Myths Abour Sex, Best Way to Eat Pussy, Orgasm Gap

Here are some more links to valuable articles that will help you inderstandhow to have Orgasmic Sex…

Myths About Sex: 5 Things Women Should Stop Believing – mindbodygreen

What’s The Best Way to Eat Pussy? 10 Tips to Give Oral Mindfully – Beducated Magazine

A new study quantifies straight women’s “orgasm gap”—and explains how to overcome it | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

Interview about Tantra, Tantric Sex, and Religion

VIP Interview With Somraj Pokras Co-Director Of Tantra At Tahoe And Author

Tantra teacher

Somraj Pokras is a Tantra teacher who works alongside Jeffre TallTrees at the Academy of Supreme Bliss Tantra from Tantra at Tahoe. Supreme Bliss Tantra is a carefully constructed brand of Tantra which focuses on the oldest living spiritual disciplines. Tantra is unique when compared with other organisations since it can be full customised to each individual, so people are able to follow Tantra with a wide range of approaches. This means that they are able to use Tantra in such a way that it is best suited to their individual lifestyles so that they are able to find out what best works for them.  The common themes that Tantra includes is:

Supreme Bliss Tantra combines all of these core philosophies to assist people with western background to be able to follow. It uses sexual and orgasmic energy to form a deep level of expanded consciousness which will:

Tantra At Tahoe have developed eBooks, teleseminars, workshops and coaching sessions. This is a VIP Interview with Somraj Pokras co-director of Tantra At Tahoe. Somraj is also the author of over 10 books including Female Ejaculation, Male Multiple Orgasm, Long Hot Tantric Love Making and Supreme Bliss Tantra Guide to the Ecstasy of Spiritual Sex.

Tantra books
Image: Male Multiple Orgasm and Female Ejaculation books

Tell me about yourself

Somraj Pokras co-director of Tantra At Tahoe, author of 10 Tantric Sex books, sexologist, author, blogger and trainer.

What inspired you to become a sex educator, sexologist and a Tantra expert?

I always had a strong sex drive but little understanding of how it really works. When I met my wife she was studying Tantra so we did a yearlong program together.  It transformed our sex lives individually and collectively so thoroughly that we started teaching others to follow a similar path.

What inspires you?

Books, articles, music for sure.  But even more so from applying consciousness and mindfulness to sexual encounters. My central interest is the anatomy and dynamics of sexual energy. So after we make love we talk and analyze what happened.

How has Tantra developed from Buddhist and Hindu teachings?

Not very accurate. Tantra came first as a grassroots rebellion against these and other organized religions. The earliest Tantra writings created a path to enlightenment without dogma or intermediaries like priests or holy men.

Why is Tantra important to Buddhism and Hinduism?

Buddhism and Hinduism aren’t anywhere near as sex-positive as Tantra has always been. In contrast Tantra doesn’t separate sex and spirit. Though it wasn’t originally a sexual practice, it advocates the awareness and application of the physical, especially lifeforce energy, to spiritual growth. That’s so different from modern religions that in the West it’s become identified with sacred sexuality.

What is the difference between Tantric Sex and regular sex?

First, Tantric lovers treat their beloved as a reflection of the divine. A god or goddess. Next, love making happens in a sacred space with ritual practices like meditation, eyegazing, and intentionally calling in desired energies. Tantric sex is more conscious, more communication, more cooperation instead of male dominated. It’s longer because it’s focused on heightening sexual energy and amassing more pleasure instead of the goal of orgasms. Tantric lovers have multiple orgasms, many of them energy based instead of purely physical and triggered by more of the 31 erogenous zones than average lovers contact. When Tantric lovers choose to climax, women usually come first and many times. Many say it’s slower which is true at times. But Tantric sex is changeable, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, and often interrupted by application of hands and mouths.

How can people experience the best orgasms with Tantra?

By taking time, building energy together, targeting erogenous zones, and synchronizing their motions to reach a series of pleasure peaks, first alternately and eventually together.

What are the best Tantric sex positions?

The classic position is yab-yum, with her on his lap with her legs wrapped around his hips. The name means mother father because it depicts the Tantric creation myth, far removed from Adam and Eve. The Tantric view is that the divine beings Shiva and a Shakti create the world by making love in this position. Their secretions overflowed and solidified into the physical  universe. But to ask the question actually shows confusion with Tantra which rarely specifies postures and the Kama Sutra which has a chapter focusing on sex positions.

What can people do every day to experience Tantra?

Become more aware of their bodies, its sensations, its energies. They can do this my meditating before and during sex, practicing relaxation, and breathing more consciously.

Tell me about your product range?

We offer Tantric sex ebooks, long-distance coaching, and live private workshops. We have hundreds of free articles on our website and a steady feed of sexual news, techniques, and discoveries on our blog. Our latest ebook is Long Hot Tantric Love Making available at Tahtra At Tahoe.

