Tantric Masturbation: What Happens Outside Looks Much The Same, But What Happens Inside Is Way Different (X-Rated)


Sexologists like me — and lots of normal people — believe that masturbation is good. It feels good, it’s good for your body and mind, and it’s the ultimate in safe sex. And when you’re climbing the walls, it’s a great way to relax. Plus it’s always close at hand.

If you’re in a relationship, it can be very educational when you use masturbation to improve your sex life. Doing yourself is a great way to learn what you need and shows you what you need to teach your partner.

Orgasms are a use-it-or-lose-it kind of ability for those who don’t come so easily.

If you haven’t tried doing it in front of each other, you have a fun experience ahead. One study showed that 85% of people masturbate while in relationship. So I suggest that a major part of embracing a fully sex-positive attitude is accepting that masturbation is a healthy and natural part of life.

Besides, those of us who enjoy getting themselves off aren’t likely to stop anytime soon. It seems to me better if we learn to make peace with it.

I’ve Enjoyed It Many Ways

As a youngster — and by that I mean from my teenage years until 50 — I did it a lot. More than daily at first and several times a week as I aged. And a lot of ways and in lots of places. Outside in nature was my favorite. And still is on my top-five list.

Being a young male without any sex education, my aim was release. You know, to relieve the pressure of lust preying on my otherwise brilliant, objective, and superior mind. For a while at least I was more able to treat people I found attractive with some degree of appropriate respect and maturity.

Oh, and so I didn’t get blue balls.

Yeah, I’ve always had a real strong sex drive. It was like a river during spring flood carrying me with it. And because I didn’t know any other way of coping, sometimes it was like an irresistible tsunami.

Sure, I felt a little embarrassed and guilty about my habit. But I didn’t think I had a problem or was particularly perverted. I just had this urge and found a private way to deal with it.

Then I found Tantra. If you’re unfamiliar with this ancient spiritual philosophy, just think of it as a way to accept yourself — your soul, mind, body, and sexuality — fully. Basically, Tantra is a bunch of practices beginning with meditation and breathing designed to help you harness your lifeforce energy. And, of course, when you’re horny there’s lots of energy alive within you that’s jerking you around looking for an outlet.

Transmute Your Sexual Desires?

You might expect a guru (not me) to advocate that you use spiritual practices to transmute your sexual desires into higher consciousness. Yogis have done it for millennia. Well, that’s a wonderful prescription if it works for you.

But all too often putting advice like this into action results in suppressing your innate erotic energy flows. Not good! Trying to dam the powerful current of libido usually fails. And with nowhere to go, the unreleased energy does cause perversions: unwanted sexual advances, damaging abuse, and traumatic violence.

This is not what the creator had in mind when endowing us with our natural sex drives. I firmly believe if even the weirdos amongst us had healthier sex lives the world would be much safer for women and children.

Now, even at 70, I make love a lot. With more longies than quickies. With more enduring pleasure than rushing headlong to ejaculation. With my Tantric training, I’ve learned to let the sexual tidal wave carry me to higher planes of satisfaction typically without a wet orgasm.

I guess I could say that I’ve made peace with my robust erotic current. I let it infuse me with vitality, joy, and creativity. It makes my life richer and more fun than when I was trying to repress my naturally sexy state.

Self-Pleasuring With The Emphasis On “Pleasure”

These days when I have sexual urges, desires, and fantasies, I self-pleasure. OK, from the outside that looks just like masturbation. But from the inside it’s different.

Tantric self-pleasuring doesn’t rush me headlong towards getting myself off and relieving the pressure as quickly as possible. Instead, it’s about giving myself pleasure. Long-lasting, more intense pleasure than I ever got from a quick squirt.

Some call it self-love. That’s a popular concept in new-age spiritual thought. Certainly, making myself feel good by playing with my body demonstrates that I love myself. But even more, it’s about being fully alive. Regulating, condemning, and going to war against my sexual nature always made me feel worse.

Today I use the easily recharged reservoir of sexual energy to keep myself young, fit, and happy.

Tantric masturbation — or self-pleasuring as I prefer to call it — is all about the energy flowing through my body. Since it’s mostly focused on my genitals, my practice raises, expands, and spreads the life-giving sensations everywhere.

In Tantra we call this “running energy.” It’s the conscious skill of infusing every cell, tissue, and system with the excitement that’s usually confined to the sex organs. Running energy makes me shiver, shudder, and shake. It feels like every cell is coming.

If you can recapture the sensory memories of how an orgasm feels, imagine those sensations lasting for minutes at a time all over. That’s my motivation for Tantric self-pleasuring.

So instead of trying to make myself ejaculate and relieve the pressure, I turn myself on and spread the excitement as long as I can. Sometimes that’s for hours, but at my age if I’m tired or achey my self-love sessions get somewhat limited.

How I Do It

There’s no Tantric magic in my personal hand-jobs. But there is in what’s going on inside.

Usually I watch my favorite brand of porn. Interestingly enough, the preferred visual fantasy seems to be a very personal choice amongst my best friends and lovers. Yes, we share even what many would consider theses most intimate privacies.

One boyfriend prefers videos of complete sex scenes. Another specializes in pictures and movies of coming. Another only gets super titillated from erotic stories.

Go figure, huh? Different strokes for different folks. Literally!

And in a different way, erotic images serve my female lovers, too. When really aroused and wanting to climax, immersing themselves mentally in one of their favorite fantasies often does the trick. That’s probably why there’s such a groundswell of interest in kinky role-playing these days, largely the result of the popularity of the 50 Shades Of Grey books and movies.

My preference is pictures or short animated clips of penetrative sex. Yes, the sexy bodies and glorious private parts entice me. But his erect tool entering her jade garden (that’s the ancient Chinese euphemism for the pussy) is my favorite.

You might ask how we all gravitate towards our favorite images. For me, it’s simple. How does it make me feel? Sometimes one configuration of a couple’s bodies does nothing for me while another one that’s not much different floats my cork big time.

That means it shoots streamers of sexual electricity inside and fills me with that delightful erotic magnetism. So to decide what I want to look at while I’m stroking myself, all I need to do recognize is how much energy is flowing inside me.

How Real Is It?

Recently I’ve noticed that some images actually make me feel like I’m penetrating that lover on my computer screen.

In other words, the experience of watching porn while self-pleasuring simulates the sensations of actual sex. It doesn’t seem to be as intense or last as long, so I’m not advocating doing away with making love with a real-life orgasmic partner.

But when I can realistically imagine what making love with that pornstar actually feels like, I thoroughly enjoy myself. Does my this fantasy world in my head make me lust after them? Well, yes, of course. But I view it as a consensual fantasy. They wouldn’t broadcast pictures of their bodies if they didn’t expect them to be used this way.

So what is Tantric masturbation all about, then? My aim is to make myself feel the supreme bliss that is everyone’s inherent birthright.

Hopefully this explains why Tantric self-pleasuring is a vital part of my spiritual practice. If I wasn’t proud of what I’ve developed, would I be sharing this so openly with you?

May you openly make peace with your own masturbation style and find a healthy way to infuse your life with such ecstasy.

Love, Somraj

Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks: How to Use Them to Trigger Different Kinds of Orgasms (X-Rated)

We had a great 12 hour sex party with a favorite girlfriend and a favorite boyfriend yesterday. We’re so close and trusting and intimate that the ecstasy and the laughter was life-altering.

And I learned even more about what happens with sexual energy during peaking. That’s the sudden ascent followed by the sudden descent of your turn-on. I’ve been studying pleasure peaks lately and just wrote what I thought was the definitive guide here. But we all had so many of them that I couldn’t help seeing deeper into what happens.

