X-Rated

Full-Body Erections: He and She Both Need One for Satisfying Sexual Penetration and All 12 Types of Orgasm (X-Rated)

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As a teenager and a younger man, any swish of a shapely butt would make me hard. Now that I’m a sexy senior citizen, my schwing reflex isn’t as reliable. But when I’m erect, that super sensitivity is still ultra wonderful.

My female lovers tell me that they experience much the same thing.

Wait, did I just say that women get erections?

Yes, I did. Now they may not be as visible from the outside as when a guy’s love tool reaches for the sky. But feminine jewels (genitals) undergo much the same arousal process as male ones.

I’m talking about the turn-on process. When any body gets excited, the spongey tissues down there fill with blood which makes them hotter, darker, and more flushed. Scientists call jewels that are swollen this way “engorged” or “tumesced.”

A penis becomes erect when its three inner cylinders whose names begin with “spongiosum” fill with blood. There’s an artistic softie on the right.

I don’t have to explain that a guy’s organ needs to be somewhat engorged to get hard enough for sexual penetration. It’s pretty difficult to cram a floppy noodle into a deep cavity, right? (Let’s not forget, however, that there are still lots of fun things to do with it.)

The Edge of Wetness

What may not be as obvious is that a woman’s yoni (vagina) needs to be sufficiently tumesced to enjoy jewel union (sexual intercourse). Check out the before and after pictures at the left for some idea of what I’m talking about.

One way to tell is how wet her yoni gets. If she’s not turned-on enough to be lubricated, dry sexual stroking won’t be pleasurable. In fact in can be downright painful. But due to age, medications, and physical condition, some women don’t lubricate regardless of how aroused they are. To deal with that, we’ve found our favorite water-based lube that we buy in cases and always keep at hand.

Johnny Carson used to do a skit regularly called “The Edge Of Wetness.” You couldn’t depend on those jokes to be wet either.

Since feminine wetness isn’t totally predictable, we all need a better indicator of the feminine erection. Sheri Winston, in her great book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, calls this the “cuff.” That’s a snug, swollen, puffy, sensitive sleeve that surrounds yoni’s mouth when fully erect. Does the picture at the right give you an idea of a what this puffy sleeve looks like before penetration? It’s the cuff that molds around and squeezes a male erection (or a finger or toy) inserted inside.

The tissue that forms the cuff is actually a spongy network extending all throughout a woman’s groin. That includes her outer and inner lips, several deep parts of her clio (clitoris), her G-Spot, and other erectile tissues in and around her yoni.

Here’s how we described in our latest ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making…

The whole women’s web (WWW) is an integrated matrix of linked, excitable, erogenous zones within and around a woman’s jewels. When tumesced, these organs work together to create a “cuff” on all sides of yoni’s mouth. In its puffy erect state, the cuff is a snug, swollen, sensitive sleeve that surrounds and squeezes anything that’s inserted. Though elastic, it’s firmer and much more “grabby” than yoni’s mouth when unaroused. Until it’s plump and engorged, entry isn’t pleasurable. That’s why getting only one or two parts of the WWW excited limits a woman’s opportunity for passion, orgasm, and ecstasy.

To enjoy long passionate orgasmic sex and enjoy all twelve orgasms, it’s essential for the WWW to be fully aroused, engorged, and tumesced. In order to prevent premature penetration, make sure yoni’s cuff is fully erect first. That’s the only way to know for sure that you’re being invited inside.

Just like a male hard-on, a fully plump female cuff is essential to enjoy all twelve types of orgasms.

What About The Rest Of The Body?

 You can have lots of fun playing with male or female jewels without an erection. How else can we enjoy foreplay to get our privates ready for more vigorous action?

But the scope of this article is bigger than that, namely, the whole body.

OK, I admit that whole bodies are already filled with blood and aren’t likely to get more engorged without a major transfusion (joke). What I’m referring to here is the skin flush, goosebumps, and other manifestations of excitement.

A full-body erection is when you feel those same sensations all over.

In other words, after your jewels get erect you can spread those delicious feelings and get even more turned-on. Sexual arousal may start from some sort of sensual touch and trigger the brain to activate the arousal that feels so good. But it’s sexual energy that we’re actually feeling.

In Long Hot Tantric Love Making we define sexual energy as…

The electromagnetic lifeforce in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm.
Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations.

It’s the energy that causes a jewel erection. But when it collects in non-spongy tissues like your torso, legs, or head, it still feels like an erection.

So to have a full-body erection all you need to do is generate a lot of sexual energy and spread it all over. If you’re healthy, a robust sex drive is natural. When your libido is prompting you to play, getting turned-on should be easy.

All that’s left is to charge all your limbs, organs, cells, and every inch of your skin with sexual energy.

My previous blog post, The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy, explained how to expand the energy out of your jewels to fill your whole body.

Of course, an explosive orgasm usually drains this vital essence before you can stretch it out of your jewels. That’s why the art and science of full-body erections begins with delaying orgasm. The article referenced above explains how to edge and dance on the verge so you won’t come before your whole body is vibrating with sexual energy.

Why Bother?

I would think it obvious if jewel erections feel good that you’d want more of it more places. If you don’t yet belong to the cult of perpetual pleasure, you might want to consider joining. No registration fees, no rules, no mandatory meetings. Just make the passion grow and last with yourself and with a lover.

Without doing this, you’ll probably have difficulty enjoying all twelve types of orgasms. And it goes without say that without a full-body erection having full-body orgasms is pretty unlikely.

Love, Somraj

Tantric Masturbation: What Happens Outside Looks Much The Same, But What Happens Inside Is Way Different (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj


Sexologists like me — and lots of normal people — believe that masturbation is good. It feels good, it’s good for your body and mind, and it’s the ultimate in safe sex. And when you’re climbing the walls, it’s a great way to relax. Plus it’s always close at hand.

