The Not-So-Well-Kept Secrets of Making Sex Feel Orgasmic All the Time
You kiss, you hug, you rip each other’s clothes off, you stick in it, and, after a few strokes. you both come in a blaze of glory. That’s the Hollywood version of hot sex. And, no doubt, it’s wonderful when it happens.
But Orgasmic Sex looks different. It’s usually more intentional than “wham bam thank you ma’am” sex. It starts slower with lots of foreplay for both until she craves penetration as much as he does. Then, instead of rushing towards a big explosion, you consciously build the sexual energy together until you shake with ecstasy. And keep the high going as long as you can, sometimes for hours.
“Sacred Sexual Secrets” Newsletter #289 published 11/16/2017
Published by Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
ISSN 1540-8825 (c) Copyright 2017 by TantraAtTahoe.com
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This free ezine (scroll to the end if you want to unsubscribe) offers practical sex tips derived from modern sex research and the ancient wisdom of Tantra and the Kama Sutra. We teach Supreme Bliss Tantra to help you deepen relationship intimacy and reach astounding heights of sexual ecstasy through long-distance learning and hands-on training.
Our Motto: Deeper Into The Heart Of Sex
By edging and dancing on the verge of orgasm, the eventual climax is startlingly explosive and more often simultaneous. That is, if you choose the sex-research model of releasing all the tension and blowing your wad. On the other hand, if you’ve been sparking and vibrating and convulsing for an hour or more, that physical climax may not be the be all and end all of sex.
Practitioners of Orgasmic Sex instead enjoy a long series of Tantric Energy Orgasms. These are pinnacles of excitement resulting from intense streaming of sexual energy throughout the body. It’s more like electrical currents, electromagnetic waves, and sensational starbursts than ten-seconds of contractions in your crotch.
The best news is that you get to experience all the other wonderful feelings of orgasm without men ejaculating and women draining their batteries. More about this in my articles Physical Versus Energetic Sexual Peaks and How to Spread a Peak of Pleasure Into a Full-Body Orgasm.
The not-so-well-kept secret of Orgasmic Sex is how to consciously surf up and down peaks of pleasure.
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I’ve written a lot about sexual peaking in previous blog and newsletter articles. (If you want the whole story, start with this how-to article, The 5 S’s of Peaking. More links appear below.). But the more we make love, and we do it several times a week, the more we learn about this dance of love. So I’m adding to the evolving science of conscious peaking here. When all is said and done, maybe we’ll offer a college degree in Orgasmic Sex.
For those unfamiliar with this erotic talent, let me explain first that a peak is…
A sudden surge of turn-on in which your excitement rises to a high level and quickly drops back down sharply.
Conscious Peaking is…
The skill of intentionally adjusting sexual stimulation in order to rise to a peak of pleasure and then descend on the other side without an explosive orgasm. It’s fully enjoying a high level of excitement and then immediately changing, slowing, or stopping the stimulation.
Tantric lovers learn Conscious Peaking by developing their sensitivity and mastery of sexual energy. If this is a new concept to you, we define that as…
The electromagnetic life force in the human body responsible for attraction, sexual desire, libido, sex drive, turn-on, and orgasm. Lovers experience it as a flow of nervous stimulation, physical excitation, and moving sensations. It’s sometimes referred to as Orgasmic Energy or Kundalini.
There’s lots more about sexual energy in my article Sexual Electricity 101.
Though what you’re doing with your hands, mouths, jewels (genitals), and minds controls the ebb and flow of your turn-on, learning to peak consciously requires a complementary set of skills. You need to refine your ability to summon, expand, guide, spread, and exchange sexual energy.
My awareness of the mechanics of peaking has been growing as our “research” into Orgasmic Sex continues. (By research I mean we screw often, watch what happens, and then talk about it.) We each have our own way of managing the soaring of our ascents and the settling down during our descents. Since we’re each much more aware of what’s happening to our personal erogenous zones, we have to guide each other. It takes verbal and non-verbal communication to make it clear what we want more of in each moment.
For me, an old guy, I have to create enough stimulation to stay hard and excited while at the same time not getting so sensitive that I ejaculate prematurely. My wife Jeffre adjusts her position, my hands, and sometimes her vibrator to maximize her passion before she falls back into a soft cushion of relaxed pleasure. Together we adjust our speed, angle, and depth of stroking to help us rise and fall.
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What I’ve been learning about Conscious Peaking recently is what we each do on the way up to peaks and the way down into sexual valleys. Since I was once a chemist, my natural tendency is to graph the progression of sexual peaks. I stroke, she pushes back, I change my pattern, she speeds up, I follow her, and we fly over the summit together. Or some such choreography.