Even all being so turned on, we started out without many sharp, jarring peaks. I’m not just talking about first penetration. In our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric LoveMaking we devote a whole chapter to initial entry because it’s so critical to create an energetic connection before the action heats up. Yes, I’m referring to when his vajra (penis) first enters her yoni (vagina).

Sometimes the first strokes create off-the-charts sexual electricity. But yesterday we weren’t in any hurry and found the first few minutes enjoyable but not explosive. When you’re Tantrically-trained as we all are, we can devote a long time to savoring the delicious sensations without rushing.

Then the first pleasure spike hit me. Because I was so relaxed, I could see the sexual energy blossoming in vajra’s head as my excitement rose. After a few up-down cycles driven by many in-out cycles, I noticed the blossoming energy created a current. I could call it a flow of sexual electricity or use many other poetic images. But simply I could feel this hot buzzing sensation pulsing the end of my love tool. That was way real, not just some artistic reference or scientific factoid.

As our lovemaking continued, the sexual charge intensified. What I was feeling was more heat spreading down my shaft and into my G-Spot (prostate gland). When more energy infused my prostate, the tops of the peaks felt like bursts of fire in this orgasm-central gland. Undoubtedly it’s these intense G-Spot bursts that make many men come before they want to.

It occurred to me that some pleasure peaks are more physical in nature while others are more energetic. Of course, it’s sexual energy that creates all the great feelings of any kind of sex anywhere around the body. But what I’ve just described is what happens when you stimulate physical erogenous zones. In other words, hit the physical trigger and for sure you’ll generate sexual energy.

I wondered if some sexual peaks are triggered by energy first. I was sure this had happened to me a lot when I wasn’t paying much attention to these erotic physics. Sex can be way distracting, right? So I decided to play with the dense charge that the sexual strokes was creating. That was partly because the excitement in my vajra at the top of the peaks was getting too close to comfort. I needed to do something to prevent myself from ejaculating prematurely.

What I chose to do was spread the excitement up the central channel from my crotch to my heart. To do that I consciously used the 5 cruxes of ecstasy (breath, sound, movement, presence, and visualization) described in that previous blog post. (It’s entitled The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy.) At the next peak I felt a flare of sexual energy shoot up my body. After a couple more energy flares, my whole body started to tingle and vibrate like my cockhead alone did moments before.

These were peaks triggered by me intentionally moving energy, not just from sexual friction around my most sensitive pleasure spots.

By the way, spreading energy upwards like this is the secret to having full-body orgasms. Even though it wasn’t a full-blown climax this time, that’s what it felt like to my body. Have you ever found that what you were sharing felt so good that you never wanted it to stop? Sure you have. Well, that’s where I was.

After what seemed like nearly forever I noticed my sweetie making those sharp breaths and jerky movements that signals she’s close. I don’t know if this is your experience, but it’s much easier to get her close to coming than push her over the edge. So I thought I’d see if the high-voltage sexual charge in my vajra would help.

I visualized that the dense energy in vajra’s head started sending off sparks and bursts and flares into her yoni. Her reaction was instantaneous. One of the truly wonderful things about my beloved is that she wears her arousal on her sleeve. Sorry, bad idiom, as we were both naked. What I mean is that she makes how she’s feeling crystal clear. So there was no doubt in my mind that she was jolted by the streams of energy I was shooting into her yoni.

Sometimes we can hover on the edge of a Big O for many minutes. You know, approaching the brink and them inexplicably backing off. But not this time. I think all it took was two deep strokes of my vajra while it streamed sexual electricity. Suddenly she started to come. So I followed one of the 17 Orgasm Principles laid out in our new ebook. Namely, I didn’t change a thing. I maintained the same stroke speed, depth, angle, and pressure. And I kept directing energy bursts inside her.

Would you agree that my experiment was successful? I used sexual energy to trigger a resounding pleasure peak powerful enough to call it an explosive orgasm.

I’m really looking forward to more experiments soon. Once we both recover from yesterday’s marathon.

Love, Somraj

The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy

I still remember the homework that our Tantra instructor assigned us years ago. Pleasure yourself to a peak but back off without coming. Do it at least three times.

Back then this oversexed guy had no concept about delaying orgasm and extending lovemaking. But this three-peaks exercise completely changed my life. To be more specific, my sex life.

A sexual peak is when your excitement spikes before it drops suddenly. It’s when your turn-on suddenly shoots upward and bounces you off the bed. Sometimes it feels like you’re momentarily levitating before the eruption calms.

A peak is like a mini-orgasm that may lead to a Big O.

Obviously these are wonderful gifts we are all grateful for. Except when they make the guy come too soon. Or when a series of them drains the woman’s vital essence making it harder for her to come.

Lovers like us who specialize in orgasmic sex — having all the intense feelings as if we were coming the whole time — apply the skill of peaking every time we make love. That’s the conscious ability to manage the rising and falling of arousal.

Mastering Peaking

When you master the skill of peaking, you can float on the precipice where the pleasure is most intense. I call it dancing on the verge which you can do for minutes or more at a time. You might have heard of “edging,” that’s backing off when you get to close to coming. Both edging and dancing on the verge are two of the many peaking techniques which are vital tools of orgasmic sex.

Now you might ask what’s wrong with letting it all hang out and going for it. Well, nothing if you’re both so hot that all you crave is the explosive release of a quickie.

But all too often quickies drop you into the orgasm gap. That’s the well-documented phenomenon of him climaxing much more quickly than her. Further, it may cut your hard-to-come-by playtime short.

Once, after a weeklong business trip, we made a nest in front of the fireplace so we could enjoy hours of orgasmic sex. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), we were both so horny that we couldn’t last more than a few minutes. So we came together in an earth-shattering blaze of glory. The funniest part was our golden retriever putting his snout between our faces and howling right along with us. To be sure, an awesome moment. But we were hard pressed to get as turned-on for the next few hours.

To if you want to overcome premature ejaculation, build more excitement for bigger or easier orgasms, or make it last longer, you may want to get good at peaking.

Anatomy Of A Sexual Peak

To learn peaking, it helps to understand what’s happening with your sexual energy. Sexual energy is the electromagnetic life force in your body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers normally feel it as nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and spreading sensations.

So obviously building enough sexual energy is what causes a peak of pleasure.

Every sexual stroke — be it by hand, mouth, toy, or jewel (genital) penetration — creates a flow of passion current just like the output from an electrical generator. Some strokes may trigger energy blossoms that shoot streamers throughout your body. Some feel like fireworks exploding inside. Others feel like the hot cascades of an erotic waterfall.

If all the sexual energy you generate stays in your most erogenous zones around your crotch, the sensation is way intense. Too much concentrated energy is what makes men come uncontrollably before they’re ready. And by confining the fire around the jewels, it typically doesn’t lead to full-body orgasms.

This may not sound like much of a problem for you if you’re a multi-orgasmic woman, assuming your partner can keep up with you. It’s just that putting all your attention on orgasm can distract you from enjoying the journey. You know, taking time to smell the roses.

And when smelling the roses feels like the most powerful erotic explosion you’ve ever had, you don’t want it to end too soon.

Fill Your Pleasure Balloon

For perpetual orgasmic sex, lovers need to manage the energy build-up before and the release after the peak. And instead of wasting the passion, channel it to fill the whole body.

I use the analogy of the pleasure balloon to help understand how peaking works. Your pleasure balloon is an imaginary energy bubble inside your body that limits and regulates your capacity to feel. At rest, the pleasure balloon is collapsed around your jewels. As you get excited and sexual energy fills your container, it expands spreading the yummy sensations. If you fill it rapidly, it can pop, wasting all that life-giving passion before you’re ready to break.