Tantric Quickie, Vagina on Sex, Your Aura or Biofield

To enjoy Orgasmic Sex, check out these articles…

It Exists: The Tantric Quickie – Beducated Magazine

Your Vagina On Sex: What happens as you approach orgasm

How Your ‘Aura’ or Biofield Affects Your Health & Others Around You, Backed By Science – Collective Evolution

Masculine & Feminine, I’m a Slut, Recharge Your Sexual Energy

Here are links to some articles that can help you understand vital aspects of Orgasmic Sex…

Rebalancing The Masculine & The Feminine – Collective Evolution

How I Discovered I’m a Slut and All the Orgasms I missed Out on Until I Became Proud Of It

Recharge your sexual energy – what to do if you need more to enjoy more | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

Tantra Newsletter: Making Love Sounds Boosts Sexual Ecstasy

Using the Five Cruxes of Ecstasy to Magnify Your Sexual Energy and Supercharge Your Orgasms

What happens when you approach orgasm? Your focus narrows, you breathe deeper and faster, you make noise, you move sensuously, and you see fireworks exploding all around you. This is what passion looks like and ecstasy feels like.

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“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #291 published 1/29/18
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees http://www.TantraAtTahoe.com
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2018 by TantraAtTahoe.com
To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register…
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Comments, questions, feedback: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training. 

Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
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In Tantra we call these inherent responses the five cruxes of ecstasy. They are…

  • Presence: being relaxed and conscious in the present moment,
  • Breath: using the intake and release of air to energize you,
  • Sound: harnessing the power of your voice to stimulate energy flow,
  • Movement: moving your body sensuously and using your sexual muscles to pump energy, and
  • Visualization: creating an image of what you want to feel in your mind’s eye.

The five cruxes of ecstasy are simple tools that allow you to willfully manage your pleasure. When you consciously harness these natural orgasmic reactions, you can magnify your turn-on by choice.

A basic belief of Tantra is that ecstasy is our natural human state. The dictionary defines ecstasy as intense joy, delight, and elated bliss. It’s an extraordinary elevation of the spirit so intense that you’re carried away beyond the reach of rational thoughts and ordinary impressions.

People use words like rapture, euphoria, reverie, and transcendence to describe this indescribable feeling. It happens when you’re filled with overwhelming emotion or overpowering energy that spills over your normal borders.

In this article we want to highlight the sound crux.

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Erotic Love Sounds

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Super-Natural Sex sounds loud and noisy. Making erotic love sounds, the third crux, is how we express the pleasure we’re feeling. We cry out a lot when we’re turned-on. Jeffre shrieks, Somraj growls, and we both moan and bellow. Plus you can hear us shouting “yes!” and “wow!” and the ever popular “oh my God!”

Vocalizing releases inhibitions, opens powerful nerve channels, and stimulates kundalini flow.

Your ability to make love noises is regulated by your fifth or throat chakra. If you don’t make sounds during lovemaking, it’s probably somewhat closed. This can limit your ability to get clear and ask for what you want. Plus a block anywhere in your inner flute restricts the flow of orgasmic energy to your higher chakras where the experiences of spiritual vision and divine communion occur.

In addition, making sounds is one of the most powerful amplifiers of ecstasy. The same nerves that regulate your voice-box are connected to your jewels. When your orgasmic reflexes are working without inhibitions, voicing your pleasure comes naturally. Sound moves energy beyond your jewels and disperses it throughout your body to all your cells.

We recommend that you make a genuine effort to open your throat. Start by sincerely embracing the Tantric attitude. Immerse yourself in sensations and turn them into fitting sounds. Making gut-level noises can release pent-up energy that could be blocking your flows of pleasure.

Sometimes your tissues and organs need you to express their primal urges with grunts and moans. Sometimes you just need to exercise your power with growls and howls. Maybe that’s why female porn stars shout “fuck, fuck, fuck.” We don’t find this particularly arousing, but if that’s what turns you on, go for it.

Intentionally making sensuous sounds also causes a vibration inside that resonates with your sexual energy. When you’re really turned-on, try vibrating your throat with different guttural vowel sounds and see if it intensifies your pleasure and spreads the energy around your body. It does for us.

It can be a real erotic boost hearing your playmate wail, shout, and scream with ecstasy. Sex-positive women are usually better at making love sounds than men, but it’s essential for both. Guys, ask your woman if your moans and groans of pleasure turn-on her on. You might be surprised at what she says and inspired to be more uninhibited.

Of course, if you’re breathing shallowly, you won’t have much air to make sounds with. So the Tantric breath and making love sounds work closely together.

To practice, sit comfortably and start the Tantric breath. That simply means breathe slowly and deeply through your mouth. As you exhale, make the sound “ahhhh.” You can also practice using the vowels: a, e, i, o, and u. Phonetically, they sound like “ah,” “eeh,” eye,” “ooh,” and “uuh.” See what fits you best.