When one or both of us peaks, we slow or still our movements to lessen the stimulation. This is a major element of our Tantra training: relax into states of high arousal and allow the energy to stream all over deliciously. You’ve heard it before, take your time to smell the roses.
As she relaxes, Jeffre tends to shiver, shimmy, and shake as she relaxes. I do the same sometimes, but just as often I let all my muscles go slack and savor the sensations of energy streaming through me. Then, as we settle back for a few moments, all our attention is on the feelings washing through our bodies. In other words, neither of us does much for a moment or two except feeling those orgasmic sensations.
Are you getting the picture that our lovemaking consists of a series of cycles with short breaks in between? They usually last a few minutes each followed by a few second pause. But alternating peaks can’t happen unless the supporter is willing to give up their urgent need to push for the maximum excitement while their partner’s pleasure rises and falls.
Usually one of us prompts the other to start up again. I might gently flick a finger outside or stroke inside slowly to see if she reacts. She sometimes starts spreading her thighs and pushing into me which makes her shiver. And turns me on. We restart in a tentative way, waiting for a clear reaction before we get vigorous again. Sometimes I resume and she supports me, and other times the reverse.
This is one part of how we share the power of who’s leading and who’s following. A basic premise of Tantric Sex is that we’re each fully responsible for our own pleasure. Sure, at times that requires being a little self-centered. But who knows better than the one who’s receiving pleasure at each moment? So we both monitor our own arousal, ask for what we want, notice where our partner is at, and subsequently adjust what our bodies are doing.
Rising Up A Peak
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The physics of our excitement rising up to a peak isn’t mysterious. Sexual friction generates energy. The more we move, the hotter we get. The better we target our erogenous zones (her 20 and my 11), the more intense our arousal gets. Before we know it, the level of our turn-on suddenly ascends to a crest.
Sometimes though we’re just not that hot to trot. Then we concentrate on some Tantric tools to amplify whatever sexual energy is percolating inside. I call the most fundamental ones the five cruxes of ecstasy. These are being present in the body, deep belly breathing, moving erotically, making love sounds, and visualizing energy flow. After years of practice both during and apart from making love, we can usually transform a few sparks into a full blaze of pleasure. Then the erotic charge streams more robustly and launches us to high peaks.
It’s pretty clear when our excitement is rising. Our breathing deepens and our moans get louder. Our muscles tense and our nerves fire. Heat and goosebumps surge upwards. Our jewels fill with blood and our erogenous zones are triggered. Our tissues vibrate and our bodies shake. This happens because we’re generating more and more sexual electrical current at higher and higher voltage.
That’s all for now. Sorry you’ll have to wait for the next issue to find out what happens at the summit of a peak. And then how you surf from peak to peak. Or if you can’t wait, click here to read the second half in our Orgasmic Sex blog.
Orgasmic Sex Blog
Do you have questions about sex? Want to learn what other great lovers are doing? Join the dialogue in our explicit Orgasmic Sex Discussion Board for open sharing of sexual issues and erotic encounters here.
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Somraj Pokras & Jeffre TallTrees
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SUPREME BLISS TANTRA
Supreme Bliss is the zenith of sexual ecstasy which transforms orgasmic energy into expanded consciousness.
Supreme Bliss Tantra is the modern system of personal transformation based on the ancient Eastern spiritual path which uses sexual energy practices to…
– deepen love and intimacy,
– extend lovemaking, and
– create continuous full-body mind-altering Tantric Orgasms.
By opening your senses of the present moment, embracing all of life and all of your being, and focusing on pleasure as a divine gift, Supreme Bliss Tantra…
– heals your mind, body, and spirit,
– connects you passionately with your deeper self and your beloved, and
– immerses you deeply into the untold joys of sacred sexuality to
reach cosmic peaks of pleasure to make life an ecstatic journey in total communion with all that is.
We respect the privacy of our readers. We NEVER provide our subscriber list to ANYONE. The information contained in this document represents the current view of Tantra At Tahoe on the issues discussed as of the date of publication. We provide this free advice in the hopes that your conscious use will improve your sexual life. If you have a medical or psychological condition, please contact your health professional before acting on this advice. Our guidance is not intended as medical or psychological treatment, psychotherapy, or services best performed by a health professional. Information provided in this document is provided “AS IS” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. You assume the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of suggestions in this document. Without our personal services, your results may vary.
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