But if you change your focus to pumping sexual energy into your pleasure balloon, sex becomes more erotic, more intense, and longer lasting. You shift from pushing for or avoiding the Big O to enjoying the trancey feeling of lightness and the percolating sensations of pleasure all over.

It’s your pleasure balloon — the energy bubble filling your whole body — that makes you feel like you’re levitating.

When you’re enjoying orgasmic sex, you maintain the feeling that the tidal wave of sexual energy causes just before a huge climax. You float on the edge of the cliff without sliding over.

Are you getting just a little bit interested in using those electric sexual strokes to hover at sexual peaks while you fill your pleasure balloon instead of keeping your accelerator floored?

How To Peak

I’m a guy with a college-trained brain that needs formulas to remember things. So I use the 5 S’s to describe peaking. These were first described in my ebook Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery which later came out in print as Male Multiple Orgasm. The 5 S’s are…

  • Stop
  • Slow
  • Switch
  • Sound
  • Spread.

If you feel like you’re about to be catapulted uncontrollably over the precipice, you don’t need a college degree to figure out you should stop moving. If it’s the friction on your jewels that is pumping that sexual electricity into your pleasure balloon, turn off the generator for a moment. Duh!

Of course, when those urges are driving you, that’s sometimes easier said than done. But managing peaks usually starts by learning to how stop moving altogether. If you’re with a partner, this may not be the most popular technique but it is fundamental step on the peaking learning curve.

When you do stop in the middle of the action, you’ll take a break in funneling sexual energy into your pleasure balloon. This should make your sensations subside. I find if I take a couple deep breaths and relax as much as possible, I can reset for another ascent pretty quickly.

Sometimes the dip in excitement isn’t instantaneous. Your arousal might keep rising for a bit as you get still. That’s why a major part of each lover’s learning curve has to do with timing. But stopping is reliable at slowing the sharp ascent. And you may find the crest rounding a bit as your excitement settles down.

Slowing And Switching

When you have success with stopping, it shouldn’t be a great leap to softening your peaks by slowing. Again, this should be pretty straightforward. If you’re stroking in and out once every 2 seconds, try one every 3, 4, or 5 seconds. It’s not that different than stopping for a count of two before your next stroke.

If stopping and slowing are elementary school techniques, when you’re ready to master switching you’ve graduated to high school. Switching simply means changing what you’re doing. Change the depth, angle, or pressure of your strokes. Shift sexual positions so the friction is less or creates different sensations.

One advanced way of switching is to adjust the pattern of your strokes. For example, if you’re making two deep pumps followed by one shallow, change to one deep and two shallow. That assumes shallower strokes are less arousing at that moment. If the reverse is true for you, well, reverse them.

As you learn switching, you’ll probably find some stroking adjustments will feel more exciting and might push you over the edge. All in the learning curve, baby. But gradually you’ll discover ways to adjust your lovemaking to ease your peaking without stopping or slowing.

Even Higher Sexual Education

The last two of the 5 S’s, sounding and spreading, are definitely the arena of higher sexual education. That’s because they deal with regulating the generation and flow of sexual energy directly. While most women tend to grasp this ability more readily than most men, it’s a major shift for most lovers.

Sounding simply means to make love sounds. Frankly, that can include any kind of noise. You know, sighs, moans, groans, shrieks, and screams. Personally, I find that I can use my voice to release a sudden surge of energy as I’m rising to a peak. Growling seems to be most effective for me.

Again, most women are better at this than macho guys trained in the stoic school of acting. Might there be a connection in the fact that these women seem more passionate than their men of few words?

The last S, spreading, is the province of sexual energy Ph.D. candidates. By the way, this last S doesn’t mean spreading your legs. Spreading is all about moving the energy out of your jewels or wherever it’s concentrated at the moment. It means consciously funneling it into your pleasure balloon so it expands to fill your whole body.

The Five Cruxes of Ecstasy


Masters of orgasmic sex develop the capacity to manage their sexual energy. In our latest ebook,
Long Hot Tantric Love Making, we present the five tools for doing this: breath, sound, movement, visualization, and presence. We call them the Cruxes of Ecstasy. The first three S’s were all about movement, and we just explained how sounding functions to release too-intense energy bursts.

Another movement that’s very effective in moving sexual energy is the PC pump. PC stands for the pubococcygeal muscles that support the pelvic floor. You might have heard them called “Kegels” after the obstetrician who developed exercises for women after childbirth. When your PC muscles are strong and toned, squeezing them pumps energy up out of your jewels and into your pleasure balloon. Very effective for guys, too.

Using the breath is one of the most powerful tools descended from Eastern yogis and Tantric adepts. To slow the rise towards the peak, breathe deeper and slower in the belly. To let the energy shoot upwards, breathe faster. You may find the same thing happens when you hold your breath.

As your awareness and sensitivity of sexual energy increases, you’ll be able to make it expand, contract, and move simply by visualizing it. After twenty years of practice, I often find I can boost one of my ebbs or calm one of my hyper moments through intention alone.

If this sounds challenging, you’ll understand why I call it graduate level education. But it’s not that difficult if you have a seasoned teacher. In ancient times disciples had to apprentice to a master for years and years to receive these secrets. Back then, one-on-one worked best to provide the discipline and personalized coaching necessary to refine these skills.

But without the last cruz of ecstasy, presence, the journey to orgasmic energy mastery will be overly long and less likely of success. Presence means being present here and now. Being conscious, being aware, being mindful.

Our presence curriculum starts with relaxation, continues with improving sensitivity, and in the end becomes surrender. Not in the sense of giving up the fight but in the sense of letting things go and letting whatever is going to happen happen.

You can’t control sexual energy with an iron fist. You have to guide it subtly and let it do it’s thing. That’s one of the main reasons orgasmic sex only succeeds when you have no goal of orgasm and no rote agenda to get there.

Mastering Your Sexual Peaks

Learn to spread sexual energy and you will easily become the master of your peaks.

At first, you’ll find the ups and downs steep and the crest quite sharp with a few-second break between. I call those masculine peaks. But as you develop the skills of the five S’s, you’ll learn to rise and fall more slowly. You’ll be able to boost the summit’s height when you choose and lower it when you need to.

Eventually you’ll find your arousal won’t dip down as far. You’ll find your sharp peaks becoming more rounded and morphing into extended plateaus. These are more feminine peaks.

Maybe the most sought-after benefit of peaking is having an energy orgasm. That’s where you have all the physical sensations of orgasm without releasing much sexual energy. Or semen for guys. In an energy orgasm you might find yourself jackknifing, crying out, and vibrating all over. It feels like every cell is coming. When this happens in an extended plateau, I call it the orgasm zone or O-Zone for short.

I’ve blogged about all of this a lot. If you want to go deeper, check out these two earlier posts…

Or for the full training program to become a sexual energy aficionado, download a copy of our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

If this raises any questions, please comment below and I’ll answer them right away.

Until next time.

Love, Somraj

Orgasmic Energy Sex is Safe Sex, Passionate Foreplay, and Sometimes a Phenomenal Main Event

I want to tell you about an orgasmic all-nighter I had some years ago with my clothes on. And her clothes on. Let me assure you that our garments in no way impeded the magnetic exchange of sexual energy.

We were teaching Tantric LoveMaking at the Lifestyles Convention, the annual international gathering of 5000 swingers in Las Vegas. In our hour-long class there was a beautiful blind Tantra masseuse who was very interested in what we were presenting. With the guidance of a friend, she came up afterwards to meet us. She peppered us with questions about how we learned, how we practiced, and how she could get more involved. Obviously she shared our values that conscious consensual Tantric Sex is a high form of sacred communion.