If you’re in a relationship, it can be very educational when you use masturbation to improve your sex life. Doing yourself is a great way to learn what you need and shows you what you need to teach your partner.

Orgasms are a use-it-or-lose-it kind of ability for those who don’t come so easily.

If you haven’t tried doing it in front of each other, you have a fun experience ahead. One study showed that 85% of people masturbate while in relationship. So I suggest that a major part of embracing a fully sex-positive attitude is accepting that masturbation is a healthy and natural part of life.

Besides, those of us who enjoy getting themselves off aren’t likely to stop anytime soon. It seems to me better if we learn to make peace with it.

I’ve Enjoyed It Many Ways

As a youngster — and by that I mean from my teenage years until 50 — I did it a lot. More than daily at first and several times a week as I aged. And a lot of ways and in lots of places. Outside in nature was my favorite. And still is on my top-five list.

Being a young male without any sex education, my aim was release. You know, to relieve the pressure of lust preying on my otherwise brilliant, objective, and superior mind. For a while at least I was more able to treat people I found attractive with some degree of appropriate respect and maturity.

Oh, and so I didn’t get blue balls.

Yeah, I’ve always had a real strong sex drive. It was like a river during spring flood carrying me with it. And because I didn’t know any other way of coping, sometimes it was like an irresistible tsunami.

Sure, I felt a little embarrassed and guilty about my habit. But I didn’t think I had a problem or was particularly perverted. I just had this urge and found a private way to deal with it.

Then I found Tantra. If you’re unfamiliar with this ancient spiritual philosophy, just think of it as a way to accept yourself — your soul, mind, body, and sexuality — fully. Basically, Tantra is a bunch of practices beginning with meditation and breathing designed to help you harness your lifeforce energy. And, of course, when you’re horny there’s lots of energy alive within you that’s jerking you around looking for an outlet.

Transmute Your Sexual Desires?

You might expect a guru (not me) to advocate that you use spiritual practices to transmute your sexual desires into higher consciousness. Yogis have done it for millennia. Well, that’s a wonderful prescription if it works for you.

But all too often putting advice like this into action results in suppressing your innate erotic energy flows. Not good! Trying to dam the powerful current of libido usually fails. And with nowhere to go, the unreleased energy does cause perversions: unwanted sexual advances, damaging abuse, and traumatic violence.

This is not what the creator had in mind when endowing us with our natural sex drives. I firmly believe if even the weirdos amongst us had healthier sex lives the world would be much safer for women and children.

Now, even at 70, I make love a lot. With more longies than quickies. With more enduring pleasure than rushing headlong to ejaculation. With my Tantric training, I’ve learned to let the sexual tidal wave carry me to higher planes of satisfaction typically without a wet orgasm.

I guess I could say that I’ve made peace with my robust erotic current. I let it infuse me with vitality, joy, and creativity. It makes my life richer and more fun than when I was trying to repress my naturally sexy state.

Self-Pleasuring With The Emphasis On “Pleasure”

These days when I have sexual urges, desires, and fantasies, I self-pleasure. OK, from the outside that looks just like masturbation. But from the inside it’s different.

Tantric self-pleasuring doesn’t rush me headlong towards getting myself off and relieving the pressure as quickly as possible. Instead, it’s about giving myself pleasure. Long-lasting, more intense pleasure than I ever got from a quick squirt.

Some call it self-love. That’s a popular concept in new-age spiritual thought. Certainly, making myself feel good by playing with my body demonstrates that I love myself. But even more, it’s about being fully alive. Regulating, condemning, and going to war against my sexual nature always made me feel worse.

Today I use the easily recharged reservoir of sexual energy to keep myself young, fit, and happy.

Tantric masturbation — or self-pleasuring as I prefer to call it — is all about the energy flowing through my body. Since it’s mostly focused on my genitals, my practice raises, expands, and spreads the life-giving sensations everywhere.

In Tantra we call this “running energy.” It’s the conscious skill of infusing every cell, tissue, and system with the excitement that’s usually confined to the sex organs. Running energy makes me shiver, shudder, and shake. It feels like every cell is coming.

If you can recapture the sensory memories of how an orgasm feels, imagine those sensations lasting for minutes at a time all over. That’s my motivation for Tantric self-pleasuring.

So instead of trying to make myself ejaculate and relieve the pressure, I turn myself on and spread the excitement as long as I can. Sometimes that’s for hours, but at my age if I’m tired or achey my self-love sessions get somewhat limited.

How I Do It

There’s no Tantric magic in my personal hand-jobs. But there is in what’s going on inside.

Usually I watch my favorite brand of porn. Interestingly enough, the preferred visual fantasy seems to be a very personal choice amongst my best friends and lovers. Yes, we share even what many would consider theses most intimate privacies.

One boyfriend prefers videos of complete sex scenes. Another specializes in pictures and movies of coming. Another only gets super titillated from erotic stories.

Go figure, huh? Different strokes for different folks. Literally!

And in a different way, erotic images serve my female lovers, too. When really aroused and wanting to climax, immersing themselves mentally in one of their favorite fantasies often does the trick. That’s probably why there’s such a groundswell of interest in kinky role-playing these days, largely the result of the popularity of the 50 Shades Of Grey books and movies.

My preference is pictures or short animated clips of penetrative sex. Yes, the sexy bodies and glorious private parts entice me. But his erect tool entering her jade garden (that’s the ancient Chinese euphemism for the pussy) is my favorite.

You might ask how we all gravitate towards our favorite images. For me, it’s simple. How does it make me feel? Sometimes one configuration of a couple’s bodies does nothing for me while another one that’s not much different floats my cork big time.

