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Your Tantra Newsletter: The Secret To Having The Big O - Part 5
Cosmic Orgasm Is An Inside Job

This is the fifth in our series about orgasm in Supreme Bliss Tantra, what some like to refer to as the Big O.


"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 8/23/12
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2012 by
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

Wild Is Good But Not Enough

If you’ve followed along our earlier installments about creating the cosmic orgasm, hopefully you’re getting the idea that Tantric Sex requires a different approach than most lovers use.

It’s not animal rutting. It’s not getting drunk at singles bars and blindly coupling. It’s not her doing her wifely duty on Saturday night, spreading her legs just for his release. We’re talking about both parties consciously building and then merging their sexual energy by leap-frogging each other’s pleasure to higher and higher states.

Now we don’t have anything against using certain herbs and chemicals to boost your energy occasionally at specific rituals. We call them “sweeteners.” But you can’t truly achieve your orgasmic potential unless you learn to expand consciousness first without alcohol or drugs. The route to high-flying isn’t by getting high, it’s by getting more and more sensitive and directing the energy.

Sometimes you’ll need to concentrate it to get more turned-on or go over the edge. Other times when you’re too tense or close to losing it, you’ll consciously spread the energy all throughout your body. And when you’re really tuned in to the one you’re with, you flow and give and exchange kundalini so you both spiral higher.

All this requires sensitivity, consciousness, and coordination.

Tantric Sex Requires A Conscious Partnership

This kind of spiritual sexual practice requires a dedicated partnership. That doesn’t mean you have to be married or even monogamous. It means you need to talk about who you are and what you want. It means you need to gradually reveal what makes you tick and what makes you recoil. It means you need to agree on what’s within limits and off limits.

Most of all it means you need to communicate. Notice what you’re feeling and say it. Notice what you’re wanting and ask for it. Notice when your energy is building and direct your partner to give you more.

And it means you need to build trust so you fell safe enough to ask for what you really what in each moment. So you can say and hear “no” and have it immediately accepted when you need to. So you can focus on your own passion and know your partner will rejoice.

Now don’t get the idea that Tantric Sex resembles two play by play announcers micromanaging each other’s hands and mouths and jewels. If you’re a Tantric lover, you’ll be highly responsive without a lot of words. Sure, you’ll make your desires clear from time to time. But even more you’ll let your body get excited and show it. You’ll let your primal nature bubble out of it’s own accord. You’ll move with your lover’s strokes. You’ll breath deep when you’re turned on. You’ll moan and growl and scream with delight without hesitation.

And guess what? This is how you’ll guide your lover to give you more of what you want and less of what you don’t right now. They’ll be no doubt about what’s working and what’s not so you can non-verbally synchronize your lovemaking.

Tantric Partners Play Hard But Smart

So we’re recommending that you make a deal with your significant other to experiment. If you don’t have one, we’re suggesting your line up one or several “Tantric play partners.” Make a conscious connection with friends or contacts who you feel are willing to trust, respect, and explore together. There are lots of websites where you can find people with all sorts of common interests no matter how sedate or kinky you’re seeking.

Make your agenda clear ... “I want to play consciously together without any other agenda than share pleasure.” Be open about what you want and what you want to experiment with and what your boundaries are. Like “no” means “no”, or nothing anal, or no falling in love, or no secrets. If your lovers follow your lead and respect your boundaries, you’ll both learn a lot about your pathways to orgasm. If not, you won’t, so don’t compromise.

Are we urging your to be promiscuous? No, definitely not. That’s a word out of the “sex is bad” world which won’t help you achieve your sexual potential. But it does mean “demonstrating or implying an undiscriminating or unselective approach” which is not what we’re suggesting. Be selective and discriminating and have lots more conscious sex.

Those who haven’t mastered their orgasmic pathways, who can’t regulate their sexual energy, and who don’t cum big when they want to usually don’t have the experience they need to get what they want it bed. So we’re suggesting you explore wisely and safely. Find ways to go with your desires, learn more about your body and your partner’s triggers, practice new sexual techniques, play out your fantasies, enjoy your kinky urges.

It’s Obvious, You Need To Experiment More

Let’s restate the obvious. If you don’t orgasm the way you’d like, then you need to experiment more. If you haven’t found your unique triggers, your clearcut turn-offs, your personal style, how can you expect to go higher and higher? Part of your journey should include eyes-wide-open testing how new and different sexual things feel.

But this doesn’t mean get stoned or lose your mind and dive in blindly. Use baby steps consciously. Right, put one toe in the water and if that toe cums, try another. If not, don’t.

This is a self-teaching process that all fully sexual people have excelled at. Experiment with yourself and with lovers, more than one if that works for you and your relationship situation. Find out what turns you on and focus on it. If you like something, consciously ask for more. If it doesn’t excite you or intrigue you, change it or drop it. Use this exploration to learn more about yourself. Watch your attractions and repulsions, your feelings and reactions. Learn to trust your intuition and that what you’re seeking is your divine right.

In short, let consciousness be your guide and your sexual turn-on be your report card.

Try It & You’ll Like It, Or Forget It

There’s one Catch 22 that gets in the way of some inexperienced lovers. To experiment together, you have to have some inkling of what you want to try. If you don’t know your body well enough, sometimes it’s daunting to know where to start. If you’re not super familiar with your lover’s jewels and sexual responses, experimenting can be more uncomfortable and less fun.

So your journey of sexual discovery has to start with yourself. Some might call it masturbation but that’s got so many ingrained negative connotations that we’d rather call it Self-Pleasuring. That means learn to give yourself pleasure with your hands and sex toys.

Since the ancient religious saying “Know thyself and it will set you free” fully applies here, make this a private ritual first. Create a sacred space by cleaning your room, lay out a blanket with pillows, lighting candles, put on some sensual music, and make sure you won’t be interrupted. Begin by bathing and dressing like you would for a hot date. It is one and you’re it. Settle in front of a mirror, bow and honor yourself, and do whatever you need to do, like meditating, to get comfortable and fully present.

Now explore your body. Touch yourself slowly and gently. Caress your hair, face, arms, legs, torso. When you’re ready, but not too quickly, approach your jewels gently. Experiment with different strokes at different speeds and pressures in different places. Find out what gets your motor running and gradually do more and more.

Now there are no rules. It can be long or short. You don’t have to make yourself cum. You don’t have to avoid cuming if that’s what your body wants. If you’re body wants to soak up the sensual pleasures, let it. If it wants to come multiple times, let it. Just have a good time, Feel good and enjoy yourself.

Let your body be teacher and you be the student. As you repeat this self-pleasuring ritual, you just want to learn more and more so you know what you like. So you can ask for what floats your cork in every moment. So you can guide and direct and teach your lover(s) how to make your jewels sing with delight.

Show And Tell

We hope you enjoy and learn from self-pleasuring. For us, it’s a wonderful way to keep our sexual energy alive and flowing. This essential part of a full life definitely follows the old maxim: use it or lose it.

But it’s only the beginning of your orgasmic self-discovery program. Your next step is to self-pleasure in front of your partner. Now to some people this sounds too kinky. Which is a big turn-on to others. Those who’ve learned to fully embrace their sexuality not only get a charge out of mutual self-pleasure, but they learn from it.

As you learn more and more of what gets your sexual motor running in high gear, this is the time to show and tell. OK, it’s a bit more mature than the same process in kindergarten, but the principle is the same. Hey, I learned this about what turns on my body and this is what I’d like you to try next time.

Love, Somraj and Jeffre


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Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to...
- deepen love and intimacy,
- extend lovemaking, and
- create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra...
- heals your mind, body, and spirit,
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