If you practice while you’re self-pleasuring, you’ll really have something to moan about. Even better, agree during the partnering questions to focus on it during jewel union (sexual intercourse). On in-thrusts, both exhale and say “ooo” as loud as you can muster. On out-strokes, inhale, try and say “ahhh” as forcefully as you can in your voice box.

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The above article was excerpted from our new Long Hot Tantric LoveMaking ebook. Look for future articles about the other cruxes and tools to boost sexual energy and ecstasy.


      Love, Somraj & Jeffre

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TANTRA DISCUSSION BOARD

Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Tantra Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.

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“Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK: The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men”

Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.

We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.

Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.

We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.

Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.

Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.

Click here to download it right now…

http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm

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SUMMARY STUFF

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Contact Us…

Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees

11260 Donner Pass Road C1#139, Truckee, CA 96161

Email: http://www.tantraattahoe.com/connect/news.htm

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Tantra Sex Blog

Do you have questions about sex? Want to try what other lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit blog for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here…  http://tantratahoeblog.livejournal.com. This is the adult educational journal of TantraAtTahoe.com where anyone can post what’s up in their sex life. And what’s down. Here we post our experiences and encourage you to do the same. Did you have a great time list night? A lousy time? A troubling time? Tell us in graphic detail. We want to know and help. This isn’t porno, it’s sex education. Freely post your questions and we’ll do our best to answer them. And at the same time we can all learn to be more open about this vital part of everyone’s life.

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Ebooks, Sex Toys, Adult Products, Tantra Services

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/ebooks.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/product.htm

       http://www.tantraattahoe.com/services.htm

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FREE Tantric Erotic Art Gallery

Dream juicy, colorful, steamy thoughts as you peruse our Tantric Erotic Gallery. It’s full of free sexy pictures and hot sex pics here

         https://www.icloud.com/sharedalbum/#B0M532ODWDw15R .

We hope some of these images turn you on and get sexual energy flooding your body. And we hope when you get turned on you’ll have somebody dear with whom you can share those life-giving forces. Enjoy!

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Past Articles…

To help you revolutionize your sex, love, and intimacy, check out previous articles in our newsletter archives at…  http://www.tantraattahoe.com/resource/news.htm

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Special Report

As a newsletter subscriber, you’re entitled to a free copy of our groundbreaking 70-page Special Report “The Top Ten Tantric Secrets Of Sex, Love, & Intimacy.” To begin receiving your secrets in installments, register here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/specialreport/register.htm

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Thanks For Passing It On…

Please, forward this newsletter to all anyone who might be interested! Quote anything

with the following attribution: “Reprinted from Sacred Sexual Secrets Newsletter ©2016 TantraAtTahoe.com.”

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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA

Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.

Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…

     – deepen love and intimacy,

     – extend lovemaking, and

     – create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.

By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…

       heals your mind, body, and spirit,

     – connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and

       immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to

reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.

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Privacy Statement…

We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.

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Subscribe Or Unsubscribe…

To subscribe to the “Sacred Sexual Secrets” newsletter, click here… http://www.tantraattahoe.com/reg/news.htm

The Morning After the Marathon Was Way Hot But Different

I love having sex the morning after a long marathon of wild erotic lovemaking. But it’s way different. More like melted chocolate than thunder and lightning.

Since we simply do what feels good to ourselves and each other, that’s fine. Orgasmic Sex doesn’t to be a tear-your-clothes-off, shake-the-rafters, break-the-bed kind of romp. Sometimes it’s sweet and slow. Like our last morning-after coupling.

We slept well the night after, but the day before started around 2 pm and ended close to midnight. So we were both pretty tired.

There was ample interest for more. She laid back against the pillows and spread her legs. Sitting between her legs, I was once again awed by how beautiful her pussy was. In my typical mock macho tone I threatened, “You know what’s gonna happen when you wave that tempting thing at me, don’t you?”

She just smiled back seductively.

So I sat between her legs and she put her bent legs over my thighs. My soft cock was only a few inches from her clean-shaven crack. Even after our strenuous antics of the day and night before, I still wanted to be inside her. I admired the work of art that her cushy lips and peaking pearl (that’s the tip of her clio or clitoris) displayed only for me. At least as long as I could stand it just watching.

Before long I couldn’t resist touching. My fingertip moved slowly and gently at first, playing with her fleshy outer lips. When I spread them with my two index fingertips, I could see her thin inner lips turning pink. With a little wetness on my fingerpads, I traced those delicate petals up, down, and around.

That’s when she started to squirm.

It was so damn tempting to put something inside her pussy’s widening mouth. But I’m a lover trained in the ancient erotic arts of Tantra who glories in making it last. I tarried until I could see her brows knit and her motions get jerkier.

Yet I didn’t immediately give her what she clearly wanted. Instead I scooted forward and took my semi-hard cock in my hand. With the soft wet foreskin, I massaged first around her outer lips and then her inner lips.