That means it shoots streamers of sexual electricity inside and fills me with that delightful erotic magnetism. So to decide what I want to look at while I’m stroking myself, all I need to do recognize is how much energy is flowing inside me.

How Real Is It?

Recently I’ve noticed that some images actually make me feel like I’m penetrating that lover on my computer screen.

In other words, the experience of watching porn while self-pleasuring simulates the sensations of actual sex. It doesn’t seem to be as intense or last as long, so I’m not advocating doing away with making love with a real-life orgasmic partner.

But when I can realistically imagine what making love with that pornstar actually feels like, I thoroughly enjoy myself. Does my this fantasy world in my head make me lust after them? Well, yes, of course. But I view it as a consensual fantasy. They wouldn’t broadcast pictures of their bodies if they didn’t expect them to be used this way.

So what is Tantric masturbation all about, then? My aim is to make myself feel the supreme bliss that is everyone’s inherent birthright.

Hopefully this explains why Tantric self-pleasuring is a vital part of my spiritual practice. If I wasn’t proud of what I’ve developed, would I be sharing this so openly with you?

May you openly make peace with your own masturbation style and find a healthy way to infuse your life with such ecstasy.

Love, Somraj

Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks: How to Use Them to Trigger Different Kinds of Orgasms (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

We had a great 12 hour sex party with a favorite girlfriend and a favorite boyfriend yesterday. We’re so close and trusting and intimate that the ecstasy and the laughter was life-altering.

And I learned even more about what happens with sexual energy during peaking. That’s the sudden ascent followed by the sudden descent of your turn-on. I’ve been studying pleasure peaks lately and just wrote what I thought was the definitive guide here. But we all had so many of them that I couldn’t help seeing deeper into what happens.

Even all being so turned on, we started out without many sharp, jarring peaks. I’m not just talking about first penetration. In our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric LoveMaking we devote a whole chapter to initial entry because it’s so critical to create an energetic connection before the action heats up. Yes, I’m referring to when his vajra (penis) first enters her yoni (vagina).

Sometimes the first strokes create off-the-charts sexual electricity. But yesterday we weren’t in any hurry and found the first few minutes enjoyable but not explosive. When you’re Tantrically-trained as we all are, we can devote a long time to savoring the delicious sensations without rushing.

Then the first pleasure spike hit me. Because I was so relaxed, I could see the sexual energy blossoming in vajra’s head as my excitement rose. After a few up-down cycles driven by many in-out cycles, I noticed the blossoming energy created a current. I could call it a flow of sexual electricity or use many other poetic images. But simply I could feel this hot buzzing sensation pulsing the end of my love tool. That was way real, not just some artistic reference or scientific factoid.

As our lovemaking continued, the sexual charge intensified. What I was feeling was more heat spreading down my shaft and into my G-Spot (prostate gland). When more energy infused my prostate, the tops of the peaks felt like bursts of fire in this orgasm-central gland. Undoubtedly it’s these intense G-Spot bursts that make many men come before they want to.

It occurred to me that some pleasure peaks are more physical in nature while others are more energetic. Of course, it’s sexual energy that creates all the great feelings of any kind of sex anywhere around the body. But what I’ve just described is what happens when you stimulate physical erogenous zones. In other words, hit the physical trigger and for sure you’ll generate sexual energy.

I wondered if some sexual peaks are triggered by energy first. I was sure this had happened to me a lot when I wasn’t paying much attention to these erotic physics. Sex can be way distracting, right? So I decided to play with the dense charge that the sexual strokes was creating. That was partly because the excitement in my vajra at the top of the peaks was getting too close to comfort. I needed to do something to prevent myself from ejaculating prematurely.

What I chose to do was spread the excitement up the central channel from my crotch to my heart. To do that I consciously used the 5 cruxes of ecstasy (breath, sound, movement, presence, and visualization) described in that previous blog post. (It’s entitled The 5 S’s of Peaking: Mastering the Ups and Downs of Your Sexual Energy.) At the next peak I felt a flare of sexual energy shoot up my body. After a couple more energy flares, my whole body started to tingle and vibrate like my cockhead alone did moments before.

These were peaks triggered by me intentionally moving energy, not just from sexual friction around my most sensitive pleasure spots.

By the way, spreading energy upwards like this is the secret to having full-body orgasms. Even though it wasn’t a full-blown climax this time, that’s what it felt like to my body. Have you ever found that what you were sharing felt so good that you never wanted it to stop? Sure you have. Well, that’s where I was.

After what seemed like nearly forever I noticed my sweetie making those sharp breaths and jerky movements that signals she’s close. I don’t know if this is your experience, but it’s much easier to get her close to coming than push her over the edge. So I thought I’d see if the high-voltage sexual charge in my vajra would help.

I visualized that the dense energy in vajra’s head started sending off sparks and bursts and flares into her yoni. Her reaction was instantaneous. One of the truly wonderful things about my beloved is that she wears her arousal on her sleeve. Sorry, bad idiom, as we were both naked. What I mean is that she makes how she’s feeling crystal clear. So there was no doubt in my mind that she was jolted by the streams of energy I was shooting into her yoni.

Sometimes we can hover on the edge of a Big O for many minutes. You know, approaching the brink and them inexplicably backing off. But not this time. I think all it took was two deep strokes of my vajra while it streamed sexual electricity. Suddenly she started to come. So I followed one of the 17 Orgasm Principles laid out in our new ebook. Namely, I didn’t change a thing. I maintained the same stroke speed, depth, angle, and pressure. And I kept directing energy bursts inside her.

Would you agree that my experiment was successful? I used sexual energy to trigger a resounding pleasure peak powerful enough to call it an explosive orgasm.

I’m really looking forward to more experiments soon. Once we both recover from yesterday’s marathon.

