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Your Tantra Newsletter: The Secret To Having The Big O - Part 6
Cosmic Orgasm Is An Inside Job
This article is number six in our series about learning to enjoy the most incredible multiple full-body orgasms imaginable. In our last edition, we left you with the homework of getting really good at Self-Pleasuring and then doing it in front of your partner. Nowhere is “practice makes perfect” more vital than in bed.
"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 9/30/12
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2012 by TantraAtTahoe.com
Comments, questions, feedback: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
Sexual Show-And-Tell is a real turn-on for some, but everyone can benefit by teaching their lover what their body prefers. And it’s a very effective way of learning to follow each other. If you do Show-And-Tell several times as an exercise, you’ll find it easier to gently guide your beloved towards what you want in each moment.
But it’s more than just learning your own pleasure buttons and teaching your lover how to “do” you. Making love to yourself frequently is a powerful way to reprogram yourself to welcome sexual ecstasy the way Mother Nature intended -- as a natural sacrament to celebrate life and love.
We all have our sexual triggers and turn-offs, and though some of these things frequently, what propels a fully-alive lover to ecstatic heights changes often. So you have to be alert and sensitive, conscious and flexible, relaxed and responsive to synchronize your love play.
Going For It
To put the advice in this article in context, let us first outline how we approach orgasm during lovemaking.
First, we play around until our bodies get more sensitized. You could just call that increasing desire. We start with exchanging sweet everythings, kissing, touching, massaging, scratching, that kind of non-jewel (non-genital) play. When our jewels start asking for direct attention, we spend some time on erotic massage and oral sex.
Often that’s all we need to reach ecstatic heights, but if we want more, then we move on to “maithuna.” That’s the Tantric name for jewel union. You might call it intercourse or screwing or other four-letter words depending on what turns you on. Words do that many. Are you one of them?
We really have no fixed agenda. We just follow what gets us turned-on in the moment. Since quickies aren’t usually our thing, we might cycle back to any of these moves, as the spirit moves us. Variety is the spice of our sex life, so each lovemaking session looks very different from the others.
We’re both absorbing the sexual energy we’re creating together and filling our Pleasure Balloons. Rarely are we on a dedicated collision course with orgasm. We don’t push it so we can concentrate on enjoying the ride. We just see how much fun we can have. Sometimes, when what we’re doing isn’t feeling top notch to one of us, we mention it and shift. Other times, what we’re doing catapults one of us to higher and higher turn-on. Since we’re so connected energetically, what excites one of us turns on the other.
High Peaks Of Pleasure
Following our whims sends us to high peaks of pleasure. Often, we’ll surrender to the good feelings and relax into the pleasure by stopping for a moment before repeating what just felt so good. The more we generate sexual energy and fill our Pleasure Balloons, the higher we get and stronger the ultimate explosions. At times, a series of pleasure peaks launches us into the the stratosphere which is like a plateau of ecstasy which continues of its own accord for some time.
Both of us describe these peaks and plateaus as Tantric Orgasm which includes pelvic contractions, rushes of sensation, loud moans, a feeling of floating away, deep breathing, undulating body movements, and expanding personal space. Instead of pushing for orgasm, we enjoy the journey of filling our Pleasure Balloons and recirculating these surges inside. That’s why they’re called Implosive Orgasms. The good news is that we can have them over and over for an hour or more. And as long as we recycle the energy inside, subsequent peaks become increasingly exciting and last longer and longer.
But as good as they are, we wouldn’t call these implosive energy orgasms the Big O. The strongest climaxes are Explosive Orgasms which rock our very physical, mental, and spiritual foundations. But because the energy explodes, they often leave us depleted and ready for sleep, not more play. So we extend Tantric LovePlay as long as we can so our peaks and plateaus ascend higher and higher. Then when we let nature take its course and just things happen, the big ones overtake us with so much more power.
That’s a detailed description of what we might simply call just going with the flow and letting the Big O come to us when we’re ready for it.
Navigating By Asking For What You Want
How does all of this apply to the woman who has trouble reaching orgasm? As we’ve explained before, her prerequisites are...
believing that maximum sexual pleasure is a good thing and that she deserves it,
knowing what makes her body respond at different times and in different situations, and
being willing and able to guide her lover.
