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Your Tantra Newsletter: Satisfaction: Where Does It Come From And How You Can Keep It?
The Sexual Energy Dynamics In A Long And Short Term Relationships

We just finished watching the first season of a new cable series called “Satisfaction.” Interesting, well-done, and thought-provoking. Since it encompasses escorts, affairs, teenage love, and sexuality in long- and short-term relationships, we thought there would be more action. The stars, Neil and Grace who are a twenty year married couple, are certainly exploring what turns them on in life as well as in love. At least it got us thinking about where satisfaction comes from.

What kind of love makes you satisfied? Is it love for your beloved that bubbles out of your heart? Is it the latest hunk or honey you’re lusting after? Is it something sneaky or kinky or just plain new? Is it lots of little orgasms or one big cosmic one?

Or do you find that what you used to float your boat is sinking more than soaring?

"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 9/29/14
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2014 by
Comments, questions, feedback:

This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

A recent article about the latest marriage statistics — which showed we’re at an all time low for those of us in committed long-term relationships — suggested that more people are happier being single and playing the field. And that marriages are changing into being more open and less monogamous.

Of course, what’s right for the majority may not be what’s right for you right now. Which might change tomorrow.

All of this was in our face for the week around Labor Day at the BurningMan festival near us in Northern Nevada. If you haven’t heard, because one of its core principles is radical self-expression, it creates a free and open culture. In addition to the innovative art and spontaneous cooperation, there’s lots of nudity and opportunities for a whole range of sexual activities.

For the first time, we went by ourselves with the aim of maximizing our satisfaction. Turns out we interacted little with others and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Since the afternoons in the Black Rock Desert were way too hot for us, we spent hours every day in our air-conditioned RV having intensely energetic Tantric Sex. Way satisfying. And it powered our early-morning and after-dark touring of the fantastic sights and sounds on the playa.

But with all the scantily clad shapely young bodies, it got me thinking about how satisfying it would be to make love with someone new. Now if you haven’t learned this before, Supreme Bliss Tantra doesn’t advocate or require multiple sex partners. At its core though, is the practice of recognizing what you want and don’t want and going after it if you choose. It’s about choice distinct from what others (read society, religions, culture, family) think is right. So naturally those who explore Tantra aren’t as inhibited as the average guy, gal, or couple. After much exploration and experimentation we’ve found what works for us as individuals and a couple resulting in a highly-selective open relationship.

So I could have played around and in fact went out looking one night. I’ve accepted that I’m a red-blooded guy with perennial horny DNA (thank the Goddess) who is biologically predisposed to get off with fresh meat. But I chose not to. Contemplating getting it on with someone new left me feeling flat. Anonymous sex at a swingers orgy isn’t what satisfies me any more.

What would it take for me — a conscious, trained, Tantric lover — to have some satisfying fun with someone new? Assuming we were both willing and had good chemistry, it would have to start with a meeting of the minds. You know, do our values about life and love and sex click? Do we have compatible attitudes? For example, I can’t stand passive or critical women. Do we have the same safe-sex practices that keep us disease free and protect our other partners? And even more fundamental, do we view sexual energy as a spiritual gift from the Goddess? Or in other words, can we just have fun by honoring each other’s spirit and body without drama and entanglements?

Now I realize that this kind of thinking and talking is a downer for movie-inspired fantasy of seeing each other across the room, finding an empty closet or alley, and ripping each others’ clothes for a wild mindless animal fuck. Reminds me of the groundbreaking movie “Nine And A Half Weeks.” I get a lot of juice from fantasies like this and encourage you to do the same. But dreaming and following through are way different. It’s a lot more satisfying for me to connect with a new lover at many chakras, not just the physical ones.

Then there’s the whole arena of learning the sexual preferences of someone new. What does the different parts of their body and nervous system respond to? What kind of foreplay do they like? Do they like to bask and savor the pleasure forever and push for a big one? When they’re ready, what gets them off? And when and how do they like to get off? When do they like it hard and fast or soft and slow? What do they like first or last? What do they like a lot of and a little of?

Sure, a wild animal coupling in the master bedroom during a distant friend’s party sounds way hot. Or a one-nighter in a motel or even a back seat. I remember once in a cloak room in Amsterdam when I was the guest speaker’s personal assistant. But that’s another story. The question is, is that what turns you on?

Some people are addicted to NRE, that’s polyamorous talk for New Relationship Energy. You know, when your new hunk or honey is the most gorgeous sweet sexy can-do-no-wrong angel ever. For those way into NRE, the dance of experimenting and learning what turns on your new squeeze and gets them off is the most satisfying journey of them all. But what then after the kinkiness or challenge or novelty wears off? Will you live with a flat long-term commitment or just keep on with the serial-monogamy leapfrog? Or keep seeing an illicit partner secretly on the side like so many otherwise conservative modern folks?

Learning Tantric Sex is a very viable and long-lasting alternative. Our lovemaking is so uniquely powerful for both of us, and we’ve had enough other lovers to convince ourselves it’s not a delusion. Sure, it was hot making love together in the beginning, but as the NRE was wearing off, we studied Supreme Bliss Tantra and created an even more powerful energy connection. It’s at the same time a subtle but intense flow of electromagnetism.

The most unique part of our love play is how connected we are. We’re showing our turn-on with breath, sound, and movement and instinctively listening for our partner’s responses. Our communication is so open that we can feel into each other’s body. We can sense each other’s ebbs and flows, tides and tide pools, tsunamis and valleys. What triggers me triggers her and vice versa.

We don’t have to be thinking about our partner wants or needs, we just let ourselves go and get absorbed into our own pleasure, secure in the knowing that what makes each of us soar has the same affect on our lover. And if there’s a moment when it’s not working, we’ll communicate and shift. We learned early that the only one who can direct your pleasure is you. This was difficult for me because I’ve always been a guy with a strong ego who mistakenly believed I was a great lover. Which meant to be satisfied, I had to give pleasure to prove myself. Wrong!

And essential part of Tantric LoveMaking is that we each take total responsibility for our own pleasure. But that only works when two are doing the same tango. I am a great lover only when my partner is energetically directing me and my body to give what produces the most satisfaction in each moment.

Calling it passionate doesn’t do the nerve connection enough justice. Yes, we’re breathing deeply, making lots of loud noises, moving reacting and shifting, and quivering quaking and shaking as the pleasure courses through and between us. I believe the slaves who against their will came over Africa in our country’s sad early history called it rocking and rolling. Right, making Tantric love is an ecstatic genre of music.

So what kind of satisfaction are you seeking? Will you let your whimsical cravings lead you around by your jewels? Or do you seek to merge sex and spirit at all chakras and create an energy circuit between you that makes you soar into the Orgasm Zone?

Drop us a line and let us know. We’d love to hear where your satisfaction comes from.

Love, Somraj & Jeffre


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Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to...
- deepen love and intimacy,
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