When we invited her to join us for our community’s all-night celebration, she instantly and enthusiastically agreed.

Each year one of our friends rented a suite in the Lifestyles hotel and hosted a party starting at midnight. He only invited a couple dozen people who were responsible, spiritual, and uninhibited. After relating our conversation, he welcomed her. When we called to confirm the invitation and offered to pick her up at her room, she was excited. But she assured us her friend — apparently platonic and not interested in our antics — would deliver her on time.

Though there is always lots of coupling and shifting around at such get-togethers, it’s not a free-for-all orgy. We always start responsibly and ritually. Sure, we’re there to have fun and maximize pleasure, but our foremost aim is to honor the divine in each one we meet. So the opening includes a bit of ceremony, presentation of safe-sex and consensual ground rules, and discussion of desires, concerns, and boundaries.

With the agreement of my other partners and lovers, I made a beeline to seek her out in the small crowd. She knew me instantly and welcomed the chance for us to get more intimate.

We talked, we kissed, and talked some more. The sensations that our interacting bioenergetic fields were creating in each of us were delightful. I knew she was feeling it to because Tantric practice is transparent, open, and conscious.

Well, sure, I wanted to rip her clothes off and jump her. But I’ve learned to sink into the glory of each new moment and savor the journey. She was excited to hear how much I wanted her and how patient I was. So we agreed to go with the flow and let whatever happened happen organically.

Actually, my body was responding so strongly to hers that it was like having physical sex. That’s one of the advantages of energy sex. You avoid the distractions of undressing, condoms, finding a comfortable place for arms and legs.

So what is “energy sex?” Well, if you remember what your body feels like when you’re getting close to orgasm, but you’re not even touching, that’s energy sex.

One way to explain it is by understanding the bioenergetic field that surrounds every human body. I call it the “biofield.” You know that there’s electricity flowing through your nerve channels. And that an electrical current creates a magnetic field. The more you use the three Tantric keys of harnessing sexual energy — breathing, moving, and sounding — the stronger those fields. Of course, the more turned-on you get, the deeper you breathe, the more you shake and undulate, and the louder your moans and screams.

All of this charges your biofield and makes it surge and pulse. It feels to me like electrical streamers spreading throughout my body. Sometimes they’re geysers shooting up from my jewels (genitals). Sometimes they’re more like cascades of goosebumps falling down.

One of the best things you can learn from Tantric practice, once you learn to charge your biofield, is to connect with someone else’s. That starts by opening your awareness to feel those streamers inside your playmate’s body. Then you can open passion circuits between the two of you and exchange sexual energy. When you have two or more such connections, you can create energy circles. Our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making, describes how to do all of this in detail.

Now self-pleasuring is great fun and an important way to increase your sensitivity and harness your sexual energy. But the synergy of feeling your lover’s excitement, adding to it, and passing it back and forth is one of the divine’s greatest gifts to humankind.

That’s what we did for hours. Sure, there was some touching and hugging and lots of kissing. From the outside it certainly looked a lot more vanilla than making the beast with two backs. But from the inside it was intense, powerful, and downright cataclysmic.

When I noticed a hint of dawn through the windows and mentioned it, she asked what time it was. It turned out she had an early flight back to Denver. So I called her caretaker and that was that.

I suppose if you ask me now if I was disappointed, I’d probably say a bit. But right then I was vibrating so peacefully and strongly that I gracefully surrendered to whatever happened.

There’s no doubt that this was a perfect prescription for a first date. And since we didn’t exchange any fluids, perfectly safe sex. And since we didn’t arrive at any skin-on-skin sex acts, most would call it foreplay.

But I still remember those continuous orgasmic sensations flooding my body. And as she related, she experienced much the same.

Isn’t that the whole point of sex anyway? To give and receive enormous pleasure?

So I still believe it was a phenomenal main event.

Love, Somraj

Hitting The Right Spot: Triggering a Big O by Targeting A Woman’s Shallow Erogenous Zones (X-Rated)

If you want more orgasmic sex, it helps to hit the right spot. Or more specifically, it helps to excite erogenous zones like the G-Spot. Those are areas of the body particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation. 

Our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making describes how to take full advantage of a woman’s ten outer and nine inner pleasure spots. You can read all about them in our earlier blog post Tantra Newsletter: 19 Women’s Erogenous Zones – Part 1.

Though true, it’s a gross oversimplification to say that the jewels (genitals) are erogenous zones. Sure, playing with a guy’s vajra (penis) will usually turn him on. But if you know how to fondle, stroke, and lick his cock’s five specific erogenous zones, you’ll be even more indispensable to him. I’m referring to the head, crown, frenulum, shaft, and base. Soon I’ll add an article detailing all of these and more.

Yes, there are more. But a savvy male lover also knows how to us those five penile erogenous zones while thrusting inside his female playmate’s yoni (vagina). My January blog post entitled Intersecting Erogenous Zones focused on the deeper orgasmic trigger spots inside a woman. These are three areas at the upper end of the yoni around the cervix. 

But last night we had an amazing encounter with my sweetheart’s shallower ones.

We had just had a talk about the unique characteristics of Eddie’s prick. He was the male partner of a couple we met many years ago at a sacred sexuality workshop and played with one fun night. Eddie’s vajra was rather thin but long and boney. Plus he was very astute about hitting the right spots with it. Especially her cul-de-sac. This is the erogenous zone past the cervix at the deepest point inside the yoni. When he prodded her there, she let out some of the most memorable shrieks. Memorable enough that we both remember the intense experience.

Now my vajra is long enough to reach her cul-de-sac when I’m super hard. But otherwise the head of my cock can be a bit spongy which apparently doesn’t prod that deep crevice in the best possible way. Last night, though, during jewel union (sexual intercourse) my erection excelled at boniness. So I made it a point to slide past her cervix into her cul-de-sac quite often. I knew each time I did because I heard those memorable shrieks.

Of course, that’s not the only sexual stroke I used. Women have taught me that variety always tops monotony. Unless they’re at a pleasure peak and want to go over the top.
But we weren’t there yet. We were having so much fun as I shifted from one kind of thrust to another, from one stroking pattern to another. (There are chapters in Long Hot Tantric Love Making that present the whole story about all those things in illustrated detail.)

Oddly enough, one sort of shallow stroke was evoking a strong reaction, too. A loud and jackknifing one. So I played with it a little more, shifting from deep long strokes to short  jabs around yoni’s mouth.

As I changed angle, depth, speed, and pressure to target different spots, I realized rubbing her outlet was really turning her on.

“Outlet” is the name we use for what’s scientifically named the “urethral meatus.” It’s the opening of the tube that conducts urine out of the body from the bladder. The outlet lies on the top side of yoni’s mouth, usually just a bit inside the vaginal canal.

Because it’s highly sensitive, it’s a shame the outlet doesn’t get more of the attention it deserves. You see, it’s intimately connected with a woman’s G-Spot. Well, actually that’s a misnomer. What colloquially is called the G-Spot isn’t just one fixed spot. It actually refers to a whole series of little glands and ducts in the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra. As a result, the whole area on the upper wall of the yoni can be aroused, awakened, and engorged producing unique and powerful sexual satisfaction.

But we’re focusing here on another erogenous zone, the outlet. Well, OK, the spongy tissue deemed the G-Spot extends into the outlet itself. So you might say it’s all part and parcel of the same pleasure organ. However you define it, massaging the outlet feels damn good to many women. Some adventuresome sorts even like something small and well-lubed — like a very gentle little finger — inserted a bit. Just be super clean and careful if you want to try this. Mistreatment can cause painful inflammation and damage.