Have you discovered how tantalizing cockhead massage circles can be?

Her moans made it clear she was enjoying these erotic caresses. They turned to deeper groans when I shifted to up and down strokes. The up-stroke teased her pussy’s mouth and lingered through her vestibule. (That’s the super-soft pink tissue that surrounds the opening.) I started back down across her fourchette (the folds of tissue at the bottom of the vaginal opening) and even lower. But she stopped me from crossing her backdoor by shaking her head “no.”

I guess all that vigorous thrusting back there the night before left her a little sore.

No worries, I just stroked up and down over her yoni (the Tantric name for pussy) a few times until she squealed with delight and relaxed. After a brief pause, I lengthened my cockhead massage to cross up between her inner lips and over her pearl. Because I was totally hard by then, this rougher stimulation was more intense. But she was turned-on enough to take all I could offer this way for a few more faster, harder, superficial strokes.

We like to call this kind of dalliance “loveplay” instead of foreplay which commits us to penetration. But what she did next made it clear I was committed to enter her.

Every time my cockhead slowly passed her now halfway gaping opening, she thrust her hips towards me. I admit freely that I knew what she wanted, but I played coy for a couple more passes. That’s when she yelled “Fuck me now goddamit!” So I relented.

Well, not completely. I initially used the technique the football players in the locker used to joke about. You know the one where the stud says, “I’ll only put the first inch in”? Well, that’s what I did. Actually I just continued the cockhead massage inside the first inch of her canal. She has a particularly responsive outlet. That’s the little opening at the top of the pussy’s mouth where the pee comes out. And it’s also the end of the spongy tissue on the upper wall that most lovers mistakenly call the G-Spot.

It’s not a fixed spot but a rough swollen crest that extends inside for a couple inches or so. That’s why call it the G-crest instead.

You might be wondering how I learned this kind of loveplay. I’ve studied all the detailed erogenous zones in both gender’s sexual anatomy via websites, books, and the bodies of various lovers. Women have fifteen different sweet spots outside and ten more inside. Stimulating them is what brings the most pleasure. And doing that just long enough is what triggers the different kinds of orgasm that women can experience.

Anyway, she didn’t let my cockhead play with her outlet very long. As I thrust inward, she pushed back driving me deeper each time. Gradually I went further and further. That’s because I know she has ultra-sensitive deep sweet spots. The night before she really loved me pounding them. But not this morning. About half-way in she stopped pushing back. I missed this cue at first and tried to prod the deeper erogenous zones. But when there was little response, I got the message.

She wanted my cock to rub the first couple inches of her G-crest around and past her outlet. It was even better when I raised my hips and rubbed my shaft against this swollen area. The harder I pushed up, the stronger her peaks of pleasure. She had maybe three or four crescendos until a louder one that rocked her vigorously.

But she didn’t have enough energy to go over the top. And I didn’t have enough energy to try and make it happen. Which is the point of this article. Whatever happened or didn’t, it was all good because it felt so good.

I tried scooting back and down so I could enter from the bottom of her yoni. That’s how I sometimes prod her outlet directly with my cockhead instead of rubbing it with my shaft. Sometimes the direct jab drives her crazy. But not today.

Remember we were tired. These gyrations were straining our already overworked muscles too much. So I switched to the Scissor Position where I lay on my side and entered between her legs.

The reason she likes this position is that I can play with her clio while my vajra is thrusting. To boost the electricity, this time she adder her little vibe to her clio. That made her shake and wail again briefly.

Then she said, “Sorry, but that’s all I’ve got today. Yesterday wore me out, I guess.” With protesting muscles and an uncertain erectile future, I didn’t protest.

Even with our limitations, we had lots of fun and pleasure for half-an-hour. If you were in this situation, wouldn’t you have preferred the lazy coupling to skipping it entirely?

The reason I wrote this blog post was to give you a real-life example of Super-Natural Tantric Sex. That’s where you work together to hit each other’s sweet spots the best ways possible for as long as they’re responding. It’s a partnership that makes you both feel orgasmic so much longer than an explosive orgasm can do.

And to share how to do all this is why I wrote my latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making. If you want sex to be all it can be, download a copy now.

Love, Somraj

Sexual Muscles Are Important But You Can Overdo It

Question

I read your book about 3 years ago (Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery) and had gotten to a place with a few partners where I could last as long as I wanted.  About 18 months ago I started getting blood in the semen and it would backfill into my bladder.  I have had this on and off.  I have experimented with quick ejaculations not trying to delay with. I blood.  And it seems when I flex my PC muscle (pubococcygeal or the pelvic floor) 3 or more times during sex or masturbation, I get blood in my urine and ejaculate.  I went over this with my doctor and went and got scoped by a urologist.  They found nothing as it healed up.  Have you heard of this before?  What would you recommend I do to delay ejaculation?

