Here are links to some articles that explain vital aspects of Orgasmic Sex…
Tantric Sex & Taoism: The Energetic Implications of Sex & How You Can Make It Work For You – Collective Evolution
Your Guide to Making Anal Sex More Enjoyable | Women’s Health
The Orgasm Gap: Why Some People Orgasm More Than Others & Why Orgasms Are So Misunderstood – Collective Evolution
Our sexual patterns are different. Though we have so much in common and our sex life is great, after 21 years it’s a little surprising to discover new things.
Like she wants it more often and I want each time to last longer.
Maybe quicker sex is fine for her since we’ve been making so much progress on triggering her orgasms faster. She only needed about 20 minutes of thrusting last night to explode.
For most of my sexual life I couldn’t last anywhere near that long. But my Tantra training and extensive practice with a wife who loves sex has taught me to extend. Now I can surf from peak to peak until I’m ready to let go an hour or more.
I’m just saying that I f you’re quick on the draw there is hope.
So she wants it every other day which is more than I’ve ever had before. Of course I love to help her over the top. It feels great and it’s good for my fragile male ego. But when my motor gets revved up, I prefer to float in an orbit of ecstasy for a couple hours on a good night. Or on and off all weekend during one of our marathons.
Fortunately she really gets off on swapping roles and using my favorite vibrating dildo on me. After her big O she did me like for another 40 minutes. Still I wanted more so I went to my computer after she fell asleep. Though my “internet girlfriends” don’t really know who I am, their pictures help me imagine screwing them. Which keeps me dancing on the verge while playing with myself.
The best news is that we’re both accepting of each other’s preferences. So neither of us pressures the other to change. Being sex-positive means we don’t judge or resist the fantasies that our healthy libidos drive us towards.
Anyway, we’ve both been through lots of different phases in our 21 years together. What we each crave now will probably change soon. And my guess is that it will still be ecstatic.
Love, Somraj
Somraj,
Hi there! I recently purchased your book about beating premature ejaculation and it’s great and I really enjoy it! However I’m still on the solo preparation chapter and my girlfriend is with me three nights a week and I feel I lose time on my workouts because she’s there. Would it be a good or bad idea to incorporate her in the routines? I realize that would move me to the partner preparation chapter. But we could work on that when she’s there and continue my way through solo prep and mastery when shes not there.
Thank you!
Steve
(used with permission under a changed name)
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Steve,
Absolutely, Steve. Involving her is a later stage that’s essential so the sooner the better as long as you can handle it.
Love, Somraj
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Somraj,
So it’s okay if I haven’t gotten through the solo prep to involve her but just go as slow as possible to work my way up on the 30 minutes for that first exercise of partner prep? Then on days she’s not there I’ll continue solo prep to solo mastery. Kind of like paralleling the two courses.
Steve
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Steve,
Sure. I wrote down the most reliable learning gradient for the program. But there’s no reason you can’t change it in any way that works for you. Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders so you can make it work.
Love, Somraj
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Somraj,
Thanks so much for your quick responses, Somraj! Really reinforces my decision to buy your book. Hopefully if I can kick this PE issue, the lady and I will definitely be interested in more of your material.
Steve
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Somraj,
Steve
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I’m glad you’re taking all this so seriously. And please don’t stop having sex IF you’re both enjoying it.
When I was a counselor we had a strict protocol for starting sessions by saying “this is the session” at the start and “that’s it” at the end. I suggest you do the same, making a clear distinction between practice and fun. If it was me I’d say something like “let’s practice now” and then “enough practice, can I fuck you now?” But you may want to tone down your request if she’s not into talking dirty like my wife.
Basically do whatever works best for you. And if what you try isn’t working, try something else. I’m sure you can experiment successfully.
Here are some links to articles that can help you understand and practice Orgasmic Sex…
What is tantric sex, and how can it help heal sexual trauma? | Dr Dick’s Sex Advice
Neuroscientist Explains How Orgasms Can Be Used To Reach An ‘Altered State of Consciousness’ – Collective Evolution
Bored With Sex? 3 Tips For Extraordinary Lovemaking – mindbodygreen
Here are links to some articles that reveal practices of Orgasmic Sex…
How To Make Yourself Squirt During Sex | Women’s Health
Tantric Intimacy & Sex: Why It Can Be So Important – Collective Evolution
Tantra Is The Opposite Of Porn – Learning How To Actually Be Intimate – Collective Evolution
My vajra (cock) was happily stroking away inside my wife Jeffre’s yoni (pussy) when she said, “where’s Tiani?”
