Coming is great.
But orgasms come and go so fast. Wouldn’t it be awesome to just float there in those intense sensations for as long as you want?
Well, that’s the promise of Orgasmic Sex. And the key to staying in the grip of that sexual electricity current is “peaking.” That’s when your excitement rises sharply but then drops quickly. Sure, an explosive orgasm, what we like to call the Big O, is a major peaking experience. But there are so many others available to those who love to explore their erotic limits.
I’ve written a lot about peaking and if you want to dig deeper into this critical but easy-to-learn technique, start with my post about The 5 S’s Of Peaking.
Lately I’ve noticed that my beloved and I alternate peaks when I’m stroking inside of her. I usually help her reach a big peak first, maybe after a series of little ones.
A major part of my Tantric training could be summarized as “she comes first.” Maybe that’s why I put most of my attention on her pleasure while we get deeper into the energy exchange of jewel union. That’s our name for sexual intercourse. Right, both of us have jewels down there.
Now, I don’t completely ignore my pleasure at any time. But once I’ve helped her shake, rattle, and roll, I figure it’s my turn. So I relax and focus more on my own feelings. Naturally, that makes my arousal spike and I soar over the top before coming back down a bit.
As my other posts have explained, I regulate my peaking by guiding and channeling my sexual energy. Sometimes her peaks energize mine which makes my excitement shoot upward suddenly. And I’m sure the same is happening to her. I can tell because, when I feel a tidal wave of electricity sparking inside, she starts moaning and gyrating in unison.
Once we’re both flowing a sizable current of erotic charge, we alternate peaking. She wails and flails as her pleasure spikes while I follow her up and down. But it’s her experience that we’re both concentrating on. And then I do the same while she supports me. No doubt, alternate peaking turns each of us on more and more. At first, one of us peaks while the other plays second fiddle.
But the amazing thing I’ve discovered recently is what happens after half-a-dozen or so of these ups and downs. We begin feeling each other’s energy. It’s as if our nervous systems get coupled (while we’re coupling). Her excitement streams into my body and mine fills hers.
It sure seems to me that that’s the physics of making each other higher.
Sometimes, while I’m following her up a peak, the sexual charge floods my body, making me peak just after her. Then I notice the same happening to her. It’s like ping pong. Her peak makes me peak, and mine triggers another one in her, back and forth.
Early in alternating peaks, we pause for a moment after we’ve each crested once. But as our erotic voltage levels increase, these peaks last longer, gradually morphing into pleasure plateaus. The duration of these high valleys of excitement far exceed that of the typical 10-second explosive physical orgasm.
The longer one of our plateaus lasts, the more likely we are to trigger the other’s launch into a continuous stream of earth-shaking sensations.
Now, alternating peaks and sharing plateaus can go on for many minutes. Sometimes 15, sometimes 30, sometimes approaching an hour. Though we sure don’t want them to stop, there is a limit to our physical stamina. Especially after a long day of work and exercise.
But often we find ourselves vibrating and undulating and shrieking together in a sensational plateau together. We sure need all the heavy breathing we can handle to fuel our bodies. It’s as if every nerve is firing and every cell is coming.
Without a doubt, that’s a simultaneous full-body orgasm.
Because the ramping up of these peaks and plateaus are all energy orgasms, our vital essence isn’t drained. We certainly experience lots of muscle contractions and jewel spasms. But we’re not in the uncontrollable grip of pelvic convulsions that make me ejaculate and her exhaust herself which spills the vast majority of erotic charge. That’s why we can go on and on, higher and higher. In effect we’re charging each other’s batteries back and forth.
Hopefully this gives you a better grasp of what we mean by Orgasmic Sex. It feels like we’re coming the whole time.
Have you ever heard your baby yell, “It feels so damn good. Don’t stop!” Well, now you both know how to keep it up for as long as you want.
Love, Somraj
I don’t have to convince you that the most powerful sexual energy comes our of your jewels (genitals). When I play with myself, not only does blood fill my vajra (penis) making it erect, but it gets way more sensitive. Before I knew how to spread the excitement out of my jewels, it quickly got more than I could handle. 
Your jewels are powerful sexual energy generators. The hotter your sex, the more energy you create. The longer your sex, the more energy you create. The better your technique — or that of your lover — the more energy you create. 
llows certain patterns when it rises through me. 
Now for those who want to become qualified as sexual electricians, it’s essential to understand how to maximize that turn-on. Which requires understanding the difference between amps and volts.
Volts measure how fast the river is flowing, how much pressure the current creates, how charged your tissues are. Haven’t you noticed that sometimes you touch your jewels and it’s instantly electric? Really sensitive, I mean. Almost like a spark jumps from your sex organ to your hand, mouth, or another’s sex organ. 
Which takes us to another part of the lesson, namely watts. Watts measure how much power an electrical current contains. So the more watts, the stronger your pleasure and the bigger your orgasms. 
At times some women get off on being taken. 
There’s a right and wrong way to do this of course. In the BDSM world (bondage, domination, discipline, submission, sadism, masochism), negotiating consent is essential. So I have no problem with any practices that are discussed, planned, and agreed-upon in detail. 