There wasn’t any risk with what I was doing with my cockhead. No, the more I returned there, the more spectacular were her responses. After experimenting I found that her favorite in these moments were one to two inch strokes with crown of vajra’s head pressing firmly just inside yoni’s mouth.

That’s when her breathing changed in that special way that alerts me to her being close.

If you’ve read of my other articles or blog posts, you know that I always choose longies over quickies. It feels so good I just don’t want it to end. But, hey, after 15 minutes I got an offer I couldn’t refuse. “If you make me come, I’ll do you for as long as I can.”

So instead of switching things up, I kept up that short outlet stroke going continuously. She had several pleasure peaks which rose in intensity. Then to speed things up, she added just a little clitoral vibration from her favorite sex toy, the Pocket Rocket.

Wow, the explosion from her Big O was monumental. It was an intense, long, loud, shaking one. Yoni’s sphincter convulsed so strongly that I was hard pressed to keep the identical stroke going without being forcefully expelled. Trust me, she doesn’t like her orgasm interrupted with premature withdrawal.

And the aftershock was mind-blowing, too. We had been making love in the Scissors Position, her on her back and me on my side with my legs under her spread-open ones. When she put her legs together as the contractions subsided, it triggered another climax. Now when we stay connected and relax after an orgasm, it’s natural for the expanding sexual energy to spur one or two mini-orgasmic spasms. But this massive one was off the charts.

It’s an extra special good time when she gets two for the price of one.

But I believe there’s a more important moral to the story. I’m not savvy enough to figure out what to give her each time for maximum satisfaction. It changes so much I just can’t predict what will happen next time. What I do instead is follow her energy. I test, listen, experiment, watch and do more of what makes her crazy.

Well, gotta go. We have another wild time planned.

May you have as much fun as we do.

Love, Somraj

Are You a Sexual Adventurer, Exhibitionist, and Voyeur? To Be Fully Sex-Positive, You Need At Least Some of All Three.

A robust sex life is natural and healthy. Yet few of us learn how to extract all the pleasure we can out of making love with others and with ourselves. We can do better if we fully adopt a sex-positive attitude. Here’s how we define that in our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making

An attitude and mindset of lovers who know that sex is a good thing, that it’s a natural part of life, that it’s healthy, and that they deserve as much pleasure as they can get in any way they choose to get it.

If you’re really sex-positive, you’ll explore and expand three sexual roles: adventurer, exhibitionist, and voyeur.

Now before you freak and think I mean you have to become a promiscuous pervert, take a breath. No, you can do all three in the privacy of your primary relationship. Or with yourself.

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Adventurer

Sexual adventurers are lovers who are willing to try new things, to experiment, and to expand their comfort zones. That might include doing more creative self-pleasuring and enjoying yourself more often. That’s our fancy name for masturbation which, to most people, means getting yourself off. But to us Tantric types it’s more about learning what your body likes, expanding your repertoire, and making it last. We usually choose a hot longie over a primal quickie. Well, not always.

Sex toys are a natural complement that can broaden your inner horizons. For example, I can’t comfortably reach my rosetta (anus) for long. So when I want to add anal pleasure to my self-love, a butt plug or vibrator is a welcome addition.

With a partner, being more adventuresome might include asking for more manual, oral, or anal play. How about getting a Kama Sutra book and trying new positions? Why not try it in every room and on every piece of furniture in your house? We still remember the rug burns from the stairs during one of our awesome tours some time back. Or in the shade of the forest or in the car at night with a panoramic view of the city? Mulholland Drive overlooking Los Angeles was one of my teenage fantasies that I didn’t get to enjoy enough. Anyway the windows steam up pretty quick, right?

Being a sexual adventurer starts with taking an honest look at what you’re getting and what you want more of. If you’re coupled, that means both doing that and then talking about it. No doubt, sexual communication is one of the major challenges in long-term relationships. But if you’re aiming to become a thoroughly sex-positive adventurer, it all starts with honesty, authenticity, and transparency. I know, big words that mean be real and be open.

A great way to start investigating practices that you might like is by reading books about sex. Details about the 10 we’ve written are here. Not to forget the thousands you can find on Amazon.

When you’re ready to go public, taking a sex workshop can be eye-opening. Most respect your boundaries and comfort level so they don’t usually resemble an orgy. Jeffre and I met at one — a class not an orgy — so we’re strong advocates of attending a type of group that strikes your fancy. In fact, we met at a series of six Sex, Love, & Intimacy workshops conducted by the Human Awareness Institute. There aren’t any optional public sexual activities until midway through the levels. But we did make love the second night in our private tent. The rest is history.

We’re active in the Sex Positive Meetup group in our area. We understand there are many others around the country. These are groups of people of all sexual preferences who get together regularly to talk, learn, and practice. We do workshops for them as do other sexologists. They’re very respectful as they help new members explore their turn-ons and discover their true sexual identity.

These are just a smattering of ideas. For sure, there are lots more opportunities a little Googling can uncover in your area.

A primer on becoming more sexually adventuresome wouldn’t be complete without mentioning walking on the wild side with assorted kinks and fetishes. Cross-dressing, dressing up, dressing down begin the list. And then there’s ropes and restraints, leashes and handcuffs. The popularity of 50 Shades Of Grey has certainly raised awareness about BDSM practices (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism). We have a thorough survey of the whole spectrum of vanilla to extreme sexual play in our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

Since monogamy has been the norm for many generations, sexual adventurers also engage in various forms of open relationships. It might look like swinging, sex parties, or polyamory. The politically-correct term today is CNM, consensual non-monogamy. Though most everyone you’ve ever met has cheated or come close to it, CNM is different. It’s having sex with outside lovers with the knowledge and blessing of your partner. And sometimes all together. Though some lovers actually form families larger than two, our practice is to play with a small circle of intimates once or twice a month. Our current extended family includes two hetero couples and one single woman.

So how far out of your comfort zone have I pushed you so far? If you’re a bit uncomfortable reading this short list of  some of the possible options should convince you that we all live in an inhibited puritanical culture. There are so many satisfying ways to have adult fun that you might get off on but probably aren’t even trying. Are you ready to move out of your comfort zone and and stretch your boundaries?

I’m not trying to persuade you to do things that you have no curiosity and or attraction to. But when something piques your interest, maybe it’s time to test the waters. That’s what sex-positive lovers do. Consciously, carefully, and after extensive communication with partners.

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Exhibitionist

Admittedly, practicing exhibitionism sounds inappropriate, if not illegal in most places. But if you’re on the path of becoming totally sex-positive, shouldn’t you be proud of demonstrating your sexual prowess?

If orgasms are a divine gift as most sexologists acknowledge, who does it serve to keep them private?

Again, I’m not urging that you follow the Beatles advice and do it in the road. In fact, I’m reminded of my first wife’s prejudice again public male masturbators. She grew up in Sweden and enjoyed lots more sexual freedom than I did in the US. Yet she scoffed at the frequent “village idiots” as she called them who would expose themselves as she walked around town. Her response was to look down at their crotches and laugh. That usually put them off their game immediately.

No, we’re talking about sexual pride with a belief system like, “My body is my temple and I’m proud of it. I value the pleasure it brings me and want to share my good feelings with those I love. I welcome them watching me enjoying myself.” Where appropriate and welcomed, it can be highly erotic to parade your pleasure.

I was able to develop my exhibitionist personality by attending nudist clubs and camps. Many years ago a few close friends camped at a clothing-optional community that was hosting Nudestock. That was a recreation of Woodstock with local bands and no clothes. Way fun.

If you need any evidence that showing off your privates is hot, consider the popularity of sexting. Doesn’t receiving a boob pic, pussy pic, or dick pic from your main squeeze turn you on? Or an acquaintance you’ve been lusting for? I’m not endorsing strangers showering you with sexts, but where there’s already a connection, it’s certainly a welcome growth area for foreplay.