No, that’s not our girlfriend’s name. It’s a little U-shaped vibrator from Lelo that’s designed for clio (clitoris) stimulation during jewel union. (We’re spiritual teachers so we don’t like to call it fucking until we know that graphic language doesn’t offend whoever we’re working with.)
So I turned Tiani on and brought it to where our jewels (genitals) were connected. Magically, one prong of Tiani’s U slipped inside her yoni. I figured that was what she wanted since she moaned louder, spread her legs wider, and pushed back on my in-strokes.
That’s when Jeffre asked if Tiani was inside her. My mistake, I should have told her what I was doing.
A basic part of Tantric sex is communication. In this case, the giver of pleasure informs the receiver about what they’re doing and what’s going on down there. Even with lots of practice we don’t always know what our playmate is doing where we can’t see. Most people are so out of touch with their bodies, especially their private parts, so that they can’t really connect the sensations they’re getting with their specific body parts.
I call telling your playmate what you’re doing to them and where labeling your actions.
Not verbally labeling what I was doing with Tiani wasn’t a major felony. In spite of my omission, we both exploded in a big simultaneous orgasm. It’s just that I missed an opportunity to improve Jeffre and Tiani’s relationship. Sure, the relationship between a live person and a sex toy is different than the marriage we share. But Tiani is a new member of our sex team and we’re still learning where, when, and how to use her.
The importance of labelling is on my mind lately while I’m revising our latest book into a new version entitled Pathways to Super-Natural Sex. In it I go to great lengths to explain how important partnership is to help us we both reach high peaks of pleasure. I feel blessed that I’ve been so well trained by my hot wife and other sexy lovers to satisfy them.
But that doesn’t mean that in every moment I know what a woman is feeling and wants more of and less of.
Part of our sexual teamwork is that we keep each other informed about what we’re experiencing. I don’t mean we talk all the time. That would disturb the sense of otherworldly rapture that Tantric Sex specializes in. It would put us in heads too much which would distract us from being able to run and stream orgasmic energy.
With just a few words we usually inform each other of changes that we liked or changes that are needed.
After Jeffre asked what our new toy was up to, I explained where Tiani’s two legs were. Then she could tell what was causing the sensations that were making her wail and flail in a good way. I had Tiani’s flat flange inside her yoni. It’s designed to allow room for my erection’s thrusts in her canal.
When I placed Tiani’s rounded vibrating leg against her clio, she almost levitated off the bed and rattled my spine with her gyrations.
If you haven’t been following my orgasmic sex feed lately, you might not have read about how critical clio stimulation is for women’s orgasms. Studies have shown that 70% of women need it to come regardless of what’s happening inside their yoni. Jeffre can come without it, but a vibe on her pearl often makes it easier and quicker.
Which is probably one of the reasons she exploded in just about ten minutes with my vajra and our new friend Tiani. Oh, I forgot to mention that the vibration does wonderful things to my sensations, too. That’s probably why I came with her this time.
Afterwards Jeffre said she really liked Tiani. That was gratifying as the U-vibe had been a present for our last anniversary that we hadn’t taken full advantage of. I’m hoping we’ll use it more now when we’re lusting for something more. And the more I label what I’m doing with Tiani, the more aware Jeffre will be about what causes the sensations she craves. Then she’ll be more able to ask for what she wants and guide me to make every stroke extra special.
This is a great example of one of the foundations of orgasmic Tantric Sex. I’m not all knowing so I don’t dominate all the proceedings. We do change off being in charge. But even when one of us is receiving, we’re also leading. So when she feels Tiani working on her, she lets me know how to get the most out of it.
Another example is when Jeffre is using my favorite vibe in my rosetta (anus). At first I couldn’t tell what she was doing. But the more she announces and explains, the better I can guide her actions. Frankly once one of us gets in an ecstatic groove, it’s the shrieks and gyrations of pleasure that we heed. Little chance of talking when we’re flying so high.
