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Your Tantra Newsletter: Be Desireless At The Height Of Desire - Part 2
To Reach The Cosmic Heights Of Spiritual Ecstasy, Learn To Let Orgasm Come To You

Last month we explored how life-giving desires can be. Our article continues here addressing the second part of the seeming paradox, how to be Desireless at the Height of Desire.

When I first encountered this conundrum, I thought desireless meant not having any desire. But that doesn’t work when you realize that wanting is an essential necessity of living. When you’re drawn to something, you can’t just will away the yearning. Eventually I realized that being desireless while desiring means not being attached to the outcome. Feel the desire, maybe enjoy the desire, but just let it be. Which means, of course, not necessarily doing anything about it.

"Sacred Sexual Secrets" Newsletter 2/26/15
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2015 by
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to stop them) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex

Let’s say you (a guy) sees a beautiful woman prancing across the street and your limp pole all on its own suddenly reaches for the sky. It’s not easy for the average bloke to instantly cancel an erection already in progress. So why not appreciate her beauty and be thankful for the surge of attraction in your body? And just leave it at that. If your jealous partner could accept all of this, maybe your natural instinct wouldn’t be so threatening after all.

If you’re committed to pursuing every whim without mindfulness, maybe your lizard brain really is in control. But if you can just BE with the thoughts and feelings, the fantasy and sensations, then maybe you’ll be able to appreciate the life force igniting inside you. That’s much better than squelching it or being lead around by the little head hiding in your shorts.

This is the essence of the spiritual principle of surrender. It doesn’t mean giving up. On the contrary, it means accepting the forces that are in play without having to suppress them, feel bad about them, or try to control them. Surrender means going with the flow and enjoying it.

Supreme Bliss Tantra’s approach to orgasm is based on this practice. We don’t concentrate on making huge orgasms happen, we just enjoy the sensual journey and they find us. If you’re really wanting to have a big one or give your honey a cosmic explosion, then you’re attached to orgasm. You’re focusing on something you want to create in the near future, not on the delicious feelings of now. All too often this fixation prevents you from letting the Big O find you. Making orgasm a goal works against having bigger and longer and stronger climaxes. Instead, learn to enjoy every drop of pleasure that you’re experiencing in each moment for as long as you can. Stretch out each sensation and focus on what you’re feeling now, not what you want to happen later.

I call that the discipline of the Last Stroke. If you knew that sliding vajra inside yoni right now was going to be the last time ever, wouldn’t you want to make it last and feel it to the hilt (pun intended)? Wouldn’t you take it slow and savor the sensations at each and every millimeter? Try it the next time you’re coupling and see if you can fully sink into the glorious pleasure of the now. And then repeat it. Treat the next stroke as the last stroke as well. You might find that if you can maintain the discipline of completely experiencing the now that you’ll suddenly go over the top with the biggest orgasm ever.

Our ebooks and trainings teach Tantric lovers to relax and surrender to their sexual sensations even as they get more and more turned on. We call these skills Peaking and Plateauing. I’m sure you’ve enjoyed surprising surges of pleasure while making love with yourself or your beloved. That’s what we call a peak. All of a sudden it seems like more nerve endings are firing faster and harder, sending off bigger showers of little sparks and big shocks throughout your jewels and your whole body.

Now what’s the normal reflex of a hot-and-bothered red-blooded sexual being when they’re soaring upwards into higher levels of excitement? Right, to go for it. But that’s the opposite of remaining desireless. Instead of swimming hard and kicking with all your might to make the most of the tidal wave of energy, don’t try to take charge or fight the current. Flow with it, let yourself be swept along, and enjoy being tossed and turned around to your body’s delight.

A prime enemy of sexual surrender is the mind. When it’s chattering useless thoughts or reminding you what you’re doing wrong, it takes you out of sinking into the experience. Like so many other spiritual practices, that’s why meditation is a powerful tool to help you be desireless when you want to.

Meditation is simple, just sitting comfortably, watching what happens, and feeling your body. Ideally, you would spend 15 minutes or so without thinking. But I can’t do that much. Few can. I sit and follow my breath, letting pictures and ideas float in and drift away like puffy clouds in a stiff breeze. The more you practice, the quieter your automatic thinking machine will become. In anything approaching a meditative state, you’ll find that it’s much easier to be desireless at the height of desire. That’s why some people call Tantric Sex sexual meditation.

As you learn to let sexual peaks sweep you away without any resistance or control, you’ll find your sensations intensifying. Your body is a naturally-gifted sensation-loving pleasure machine. That is, if you get out of its way and let it have its way with you.

The more peaks you ride with, the higher they get. The secret to getting higher is to relax into the current without tensing up. That’s the opposite of the orgasmic progression Master’s And Johnson researched in the 1960s.

They found that the more excited their subjects got, the more tense they became. Their natural response was to fight the build-up of pleasure, the opposite of surrender. When they couldn't hold on anymore, all the tension in their bodies released in one ten-second cataclysmic eruption. And a lot of their sexual turn-on too, spilling so much of their sexual energy along with his seed. Which usually delays or even prevents more loveplay right away.

Sure, a dramatic orgasmic explosion is a wonderful cleansing ecstatic moment when you’re done. After hours of Tantric LoveMaking, we do need to let go before resting and recharging. Just be sure to take your time to get as high as you can for as long as you want before blowing.

When you accelerate up a sexual peak, just let the feelings be. Relax and enjoy the ride. When you get good at this skill we call peaking, you sail over the peak without losing it. If you don’t tense up and prevent your pelvic muscles from spasming uncontrollably, the same orgasmic energy will pulse through you without being squandered. After Peaking, you can glide down a little while your body vibrates and orgasmic energy surges through your whole body. After a little while you’ll undoubtedly want to start moving again towards another peak. Ready for another round of pleasure? And another? And another?

With practice you’ll find that the altitude of your peaks keeps increasing. The amount of energy your body can comfortably contain expands far beyond when you started. What would have made you explode earlier now is much easier to absorb and luxuriate in. You find yourself relaxing into higher levels of excitement, letting your body soak in intense levels of turn-on you never dreamed possible. You find yourself effortlessly surfing from peak to peak, ascending into the stratosphere of sexual pleasure.

At some point your vibrating excitement won’t drop much after each peak. You’ll discover without much effort on your part that the peaks themselves will naturally extend. We call this Plateauing, where your turn-on level stays elevated for minutes or more. It’s entirely possible that your plateaus will last much longer than the typical ten-second spurt of the tension-release orgasm. And as your pleasure intensity rises through a series of plateaus, you’ll find yourself feeling stronger orgasmic sensations than you every did from a quick explosion.

We call this the O-Zone. The O certainly stands for orgasm. The Zone is like something athletes experience when everything is working perfectly. Every pass hits its mark. Every stride is faster and longer. Everything you imagine manifests instantly. Just like Michael Jordan or Peyton Manning or Madonna in their prime. When you’re in the O-Zone, the energy of worlds flows through you and lifts your body and spirit to supreme bliss.

Well, that’s the story of being Desireless At The Height Of Desire. Try it, you’ll like it.

Love, Somraj and Jeffre


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