Love, Somraj

Fuckstasy and 69: Passionate Orgasms Stem More From Following Than Leading (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

My girlfriend and I had a sweet and sexy reunion with an old boyfriend who returned to play with us after a breakup. The three of us have been heart-connected for many years. He joined us Friday night after breaking up with his now-ex-girlfriend who was decidedly monogamous. Different strokes, right? He proposed and later confirmed that a three-way romp would provide the cleanest closure so he could move past grieving.

Though we spent hours talking and connecting platonically, when we got around to sex many of our old turn-ons for each other came back organically. I was strongly reminded of how lovely threesomes are when the two same-gendered people are bisexual. In this case, two men with a woman. Or when there are two women with one man (one of my favorites, I freely admit). As Kim pointed out at the SexPositive Reno presentation about Ethical Non-Monogamy last Monday, otherwise it’s a V. That means the two men are at the top of the V only connected with the woman at the bottom point. Or vice versa. Don’t get me wrong, taking turns can be super erotic when watching is a turn-on for everyone involved. But the three-way energy connection when we’re each into touching each other (and more) provides its own special gifts.

When we finally crashed after midnight, we were hoping to conserve our energy for a long day of play starting early Saturday morning. Unfortunately — no, correct that — fortunately, she and I couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Our tired lovemaking was slow and sweet and delicious. So yummy that I fell asleep in a profound state of “fuckstasy.” You may not have heard that word before because I made it up while her jewels (genitals) kept insisting on mine sliding in and out of hers. Our fucking created such intense ecstasy that I coined the term fuckstasy.

Have you been there recently? I sure hope so.

Turns out the erotic evening and sleepy coupling served as the perfect foreplay for our twelve-hour one-on-one date the next day after our boyfriend left. When we started up again about noon, we were more relaxed than usual. If you’ve read any of my Tantra articles or books, you know how vital
relaxation is for running energy. That’s our slang term for the feeling of consciously streaming sexual excitement through your body.

Even after 15 years, not only could we not keep our hands off of each other, we couldn’t keep our mouths off of each other. 69, mutual oral sex, seemed to the perfect way to start up again. As the excitement built, it cascaded through our bodies in stronger and stronger pulses. One of the best things about 69 for energy-sensitive lovers is that it creates a complete circle. The sexual electricity streamed up my body from my cock (with her mouth around it) and sparked off my tongue into her pussy. The current from her pussy up her body through her heart to her mouth completed the circuit.

I’ve written many times earlier about how important open forthright communication is to sexual pleasure. Specifically, last year she gave me a little  course about what her clio (clitoris) prefers: soft and slow and slippery. Right, even after all this time, I still needed (and need) training to please her in some new moments. So, being the dedicated student I am, I was gentle though creative with her growing pearl.

And patient. My goddess, we already had great fun the night before and had the whole day and night ahead of us. So I was in no hurry. As she explained later, that is one critical factor in her ability to orgasm. When she’s worried that it’s taking too long, or she’s thinking that her partner wants her to reciprocate, she can’t sink into her own pleasure and explode over the top. I was having so much fun from licking her and being sucked that I could have gone on much longer than the thirty minutes we were so engaged.

And while we’re discussing female orgasms, it’s important to recognize that they often take many times longer than male ones. Sometimes up to an hour or more. But frankly that wasn’t my purpose. Tantric lovemaking isn’t goal oriented. The electromagnetism circling between us was so satisfying that I didn’t want it to end too soon.

At one point, maybe twenty minutes into our 69ing, she simply said “suck it.” I knew she wanted my mouth providing suction and bouncing up and down on her clio. That was more vigorous than my earlier training indicated, but I readily complied. There was no doubt that she asked for the right thing. It was obvious because she started vibrating and breathing and moaning so much more strongly.

Which raises another point about feminine climaxes. It’s hard to make a woman come who doesn’t know her own body, her most potent erogenous triggers, and her proven pathways to orgasm. That’s why we always urge and encourage all women to self-pleasure regularly. Plus it’s like exercise. They need to keep their sexual muscles toned and ready for the onslaught of tidal waves of pleasure. Because my girlfriend is so active, she knows her body and its response intimately. So when she asked for sucking, I knew I was being guided by the foremost authority on her own excitement.

With the mutual sucking 69 we were both getting even hotter than we’d been before. I could feel the sexual energy more intensely in my cock which made me wail and flail, moan and groan. Did you ever hear of a “hummer?” That’s when a lover hums while giving oral sex. The term is usually applied to blowjobs, but in this case she couldn’t help but feel my sound vibrations directly invading her clio.

Later she told me how much it turns her on when a man shows his turn-on without holding back. Us guys may be culturally programmed to be taciturn and insensitive like John Wayne. But that’s not me. Tantra training has helped me to fully feel and express my passion. When I’m in an energy circle like 69, I know I have to keep up my end of the bargain. The more energy we both generate, release, and reveal, the stronger the synergy.

I really didn’t know where we were heading up to this point. Remember, I was so blissed out from the night before that I wasn’t the least bit rushing. But when she said “harder” I figured the end was in sight. How many times have I mistimed my ejaculation mistakenly expecting the woman I was fucking was on the brink? Again, her simple assertiveness saved me from having to try to figure out where she was at.

As instructed, I kept doing what I was doing, just harder. And the room began to glow, and the walls began to shimmer, and her body seemed to levitate. It didn’t happen all at once, but in stages. A little louder, a little more shaking, a little more intense energy flow. And then more, and then more. Kind of like Led Zeppelin’s super-hit “Stairway To Heaven” that Jimmy Page calls “that fucking wedding song.”