I know letting it all hang out is challenging for lots of lovers. Once I was super inhibited, too. But if you have a willing and loving partner, why don’t you experiment with talking more and showing your turn-on.
I bet you’ll love it. Or should that be “try it you’ll like it”?
Love, Somraj
I spent a lot of years having sex that didn’t involve my butt. It was usually great but I had no idea what I was missing.
How come? Well, I was worried that it was dirty. And I was so tight-assed that first attempts at entry hurt.
But mostly I had no idea how incredible it could be.
Three things helped me change all that. First was my Tantra training 20 years ago. That’s how I learned about pelvic armoring. Armoring is when parts of the body get perennially stiff and tense from false beliefs, traumas, and other negative experiences. An armored crotch is a common byproduct of toilet training. As is getting caught masturbating or doing it in the back of your old Chevy. It’s a condition many of us share due to frustrating, stressful, or painful sexual experiences.
Tantra taught me that slow, gentle, deep bodywork can help clear armoring back there. And other places too like a woman’s yoni (vagina).
Over the years I’ve had a lot of this kind of clearing thanks to my wife’s supportive sex-positive attitude. And my FOMO (fear of missing out). Gradually the tension was replaced with more relaxation and more pleasure.
Why does anal play feel so good? Well, it’s naughty and some of us like to walk on the wild side. Yes, that includes me, first in line for something new and kinky. Plus, the tissues are connected to my other highly sensitive jewels. You remember what that old song says, “the ass bone is connected to the cock bone?”
Oh, yeah, let’s not forget how many nerve endings are down there.
The second thing was my longtime girlfriend who is a colonic hydrotherapist. That is to say that she specializes in enemas. Now this is a beautiful and sexy woman who is very butt friendly. And always clean.
Not to mention how much she likes me fucking her fresh butt.
Now I’ve tried enemas before and thought it wasn’t really worth all the trouble. Well, until I got hooked on ass play. Then we remodeled our bathroom and installed a bidet so that we’d have cleaner jewels all the time. Little did I realize how motivated I’d be to wash my butt after each visit to the toilet.
So after this third thing I had no excuse but to start using fingers and toys in my backdoor. The more I did it, the more I loved it.
It seems to me that anal play adds more cylinders to my 4-cylinder sexual motor. The pleasure I get is now more like the power of a high-performance V8 engine.
Something else is happening too. While a hand, mouth, or yoni is stroking my cock, active fingers or a vibrating butt plug supercharges my pleasure. It’s more than just stronger sensations. Backdoor stimulation blends in a whole new sort of rocket fuel into the mix.
You might wonder why that would be. If you know anything about a guy’s orgasm control center, you understand. I’m talking about the prostate gland. Or what some call the male G-Spot.
When my G-spot is prodded, it’s as if a swarm of pleasure bees are released inside. They wait in the hive around my prostate until they’re awakened. Then their fast little wings massage me from the inside and make me swoon each time they stream through my body.
Last night I had several 30 to 60 second orgasms that way. They were a new variety that I’ve only had before with my vajra (penis) being excited. I call them dry orgasms because there’s no ejaculation.
Still, everything in my pelvis was vibrating at a high frequency spreading waves of sensation everywhere. Like I was driving 100 mph on the freeway until I blasted into orbit. The muscles that make me squirt were convulsing big time except the one around my prostate gland that ejects semen. That’s why I can have them over and over for a long while.
In my new ebook Long Hot Tantric Love Making three of the twelve different types of orgasm are exclusively for men: Ejaculation, G-spot, and Dry. So I was having lovely energy eruptions that blended the last two.
You know, I’ve been practicing Tantric Sex for 20 years now and it’s amazing how much I keep discovering. If you’re like me and love to explore your inner erotic world, I highly recommend it.
The Not-So-Well-Kept Secrets of Making Sex Feel Orgasmic All the Time
My last article delved deeper into the art and science of sexual peaking which you can read here. But we didn’t get all the way through to the secrets of Orgasmic Surfing. You’ll find them here in this second half.
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“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #290 published 12/14/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.
Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
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At The Summit
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At first, most of this erotic charge is generated in our jewels. As we approach a peak, various forms of fireworks are ignited. Concentrations of energy may blossom outwards. Energy streamers may shoot out of our jewels. Flares may radiate up and down. Often starbursts detonate and fill much of our bodies. These orgasmic sensations make it clear that we’re experiencing mini energy orgasms.
Often, as I’m approaching a peak, the blossoms and flares of sexual energy in my vajra (penis) spread to my G-spot. (That’s what us Tantric males call our prostate glands since they function as a guy’s orgasm control center.) It really feels like a palpable channel that’s hot and sizzling. Sometimes the sensations are in one of these powerful erogenous zones, sometimes in the other, and sometimes somewhere on the channel between the two. Some of my best orgasms have happened when the whole energy conduit between my vajra and prostate seems like a radiant fire pulsing back and forth.
I documented a lot more about what happens inside in my posts Pleasure Peaks versus Energy Orgasms here and Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks here.
Extra strong feelings seem to open electrical channels that extend from my crotch, and sometimes from my feet, all the way up to my head. These thrilling sensations seem to percolate from chakra to chakra before they boil over everywhere. A heat flush and goosebumps rise up my torso and settle on the back of my neck below my ears.
The streaming current feels like the plucking of a bass guitar string reverberating inside. That’s so intense that it makes me shiver and shudder, jerk and undulate.
There’s lots more about Sexual Energy Fireworks in my two blog posts that start here.
Alternate Peaking
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Similar things happen inside Jeffre, too. Her body is a clearcut turn-on meter because I can tell from her body language when she’s peaking. She breathes deeper, moans louder, and shivers more as her arousal rises. At the peak she bellows and her body starts jackknifing.
Like so many other guys I used to ask my lovers “did you come yet?” After making love with my passionate wife, it’s clear that the answer is always no if I have to ask. Her sexual peaks are not subtle.
After we’re momentarily resting in the valley for a moment or two, I usually check if she’s ready for another peak. I do this with little tickle from a finger on her clio (clitoris) or a little slow jab from my vajra inside her.
I remember one time, after a half-dozen tests like this, I didn’t get a very strong reaction like her pushing back or pulling my hips in. (She later admitted she had more sleepiness than sexual energy.) I thought, well it’s my turn. She did want to carry on, so during the next cycle I stroked and rocked and rolled simply to please myself. It propelled me up to an amazing pinnacle of pleasure.
I’ve heard other “experts” say that was selfish of me. But in Orgasmic Sex, we’re each responsible for our own pleasure — as long as it’s not at the expense of our partner’s comfort. Judging by Jeffre’s reaction this time, she didn’t mind at all. She followed right along and, in fact, it energized her next peak to a higher level than before.
Our typical practice is for her to reach a few peaks before I let myself go and enjoy several. We naturally find ourselves alternating for a few cycles. Sometimes, while I’m following her up a peak, the sexual charge floods my body, making me peak just after her. Then I notice the same happening to her. It’s like sexual ping pong.
Sometimes it feels like leapfrogging. Her energy fills and excites me causing me to peak. My peak triggers a higher one in her. And back and forth.
There’s more about Alternate Peaking in my blog post here.
Orgasmic Surfing
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I didn’t forget that this article is about orgasmic surfing. That’s why my friend John Hill, an Orgasmic Meditation coach, calls it when you sail from peak to peak. It’s just that everything you’ve read so far is necessary to get you to this place.
Jeffre and I find that when we get in the groove, we alternate peaks sometimes for as much as an hour. The first ones often are sharper and quicker. As we cycle up and down, two things happen: the peaks reach higher, and the peaks last longer. At the higher crests, the pleasure is more intense. At the longer ones, right, it keeps on and on.
While we do have some control over surfing from peak to peak this way, I think it needs more research. (I know, I always say that about sex.) Sometimes our peaks rise higher on their own and other times they seem to persist.
What I do know for sure is that after multiple peaks, they tend to coalesce into plateaus. That’s like a mesa in the southwest of the U.S. It’s a level upland elevated above the surrounding territory. In other words, the pleasure peak just carries on without us doing much.
To us, the great thing about jewel union (sexual intercourse) is that we both feel many of the same things at the same time. So when Jeffre is launched up to a plateau of excitement, I feel it. And it may well trigger a high peak in me that stretches out into a persistent plateau.