Patrick Herbig (patherbig@gmail.com) reprinted with permission


Answer

Wow Patrick that doesn’t sound too good. But the same happens to me sometimes. I have an enlarged but otherwise healthy prostate. The last time I had it ultra sounded the experienced doctor said that was common with an oversized gland. So I don’t worry about it since it’s only occasional and temporary.

If yours is normal sized I really don’t know what to tell you. I haven’t heard of this from PC clenches alone.

There is a Tantric practice called vajroli that teaches men to evacuate into the bladder.  But it’s not something I’ve practiced or know much more about.
All I can say if it feels good and doctors see nothing abnormal in your gland, continue to enjoy yourself.
If you’re not comfortable with the way it is, I would ask the following…
  • Is the urologist you consulted experienced with similar conditions?
  • What is the size of your prostate?
  • Are you forcing Ejaculate into your bladder with intense contractions?
  • What does that feel like inside?
It could be that your success is physical. If you developed the advanced energy practices that depend more on relaxation than muscle contractions, you would be putting less pressure on your gland.
If you want some help with any of this, please let me know.
Love, Somraj

Hi Somraj,
Thanks so much for your response!
I think I have figured out that my PC muscle is so well developed and I am not using the relaxing techniques enough that I actually caused the damage by squeezing my pc muscle too much while very very erect.
It was very scary at first!
I finally told my doctor about your book and the methods I had learned and practiced and we figured it out.
I am in the process of going back through your book and practicing the relaxation techniques and spreading the energy away from my genitals.
I have had several very satisfied lovers as a result of your book and similar books!

Thanks again!

Patrick Herbig, PE

She Wants It Often, I Want It Longer

Our sexual patterns are different. Though we have so much in common and our sex life is great, after 21 years it’s a little surprising to discover new things.

Like she wants it more often and I want each time to last longer.

Maybe quicker sex is fine for her since we’ve been making so much progress on triggering her orgasms faster. She only needed about 20 minutes of thrusting last night to explode.

For most of my sexual life I couldn’t last anywhere near that long. But my Tantra training and extensive practice with a wife who loves sex has taught me to extend. Now I can surf from peak to peak until I’m ready to let go an hour or more.

I’m just saying that I f you’re quick on the draw there is hope.

So she wants it every other day which is more than I’ve ever had before. Of course I love to help her over the top. It feels great and it’s good for my fragile male ego. But when my motor gets revved up, I prefer to float in an orbit of ecstasy for a couple hours on a good night. Or on and off all weekend during one of our marathons.

Fortunately she really gets off on swapping roles and using my favorite vibrating dildo on me. After her big O she did me like for another 40 minutes. Still I wanted more so I went to my computer after she fell asleep. Though my “internet girlfriends” don’t really know who I am, their pictures help me imagine screwing them. Which keeps me dancing on the verge while playing with myself.

The best news is that we’re both accepting of each other’s preferences. So neither of us pressures the other to change. Being sex-positive means we don’t judge or resist the fantasies that our healthy libidos drive us towards.

Anyway, we’ve both been through lots of different phases in our 21 years together. What we each crave now will probably change soon. And my guess is that it will still be ecstatic.

 

Love, Somraj

Healing Sexual Trauma, Orgasms Alter Consciousness, Extraordinary Lovemaking

Here are some links to articles that can help you understand and practice Orgasmic Sex…

What is tantric sex, and how can it help heal sexual trauma? | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice

Neuroscientist Explains How Orgasms Can Be Used To Reach An ‘Altered State of Consciousness’ – Collective Evolution

Bored With Sex? 3 Tips For Extraordinary Lovemaking – mindbodygreen

Don’t Believe These 10 Myths About Tantric Sex

This article appeared originally on Consumer Health Digest.
Myths About Tantric Sex

A young woman in a new relationship recently asked, “We’ve been together for a month and our sex life is good.

But now my boyfriend wants us to try Tantric Sex. OMG, what kind of kinky stuff have I gotten myself into?”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg in the sea of myths about Tantric Sex. Of all the modern new age practices people are diving into these days, Tantra may be one of the most misunderstood.

Sting’s 8-hour sex claim on The Oprah Winfrey Show didn’t help. Neither do all the closed-minded men in my public events who vehemently denounce the whole idea of giving up ejaculating.

The truth is that Tantra is a thousands-of-years-old spiritual practice mind you, not a sexual practice from India. It’s about raising consciousness and connecting up the mind, body, and spirit.

And that’s all done by becoming more intimate with your own lifeforce energy, much of which is sexual for most people.

When you do, you certainly heighten your sensations along with your sense of who you really are.

Sure, when you meditate more, feel more, and communicate more, your sex life can improve* drastically.

But I wouldn’t suggest pressuring your partner to try it until you get clear on what it is and what it isn’t.

To help, here is my list of the top ten myths about Tantric Sex. Don’t blindly accept them without looking into the real stories which follow.