But pressuring a woman to perform on command just doesn’t seem to work for me. In fact, it makes me sick. 
I call it No-Pressure Desire. This philosophy basically says, “You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, I want you, I’m here, I’m interested — you pick the time and place.”
Then all of a sudden she showed up at a threesome we had scheduled with her husband. He and my wife make beautiful loud music together if you catch my drift.
You see, the kind of love we all embrace is when two powerful beings let themselves connect on all levels. Though I doubt it, I might have gotten Janice to do my bidding. But then we’d be playing the slave-master scenario and likely without full-hearted consent. I probably would have violated her boundaries or at least thrown her far outside her comfort zone. I would become the evil perpetuator not the loving partner. 
Being a somewhat evolved horny guy, I’m not against the age-old relationship axiom — “Let’s get drunk and screw.” Today that probably shows up more as “Let’s get stoned and make divine love.” 
A case in point is the hygiene of anal play. As my sex life has been expanding in recent years, I’ve welcomed any gentle-at-first penetration back there from lovers I trust. Lovers who are as fun and fastidious as I am.
So, as I was saying, what I found was that I had all sorts of inner rules about where I could put my hands when playing with myself. When I lube up a sex toy and slide it in my butt, undoubtedly that hand gets contaminated with the kind of germs we don’t want to spread. 
What I was discovering was that my self-pleasuring habits followed well-worn grooves. These were uninspected patterns that limited what I would let myself enjoy.
This didn’t happen like a sudden flash of clarity. It evolved in stages. First, I let my fingers have their way with my rosetta. But at first I was still uncomfortable using that hand for anything else. So I decided it would be OK to play with my balls while my other hand was busy sliding up and down my shaft.
As a guy who’s had lots of lovers who’ve enjoyed lots of pleasure, I can honestly say I’m not totally in control of a woman’s orgasm.
Let go of the outmoded romantic notion that the best lover always knows intuitively what to do to make their sweetheart go wild. Sure, we all luck into such synchronicity at times, but to base a continuing love relationship on this myth will backfire.
Most of this post comes from a training program in my 
Ladies, while the two of you are learning and whenever you need it, use your innate feminine supportive nature and nurturing qualities to follow his rhythm. In other words, develop your sensitivity by employing the natural tracking skills that my lesbian friends tell me are an essential part of every woman’s make-up and their lovemaking. Then you’ll know when he’s getting close to ejaculating because you’re tuned into his level of excitement. 
Play Like Kids 
“When it comes to love I want a slow hand.” — The Pointer Sisters
Sure, at 70 my sexual responses are slower than when I was a young buck. Then I would come within 2 to 5 minutes after penetration. Even though it was the worst thing for my sexual stamina, I would pump as fast as possible. I was laboring under the mistaken impression that jackhammering was how women come.
How do I do that? Well, it starts with relaxation. That may sound contradictory, relaxing when you’re going at it. Sure, slowing down makes the action less arousing. But the kind of relaxation that I’m talking about, the kind of calmness that works for me, is inside.
After twenty years of practicing Tantric sexual stamina, I can honestly say that it is easy most of the time. I just tell the most aroused parts of my body to relax and they do. I imagine a channel opening up inside and it does. I intend to siphon some sexual energy out of my crotch and it flows up that channel.
After we settle into the higher orbit, we feel our sensory fields open to a wider spectrum of sensations. And the impact of those sensations is dramatically magnified. To get the idea, imagine you’re looking through a telescope at one spot on the moon and all at once your vision widens to cover the whole moon. And that’s happening to your sense of touch, smell, taste, and hearing at the same time.
Before our Tantra training we typically rushed towards maximum turn-on and orgasm. And usually missed. Now, after nearly twenty years of practice, we instead build, conserve, and make our sexual energy last. Sure, sometimes we slow down. But lots of the time we pump away as frantically as any wild animal. 
Other times we have to consciously manage our pleasure peaks. As we reach for more and more turn-on, we let the peaks come and go as they will. We ride the upswells and relax into the down-swells without fighting them. 
Now I realize what I’ve written so far has mostly been energy theory. Yet, the sexual techniques we employ have a lot to do with our reaching ecstatic states. If you’re interested, you’ll want to discover what works best for you and your partner. Here are some vital fundamentals.
For both of us, titillating a second orgasmic trigger boosts the energy current. In our latest ebook 
As a teenager and a younger man, any swish of a shapely butt would make me hard. Now that I’m a sexy senior citizen, my schwing reflex isn’t as reliable. But when I’m erect, that super sensitivity is still ultra wonderful.
Yes, I did. Now they may not be as visible from the outside as when a guy’s love tool reaches for the sky. But feminine jewels (genitals) undergo much the same arousal process as male ones.
What may not be as obvious is that a woman’s yoni (vagina) needs to be sufficiently tumesced to enjoy jewel union (sexual intercourse). Check out the before and after pictures at the left for some idea of what I’m talking about.
Since feminine wetness isn’t totally predictable, we all need a better indicator of the feminine erection. Sheri Winston, in her great book 