I first experienced a thrill from public self-pleasuring during my formative Tantra training at Margot Anand’s Love And Ecstasy Training. One evening all 80 students created their own little nest in our huge classroom. As the lights dimmed and the soft music played, we all started playing with ourselves. We couldn’t really see how our neighbors were enjoying their bodies, but we could sure hear them. Knowing that my classmates were surfing orgasmic peak after orgasmic peak as I was, added to my excitement.

This ritual undoubtedly prepared me to join the Center For Sex And Culture‘s National Masturbation Day event some years later. At a theatre in San Francisco’s Tenderloin District, several hundred of us pranced around naked playing with ourselves. No touching or sexual contact even with our partners was allowed. It was all about honoring self-love. Some even put on a show in front of a live webcam. I wasn’t ready for that then, but I did have my first experience with a sex machine with a small audience.

There other opportunities not limited to the public eye. You can exercise your innate exhibitionism at home through mutual masturbation. For some couples, touching themselves in front of their partner is a stretch all by itself. But if you’re sex-positive, why not? Like stripping and dancing naked, being watched while you touch yourself can be super steamy. When you both do yourselves at the same time, the synergy can be off the charts. Foreplay, sex breaks, afterplay – I can think of lots of times when it’s a wonderful thing. Maybe I need to be harder, maybe she needs to be wetter, or maybe we’re just up for a shift in the energy. Or when one of us is playing hard to get and we want to prove that we can look after ourselves if need be.

Sure, sometimes the surprise of what I’m doing to my playmate is way hot. But, let’s face, my lovers know their bodies better than me. So if they want to touch themselves, I say “go for it.” It’s really hot watching. Besides, I might learn something. I have one lover who swoons whenever I play with myself in front of her. She certainly has trained me to put on a show for her even at those moments when she’s not ready to be penetrated.

A central theme of our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making is opening and flooding energy channels with sexual electromagnetism. One prominent technique we call the “Add-On.” That’s when you or your partner plays with another erogenous zone while you’re making love. I particularly love stroking myself while my honey is using my favorite vibrating butt plug inside me.

When you’re ready to experiment with opening your relationship, you’ll need your inner exhibitionist to come out and play. Isn’t that obvious? You’ll be naked and hopefully partaking of the action in front of someone else. Would a stranger or a close friend be more comfortable or hotter?

A relatively easy way to wade in is via soft swapping. That’s when you make love in the same room with another person or couple. Maybe you’ve dreamed of a lusty threesome with that busty or well-hung friend. But are you ready for the other lover — or your partner — watch you go at it?

I remember a threesome with my wife and another beautiful woman at a party that demonstrated this. The other woman laid next to us as we made love, holding each of our hands. She didn’t want to participate at that moment, but we shared our bubble of orgasmic energy with her. She was lapping it up, smiling, moaning right along with us. It really turned us on that we could revel in ecstasy next to her while she was celebrating our passion.

Many progressive sexuality workshops will handle the gradient of exposure delicately. And modern professionals will demand enthusiastic consent without pressure before you get involved at any level. So when you’re ready, learning groups can be an ideal way to dip a naked toe in the water here and there.

Sex parties probably require the most developed exhibitionists. Sure, sometimes swing clubs have private rooms. But the real action tends to happen out in the open on the multiple mattresses next to each other. When you’re ready for that, watching and being watched sure intensifies the sexual energy.

My first experience of that was actually in a Tantra workshop where I served as an assistant instructor. As a demonstration for new students, my wife Jeffre gave me an elaborate two-hour Multiple Orgasm With Ecstasy session surrounded by about 100 students and staff. I had never been that high for so long before, likely due to in being so public. Because I was so energetically open to everyone’s rapt attention, I vibrated with ecstasy for an hour after everywhere else left.

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Voyeur

A person who gains sexual pleasure by watching others is a voyeur. The triangle holds that it’s an essential healthy sexual activity.

So am I pro porn? You bet!

Of course, anything can be abused. But admiring others’ bodies and watching them make love online can sure get your juices flowing. For me, it’s an essential part of self-pleasuring. But again, I’m not doing it to get myself off as fast as possible. I’m using erotic images to amplify the sexual energy flowing through my body. My aim is to make myself feel as excited as I can for as long as I can. It’s so satisfying that I rarely ejaculate.

You benefit from your voyeuristic tendencies when you watch your partner playing with themselves. Many men love to watch their woman with another man. Or another woman. Or one after the other after the other. I can remember many times at parties when my wife or girlfriend were making love with others. To be perfectly frank, I’m not immune to jealousy. But my best memories are being thrilled at how much they were enjoying it. In the polyamory world that’s called “compersion,” where you receive pleasure from the pleasure your beloved is receiving.

You need a healthy dose of compersion when you attend a swing party. Sure, you can just watch though I’ve never been able to stay out of the action for long. I do remember the first time I played with another man at a friend’s swing house. The play areas were set up with railings all around. No doubt the crowd watching me fueled my appetite for the other guy’s body.

Memories — playing sex tapes of past experiences in your head — qualify as voyeurism in my book. The standard line is that guy’s are turned-on more by images while women are impacted more by words and feelings. Maybe that explains why romance novels sell the biggest share of books. I guess reading a steamy story about the perfect hunk or babe you conjure up in your mind qualifies as voyeurism.

Sorry, but I don’t have much more to add about voyeurism right now. I pretty much shot my wad in  the exhibitionist section. So just look back and reverse the roles.

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We first learned about what I now call the sex-positive triangle in the Quodoshka workshops. That’s the name given to the Native American sacred sexuality practices based in Arizona. If you want to expand your three corners of adventurism, exhibitionism, and voyeurism, that would be a powerful option. Or we’d love for you to join us at our Private Tantra Workshops.

Whatever you do, I’d recommend taking baby steps first. Look inside and find out what you’re really seeking. Do some serious reading and talk to people ahead of you on the path. If you’re in relationship, talk openly about what you want and how you want to get it. Then find some venues where you can explore and experiment.

By no means have I covered every possible angle. So I look forward to your comments and questions.

May you find everything you’re looking for in and out of bed.

 

 

Love, Somraj

Pleasure Peaks versus Energy Orgasms: Here’s What Happened Inside Me For A Half-Hour

When a lover expands their sexual play to include more energy sex instead of simply friction sex around the erogenous zones, it’s natural to wonder how two critical tools work together. I’m referring to peaks of pleasure and energy orgasms.

My new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making defines a pleasure peak as…

A sudden surge of turn-on in which your excitement rises to a high level and quickly drops back down sharply.

You know, when your passion suddenly spikes nearly overloading your system. It’s the sudden flood in energy that shocks your system even while it feels so amazing. As you learn to manage stronger flows of sexual electricity, it doesn’t have to incapacitate you. I call navigating the peaks and troughs of physical pleasure “peaking.” Peaking means riding the upward wave, sailing over the top without losing it, and relaxing into the vibrating sensations as you float back down. That’s one of the pivotal skills lovers master to make love for hours at higher and higher levels of passion.

The better you get at intentionally peaking, the higher the peaks soar and the longer they last. Eventually they stretch out so it feels like you’re coming continuously. That’s why we call this style of making love “orgasmic sex.”

Before we examine energy orgasm, let’s see what the more classic physiological symptoms are of orgasm. My ebook relates…

Modern sexologists have detailed what happens when you get sexually aroused from jewel (genital) stimulation. Your sensitive zones swell with blood, your muscles tense up, your breathing deepens and accelerates to more than three times normal, your body temperature rises, and your heart rate more than doubles. Many of these phenomena are the result of being flooded with hormones. During orgasm they say, that muscle tension is released at the peak of excitement accompanied by pulsations in your pelvis, notably your pubococcygeus and anal muscles. It’s a charging-discharging cycle.