Myth #1: Tantric Sex Means Wild Orgies

Wild Orgies

If wild orgies are what you’re looking for, then, sorry, practicing Tantra won’t guarantee you’ll find yourself in a threesome, foursome, or moresome anytime soon. From its inception, Tantra was more about the solo practice of individuals reaching for enlightenment.

A key element of that journey is finding yourself, calming your mind, and getting fully into your body. Most of us have been so deeply programmed with inhibitions about feeling good that this is often an arduous process. Which is why practicing pleasure is a spiritual practice in Tantra.

When two partners make progress on that path, their relationship grows and evolves. For those partners who were raised with sex-negative puritanical beliefs, often the most resounding impact is on their sex lives.

Enter Tantric Sex, a heartfelt ritualistic way of physically bonding. Couples who practice Tantric Sex find the amount of pleasure they create and share expands dramatically.

In other words, in spite of the fact that I’ve been to quite a few deemed sacred ceremonies, wild sex parties aren’t automatically included.

Now it’s true that couples who’ve dedicated themselves to more pleasure are more likely to dabble in open relationships like swinging and polyamory than those with the average boring sex life. But it’s not an integral part of Tantric practice.

Well, except for one thing. There are some little-known ancient Tantric manuscripts that describe group sex rituals in vague terms.

But what little we know of these underground gatherings is that they were only attended by highly-trained adepts and focused on merging with the divine.

Myth #2: Tantric Sex Is Just A Front For Sex-Workers’ Services

If you take the above sentiments seriously, then clearly Tantric Sex is much more than a hooker’s scam. But without a doubt you can find a bevy of Tantric Goddesses in every major city today. Often they offer sensual sessions of Tantric massage.

Are they just prostitutes in colorfully flowing sheep’s clothing?

I’m sure there are some around. But for the most part, in my experience, no.

I am friends (and more) with quite a few Tantric “dakinis” as they’re called. That’s the Sanskrit word for celestial helping spirits. They sincerely believe they are helping men transform their lovemaking into something more sacred.

Many do hands-on sessions that teach men to satisfy women and avoid premature ejaculation. And there are male “dakas” who help women embrace their sexuality, too.

Are you aware of the well-established research on the orgasm gap? Many studies have shown how much more frequently men come than their female partners. The same isn’t true, by the way, of same-sex couples.

Ask any woman how sensitive, knowledgeable, and respectful many of her past lovers were and you’ll be inundated with horror stories of exploitation, abuse, and even violence.

That’s a pretty damning evaluation of how successful parents and schools are with sex education.

While I’m sure there are many district attorneys who would disagree with my opinions, just maybe these Tantric sex workers are actually performing a valuable service to the current and future partners of these men.

Myth #3: Tantric Sex Is All About Sex

All About Sex

Because it concentrates on maximizing sexual energy, Tantric Sex doesn’t require any physical contact. Those dakinis offering Tantric massage might only use their hands while fully clothed.

Tantra is about raising consciousness. Consequently, Tantric Sex is more about intimacy, communication, and divine connection. It’s performed in a “sacred space,” a room that’s intentionally beautified to arouse all the senses.

We use terms of respect like Sweet Everything’s instead of Sweet Nothings and “jewels” instead of medical names for the genitals. And its rituals often include meditation, clear negotiation of consent, and reverence for each other’s spirit.

Though that’s far from most people’s definition of rampant sex, may find the bonding highly sexy.

Again, by surveying the average woman, you’ll find how powerful these practices can be to awaken her erotic side.

Once into the crucible that these preparations create, the jewel union (our name for sexual intercourse) can be amazingly erotic, hot, and intense.

Myth #4: Tantric Sex Is Slow Sex

I’d have to agree that Tantric Sex is often slower than what you see in a porn flic. It takes time to set up the sacred space, build intimacy, and develop a trusting atmosphere.

When our senses our focused on cultivating and exchanging sexual energy, slower often serves us better. Tantric lovers develop the ability to relax even when highly aroused.

That’s especially true when we’re catapulted into one of the altered states that Tantric Sex is known for.

But not always.

My Tantra-teacher wife has taught me how vital variety is for her sexual pleasure. We almost always start slow, waiting for our energy channels to fully open and link. But then we race off to spurts of hard pumping.

These are typically sandwiched between moments of stillness where we catch our breath, relish our sensations, and check-in verbally.

So sometimes slow, yes. But sometimes medium and sometimes fast, too. Not to mention the tantalizing breaks using fingers and mouths on each other.

Myth #5: You Can’t Orgasm During Tantric Sex

Orgasm During Tantric Sex

LOL! That’s a really good one. If you could only see us when we decide to go for it.

Now it’s true that Tantric Sex is a departure from the increasingly instant-gratification-demanding culture that we live in. We cultivate pleasure and want to make it last. So pushing for a quick explosion isn’t our number one priority.

Instead, we aim to amass sexual energy and revel in it, using each other’s highs to springboard each other to even more intense excitement. We call these peaks of pleasure.