Did you ever wonder or say “did you come yet?” to your playmate? No need for that this time. The explosive climax shook us and the bed. I held on to her butt cheeks for dear life. I think my cock fell out of her mouth (fortunately) so she could scream at the top of her lungs. And it kept going on and on, changing in colors and flavors and textures, as it bounced off the walls and ceiling, rattled the windows, and freaked out our four dogs. (Well not too much, they’re kind of used to it.)

This was not the first time that I was humbled by such an experience. Not the first time I realized any self-image of me being a good lover is dwarfed by the truth that I wasn’t leading or in charge. Rather, I followed her to her climax. I listened, observed, and paid attention to what her body was doing and what she knew she wanted. Like so many macho guys, sometimes I can’t help suffering from feeling that I know it all. It takes this kind of ascent to a woman’s orgasm to disabuse me of my hubris. Sure, I feel fantastic having done my part. But if I have any ego left in the whole affair, my pride is centered around being willing to let her direct me and my willingness to follow.

Women, may you take more charge in bed. And men, may you have the strength of character to surrender to her pleasure while putting your ego aside.

Love, Somraj

Hitting The Right Spot: Triggering a Big O by Targeting A Woman’s Shallow Erogenous Zones (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

If you want more orgasmic sex, it helps to hit the right spot. Or more specifically, it helps to excite erogenous zones like the G-Spot. Those are areas of the body particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation. 

Our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making describes how to take full advantage of a woman’s ten outer and nine inner pleasure spots. You can read all about them in our earlier blog post Tantra Newsletter: 19 Women’s Erogenous Zones – Part 1.

Though true, it’s a gross oversimplification to say that the jewels (genitals) are erogenous zones. Sure, playing with a guy’s vajra (penis) will usually turn him on. But if you know how to fondle, stroke, and lick his cock’s five specific erogenous zones, you’ll be even more indispensable to him. I’m referring to the head, crown, frenulum, shaft, and base. Soon I’ll add an article detailing all of these and more.

Yes, there are more. But a savvy male lover also knows how to us those five penile erogenous zones while thrusting inside his female playmate’s yoni (vagina). My January blog post entitled Intersecting Erogenous Zones focused on the deeper orgasmic trigger spots inside a woman. These are three areas at the upper end of the yoni around the cervix. 

But last night we had an amazing encounter with my sweetheart’s shallower ones.

We had just had a talk about the unique characteristics of Eddie’s prick. He was the male partner of a couple we met many years ago at a sacred sexuality workshop and played with one fun night. Eddie’s vajra was rather thin but long and boney. Plus he was very astute about hitting the right spots with it. Especially her cul-de-sac. This is the erogenous zone past the cervix at the deepest point inside the yoni. When he prodded her there, she let out some of the most memorable shrieks. Memorable enough that we both remember the intense experience.

Now my vajra is long enough to reach her cul-de-sac when I’m super hard. But otherwise the head of my cock can be a bit spongy which apparently doesn’t prod that deep crevice in the best possible way. Last night, though, during jewel union (sexual intercourse) my erection excelled at boniness. So I made it a point to slide past her cervix into her cul-de-sac quite often. I knew each time I did because I heard those memorable shrieks.

Of course, that’s not the only sexual stroke I used. Women have taught me that variety always tops monotony. Unless they’re at a pleasure peak and want to go over the top.
But we weren’t there yet. We were having so much fun as I shifted from one kind of thrust to another, from one stroking pattern to another. (There are chapters in Long Hot Tantric Love Making that present the whole story about all those things in illustrated detail.)

Oddly enough, one sort of shallow stroke was evoking a strong reaction, too. A loud and jackknifing one. So I played with it a little more, shifting from deep long strokes to short  jabs around yoni’s mouth.

As I changed angle, depth, speed, and pressure to target different spots, I realized rubbing her outlet was really turning her on.

“Outlet” is the name we use for what’s scientifically named the “urethral meatus.” It’s the opening of the tube that conducts urine out of the body from the bladder. The outlet lies on the top side of yoni’s mouth, usually just a bit inside the vaginal canal.

Because it’s highly sensitive, it’s a shame the outlet doesn’t get more of the attention it deserves. You see, it’s intimately connected with a woman’s G-Spot. Well, actually that’s a misnomer. What colloquially is called the G-Spot isn’t just one fixed spot. It actually refers to a whole series of little glands and ducts in the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra. As a result, the whole area on the upper wall of the yoni can be aroused, awakened, and engorged producing unique and powerful sexual satisfaction.

But we’re focusing here on another erogenous zone, the outlet. Well, OK, the spongy tissue deemed the G-Spot extends into the outlet itself. So you might say it’s all part and parcel of the same pleasure organ. However you define it, massaging the outlet feels damn good to many women. Some adventuresome sorts even like something small and well-lubed — like a very gentle little finger — inserted a bit. Just be super clean and careful if you want to try this. Mistreatment can cause painful inflammation and damage.

There wasn’t any risk with what I was doing with my cockhead. No, the more I returned there, the more spectacular were her responses. After experimenting I found that her favorite in these moments were one to two inch strokes with crown of vajra’s head pressing firmly just inside yoni’s mouth.

That’s when her breathing changed in that special way that alerts me to her being close.

If you’ve read of my other articles or blog posts, you know that I always choose longies over quickies. It feels so good I just don’t want it to end. But, hey, after 15 minutes I got an offer I couldn’t refuse. “If you make me come, I’ll do you for as long as I can.”

So instead of switching things up, I kept up that short outlet stroke going continuously. She had several pleasure peaks which rose in intensity. Then to speed things up, she added just a little clitoral vibration from her favorite sex toy, the Pocket Rocket.

Wow, the explosion from her Big O was monumental. It was an intense, long, loud, shaking one. Yoni’s sphincter convulsed so strongly that I was hard pressed to keep the identical stroke going without being forcefully expelled. Trust me, she doesn’t like her orgasm interrupted with premature withdrawal.