If she’s not proud of her body and her sexual power, she won’t guide the process to higher and higher turn-on. If she doesn’t know what feels good, she won’t know where she’s heading. If she’s passive, unassertive, and unwilling to ask for what she wants, she won’t be able to guide her lover to help her build her energy higher and higher until it reaches those lofty crescendos she dreams about.
The orgasmic woman is relaxed enough to hear what her body and jewels are asking for in each moment. She’s confident enough to gently guide her partner to do it the way she wants it right now. “Gently” means constructive and supportive not critical or hostile put-downs. It’s better to get used to always using the Response Sandwich to ask for changes in what she’s receiving.
The Response Sandwich is...
an acknowledgement,followed by
a suggestion, followed by
For example, “That’s sweet, but it might even be better a little slower. Yes, yes, yes!” Or maybe “I like that, but let’s try bigger circles. Oh yeah, that’s way awesome.”
Here are some of the things orgasmic women have asked for while navigating towards maximum pleasure.
“Early on, slow and gentle please.”
“Don’t touch clio until I’m ready since she can be so sensitive sometimes it hurts.”
“I like lots of variety at first until I get on a roll.”
“Ooooh, that’s great. No, don’t speed up, it’s too intense.”
“I love that but it would be even better with more lube.”
“When I peak, let’s stay still for a moment and absorb the delicious energy.”
“When I get close, don’t change anything.”
Giving Is Easier When You Can Focus On It
Of course, you realize the whole idea that of the woman leading flies in the face of the myth that her man always knows the right thing to do in each moment. Well, maybe a slim few do, but they only got there by being guided by a sexual goddess as we’ve described. And what the lucky man learns is how to watch and listen and follow what she’s responding to. That’s because she’s the only who knows what’s she’s feeling and needing in each changing moment. Only she can steer the ebbs and flows of her own pleasure. Only she can navigate her ascent to orgasm.
If you’re objecting that sex is instinctive and shouldn’t require so much control, you’re right. Animal sex is instinctive. And we’d urge you to totally go for it at those times when you’re both swept away by lust. But even a series of climactic quickies won’t get you as high as long, slow, ascending, ecstatic Tantric Sex.
Yes, the Tantric style of lovemaking isn’t easy or automatic. It takes practice for it to become second nature so that you both can sink back into the streams of energy they create and exchange. Which is why it’s often best for lovers learning Tantric Sex to begin with one receiving and one giving. Then the receiver can concentrate on guiding towards higher peaks and away from less-pleasurable moves.
It should be obvious that this is more difficult during maithuna, Tantric intercourse. The male needs to steer his own course between enough pacing to avoid premature ejaculation and enough stimulation to stay erect. When he’s receiving, he can guide his partner on the middle road between these two extremes so he can soar to higher and higher peaks. This typically means his partner uses hands, mouth, and toys to pleasure him towards Tantric Orgasms. But when vajra is inside yoni, there’s so much more going on that it’s challenging for him to give her everything she wants in each moment. And often challenging for him to manage his own pleasure while focusing on hers.
For the woman who seeks to expand her orgasmic response, the same applies. She can steer her lover better when she’s receiving fingers, tongue, and toys. Not only are these tools more controllable than an erection stroking inside her, but her partner can guide and respond more exactly to what she needs where in each moment.
The Tantric Tango
When both partners become skilled at giving and receiving separately, then it becomes much easier to couple. We call this Tantric Tango love play because it’s like a game with two players both contributing. There’s lots of exploring, experimenting, and switching around. Each is open to intuition and follow their whimsy. Both lovers are responsible for their own pleasure while at the same time they’re responding to what’s making their partner fly.
Together they navigate the sometimes stormy sometimes blissful seas of passion. As teammates working together, they bootstrap each other’s highs. They tune into their own turn-on and ask for more of what’s exciting them. They sense what each other is responding to and give more of it. With this kind of openness, sensitivity, consciousness, and communication, lovemaking partners synchronize their ascent to unheard-of orgasmic heights.
Well that’s all for now. Until next time, enjoy solo fun and the Tantric Tango. And we’d love to hear from you about what’s working and what more you’d like us to address. Write us here...
Love, Somraj and Jeffre
Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161
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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA
Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.
Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to...
- deepen love and intimacy,
- extend lovemaking, and
- create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.
By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra...
- heals your mind, body, and spirit,
- connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
- immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided "AS IS" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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