In the 1960s Masters and Johnson found about twelve involuntary contractions within ten seconds was the norm. Your face, arms, legs, stomach, and butt contract. Your skin suddenly gets flushed as you’re suffused with warmth all over. Suddenly you’re overwhelmed with an intense flood of euphoric sensations. It feels as if time stops and you lose touch with the outside world for a moment. Then your metabolism slowly returns to normal.


With any luck, you’ve noticed your partner growling or crying out, curling their fingers and toes, arching their back, lifting their pelvis, tightening their butt, jackknifing, shaking all over, or grabbing onto you forcefully. Sometimes a man can feel a woman’s heart beating around him and he can feel her muscles spasming and contracting. Now all of this is so satisfying that the quest for orgasm often changes the course of history, at least for us personally.

But if you look deeper underneath most of these physical reactions, you’ll discover that it’s the sexual electricity and erotic magnetism that’s driving the experience. Harnessing and channeling that lifeforce is what “energy orgasm” is all about. My ebook defines it as…

An orgasm resulting from intense streaming of sexual energy throughout the body. It’s more like pulsing electromagnetic waves than physical spasms.

You’ll note that both pleasure peaks and energy orgasms aren’t defined by the explosive release of tension through jewel contractions. That’s the accepted sexological definition of orgasm. In contrast, energy sex has lots more going on for lots longer than a tension-release climax usually accompanied by playtime-ending male ejaculation. My book goes on to explain…

Instead of being localized in your jewels, an energy orgasm feels like geysers of erotic electricity are flooding you, gripping you, and milking you all over. Streaming sexual electromagnetism takes over and shakes you inside and out making you swoon and undulate. Implosive showers of ecstasy fill your body making your entire bioenergetic field pulse like your beating heart. Energy orgasms launch you up to persistent plateaus so high you feel like you’ve been flung into orbit far above the material plane.

I’m relating all this so you’ll understand my experience the last time Jeffre and I made love. We had lots of fun getting each other turned-on, alternating peaks, and then peaking together. When her energy was nearing its limit, she asked for my help to go for a Big O which was glorious.

Like the loving partner she is, after recovering she asked if she could do me. In earlier posts I’ve described how she uses my favorite vibrator on me. My point here is what happened to me inside.

First, I had a series of short, sharp peaks. Next, they started to rise and spread out. Each time I had delightful surge of sensation spreading out from my jewels that made me naturally tense as the excitement rose. Part of the skill of peaking is to relax into the tension instead of fighting it. Each time I did, a shiver spread through me culminating in what the ancient Tantrics call a “kriya,” an involuntary spontaneous twitch, jerk, or jolt of the body in response to the flow of sexual energy. 

Now you might ask “Is that an energy orgasm?” Definitively, I can say yes and no. I mean, compared to the thirty-second to one-minute ones I have, no. But it’s a startling and resounding wave of pleasure, so, yes. In other words, you can call every peak a micro-orgasm. And as they intensify and lengthen, you could deem them mini-orgasms.

So we’re back to my central question, again, “What’s an energy orgasm?” The simple answer is that it’s when many of the physical responses described above hit you all at once and last for a while. Ultimately, Tantric lovers ascend into the O-Zone, the continuous orgasm zone, where they go on and on.

Maybe appreciating what I experienced next will make it clearer. My peaks launched me into a valley of pleasure where my body vibrated in response to spreading spasms of sensation. It wasn’t a steady state of erotic high but rather a shifting kaleidoscope. Sometimes I just floated in a trancey state of ecstasy. Other times detonations like pleasure grenades caused a rising rush of chills, heat flushes, and goosebumps up my body. They were like an inner mushroom cloud settling on my scalp and making it tingle erotically.

At times the vibrator inside me triggered different surges of orgasmic sensations. They were like electrical discharges deep in my pelvis. The expanding shock waves of pleasure rippled out of my gland in all directions. As the rising surges filled my physical and energy body, I would quiver, quake, and shake all over. That’s a perfect snapshot of a full-body orgasm: the orgasmic contractions swept through me first vibrating here, then there, then everywhere.

Compared to the half-hour kaleidoscope, I’d have to say any old few-second peak of pleasure is more like a sneeze than a volcano erupting inside. But who really cares about definitions when you’re having so much fun, right?

Love, Somraj

How to Spread a Peak of Pleasure Into a Full-Body Orgasm

I got an irresistible offer again from my main squeeze yesterday: “If you make me come, I’ll do you for as long as you want.” Accepting was a no brainer. And she loved what she got first.

In my last post I wrote about having a Tantric Energy Orgasm just after penetration. But the hand and toy job she gave me this time produced totally different results. Isn’t that one of the supreme joys of making love – you never know exactly what to expect?

My pleasure peaks followed a third-world voting scheme: coming early and often. I’ve already written a lot about the Tantric skill of peaking  because it’s crucial to spreading erotic energy, extending love play, and fueling energy orgasms. A peak of pleasure is when your excitement shoots upward all at once. Peaking means adjusting the stimuli that give you these sudden surges of arousal so you come back down without going over the top. When graphed, peaking looks like a steep ascent and then a steep descent.

Peaking and Tantric Energy Orgasms are just two of the useful techniques illustrated and described in depth in our new ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

These quick up-and-down excitement cycles were quick and intense. But after a few I noticed that they were kind of localized. That’s what makes lovers come before they want to, namely, concentrating too much electrical sensation and orgasmic energy in their jewels (genitals).

Where I feel the electromagnetic vibrations  causing the most sensations in my body I like to describe as my “pleasure balloon.” It’s as if there’s an energy bubble inside my crotch when I first get aroused. Pumping it full of energy until it fills my entire body is what gives me full-body energy orgasms.

Though I often find myself hovering on the brink of a wet climax, that wasn’t my situation this time. No, I just wasn’t brimming over with uncontrollable turn-on. Don’t get me wrong, what she was doing to me was yummy. Just doing what she was doing to me for a while would have been satisfying all by itself.

Still I wanted more.

So I started to consciously expand my pleasure balloon using breath, sound, movement, and pelvic muscle contractions.  And as it grew after a few cycles the excitement, it naturally spread up my body.

At first it felt like streamers of sexual charge filling my central channel. We call that the “inner flute,” the energy conduit that connects the chakra centers from the base of the spine to the top of the head.

As my pleasure balloon expanded, the streamers in my inner flute felt like billiard balls of titillation shooting up from my jewels. It felt so good that I kept pumping the energy being generated in my jewels upwards.

After a few of these cycles, it happened. The streamers blossomed out of my inner flute and I started sizzling and shaking everywhere. When I feel every one of my cells coming, I know I’m having a full-body orgasm.

So I detonated one after the other until I collapsed in a hot sweet sweat. Now that’s what I call real sex.

Love, Somraj

 

The O-Zone: Enjoying Nearly An Hour of One-Minute Orgasms (X-Rated)

My vajra (penis) was having an awesome time stroking in and out of her yoni (vagina). So good that I was dancing on the verge of orgasm for minutes at a time.

That’s different than edging where you repeatedly approach the brink of coming but back down. When you dance on the verge you don’t back off much. You stay on the edge of the cliff continuously. And it feels great.

After a resounding shared peak of ecstasy, she relaxed for a moment and said “Would you like me to fuck you?” She was referring to using my favorite vibrating butt plug in my asshole. But her real meaning was “I want you to make me come now.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said, and then added “I’m gonna use James Harrison because I’m teetering on the edge of ejaculating and don’t want to come.” I was referring to her favorite extra large vibrating dildo. Her pet name for James comes from her favorite football player, #92 of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The alter ego of the once definsive player of the year did his magic in no time. At least until my dog came to investigate and distracted her from making it last even longer. But it was a great “rolling thunder” kind of climax all the same.