And the aftershock was mind-blowing, too. We had been making love in the Scissors Position, her on her back and me on my side with my legs under her spread-open ones. When she put her legs together as the contractions subsided, it triggered another climax. Now when we stay connected and relax after an orgasm, it’s natural for the expanding sexual energy to spur one or two mini-orgasmic spasms. But this massive one was off the charts.

It’s an extra special good time when she gets two for the price of one.

But I believe there’s a more important moral to the story. I’m not savvy enough to figure out what to give her each time for maximum satisfaction. It changes so much I just can’t predict what will happen next time. What I do instead is follow her energy. I test, listen, experiment, watch and do more of what makes her crazy.

Well, gotta go. We have another wild time planned.

May you have as much fun as we do.

Love, Somraj

I Came First, But She Liked It (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

As a male Tantric lover, I’m trained that she comes first. Many times.

In our date yesterday though, I came first.

Not necessarily the way you’re thinking. I didn’t ejaculate, I had a Tantric Energy Orgasm.

That’s when I have all the physical delights of an orgasm — exquisite sensations, goose bumps all over, heavy breathing, jackknifing body, loud moans, heat waves, and, oh I almost forgot, mesmerizing genital contractions — all without squirting.

Sometimes they’re quickies with the same few-second duration as a wet climax. Yet, often they last for 20, 30, or 60 seconds or more. And repeat one after the other for as long as I’ve got the physical stamina.

An hour of Tantric Energy Orgasms is great fun. Though sometimes are sessions are shorter (and on a good day even longer), even a few of these peaks of pleasure are highly satisfying.

In any case, back to my main point, I came first. This was the first time making love in a few days due to a little flu. So I was ultra sensitive even before our date.
Back scratching made me squeal and squirm into an early trance-like state. I returned the favor until she asked me to massage her yoni (vagina) with vajra’s (penis) head. One of our favorite forms of foreplay even when I’m not fully erect. But this time I was way hard.

It was instantly electric for both of us. Geysers of erotic energy shot up throughout both of our bodies. And this was before even a hint of penetration.

When my vajra first entered her yoni’s mouth, the internal fireworks were even more spectacular. Fortunately, slow and gradual initial entry is an essential discipline of our coupling style. In fact, there’s a whole chapter about it in our new ebook, Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

It just took a few measured strokes halfway in to make it happen. I’m talking about my Tantric Energy Orgasm. I just started vibrating inside as the sexual energy blossomed out of my crotch and filled every corner of me.

As much as I study these things, I wish I knew exactly why I let myself come first this time. Sure, I was way horny and just a little high. But I’m so much more patient than ever before, concentrating on my honey’s ascent first.

In retrospect, it was probably my relaxing. Relaxation is the key, the primary catalyst, to harnessing, spreading, and exchanging orgasmic energy. Since I was still weak from being sick, we had this tacit agreement that she would do all the heavy lifting and I would take it easy. So as my vajra entered her warm, wet cave, I had no goal, no agenda, no role to perform. I just surrendered to how good it felt and let go.

No worries. Then I was able to pay more attention to her series of Tantric Energy Orgasms. And then more of my own. And then more of them simultaneously.

Often we’ll end a session like this with one or both of us exploding with a physically satisfying but draining climax. But it just didn’t seem important after surfing such intense orgasmic waves.

Well, gotta go. We have another date planned for more. Yummy!

Love, Somraj

The O-Zone: Enjoying Nearly An Hour of One-Minute Orgasms (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

My vajra (penis) was having an awesome time stroking in and out of her yoni (vagina). So good that I was dancing on the verge of orgasm for minutes at a time.

That’s different than edging where you repeatedly approach the brink of coming but back down. When you dance on the verge you don’t back off much. You stay on the edge of the cliff continuously. And it feels great.

After a resounding shared peak of ecstasy, she relaxed for a moment and said “Would you like me to fuck you?” She was referring to using my favorite vibrating butt plug in my asshole. But her real meaning was “I want you to make me come now.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said, and then added “I’m gonna use James Harrison because I’m teetering on the edge of ejaculating and don’t want to come.” I was referring to her favorite extra large vibrating dildo. Her pet name for James comes from her favorite football player, #92 of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The alter ego of the once definsive player of the year did his magic in no time. At least until my dog came to investigate and distracted her from making it last even longer. But it was a great “rolling thunder” kind of climax all the same.

Then, gladly, it was my turn to receive. I was still pretty hard even after washing the water-based lube off my vajra. I much prefer oil-based lube for the handjob that I love while getting fucked. Then it stays slippery much longer so I don’t have to break to reapply.

Then her little finger started to meander around my rosebud. Because she lubed it so well, it just slipped right in. And those sensitive tissues shuddered in delight.

You know, there was a time not too long ago when even a little finger in my butt would have been painful.  But, with lots of healing and regular practice, I cleaned out all my tight-assed resistance so now I can fully relax and enjoy anal play.

What a godsend!

I gotta admit her fingers inside me were instantly intoxicating. It only took a few thrusts for me to reach a pleasure peak which started me shaking and moaning. A few of those waves were all I needed to start vibrating all over.

Then (slowly) she put the Lust in. That’s the name of my favorite toy, a curved vibrating butt plug made by Lelo. When its bulgy end passes my sphincters, it sure feels big. But after it slides all the way in, it’s the greatest thing ever to hit my prostate.

 As she ramped up fucking me with my Lust, I started peaking higher and higher. It’s like I was being blown from wavetop to wave top of excitement.

That’s what launched my plateauing phase. When your excitement at the top of the peak doesn’t subside, you’re plateauing. The high level of turn-on stays high for 10, 20, 30 seconds or more.