Typically one or both of us senses when our energy reserves are on the verge of waning. Never fear, we have options. Often we take a break for some snacks or wine. Other times, one of us decides to wrap up for the night with an explosive Big O. Or we just wind down, keeping our appetite a bit unsatisfied so we’re jonesing to do it again soon.
And sometimes, lofty plateaus launch us into orbit. We call that the Orgasmic Zone, when the current of orgasmic energy is running strong and full throughout our bodies. It’s amazing when we’re both vibrating together with sensational sexual ecstasy like this. It’s an altered energy state where the huge sexual tides surge through us on and on. See my post on Sexual Orbits which you can find in my blog here.
When I’m there, I use whatever conscious control I have to maintain my excitement at 80-90% of maximum. If I get too high, I go over the point of no return and end the fun. So I vary the speed, angle, and depth of my strokes to hover below the edge. Anytime I get over 90% the powerful erotic charge typically triggers pelvic contractions like a dry orgasm. Unless I’m ready to finish, I relax into the pulsing sensations and spread the energy so I don’t come yet.
Unfortunately There’s A Limit
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Now, alternating peaks and sharing plateaus can go on for many minutes. Sometimes 15, sometimes 30, sometimes approaching an hour. Though we sure don’t want them to stop, there is a limit to our physical stamina. Especially after a long day of work and exercise. The muscle contractions and heavy breathing are physically demanding. They take their toll on my stamina which limits how long I can stay there. Otherwise I’d just surf up there all day and all night.
I wish I had learned all this before turning 70. There’s no telling how long I would have surfed in the prime of life.
Not to worry. Sure, we can’t go as long as we used to. But it you’re younger, fit, and exercise regularly, the skies the limit. Carry on for as long as you’re flying.
Peaks and plateaus are as exciting as most ten-second tension-release orgasms. And there’s more of them that last and last and get stronger and stronger. That’s why orgasmic surfing is our preferred style of lovemaking.
Even sliding down the far side of a peak is delightful. Riding up can be more physically demanding from muscles firing and the body vibrating. But sliding down the far side of a peak is relaxing. It’s as if the bubble of sensations burst at the top, washing and massaging me inside and out with soft energetic fingers. Sliding towards the valley feels like falling into a huge pile of feathers that support and massage my body with flocks of little waves of pleasure.
Well, that’s the status of our scientific investigation into orgasmic surfing. It’s sure different than how I did sex for my first few decades. A little foreplay, a few strokes, and me coming with much awareness about my partner’s satisfaction. But I still craved it.
I hope this and my other peaking articles help you both do better than I did.
Love, Somraj
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Orgasmic Sex Blog
Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.
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Recents posts…
• Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)
• One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)
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Long Hot Tantric Love Making EBOOK
The Ultimate How-To Guide To Orgasmic Sex And Sexual Intercourse For Women And Men
Our tenth Tantric sex ebook is a how-to guide that shows you how to have the most earth-shattering sex you’ve ever dreamed of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight. Sure, sexual intercourse is natural, but so few lovers know how to make it super for both him and her.
We cover everything you need to know to supercharge sex including foreplay, intimacy, oral and anal sex, sexual positions, and in-bed communication skills. You’ll read love secrets new and old that detail how to make an emotional connection first, target your erogenous zones, connect your passion circuits, create energy circles, and fill your whole bodies with pleasure every time.
Unlike many general sex books, it focuses on the mechanics, dynamics, and energetics of sexual intercourse with color illustrations. With a thorough review of modern science and classical techniques from the Kama Sutra and ancient China, we show you how to expand your intimacy into the full erotic union of heart, mind, and soul while you’re doing it. Plus, with our explicit step-by-step instructions, you’ll learn how to enjoy any of the 12 ways to orgasm that you’ve missed out on.
We’re a long-time married couple — a Ph.D. sex therapist and a Fortune 500 people-skills trainer — who wrote this because too few women are emotionally fulfilled and sexually satisfied. And too few men know how to extend their lovemaking, have multiple orgasms themselves, and thoroughly satisfy their partners. By reading our new book, you’ll discover how to make sex super-natural so you can reach the pinnacle of sexual ecstasy together whenever you make love.