Gourmet Tantric Sex lovers major in the skill of peaking. Often that looks like edging, coming up to the brink of climax and backing off. More often it resembles dancing on the verge of the cliff right before the point of no return.

Without training and practice, few lovers can withstand the assault of the powerful sensations just before orgasm. So they let go and enjoy the ten-second ride.

Sure, it feels great at the moment. But all too often, especially with men like me who take a long while to recover, ejaculating ends the playtime.

It even happens to some women like my wife who are too sensitive after coming to continue without a long break.

But what if you could hover there and prolong that intense excitement?

Tantric Sex is often called Orgasmic Sex because we learn to dance on the verge of that all-consuming black hole. We vibrate, shake, and jackknife from the huge currents of sexual energy coursing up and down our bodies.

Just like the classical ten-second physical release, our skin flushes, our nerves fire, our breathing deepens, and our voices raise. But we can make it go on and on.

We call these peaks “Tantric Energy Orgasms.” After a series of them, we’re propelled into a continuous state of ecstasy. And, of course, we have a name for that, too. The O-Zone. O for orgasm, of course.

Myth #6: Quickies Have No Place In Tantric Sex

In the classic movie Love At First Bite, when asked to have a quickie, Count Dracula played by George Hamilton replied, “No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie.”

Now I’m not saying that Dracula was a Tantric master. Well, who really knows? But it must seem after my rousing exposition about longies that quickies have no place in Tantric Sex.

For the most part, you’d be right. But you see, Tantra isn’t a religion with a holy book and lots of dogma. So there are no rules about what you should and shouldn’t do. Which reminds me about our record-setting (short time) “laughgasm.”

Once, against our better judgement, we were separated for a week. That’s a very long time without doing it for us horny rabbits.

When reunited, we set up a sacred space in front of the fireplace, began kissing and touching, and couldn’t wait to engage our jewels.

Though it was a major challenge, I put it in ever so slowly so we could feel everything. (The slow part was the challenge, not the penetration part.)

But, dammit, she was too turned-on to take it easy. Pulling me tight, she started jerking and bucking violently. Like any supportive partner would, I matched her speed and pumped her hard.

When her contractions grabbed me, I ejaculated violently. Fortunately, that made her scream and come, come and scream, and so on.

Just like the old days before Tantra, we lasted only a few strokes.

But the explosion was enormous. The feelings were so intense as the fireworks launched through our bodies that we shrieked at the top of our lungs.
The funny part was when our mellow Golden Retriever put his snout right between our faces and bellowed right along with us.

It was so funny that our orgasmic moans morphed into howls of laughter. That’s why we call it a laughgasm.

Usually, we make love in rounds with a few moments of stillness between them. They typically last longer than our howling quickie, from ten to thirty minutes. But sometimes they’re so intense that we collapse after a handful of minutes that makes us take a short break.

So I guess you could call those quickies. Maybe we should call our longies a long series of quickies.

Myth #7: Tantric Sex Requires Secret Sexual Techniques

Secret Sexual Techniques

No, that’s not true. There are no secret sexual techniques to do what you’ve just read. Tantric lovers use their eyes, breath, hands, mouths, and jewels like everyone else.

Because they’re dedicated to pinnacles of pleasure, they study, talk, and practice more.

Which probably makes them more skilled at a whole range of skills like massage, oral, genital, and anal sex. But they’re using the same tools we’ve all been issued with.

Some think that Tantric Sex depends on body-straining sex positions that only practitioners of Yoga can get into.

Not true. The only Tantric guidelines about where you put your bodies are that they need to be comfortable so the energy can flow freely.

Those folks are confusing the spiritual sex practices of Tantra with the Kama Sutra. The later was a compilation of sexual and romantic behaviors of upper-class Indians about 1500 years ago. It had little to do with ritual, energy, and spirit.

As a naked Goddess once told me in response to my insistent come-ons at a Tantric workshop, “It’s all about the energy, baby.”

It’s fair to say that we employ some tools to heighten arousal and intensify orgasmic sensations. But they’re far from secret. Little-used abilities in the bedroom like relaxing, focusing, breathing, moving, and sounding.

If you choose to practice Tantric Sex, it’s a good bet that your sexual techniques will dramatically improve*.

But that’s something you will develop as you become more open and more aware of what’s going on inside and out.

Myth #8: Tantric Sex Isn’t Primal Or Kinky

Well, it’s true that the aim of sacred sex is NOT to see how kinky you can get. Christian Grey with his domination playroom from Fifty Shades may have made Anastasia come quick and hard, but he wasn’t very Tantric.

I know what it looks like. The whole idea of approaching sex with reverence for the divine presence within each other may sound contrary to cavorting like animals.

But that’s only because you’re thinking of sex and spirit as separate. In Tantra, primal instincts and lofty spirituality are different flavors of the same meal.