When you relax enough, the orgasmic energy starts streaming all over throughout every part of your body. Then it’s not only your jewels (genitals) filling with blood and spasming, it’s happening everywhere. My body undulates, my pelvic muscles are contracting and releasing, and I’m bellowing at the top of my lungs. Which I couldn’t do without the incredibly deep breathing I’m pushing to the limit.

If this sounds like an orgasm, I agree. But it’s triggered by the flood of orgasmic energy rather than stimulating your body’s erogenious zones.  Well, to be honest, it’s not one or the other. A monumental physical climax releases waves of energy. And intense waves of energy trigger pelvic contractions.

So it’s like a coming continuously. Which is why we call it the Orgasm Zone, or O-Zone, for short.

These plateaus sure feel awesome like every cell is coming. But it can also be quite draining. Breath, muscles, and nerves are all working overtime on top of each plateau of ecstasy. Maybe when I was younger and fitter I could have maintained that sexual high for longer. Now it seems that 30 seconds to a minute on the plateau is all I can handle physically. Even when my libido is still boiling, sometimes my body needs a rest. So I take a few seconds coming down, relax with a few deep breaths, and start that yummy climb again.

After a few 60 to 90 second phenomenal energy orgasms with breaks in between, I settled into a one-minute orgasmic cycle that went on and on. I was so turned-on that all it took was five to ten seconds of stroking to detonate each new energy orgasm.  I’d writhe and shake and bellow for 30 seconds before letting go. Then I’d relax and slide down the backend of the plateau of pleasure for a few seconds. With the little pause before I had to have more, each cycle lasted about a minute.

I think I rode this particular wave of bliss for maybe 15 minutes. I can’t remember spending that long in the O-Zone before.

From the outside, energy orgasms are nearly indistinguishable from physical ones. Everything happens to your voice and metabolism and sensations except for the pubic spasms that cause guys to ejaculate. These crescendos feel awesome and it’s so much easier for me to recharge in a few seconds. Then I can enjoy ten or twenty of them in a row. I can’t do that without waiting hours or days after I ejaculate.

Does it make sense that I’m pretty much a dedicated dyed-in-the-wool full-0n O-Zone junkie? Once you learn how to keep your whole body at such a high crescendo of ecstasy for so long, you might be, too.

Even as I cycled up and down from peak arousal, it seemed my sex drive continued to rise. The few-second breaks allowed by libido to refuel my body’s energy tanks. Maybe that’s why I was able to keep plateauing for nearly 40 minutes non-stop. Well except for sliding up and down those delicious waves of intoxicating sensation.

I think I’m going back for more today.

Love, Somraj

P.S. If you want to learn how to maintain such phenomenal pleasure plateaus, I suggest you download our latest ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making by clicking here.

A New Kind of Blended Simultaneous Orgasm (X-Rated)

Posted on by Somraj

We had so much fun playing in the crack a few days ago that when we started rolling around on the bed naked last night, we wanted to try it again. (You can read my earlier post titled Sliding Up and Down That Alluring Crack by clicking here.)

Again, it was really hot. But I have to admit to some ignorance about what my vajra’s head (Tantric for penis) was really doing at each moment. The photographer of the picture at the left certainly could tell much easier than me. Of course, my bulging crown was massaging from her perineum (between her backdoor and yoni, her vulva), across her vestibule (the soft sensitive area between her inner lips), over yoni’s mouth, and across her clio (clitoris). 

But it’s really hard to see what my vajra is rubbing when my pelvis is pressed up against her butt like in the image at the right.

Fortunately, we’re not shy about asking and reporting what’s going on while we’re making love. Once when she thought vajra’s head was aiming for her backdoor, she murmured “not now.” And another time when I pushed as far down as I could she couldn’t help sighing “Oh, clio loves that.”

When we’re dillying and dallying without an agenda, I suppose it doesn’t matter much as long as it feels good. But when she started pushing back each time vajra’s head passed across what I rightly guessed was yoni’s opening, aiming became more important. Fortunately, my unshy passionate lover simply reached under her pelvis and used my tool to penetrate herself.

I couldn’t miss that she really wanted it. Well, so did I.

We had so much fun undulating and peaking against each other like these ancient Tantric lovers at the left. And reaching higher plateaus with delicious convulsions. We call that involuntary jerking and shaking “streaming” because it’s caused by tidal waves of sexual energy flooding our bodies. Also it helps spread the excitement from my crotch all over my body so I don’t come too soon.

Since it was dinnertime and the dogs needed their evening walk, we didn’t go for a longie of an hour or more. I could tell that she wanted to explode in orgasm before she finished. As I explained in my Female Orgasm, What’s A Trained Man Got To Do With It? post, at some level it’s up to her to decide when she wants to go for it. So she got clio’s favorite little vibrator and guided me to stroke at the depth, angle, and speed that was most titillating.

I’m usually pretty good at timing when I climax. But her yoni muscles are so strong that her orgasmic contractions are too much for me sometimes. I had ejaculated a few days before so even though I was super sensitive I wasn’t ready for a wet orgasm so soon. At my age even once a week can sap my sexual stamina and affect my hardness when we’re craving a longie. So I flowed with her gyrations and rising turn-on while avoiding squirting prematurely.

She really doesn’t like it if I stop or pull out when she’s coming. I can dig it. Nobody wants their rising tidal wave of ecstasy to be short-circuited.

So as she started to climax, I continued the stroking scheme that helped her over the top. I had to use everything I learned that’s in my first ebook, Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Mastery. Though there are lots of physical techniques that help a man bypass premature ejaculation, the real power lies in channeling sexual energy away from vajra’s most sensitive erogenous zones. If you do enough of that, your whole body fills with intense orgasmic excitement. Which is what triggers full-body orgasms.

That’s what happened to me. While she was coming I had a full-body Tantric energy orgasm without squirting. I was shrieking right along with her as our bodies shook, shuddered, and jackknifed together.