Our exposė is as much a sexual diary of our sex life as it is an easy-to-follow program to give you exactly what you want in bed. In these pages we’ve shared the ups and downs of our actual intimate encounters as if we were having a private, frank, but tasteful conversation with you in person.
Long Hot Tantric Love Making has three primary goals: 1) making lovemaking last longer, 2) expanding your sexual repertoire to include all 12 types of orgasm, and 3) making lovemaking so orgasmic that you will want to do it again and again. It’s the complete no-holds-barred graphic story of how we made our sex life more satisfying than we ever imagined possible. And how you can, too.
Click here to download it right now…
http://www.tantraattahoe.com/tantric-love-making/buy-tantric-love-making.htm
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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA
Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.
Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
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By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
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The Not-So-Well-Kept Secrets of Making Sex Feel Orgasmic All the Time
You kiss, you hug, you rip each other’s clothes off, you stick in it, and, after a few strokes. you both come in a blaze of glory. That’s the Hollywood version of hot sex. And, no doubt, it’s wonderful when it happens.
But Orgasmic Sex looks different. It’s usually more intentional than “wham bam thank you ma’am” sex. It starts slower with lots of foreplay for both until she craves penetration as much as he does. Then, instead of rushing towards a big explosion, you consciously build the sexual energy together until you shake with ecstasy. And keep the high going as long as you can, sometimes for hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #289 published 11/16/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
To get these free monthly newsletters in your email, click here to register.
Click here to comment, ask questions, or give feedback:.
This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By edging and dancing on the verge of orgasm, the eventual climax is startlingly explosive and more often simultaneous. That is, if you choose the sex-research model of releasing all the tension and blowing your wad. On the other hand, if you’ve been sparking and vibrating and convulsing for an hour or more, that physical climax may not be the be all and end all of sex.
Practitioners of Orgasmic Sex instead enjoy a long series of Tantric Energy Orgasms. These are pinnacles of excitement resulting from intense streaming of sexual energy throughout the body. It’s more like electrical currents, electromagnetic waves, and sensational starbursts than ten-seconds of contractions in your crotch.
The best news is that you get to experience all the other wonderful feelings of orgasm without men ejaculating and women draining their batteries. More about this in my articles Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks and How to Spread a Peak of Pleasure Into a Full-Body Orgasm.
The not-so-well-kept secret of Orgasmic Sex is how to consciously surf up and down peaks of pleasure.
Conscious Peaking
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I’ve written a lot about sexual peaking in previous blog and newsletter articles. (If you want the whole story, start with this how-to article, The 5 S’s of Peaking. More links appear below.). But the more we make love, and we do it several times a week, the more we learn about this dance of love. So I’m adding to the evolving science of conscious peaking here. When all is said and done, maybe we’ll offer a college degree in Orgasmic Sex.
For those unfamiliar with this erotic talent, let me explain first that a peak is…
A sudden surge of turn-on in which your excitement rises to a high level and quickly drops back down sharply.
Conscious Peaking is…
The skill of intentionally adjusting sexual stimulation in order to rise to a peak of pleasure and then descend on the other side without an explosive orgasm. It’s fully enjoying a high level of excitement and then immediately changing, slowing, or stopping the stimulation.
Tantric lovers learn Conscious Peaking by developing their sensitivity and mastery of sexual energy. If this is a new concept to you, we define that as…
The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations. It’s sometimes referred to as Orgasmic Energy or Kundalini.
There’s lots more about sexual energy in my article Sexual Electricity 101.
Though what you’re doing with your hands, mouths, jewels (genitals), and minds controls the ebb and flow of your turn-on, learning to peak consciously requires a complementary set of skills. You need to refine your ability to summon, expand, guide, spread, and exchange sexual energy.
My awareness of the mechanics of peaking has been growing as our “research” into Orgasmic Sex continues. (By research I mean we screw often, watch what happens, and then talk about it.) We each have our own way of managing the soaring of our ascents and the settling down during our descents. Since we’re each much more aware of what’s happening to our personal erogenous zones, we have to guide each other. It takes verbal and non-verbal communication to make it clear what we want more of in each moment.