When torrents of sexual energy are coursing through your jewels during Tantric Sex, you may well growl, flail, and wail like a wild animal. That lifeforce is as sacred as any prayer to a Tantric adept.

And soft words and sweet sentiments of joy and appreciation for the sacred forces in all of us may be a huge erotic turn-on.

In Tantra, sex and spirit are one.

So there’s no reason why blowjobs in the park or anal sex in the garage can’t be sacred.

Largely due to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, there is increased interest today in BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism). At first glance it might seem that playing with power and pain could never be Tantric. But think again.

Experienced kinksters are conscious of what they’re doing. They carefully negotiate who’s doing what to whom beforehand. They use failsafes like safewords.

They establish “scenes” exactly suited to get the sexual energy of the players flowing big time.

When one finally achieves that long-awaited total control over another and the other completely surrenders, barriers and inhibitions can be released in a way otherwise not possible.

Sometimes role-playing really gets our juices flowing. Many of my lovers use fantasies they’ve never told anyone to turn themselves on and push themselves over the edge of orgasm.

Who’s to say what any particular lover needs and wants to free their untapped reservoirs of erotic charge? If it’s dressing up as the Big Bad Wolf and taking Little Red Riding hood in the men’s room of your local dive, go for it.

Myth #9: Tantric Sex Is Only For Women

Tantric Sex Is Only For Women

Over the years, we’ve primarily had two kinds of clients attend our Tantra trainings: women who brought their men to us so their guys could be better lovers, and men who dragged their women to us so they could be more orgasmic.

In other words, it’s all about women’s pleasure. In light of the orgasm gap, that’s certainly needed. So it is true that many of the benefits of Tantric Sex help women become more orgasmic.

In Tantra we recognize that sexual energy is feminine in nature and requires a feminine touch to fully unleash. So does that mean that women should lead when it comes to Tantric Sex?

Well, I do love it when she gets on top and takes charge. Or spreads her legs and shouts, “Give it to me hard, now, daddy!”

But giving women all the power is too simplistic. The Tantric view of genders is that everyone has an inner male and an inner female.

Society conditions the majority of people’s values and behaviors to conform to their body type. As a result, most men act strong and women tend toward being supportive.

But as our current gender stereotype revolution demonstrates, everyone has the opportunity to develop both ends of the spectrum. Women love a sweet man who caters to their needs.

Men like me love a strong woman who asks for what she wants and directs the action.

And while we’re on the subject of orgasms, men who practice Tantric Sex can enjoy the much wider spectrum of sexual climaxes that most women are capable of. I’m talking of multiple orgasms, blended orgasms, and non-genital orgasms, for example.

Myth #10: Tantric Sex Is Magic*

Well, you know, there might just be some truth to the mouth that Tantric Sex is magic*. But not in the way you’re thinking.

As I’ve said, there are no hidden tools or mystical secrets that you need to achieve all the delights of Orgasmic Sex.

This approach is readily available to everyone regardless of gender, age, or lifestyle. Same-sex partners can enjoy it as well as straight, cis heteros whether or not they engage in penetration with or without sex toys.

It’s no secret that few of us learn to use lion’s share of our mental faculties. Or focus on what’s going on in our bodies without distraction. Or master the ability to relax fully and receive pleasure without limit.

It’s no secret that we breathe deeply, moan loudly, and shimmy and shake when we’re coming.

This isn’t magic*. And if you practice these natural functions, you can trigger orgasmic fireworks whenever you choose.

From the outside, those adept in summoning, circulating, and exchanging sexual energy do look like magicians. But it’s not an arcane spell or special DNA or a magic* wand that makes ecstasy happen.

It’s not magic*, it’s practice.

To continue my contrarian tendency, I must mention that there is a practice called sex magic* that some Tantriks practice. It’s the intentional use of sexual energy to manifest desires in the physical world. But it’s no different than the affirmations and visualizations that many new age folks utilize.

On the other hand, maybe charging your vision with sexual energy is a form of magic*. Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

Read More: Frequently Asked Queries On Tantra To Maintain Healthy Relationship

Conclusion

There are the ten myths of Tantric Sex. As you can see, the common misunderstandings cloud some powerful truths.

Truths you can use to find you own way in the maze of sex, love, and relationship in the complex modern world.

Tantra may have sprung from a culture thousands of miles and thousands of years away, but much of its practices are still beneficial today.

If I’ve set your mind straight, I’m pleased. If I’ve piqued your interest in exploring Tantric Sex, I’m thrilled. If you realize that the journey has to be one of your own making, then we’ve arrived at the same conclusion.

May your sex life never be the same.

Love, Somraj

Author

Expert Author : Somraj Pokras (Consumer Health Digest)

Somraj Pokras is a sexologist and Tantra teacher who’s written 10 Tantric Sex books. You can find hundreds of his free articles on his TantraAtTahoe.com website where you can also subscribe to his Orgasmic Sex Blog. Follow him on Twitter, on LinkedIn or you can email.