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Your Tantra Newsletter: How To Find Out Who You Really Are In And Out Of Bed Declare Who You Are Sexually To Free The Unwanted Ghosts You're Carrying Around
"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 8/17/05
Published by Dhyan Somraj Pokras and Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2005 by TantraAtTahoe.com
This free ezine offers practical sex tips derived from the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra coupled with modern sex research. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra which is spiritual sex that helps you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
If you don't want our newsletter, scroll to the end to stop them.
Dear Tantra Friend:
We tell a few stories about exploring and discovering who we really are sexually. Once you decide you want some of the ecstatic gifts that Supreme Bliss Tantra has to offer you, we'll suggest some practical things you can do. One of the best ways is to build your sexual muscles so we'll explain a bit about how our Tantric Sex Muscle Ecourse can make your pleasure and orgasms ever so much more powerful. In fact here's what one of our students, FlowerChild69 from East Texas, wrote us: "I wanted to share my experiences with the exercises. After doing the exercises for the past couple of weeks I have noticed a lot of "energy" in my pelvic area, more so in my yoni. And man, do I get worked up sexually. I want it and gotta have it NOW!!!! I can't wait for the next series of exercises. Thanks Somraj and Jeffre."
* Featured Article: "Find Out Who You Really Are In And Out Of Bed"
* Tantric Quote: "Just Be Who You Really Are"
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Love from Tantra At Tahoe who is Somraj, Jeffre, and John
Featured Article: "Find Out Who You Really Are In And Out Of Bed"
- Declare Who You Are Sexually To Free The -
- Unwanted Ghosts You're Carrying Around -
Tantric Quote: "The worst thing is to be out of alignment with who you are. You don't have to explain anything to anybody. You can just be who you really are. You are as free as you decide to be. You are as bound as you decide to be. You are the only one who is the creator of your own reality and you are creating by the way you feel." --- ABRAHAM
A few weeks ago we were teaching some students in our yearlong Advanced Tantric Initiation about defining their sexual identity. This means to cut through all the guilt, shame, and pain that we accumulate in our sex-negative society and find out who we really are regarding physical pleasure.
For the first time since high school, Somraj remembered a story that his best friend Steve used to tell about the "nooners" at his summer job. The nooners were a couple of long-term workers who, instead of going out to eat lunch, went out to their car every day to make love. This was common knowledge because Steve and everybody else worked several stories up in offices that overlooked the parking lot.
As a teenager Somraj was of course super titillated by Steve's graphic recounting of the nooners' daily exploits. But during our recent Tantric workshop, he explained what made the memory return. It was the incredible shamelessness that the nooners had about their sex life. They were so clear about their priorities that they didn't mind hey, maybe they even were proud -- that everyone watched.
We weren't trying to convince our yearlong students to become nooners or flashers or exhibitionists, and we're not trying to push you in that direction either. The point of this article is that you can get lots more of what you want in bed, and in life for that matter, when you get clear about who you are and what's important to you. You see, because of the pervading condemning judgments about sex, we all pick up lots of beliefs that don't serve our lives.
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We, Jeffre and Somraj, met at a time when we were both individually seeking to better define who we were sexually, spiritually, and holistically. Our first contact was at a Spiritual Sex workshop that we were attending. Somraj relates a profound awakening he had there:
"I had thought I was sexually liberated because I'd had a lot of lovers and survived the sexual revolution of the 70s. But when I was asked to stand up naked in front of the workshop and declare my sexual identity and explain what role sex played in my life, it really stretched me. I came face to face with how much of other people's sexual repression I had picked up and internalized. It catapulted me to a newfound recognition that I was harboring guilt and shame endemic in society that caused me to hold back being fully sexual. Then I really got to work inside to figure out who I really was."
Do You Believe That Sex Is Your Birthright?
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Supreme Bliss Tantra believes that a full sex life is healthy, natural, and essential for thriving relationship. In fact, those of us who practice Spiritual Sex as a sacred sacrament and personal healing path, see it as a divine gift. Our purpose in this article isn't to convince you to accept this view, but to suggest how you can better accept what kind of sexual being you are and want to become.
First off, consider the hogwash you've been fed by organized religions, uptight elders, and sensationalist media about sex. They're simply perpetuating their confusions and passing them on with their own fears and hostilities. Instead, look at how sex makes you feel and how it has added joy to your life and relationships.
Practitioners of Supreme Bliss Tantra are universally sex-positive. That's our shorthand for those who have found a comfortable acceptance of the role sex plays in life in contrast to the sex-negative beliefs that surround us.
We're not ignoring the sexual abuses that occur. In fact, we believe perverts and perpetrators are motivated by the conflict between their strong desires and rigid taboos. The flow of sexual energy is alive within all of us. Dam it up and sometimes all hell breaks loose. We believe that embracing one's sexual nature will relieve obsessions, compulsions, and violence.
You want to rid the world of sexual abuse? Then start at home by getting clear on what you want to give and get when and to whom.
How To Figure Out Who You Are Sexually
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Defining your sexual identity may sound as simple as saying you're a monogamous heterosexual or a bisexual swinger or a polyamorous homosexual. But frankly, the whole labeling thing doesn't work too well for us.
We'd rather you stay flexible and open to possibilities by frequently asking yourself questions like:
- How open, flirtatious, and aggressive do I want to be with new
- How comfortable am I dressing suggestively and revealing my body?
