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Your Tantra Newsletter: Use Your Memories Of Ecstatic Tantric Union
Transformation Occurs By Learning How To Make Love With Your Inner Opposite Gender

We hope you’ve been enjoying the previous three Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter focused on the 112 spiritual sexual meditation techniques in Osho’s Book Of Secrets. The last article dealt with sutra 49 which is about shaking in sex. You can find those three articles at the top of our archives page here…

Here’s the next in the series, not only the safest sex possible, making love without an actual partner, but one of the most powerful. The third sutra is: “Even remembering union, without the embrace, transformation.”

"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 6/26/14
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2014 by
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

50 Make Love Without The Partner

Even though self-pleasuring can be a great method to cleanse your mind, body, and soul, making love with a partner sure is great. So why would one of these fundamental teachings suggest to do it alone? That’s what “without the embrace” means here.

The simple answer is that the most powerful Spiritual Sex occurs between two lovers who both have done the personal work to heal and open their sexual energy channels so that life force can flow freely while making love. If you can’t generate and flow your own energy, you’ll be dependent. Or even worse, an energy vampire who’s feeding off others.

Have you ever heard women complaining about some weird guy that they label a predator? Maybe it’s an apt label for someone who can’t give as much as they get. With two passionate energy producers together, they bounce off of each other back and forth creating a powerful reinforcing circle. If you’ve ever reached that state where you feel like you’ve become one, not two, than you’ve at least had a taste of this merging cycle.

This is the union the sutra refers to. If you can remember it, then you can recreate the energy vortex within yourself. Osho instructs us to lie down as if you are with your partner and let your body start to shake and vibrate as you reinitiate the energy flow within yourself. To make this work for you, do whatever you do during the love act which hopefully includes moving, breathing deep, screaming. (If you missed our last article about shaking, you might want to read it here to understand this better.)

When you can recall and re-experience the ecstasy from a previous sexual encounter, you will be awakening and making love with your inner opposite gender. In other words, for a man, his inner woman, and for a woman, her inner man.

Because we all have an inner male and an inner female, we have this possibility of creating the sacred energy circle of lovemaking. Certainly, growing up in the modern world has conditioned most of us to behave — and believe — that we’re male or that we’re female. Our split into one gender cuts us off from the ultimate flow of divine energy through our inner flute. You see, spiritually we have both potentials within us. In Tantric terms, true love is the union of your inner masculine and your inner feminine. That’s why many spiritual teachers today refer to the divine masculine and the divine feminine, the underlying archetypes that empower our existence in physical bodies.

This merger of inner male and female is the basis of Osho’s explanation of the transformation referred to in this sutra. It’s an essential foundation of enlightenment because this is how the transformation occurs. We are truly the merger of both male and female spiritual energies. By consciously and intentionally recreating this circle within your own self-loving, this union returns you to your native state.

Spiritual Sex is really just a door into this state of union, of knowing both your halves, and uniting. When you can remember the state of sexual ecstasy, you can pass through this door yourself. Not only does this give you freedom from the neediness and reactivity so many of us experience in relationship, but it makes you a much better lover. The lover who is centered and able to enter into an ecstatic state at will, listens, observes, and responds to their partner much better. They can focus on giving, on meeting their beloved where they need the stimulus to be bootstrapped into this divine energetic circle. Then maybe they can both pass through the door.

Once you know this technique, there’s no need to act as if you were making love. You simply re-experience the passion wherever you are. You can feel a blissful connection with everyone and everything no matter what you’re doing. Brushing your teeth, walking the dogs, driving to work, enjoying a simple meal by yourself. The whole universe becomes an ecstatic experience.

Osho explains, “Tantra uses sex as a vehicle. It is energy; it can be used as a vehicle. It can transform you and it can give you transcendental states.”

It’s too bad that so many of us are denied this doorway into blissful transformation because of our negative beliefs about sex. We’re so conditioned that sex is a sin that the mass consciousness of underlying guilt perpetrates condemnation instead of enjoying of this natural life affirming act. Have you ever found negative thoughts bubbling out of your subconscious that prevent you from really letting go and experiencing sexual energy as an uninhibited spiritual flow inside? Though animals don’t have the awareness that humans do or the drive to enjoy the pleasure of sex, they enter the act spontaneously and freely when their hormones and pheromones dictate it. We can learn from this totally natural surrender.

Osho continues, “Tantra says move in it totally. Just forget yourself, your civilization, your religion, your culture, your ideology. Forget everything. Just move in the sex act; move in it totally; do not leave anything out. Become absolutely nonthinking. Only then does the awareness happen that you have become one with someone. And this feeling of oneness can then be detached from the partner and it can be used with the whole universe. You can be in a sex act with a tree, with the moon, with anything. Once you know how to create this circle, it can be created with anything—even without anything.”

When I met Jeffre in 1996 she was studying to become a Tantra teacher. Well, I couldn’t have that, my woman being more advanced than me. (Note, I’m laughing at myself here.) So she returned to the beginning and we did Margot Anand’s yearlong Love And Ecstasy Training together. Yes, it was transformative. And after months of struggle and practice, I learned how to male love energetically, sacredly, spiritually. Though the primary theme of this training was Tantric Sex, the transformation for me encompassed my entire life. By learning the secret of inner lovemaking that this sutra presents, I dropped my negative beliefs and shifted my approach to most everything in life.

Osho says, “This is what Tantra says: Sex is the deepest bondage, yet it can be used as a vehicle for the highest freedom.”

You see, Tantra is the only approach of its kind. It’s about a deep total acceptance of what is. You feel something, sexual desire for example, and instead of judging it, suppressing it, managing it, you find a way to let it flow and grow. “All the religions are against sex, afraid of it, because it is such a great energy.”

So we grow up struggling through puberty with this overwhelming life force. We navigate our journey into adulthood without good guidance, attempting to follow the taboos we’ve been raised with. We try to make love work and become traumatized by how little we understand sexual energy and the abuses that occur because of it. We fight the very powers that brought our parents together and created our body. We end up judging the other gender harshly, wanting them and avoiding them, being drawn and repulsed at the same time. As a result, we become frozen.

“Tantra says try to melt. Do not become like icebergs: melt and become one with the river. Becoming one with the river, feeling one with the river, merging in the river, be aware and there will be transformation. There is transformation. Transformation is not through conflict, it is through awareness.”

Of course the river Osho refers to is the river of life, of life force energy, of desire, and the sexual current that pulses within all of us. Learn to create that circle of the electromagnetism between your inner male and female poles. Don’t fight either, just let what awakens flow. And as the union grows between your two sides, magic will happen. You will find yourself, your truth. You will shed those beliefs and memories that don’t serve you and become more natural.

Yes, your life will change. And by the way, when you can make love with yourself internally, just imagine how good a lover you’ll become.

Love, Somraj & Jeffre

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