For me, an old guy, I have to create enough stimulation to stay hard and excited while at the same time not getting so sensitive that I ejaculate prematurely. My wife Jeffre adjusts her position, my hands, and sometimes her vibrator to maximize her passion before she falls back into a soft cushion of relaxed pleasure. Together we adjust our speed, angle, and depth of stroking to help us rise and fall.
Sexual Valleys
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What I’ve been learning about Conscious Peaking recently is what we each do on the way up to peaks and the way down into sexual valleys. Since I was once a chemist, my natural tendency is to graph the progression of sexual peaks. I stroke, she pushes back, I change my pattern, she speeds up, I follow her, and we fly over the summit together. Or some such choreography.
When one or both of us peaks, we slow or still our movements to lessen the stimulation. This is a major element of our Tantra training: relax into states of high arousal and allow the energy to stream all over deliciously. You’ve heard it before, take your time to smell the roses.
As she relaxes, Jeffre tends to shiver, shimmy, and shake as she relaxes. I do the same sometimes, but just as often I let all my muscles go slack and savor the sensations of energy streaming through me. Then, as we settle back for a few moments, all our attention is on the feelings washing through our bodies. In other words, neither of us does much for a moment or two except feeling those orgasmic sensations.
Are you getting the picture that our lovemaking consists of a series of cycles with short breaks in between? They usually last a few minutes each followed by a few second pause. But alternating peaks can’t happen unless the supporter is willing to give up their urgent need to push for the maximum excitement while their partner’s pleasure rises and falls.
Usually one of us prompts the other to start up again. I might gently flick a finger outside or stroke inside slowly to see if she reacts. She sometimes starts spreading her thighs and pushing into me which makes her shiver. And turns me on. We restart in a tentative way, waiting for a clear reaction before we get vigorous again. Sometimes I resume and she supports me, and other times the reverse.
This is one part of how we share the power of who’s leading and who’s following. A basic premise of Tantric Sex is that we’re each fully responsible for our own pleasure. Sure, at times that requires being a little self-centered. But who knows better than the one who’s receiving pleasure at each moment? So we both monitor our own arousal, ask for what we want, notice where our partner is at, and subsequently adjust what our bodies are doing.
Rising Up A Peak
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The physics of our excitement rising up to a peak isn’t mysterious. Sexual friction generates energy. The more we move, the hotter we get. The better we target our erogenous zones (her 20 and my 11), the more intense our arousal gets. Before we know it, the level of our turn-on suddenly ascends to a crest.
Sometimes though we’re just not that hot to trot. Then we concentrate on some Tantric tools to amplify whatever sexual energy is percolating inside. I call the most fundamental ones the five cruxes of ecstasy. These are being present in the body, deep belly breathing, moving erotically, making love sounds, and visualizing energy flow. After years of practice both during and apart from making love, we can usually transform a few sparks into a full blaze of pleasure. Then the erotic charge streams more robustly and launches us to high peaks.
It’s pretty clear when our excitement is rising. Our breathing deepens and our moans get louder. Our muscles tense and our nerves fire. Heat and goosebumps surge upwards. Our jewels fill with blood and our erogenous zones are triggered. Our tissues vibrate and our bodies shake. This happens because we’re generating more and more sexual electrical current at higher and higher voltage.
That’s all for now. Sorry you’ll have to wait for the next issue to find out what happens at the summit of a peak. And then how you surf from peak to peak. Or if you can’t wait, click here to read the second half in our Orgasmic Sex blog.
Love, Somraj
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Orgasmic Sex Blog
Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.
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Recents posts…
• Combo Strokes: Using 2 Fingers for Erotic Massage (X-Rated)
• One Easy Tip For Lasting Longer While Thrusting Inside (X-Rated)
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Past Articles…
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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA
Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.
Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
– deepen love and intimacy,
– extend lovemaking, and
– create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.
By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
– heals your mind, body, and spirit,
– connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
– immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
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We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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Here are some good articles that apply to Orgasmic Sex…
The Best Ways to Touch Her Vagina | Men’s Health
The Female Orgasm: Overcoming the Orgasm Gap and Problems with Anorgasmia
9 Key Tantric Sex Principles That Will Reenergize Your Sex Life | YourTango