Let Go of Your False Beliefs to Make Your Sex Life More Orgasmic
Our last article introduced the first six of the sex myths that too many lovers believe. And, as a result, limit their pleasure and enjoyment of orgasmic sex. Here are the other seven.
“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #286 published 8/25/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
7. Sex Myth: You Shouldn’t Masturbate If You’re In Relationship
Self-love has a bad rap in general. But even if you accept that it’s OK to play with your jewels while single, you might not believe that pleasuring yourself is a good thing while coupled. It can be. What if you’re apart for too long as measured by your body asking for pleasure or relief? What if a guy needs to relieve some pressure so he can last longer with his partner? What if he falls asleep and you’re not done? What if there are some things you’d like your partner to try on you that are best shared by watching? And let’s not forget that it’s way hot to watch your loved one get themselves off in front of you. We don’t need any restrictive rules about what kinds of sex are OK. As long as it’s consensual and feels good, go for it no matter what those critical voices are whispering in your head.
8. Sex Myth: One Partner Can Do It All For You
Though I’m a stout advocate that we can all get better at sex with communication and experimentation, there are limits. And I’m not just referring to penis size. She can strengthen her yoni muscles and he can shift to tighter positions. Some of us just like different things. For example, my ex hated slurpy deep-tongue kissing so we never did that. My current honey once had a lover with a much thinner dick than mine that could prod deeper crevices that are hard for me to reach. Some can’t get enough of anal sex or bondage while their partners can’t stand it. Some of these differences can be satisfied through self-pleasuring and sex toys. For others, many resort to opening their relationship to outside play. I’m not saying monogamy isn’t a healthy preference for those who get enough that way. Just, there are multiple alternatives when the only one isn’t everything.
9. Sex Myth: A Good Lover Knows Instinctively How to Bring You Maximum Pleasure
Because I’ve studied a lot, had lots of lovers, and pay attention to what my playmates like, I’ve gotten pretty good at satisfying my partners. Confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac to many. But even though I may be a bit more psychic than the average untrained lover, I never assume that I know what will get my partner off. With all playmates, but especially new ones, I pay a lot of attention to their reactions. I flick this, diddle that, rub here, and stroke there until I get positive response. I see myself as more of a trekker looking for the best trail rather than a Nobel Prize winning expert.
10. Sex Myth: Don’t Initiate Sex Unless You’re Turned-On First
Sex is undeniably much better if you’re turned-on first. In fact, in can be difficult or even painful if you’re not. But do you have to be hard or wet before you let your partner know you’re interested? No, I think not. When I was younger it didn’t take much to generate that schwing reaction in my pants. As we age, our decreasing hormones don’t prompt such instant or strong physical responses. Yet I know that I love sex and want it with my beloved. So sometimes we decide to turn each other on and see what happens. A wild romp is often the result.
11. Sex Myth: If He Lasts Long Enough She’ll Come
Studies have shown that women take 20 to 40 minutes to orgasm. Add to that the fact that the average length of intercourse is around 5 minutes, and you might assume lasting longer is enough. Well, sure, he has to last longer than 5 minutes for most women. But the old in-and-out isn’t enough for everyone. As mentioned above, clio stimulation is essential for around 70% of women. The conclusion: learn how to make sex last longer and add in stimulating other erogenous zones.
12. Sex Myth: Sometimes No Means Yes
For those of us raised in a sex-negative culture like the good old USA in decades past, girls were taught from an early age to say no. Even if they wanted it. In other words, we’ve been programmed for the young knight to be the irresistible aggressor and the damsel in distress to give in without taking any responsibility. What bullshit! The truth is that sex is great and we all want it. We just need to approach it maturely, consciously, and lovingly. For the best in orgasmic sex, we insist that all lovers take total responsibility for their own pleasure. Every player in the game needs to offer enthusiastic consent. So a no means no. As well, a lukewarm half-hearted yes means not now and maybe not ever.
13. Sex Myth: Guys Want Sex and Gals Want Love
From one perspective, this myth is true. Men do want sex and women do want love. On the other hand, gals want sex and guys want love, too. Let’s not oversimplify the dance of the sexes. Why can’t we all have it all?
We can rearrange our thinking away from these false beliefs by adopting one simple guideline: if it feels good, go for it.
That requires that it’s got to feel good to everyone involved. Which includes understanding your own sexual anatomy, what your partners’ bodies respond to, and how you’re all feeling in each moment. So communicate about sex more, experiment, pay attention, and do more of what makes your orgasmic energy rise.
And throw out anybody else’s idea of the right way to do it. Including mine.
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Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
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