Funny, but I unconsciously assumed that simultaneous orgasm was when both partners had the same kind of orgasm. There’s a whole spectrum of them, you know. But that was a silly assumption.

She had a physical explosive one and I had an energetic one at the same time. And we both loved it.

Love, Somraj

Sliding Up and Down That Alluring Crack (X-Rated)

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Don’t you agree that there’s something about a woman’s crack that is just so irresistible?

It’s my honey’s birthday month which means we celebrate a lot. Like an impromptu date after an afternoon dog walk in the rain screwing up our eminently skiable snow.

After some luscious slow caresses that got both our motors running, she scratched my back sensuously and I did hers. I don’t easily get hard there days from any old thing like I did when I was younger (from 15 to 55). But I was now.

Mostly due to the view of her tempting crack beteeen her shapely cheeks.

In Tantric Love Making we don’t always follow the same rote agenda so I let my whimsy lead. I just had this urge to slide my hard shaft up and down that alluring rear cleavage.

I’ve probably done something like this a couple times before. But after making love a few thousand times in our 20 years together, who’s counting? But don’t automatically assume this was a not-so-subtle plea for anal sex.

It was just my pulsing urge to caress her warm wet, tender crack with my bulging cockhead. No other agenda. Just gently insinuate my manhood between her inner thighs, across her perineum (between her two orifices), between her lips, and across her clio (clitoris).

With a little lube to grease the skids, I slowly probed further and further. No rush, no hurry, no goal. Just enjoying the sweet sensations of the slow journey.

Now in Tantra we do most everything with mutual consent. So I didn’t assume this would go on for long or lead to anything more. It was her squeals of delight and heavy breathing that gave me the go-ahead to carry on for maybe ten or fifteen minutes

We call this a yoni massage. That’s our word for vulva and vagina. Just not with a hand in this case.

I wasn’t particularly surprised when she got more and more turned on and wetter and wetter. But whe she started pushing back, I knew we were heading deeper.

Each time my slippery purple head crossed yoni’s mouth, she thrust towards me. Though her burning desire for penetration was clear, at first I didn’t change anything. She was taking the lead so I followed.

OK, maybe I involuntary slowed my crossing strokes a bit to facilitate entry. And magically it started to happen. It seemed like her yoni’s lips spread, reached out, sucked me in, and engulfed me.

Again, it was her thing so I didn’t succumb to my deep seated guy urge to go wild all at once. You know, as fast and hard as I could. Instead I followed her rhythm and let her pelvic rocking dictate how deep my hardon penetrated.

The Kama Sutra probably has some poetic name for this sexual position like Humping Turtles or Sliding Porpoises. Or maybe the Beast With One Back. But I just call it the Rear Surrounding Position with my legs outisde of hers and my pelvis squishing her butt. Delightful.

What’s great about this position is that it hits her G-Spot directly on every in-stroke. And prods a couple other inner erogenious zones. (You can see how to hit them all in our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making.)

Of course it’s so tight that I had to be extra vigilant that I didn’t come too soon. It was easily that stimulating for me. But fortunately she wasn’t in a hurry either. So we leisurely undulated for many minutes until our bodies needed a change.

We moved on to other fun things. But this is what I wanted to share with you now.

Let your whims loose. Enjoy every sensation. Follow each other’s energy. It may well lead to a kind of luscious coupling you never could have anticipated.

Until the play by play from our next date.

Love, Somraj

Female Orgasm, What’s A Trained Man Got To Do With It?

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We just got back from a weekend sex party with two of our best friends.

As much as we all love heartfelt spiritual sex, it became clear that even multiply orgasmic women have limits. It takes a lot of sexual energy to maintain a high level of passion over the course of multiple rounds of lovemaking for two days.

Men who have ejaculatory orgasms are even more limited. You drain more than your family jewels when you come too early in what I guess some might call an orgy. We call it a sacred family journey.

To have this much fun for so long we do the Tantric thing of focusing on higher and higher levels of pleasure without pushing for orgasm. We all experienced many of the 12 types of orgasms you can read about and learn to practice in our new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making.

But most of them were Tantric energy orgasms. These are crescendos of sensation that make us shiver, shake, and scream without the depleting play-ending explosions.

Women who enjoy these marathons more easily shift their perspective from instant gratification to extended ecstasy. More easily than the average male lover. Females we know who enjoy these kinds of lengthy sessions depend on what they call a “trained man.

That’s a male lover who is the master of his own orgasms as well as a devoted servant of their partner’s pathways to climax. Certainly trained men learn to overcome premature ejaculation. But more importantly, that advanced degree denotes that the man can tune into what his partner wants and needs at each moment.

Though I’m blessed to be a trained man, I’m more grateful to my beloved and other Tantric women who’ve educated me and guided me to help them reach such intense heights of turn-on for so long.

Towards the end of our party I noticed that we were all hovering on the edge of big explosions again and again. That started me ruminating about who was really in charge of my partner’s orgasms. Was it something I needed to do or something they did consciously? During a break I was inspired to ask “It’s not really up to me if you come, is it?”

After some chatting and reflection each woman gave a resounding “Yes, that’s right, I was near the edge over and over all night. But I had to decide when I was ready and then make myself leap off the cliff myself.”

Undoubtedly female orgasms are many times more complex than male ones. There are so many things that have to work right for her and so many things he needs to do. Otherwise he can really screw up her chances of coming big time.

That’s why most women need a trained man to assist them in exploding in a blaze of glory when making love with a partner.

To learn about all the factors, we’ve written a special report entitled “How Women Can Orgasm More Easily.” You can get it for FREE here when you register for our monthly Sacred Sexual Secrets newsletter.

 

 

Love, Somraj