- How active versus passive do I want to be with my current lovers?
- How freely do I want to talk about sex in what settings?
- How important is learning new sexual skills and exploring new
kinds of sexual play?
- How far do I want to push my limits as a sexual adventurer,
exhibitionist, and voyeur?
- Where do other kinkier practices like bondage, domination,
fantasies, and role-playing fit into my sex life?
These are just a few of the many questions you can answer for yourself to define your sexual identity.
But remember, as far as Supreme Bliss Tantra is concerned, there's no right answer. Take your best shot and see how it serves you. Experiment with things you've secretly dreamed about. Drop what doesn't work for you and wholeheartedly embrace what turns you on.
Will You Just Talk About It Or Do Something About It?
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As your sexual self-image gets clearer, you're going to want to actually do something about it. Sitting around chewing on fantasies can be fun and stimulating, but if you really want to enjoy a barbeque, you've got to put the hot dogs on the grill, right? Here are some actions you can take to place your sex life where in belongs within your own scheme of things.
First off, make space in your busy life for the kind and amount of sex you want. A little of the old in-and-out at the end of a long work day can be a great way to fall asleep. But are sleepy quickies all you really want? If your life is full with work, kids, family, and friends, then give your sex life the priority you want. Schedule awake dates in your brain book, get a baby-sitter once a week and stay in, book weekend getaways like when you were courting.
When you've decided to fully accept your God-given sexual nature and realize your full Goddess-given sexual potential, how can you declare to the universe and your beloved that you mean it this time?
One way we encourage people to do is to groom their pubic hair. That's why you'll find a link below to our favorite bump and irritation free personal shaver, the Body Bare.
Here's an even more powerful way to put your intention to make Spiritual Sex a pivotal part of your everyday life into action. To make your personal sexual vision real, do daily exercises. We don't just mean to have lots of sex, though if you can arrange your life to do it once or more a day, more power to you. Here we're referring to exercising your pelvic muscles, or what we like to call your Tantric Sex Muscles.
Nowhere is physical fitness more crucial than in the bedroom. Tantric Sex can give you incredible ecstasy when your sexual body is in great shape. The more you exercise the critical parts of your sexual body:
• the more you'll want sex,
• the more you'll like it, and
• the more orgasmic you'll be.
Fortunately, it's easy for you to train the muscles responsible for boosting your sexual energy, performance, and enjoyment.
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And another thing, do you carry a safe sex kit with you? You know, some condoms, you favorite lubricant, a little vibrator, and maybe even some little blue pills. Our first Tantra teacher was French so she called in a "Valise D'Amour," which means something like love bag.
If you do keep a freshly-charged Valise D'Amour with you at all times, that doesn’t necessarily mean you'll jump the bones of the next hot piece of meat you run into. No, it means you're open to possibility of getting lucky consciously and safely when you choose according to your sexual self-definition.
Of course, if you're in a monogamous relationship, carrying a Valise D'Amour may make your honey suspect you're on the prowl. We'd rather you didn't decide you're a cheat who sleeps around behind your beloved's back, but, hey, if that's who you decide who you are, sleep in the bed you made until you choose otherwise.
But for those married lovers, why not keep your little sex bag with you as a reminder that you may meet your sweetie for a nooner sometime soon? Then you'll remember to call during a work break and start some phone foreplay before you get together. Maybe describing what you're day-dreaming about doing with your fingers or with a new sex toy you'll pick up on the way home.
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One of the best ways for us to determine the sexual identities of our new clients is by just listening to them talk about sex, love, and spirit. " Hell, most people we know never even use words like sex, genitals, and intercourse. Do the people you know every talk about getting it on? And if so, is it dirty locker-room talk or respectful graphic gratitude? Some people's sexual communication style is mute, others get off on talking dirty, while a few gush romantic endearments all the time.
So here's a real test of your newfound sexual identity. What do you tell your family, friends, and kids? Would you say:
- "Mom, we have a robust sex life at least once a day and frankly I
don't have as much time to call you as I did when I was single."
- "Alison, I can't meet you midday today because Bob's coming home
to eat me for lunch."
- "Fred, do you like giving your wife oral sex during her period?"
Even more so for those of you with little ones, your first talk about sex with your kids tells a lot about what you believe. Do you let them know when you're making love? Do you explain it at a level they can relate to for their age? Or do you put it off until you have no other choice or completely avoid it?
There are just so many glorious pleasures to explore. Supreme Bliss Tantra doesn't advocate that you need to endorse them all, just that you try out what appeals to you and see how it fits. A great way to define your sexual identity is to get our entire Tantric Sex Library.
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JUICY JOKE: "Smoking in the Rain"
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home,
having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of
the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end,
put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local
drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that
she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously
embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is,
after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately
asks what brand she prefers.
"Doesn't matter, son, as long as it fits a Camel."
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Dhyan Somraj Pokras and Dhyan Jeffre TallTrees
11200 Donner Pass Road #146, Truckee, CA 96161
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This Document Is For Informational Purposes Only:
The information contained in this document represents the
current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the
date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that
your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a
medical or psychological condition, please contact your health
professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not
intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy,
or services best performed by a health professional. Information
provided in this document is provided "AS IS" without warranty
of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire
risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this
document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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