Then, gladly, it was my turn to receive. I was still pretty hard even after washing the water-based lube off my vajra. I much prefer oil-based lube for the handjob that I love while getting fucked. Then it stays slippery much longer so I don’t have to break to reapply.

Then her little finger started to meander around my rosebud. Because she lubed it so well, it just slipped right in. And those sensitive tissues shuddered in delight.

You know, there was a time not too long ago when even a little finger in my butt would have been painful.  But, with lots of healing and regular practice, I cleaned out all my tight-assed resistance so now I can fully relax and enjoy anal play.

What a godsend!

I gotta admit her fingers inside me were instantly intoxicating. It only took a few thrusts for me to reach a pleasure peak which started me shaking and moaning. A few of those waves were all I needed to start vibrating all over.

Then (slowly) she put the Lust in. That’s the name of my favorite toy, a curved vibrating butt plug made by Lelo. When its bulgy end passes my sphincters, it sure feels big. But after it slides all the way in, it’s the greatest thing ever to hit my prostate.

 As she ramped up fucking me with my Lust, I started peaking higher and higher. It’s like I was being blown from wavetop to wave top of excitement.

That’s what launched my plateauing phase. When your excitement at the top of the peak doesn’t subside, you’re plateauing. The high level of turn-on stays high for 10, 20, 30 seconds or more.

When you relax enough, the orgasmic energy starts streaming all over throughout every part of your body. Then it’s not only your jewels (genitals) filling with blood and spasming, it’s happening everywhere. My body undulates, my pelvic muscles are contracting and releasing, and I’m bellowing at the top of my lungs. Which I couldn’t do without the incredibly deep breathing I’m pushing to the limit.

If this sounds like an orgasm, I agree. But it’s triggered by the flood of orgasmic energy rather than stimulating your body’s erogenious zones.  Well, to be honest, it’s not one or the other. A monumental physical climax releases waves of energy. And intense waves of energy trigger pelvic contractions.

So it’s like a coming continuously. Which is why we call it the Orgasm Zone, or O-Zone, for short.

These plateaus sure feel awesome like every cell is coming. But it can also be quite draining. Breath, muscles, and nerves are all working overtime on top of each plateau of ecstasy. Maybe when I was younger and fitter I could have maintained that sexual high for longer. Now it seems that 30 seconds to a minute on the plateau is all I can handle physically. Even when my libido is still boiling, sometimes my body needs a rest. So I take a few seconds coming down, relax with a few deep breaths, and start that yummy climb again.

After a few 60 to 90 second phenomenal energy orgasms with breaks in between, I settled into a one-minute orgasmic cycle that went on and on. I was so turned-on that all it took was five to ten seconds of stroking to detonate each new energy orgasm.  I’d writhe and shake and bellow for 30 seconds before letting go. Then I’d relax and slide down the backend of the plateau of pleasure for a few seconds. With the little pause before I had to have more, each cycle lasted about a minute.

I think I rode this particular wave of bliss for maybe 15 minutes. I can’t remember spending that long in the O-Zone before.

From the outside, energy orgasms are nearly indistinguishable from physical ones. Everything happens to your voice and metabolism and sensations except for the pubic spasms that cause guys to ejaculate. These crescendos feel awesome and it’s so much easier for me to recharge in a few seconds. Then I can enjoy ten or twenty of them in a row. I can’t do that without waiting hours or days after I ejaculate.

Does it make sense that I’m pretty much a dedicated dyed-in-the-wool full-0n O-Zone junkie? Once you learn how to keep your whole body at such a high crescendo of ecstasy for so long, you might be, too.

Even as I cycled up and down from peak arousal, it seemed my sex drive continued to rise. The few-second breaks allowed by libido to refuel my body’s energy tanks. Maybe that’s why I was able to keep plateauing for nearly 40 minutes non-stop. Well except for sliding up and down those delicious waves of intoxicating sensation.

I think I’m going back for more today.

Love, Somraj

P.S. If you want to learn how to maintain such phenomenal pleasure plateaus, I suggest you download our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making by clicking here.

A New Kind of Blended Simultaneous Orgasm (X-Rated)

We had so much fun playing in the crack a few days ago that when we started rolling around on the bed naked last night, we wanted to try it again. (You can read my earlier post titled Sliding Up and Down That Alluring Crack by clicking here.)

Again, it was really hot. But I have to admit to some ignorance about what my vajra’s head (Tantric for penis) was really doing at each moment. The photographer of the picture at the left certainly could tell much easier than me. Of course, my bulging crown was massaging from her perineum (between her backdoor and yoni, her vulva), across her vestibule (the soft sensitive area between her inner lips), over yoni’s mouth, and across her clio (clitoris). 

But it’s really hard to see what my vajra is rubbing when my pelvis is pressed up against her butt like in the image at the right.

Fortunately, we’re not shy about asking and reporting what’s going on while we’re making love. Once when she thought vajra’s head was aiming for her backdoor, she murmured “not now.” And another time when I pushed as far down as I could she couldn’t help sighing “Oh, clio loves that.”

When we’re dillying and dallying without an agenda, I suppose it doesn’t matter much as long as it feels good. But when she started pushing back each time vajra’s head passed across what I rightly guessed was yoni’s opening, aiming became more important. Fortunately, my unshy passionate lover simply reached under her pelvis and used my tool to penetrate herself.

I couldn’t miss that she really wanted it. Well, so did I.

We had so much fun undulating and peaking against each other like these ancient Tantric lovers at the left. And reaching higher plateaus with delicious convulsions. We call that involuntary jerking and shaking “streaming” because it’s caused by tidal waves of sexual energy flooding our bodies. Also it helps spread the excitement from my crotch all over my body so I don’t come too soon.

Since it was dinnertime and the dogs needed their evening walk, we didn’t go for a longie of an hour or more. I could tell that she wanted to explode in orgasm before she finished. As I explained in my Female Orgasm, What’s A Trained Man Got To Do With It? post, at some level it’s up to her to decide when she wants to go for it. So she got clio’s favorite little vibrator and guided me to stroke at the depth, angle, and speed that was most titillating.

I’m usually pretty good at timing when I climax. But her yoni muscles are so strong that her orgasmic contractions are too much for me sometimes. I had ejaculated a few days before so even though I was super sensitive I wasn’t ready for a wet orgasm so soon. At my age even once a week can sap my sexual stamina and affect my hardness when we’re craving a longie. So I flowed with her gyrations and rising turn-on while avoiding squirting prematurely.

She really doesn’t like it if I stop or pull out when she’s coming. I can dig it. Nobody wants their rising tidal wave of ecstasy to be short-circuited.

So as she started to climax, I continued the stroking scheme that helped her over the top. I had to use everything I learned that’s in my first ebook, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery. Though there are lots of physical techniques that help a man bypass premature ejaculation, the real power lies in channeling sexual energy away from vajra’s most sensitive erogenous zones. If you do enough of that, your whole body fills with intense orgasmic excitement. Which is what triggers full-body orgasms.

That’s what happened to me. While she was coming I had a full-body Tantric energy orgasm without squirting. I was shrieking right along with her as our bodies shook, shuddered, and jackknifed together.

Funny, but I unconsciously assumed that simultaneous orgasm was when both partners had the same kind of orgasm. There’s a whole spectrum of them, you know. But that was a silly assumption.

She had a physical explosive one and I had an energetic one at the same time. And we both loved it.

Love, Somraj