor man, or female partner, who is trying to understand you and only wants to please you. This is another reason you need to know what YOU want, so you can be prepared to communicate those desires to your partner.
What you desire may change with your cycle, your mood, the weather, and how aroused you are. You have specific erogenous zones and trigger spots. You are in the best position to learn these and then communicate them to your partner at the appropriate time. Regardless of your current status, with one partner for a long time or with a new one, stretch yourself to be more open verbally with your partner about sex. It's kinda scary but it has such a huge payoff, and it is titillating too.
DEMONSTRATE HOW YOU LIKE TO BE LOVED
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A really fun thing to do is to demonstrate on yourself, with movement and descriptive words as well, exactly how you like to be loved? Begin with how you like to be touched, and where? How much kissing and what kind of kissing do you like. How does your yoni (Tantric for vulva) like to be approached? What do you like to experience with oral, manual or penile sex? This can really turn you both on.
To say "I'm interested in you" suggests to him that he reciprocate by demonstrating how he likes to be loved. Trust me, you will learn something about stroking his vajra (Tantric for penis) by carefully watching how it does it to himself. And you will both get even more turned on. Ask questions if you aren't clear about something.
MEN LOVE TO KNOW HOW THEY'RE DOING
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Men love to get respectful, caring feedback from their women. It gives them confidence that they are going in the correct direction and that you are having a good time, that you are truly involved. Making love to someone who is quiet, moves little, never moans or screams is not only a bit boring, but is enigmatic to the giver. He is in no man's land trying to figure out if what he is doing has any result at all. Remember to compliment this wonderful man who is trying so hard (pun intended).
Many men are very sensitive to be criticized. Be sure you discuss with him before hand about your desire to be more communicative and give him feedback about what pleasures you. If you are careful to include compliments, acknowledgments in the form of "oh, yes, that's right, oh, perfect, oh, keep doing that," he will be much more open to accepting the occasional "little to the left, oh, harder please, softer would feel good right now."
You get the picture. Avoid sudden shifts or angry outbursts. Chances are he is doing his best. Remember, positive reinforcement works.
ECSTATIC DELIGHTS AWAIT YOU IF YOU DROP YOUR AGENDA
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In Tantra, we are much more interested in pleasure and ecstasy than in orgasms, but we love orgasms too. As you become more and more open to your own pleasure, you will feel less and less the need to push for orgasm. The less you and your partner feel the pressure to "cum," the more sexual delights there are to experience, because he will last longer and you will have more time to get everything you want.
Tantra is the Sanskrit word for to weave. We like to think of making love as a weaving of male and female energies, a dance of movement, breath, sound and presence. Tantra celebrates the earthy, sexual you.
Let go, relax, breathe, love and honor your body and your partner. There is so much pleasure to be had. It is there all the time. All you have to do is make the time, communicate, relax, touch, and the divine does all the rest. There is no place to go, no sensation to have, just be.
NEXT ISSUE
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Next time, we will talk further about weaving the female and male energies in divine harmony for long lasting lovemaking.
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Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees, Ph.D. is a licensed SkyDancing Tantra Teacher with over 30 years of clinical experience in relationships and human sexuality. Jeffre is co-author of "Hotter Sex, Deeper Love."
Dhyan Somraj is the author of countless articles about Tantra, over 50 workshops, and 4 books including Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery. During his 30 year career as a counselor, group facilitator, and trainer, Somraj has guided more that 20,000 people to lead more ecstatic effective lives.
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I N T E R E S T I N G P U B I C F I N D I N G S
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"Estimates Of Female Passion"
Historically women have been seen as sexually rampant, as vamp and temptress or as sexually dead (the proper state for "moral" wives). One index of sexual awareness and interest is the degree of masturbation in an individual (though of course masturbation may be infrequent or non-existent in highly sexed individuals when an adequacy of other outlets exists).
Masturbation is said to be so widespread among both married and unmarried Muslim females throughout Africa and the East that "it is commonly regarded by the men folk as customary and matter-of-fact" (A. Edwards & R. E. L. Masters, "The Cradle of Erotica"). "Rubbing" or "pounding" is considered a natural manifestation of feminine nature - for "women's passion is ten times greater than man's."
In this spirit it has been suggested that since it takes ten men to satisfy one women, it is only normal that a woman faithful to one man should masturbate from time to time to satisfy sexual needs. (French troops marching off to war were said to provide their wives with dildos to reduce the chances of adultery in their absence.)
----- From The Illustrated Book of Sexual Records.
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W I N B Y B Y T A K I N G O U R S E X P O L L
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Congratulations to Ron Pullen who won our September CONTEST and received a free copy of Somraj's popular ebook, "Ultimate Ejaculation Mastery." We wish you lots more long-lasting Tantric Orgasms, Ron. Thanks for contributing.
You could be next month's winner. For your monthly chance to win a free Tantric ebook or email course, be sure to enter our monthly contest by taking our 1 minute Tantric Sex Poll by clicking here...
<http://www.tantraattahoe.com/poll.htm>.
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J U I C Y J O K E
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"The Three Old Men & Their Screamers"
Three old men are discussing their sex lives. The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end."
The Frenchman boasts, "That's nothing! Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. then we made passionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes."
The old Jewish guy says, "Well, last week my wife and I had sex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken schmaltz (kosher chicken fat), we made love, and she screamed for 6 hours.
The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They replied, "What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for 6 hours?"
"I wiped my hands on the drapes."
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S P E C I A L R E P O R T
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S U M M A R Y S T U F F
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CONTACT US...
Dhyan Jeffre & Dhyan Somraj Pokras
(Dhyan is a prefix meaning "meditation.")
11200 Donner Pass Road # 146, Truckee, CA 96161
Office (530) 587-1317
<http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com>
Our motto: "Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex"
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THIS DOCUMENT IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY...
The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided "AS IS" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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